Code Breaker
by GiveMeEverything
Summary: **Shelved** Santana and Brittany were trained to be agents. They fell in love but never got their happy ending. 10 years later Santana rescues Brittany from a suicide mission gone wrong. Will they pick up where they left off or has Brittany moved on?
1. I found you

Chapter 1

Everything was set. I'd take out the two guards at the door, doing the two agents a favor also catching them off guard. Chaos is the best plan; you can always slip away with your target. The agents would recoil while reinforcements would arrive on the scene, by then I'd be in. She was in room 703. I'd have 5 minutes to set off the bombs in the hallway. If things went as planned, the rest of the rats would take the cheese and I'd have her to myself. The rest was simple, run up 3 floors through the fire escape to the roof top where a helicopter was ready to fly. We'd be home free. Who knew stealing the daughter of the American Ambassador could be so easy. We'd be a thousand meters in the air when the embassy became a melting pot of explosions. The agency would thank me if they knew I was still alive.

5-4-3-2- go. Everything goes as planned. I get into the building, land on 7th and begin setting off the bombs. But she isn't supposed to come out. It happens so fast, one minute I'm working my fingers in a frenzy jamming the codes into explosions set on every pillar; the next minute my presence is being alerted. I have to run. I take one last look at her, still so beautiful still so much the girl she'd been when I last saw her. It may be the last time I get to see her; I may be dead in the next 3 minutes, she might be in the next 8 – screw that, we might both be gone by the end of the night. And I know I have to do the most important thing in my life, what I'd failed to do that night 10 years ago before everything changed. I stop running. My loaded shot gun feels like fire in my hands as I take out the 3 body guards covering her.

5 minutes left. I run down the hall faster than I ever have in my life. My head-guard for protection and disguise hits the ground. In that moment we lock eyes before our bodies collided. "I love you", its only a whisper.

It's only one second, but that moment lasts forever. I pull away and tranquilize her. Leaving her body crumpled on the ground as I deactivate the explosions. There is a whole army coming for me to be sure. The helicopter lifts off and leave the scene just as the mowing guns fire in my direction. I've failed but not completely. The agency won't be happy, but I don't give a shit about them. My identity hasn't been compromised, and I still have a shot at completing my mission; my only mission since this all started.

I make it back to the van I hijacked from the government on ground level in record time. I have to see where she's being taken. I search every screen on the network with frenzy. If I lose track of her tonight it'll take me longer to find her again and time is running out. The news is already broadcasting the failed attempt of a terrorist attack on the American embassy in China. I quickly set up a secure window on the network that gives me 3 minutes to locate her tracker. I'd slipped it in her pocket in the split second of our embrace before I left her sedated. A red dot flashs on the grid map of downtown Beijing. Bingo, alley behind the embassy.

I run to a small alleyway between two block buildings, it's hardly a crack but it's enough to conceal my 'plan B' way of escape. I rev up the motor of the sleek racing bike before kicking it into full speed. A bomb explodes behind me. That'll give the news some excitement after the main firework display was laid off. The 'borrowed' surveillance van will have to do. Besides, no one needs to know I've been there.

I stealthily approach the government's bullet-proof cars in the dingy street between the embassy's two buildings. They are a huge contrast, the front – visitor building- is classically designed to show the beautiful Chinese culture. The one behind looks like an armor barracks found in the States; metallic and blocked shape – cold. Between them is the small street where a caravan of government vehicles is making its way to an unknown location. They have her. And I have to get her before they reach their destination. Out of sight, behind my spying corner, I check my ipad for her; she iss in the fourth to last car in the ten vehicle caravan. The three behind her are likely for protection.

I have to make my move now. My target is easy. He's been wandering about obviously on duty scanning for anything unusual but he's become wary and his guard is down. Perfect. I make a small noise which alerts him; carefully he drifts closer to my corner. I pounce on him from above where I've attached myself to the filthy piping. It only takes one blow to the back of his skull.

Before long the procession is ready to move out. I take the driver's seat of the 7th Sedan. We hit the open road and stay in formation. My partner is a young man. I can't see his face due to the concealing helmets we wear, but I can tell by his physique that he's not more than 20. This is great, I'm behind the wheels, I have a newbie for company and at the back – I hold my most prized possession.

We are entering a forested area now; deep in there somewhere is probably a safe house where no one can find the highly endangered ambassador. Tom Wilkins has done nothing wrong, just followed orders and didn't know he was set up. He doesn't deserve to die but many times that is the price of hiding the truth.

I know, when we arrive at our destination everyone is going to die along with the ambassador – except for me and her.

It'ss now or never; I step on the gas and rear off the road into the forest. I don't look back. I jam the communication system when the voice over the intercom demands I stop the car. I try my best to steer through the rugged terrain with my right hand while my left holds a gun trained on my seat-mate. He doesn't look like he's going to give me any trouble though, he actually looks terrified. Still, I've learned the hard way to never trust anyone.

I keep driving through the forest at break neck speed, pushing the limits of the Sedan. It's not built for the rough ground and I don't know how much longer before it falls apart. I note that we're not being chased anymore. I know why; she isn't their main priority, she's just an agent on the job and it's unfortunate that she has to be killed along with everyone else who knows about the operation. But then again they won't mind her being alive; they can always try to get her back. But that's not going to happen because I'm never letting her go; they aren't going to take her away from me again.

The car comes to a stop and I deal with first things first. I tell the boy to get out of the car while I open the back seat and carry my prized possession out; I take her up a hill and into a crevice padded with autumn leaves. I want nothing more than to sit here and look at her face but I have to finish securing our safety. I go back to the car only to find the young man among the forest ferns – crawling. Is the guy stupid? I tell him to follow me towards the crevice; he comes after me but keeps crawling. I notice he is using mostly his arms to move forward so I see if he's been injured. I take off his helmet and am met by the face of a boy – not under 20 but he could pass for one right now with that look of fear. I'm not going to hurt you I tell him, but you have to tell me what's wrong. I find out he was crippled from an accident at a young age. I scoop him up and carry him the rest of the way. Now that my two captives are out of danger's way I set to work wiring the car with explosives. I pull the trigger the moment I'm safely out of the zone. No one can find us now.

It's getting dark and as much as I want to get going, there's no way to navigatethrough the dense forest with two people who can't walk. I start a fire just small enough to illuminate the cave and take out some food from my backpack. I make small talk with the boy while we eat energy bars – it's the best 'food' I can do in this situation. The boy's name is Artie and he worked as a computer technician. He's the son of General Abrams one of the men behind the secret operation. I wonder how the agency got the enemy's son to work for them.

Just than my other captive starts to stir, she opened her eyes, and they are gorgeous and light. The flames reflect in them but all I see is what I have missed the most for the last 10 years of my life. There is movement to my right and the boy Artie shifts himself closer to her. "Stop", I tell him."Don't touch her". He gives me a questioning look and tells me "but she's my girlfriend."

So that explains the whole switching sides' thing. Apparently, this computer god in the body of a cripple has fallen for a trap set by the agency to work against his own father. And of course he's fallen in love with the bait. She always has a way of getting into people's hearts like that – she'd first done it with me.

_"Get in line"! I don't remember how I got here. All I know is that when I woke up I was being ushered out of a strange white room along with dozens of other girls; they looked just as confused as I felt. We all walked down the hall of this really white building – it was seriously too white to be real. The walls, roof, and floor were all the same slick, white. We were directed to an auditorium, with enough seats to hold about 2000 people; and it filled up quickly. A man wearing a white suit, surprise, came out and started to speak. I wasn't really paying attention to what he said because his voice was annoyingly dronish; I found studying the faces of the people around me much more interesting. The man was talking about how this was a facility that would teach us everything we needed to know about defending our country. Great, we were specifically chosen to be part of this honorable service but I wanted to know why us – why me? Everyone in the room, male and female, had things in common, we were all young –around the same age, and we all wore the same white wife beaters with loose fitting sweat pants. The drone dragged on about how we would help keep the country safe and how the agency known as Millenicon would teach us everything from, physical combat, to advanced intelligence techniques that would put us at an advantage over capital enemies. _

_It was finally finished, and I was informed to go through a door on the east side. In a single file we went into the adjourning room and picked out an egg from a pool. A worker took it from us and opened the egg, keyed some information into a computer and sent us on our way to the next station. The robot worker at station one informed me that from now on I was Agent 595. At station two I sat strapped in a chair while another robot put a chip in my wrist – I guess they'd use it to keep tabs on me. At the final station I was to press a number at random on a widescreen, there were a thousand numbers to choose from and it didn't really matter which one I chose. The number I pressed would be my roommate for the next four years. 777 looked good; it was made up of my lucky number anyways. The screen displayed a picture of 777; she was a pretty girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Just my type I smirked. I got my – well mine and hers - room number, also I was given a map of the facility so I could find it. While the other girls went straight to looking for their rooms, I was instructed to go into the adjourning waiting room. That's where I met 777, in the picture she was pretty, but in person she looked 10 times better. I couldn't wait to get my hands on her. _

_A woman - this time human – came in and said that since I had been the one to pick my mate, I was the leader. We were a team, responsible for each other but I would be held more accountable. Inwardly I was amused, things just got better because I loved to lead and this girl was going to have to do everything I said. _

_She walked behind me as I navigated my way to our room. And she was just as I predicted, very blonde and very talkative. _

_"You know why it's so clean in here?" I wasn't the least bit interested but it didn't stop her from answering her own question. "It's because little white men with squeegees come out at night and wash all the surfaces. They use white suds too so that no one will se"e. I did actually wonder about the walls – not why they were so clean, but why they had to be white. I love black._

_ I thought of a way to shut her up, at least for a minute. "I don't care if it's clean, but I want to know why they had to make everything so white, I'd much prefer black", I said. I thought that would keep her silent for a while but she answered back as soon as I'd finished. "It's because the men can't see the dirt if the walls aren't white – and if the walls are black then I'd bump into you because there'd be no lights". For all the crazy stuff she said, she did have a point there. The only way we were seeing anything was because the walls were illuminating with some sort of energy that was nothing like natural sunlight or regular tungsten lights. It was softer on the eyes yet harsh in a way that made everything look plastic and surreal. I touched the wall out of curiosity, it buzzed not in a shocking way but it certainly vibrated. Finally we found our room, all this time she had been talking about her squeegee men. _

_The room was pretty large for two people. It had two single beds, two closets, two desks with two large flat-screen computers and the rest was just empty space – white empty space. There was also a door leading to the bathroom where everything was predictably void of color, from the bathrobes to the shower stall – even the mirror, no not the frame, the actual mirror was some sort of white surface that although gave off the normal reflection still managed to annoyingly fit the color theme. At least the bathroom had a hot tub. _

_We didn't have anything to unpack seeing as everything had been provided for us; the closet was full of clothes that thankfully were not all one color. Not knowing what to do, I hopped onto the bed furthest from the door – closest to the bathroom – and just lay there in bliss, I might as well catch up on some sleep. I didn't know what my partner was doing and I didn't care, except I could feel her eyes on me as I covered my face with my pillow. I was right; she was looking at me, in a sort of lost kind of way. _

_"What do you want? Why are you looking at me like that?" I challenged her but she didn't move or look away. I seriously hoped there wasn't anything wrong with this girl. "Nothing", she said softly, "I just don't like to sleep near the door". Now there has got to be some crazy reason for that and I thought I'd humor myself with her story. "Why?" I question. "I don't like doors." She said bluntly. "_That's it?"_ I was hoping for something over the top, maybe involving monsters. "My brother put a bucket of paint on top of my bedroom door once, she began to say, and I opened it and it fell on my head. Then he ambushed me with a paintball gun when I was sitting in bed crying. I was blue for days from the paint and bruises. Now every time someone opens the door I go all numb."_

_ I laughed at that, it was funny and something I would totally do if I had a younger sister, or brother – but I was an only child. I actually had something like that planned for 777. That is until I looked at her face after recounting her story and enduring my laughter. I never wanted to see that face again, and from then on I did everything to make sure I never had to. _

_"Hey, don't cry." She didn't listen to me but ran to the bathroom instead. I rolled my eyes like I always do when I screw things up and have to fix them. Slowly opening the bathroom door I saw 777 standing over the sink. She'd calmed down somewhat and had splashed her face with water to hide her tears, but her eyes were still a little red. "Hey", I tried to sound sweet, "you can have my bed". I wanted to say sorry for laughing, but I don't usually apologize to anyone; but this wasn't just anyone. "I'm sorry for laughing at you", it almost didn't come out of my mouth but she heard me._

_"That's ok, everyone laughs at me when I tell them my doorphobia story but you're the first to ever apologize". She smiled so big and bright that it outshined the white walls. And that was the first day Brittany S. Pierce forced her way into Santana Lopez's heart. _


	2. Where you leave me behind

**I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed my story and also thank you for all the alerts and favorites.**

** It means a lot to me. I hope you continue to enjoy my story. **

Chapter 2

It's getting late and I have to leave now if I want to transport those two out of here in the morning. My plan is to get a car and park it somewhere along the dirt road a little ways from here. My watch reads 11:30. They should be fine sleeping here; I set my spy cam on a branch so I can monitor their location when I'm away. If I'm fast we can be out of the forest by dawn.

It doesn't take long to get the car. I make my way out of the forest and call the highway police saying I'd been robbed. I certainly look the part, standing here by the road in my torn tank-top and jeans, covered in dirt. It takes the police 15 minutes to arrive and they start inquiring about my situation. I don' bother giving them any answers as I take them out in a few swift blows and borrow the car and uniforms jamming the signal as I get in the car so I'm off the grid. It's only 1pm now and last I checked my captives were sound asleep back at camp so I had time on my hands. Since it'd only taken the cops 15 minutes to get here I figure civilization isn't so far away. I drive back the way the cops had come; might as well drop them off at the station on my way into town. It's not far and soon I am driving through a small rural town. First stop the police station; I leave the naked men on the side walk bench a short ways from the station. Now to stock up on real food; I stop at a convenience store and pay the grocer with the cops money carrying the bags to the car. It isn't much but it's enough to feed us till we get back to my hideout.

I make my way back to the forest to pick up my passengers; half way there I check my ipad only to see that there is one person still sleeping. "Dammit, where has Brittany gone?" I increase my speed needing to find her. I keep checking the screen to see if she returns but she doesn't. I find a place to park the car where no one will see it and jump out. We had to leave soon if we want to be sure no one can follow our trail. 2pm. I have one hour to find her. I run back to the crevice and stop to catch my breath.

"Hey, 595, good timing you passed the drill". I spin around and there she is sitting on a rock comfortably holding my shot gun. "God you scared me, I thought something happened to you," I respond with heavy breath. "Please", she says, "you're not the only agent here, bet I could have done your little run to find food mission in half the time"; I chuckle because she has a way of calming me down with her sense of humor.

"777, I play along, how did you know where I went and how do you have my gun?" I thought she was sleeping. As if reading my mind she simply answers that she'd been conscious the whole time and had noticed me looking through my bag for food only to come up with energy bars which I'd thrown into the fire. It's true; I have no appetite for those things after living on them for the past three days. But that doesn't explain the gun, I'm sure I brought it with me. She shrugs and says she'd taken it from my back pocket when I was bent over catching my breath, she knows I always keep it there. I forget how sneaky she is, I swear she's so quiet, she's like a ghost sometimes; Or more like she's my angel.

_It was one of those drill classes we had every afternoon. The first weeks we'd trained for stamina and physical strength. I thought I'd had this, before coming into the program I took kick boxing and karate for six months. I was going to be the best at this; except I was slightly mistaken. Don't get me wrong I beat everyone in every stage of the marathon, but 777 always beat me. I was upset but I couldn't be mad and I never let her know about it. I was always second to 777 in the 2000 meter run, the 800 meter swim, the 100 bike laps, the climbing maze, and the rock climbing challenge. Every day I vowed to beat her but she just got better and better. I knew my frustration was starting to show and she picked up on it almost immediately. _

_"Hey, you almost beat me today." We were getting changed in the locker room after the grueling marathon. And yeah today was the closest to keeping up with her I had ever come, but she still won easily. "Thanks", was all I could say because I knew she wasn't gloating, she was really trying to make me feel better. "Tomorrow I promise you'll win", Brittany sounded so sure. "Yeah right", it came out as a breath but she heard. "No, I promise", she reiterated, "because you can't break a promise or something bad will happen to you – like maybe grow a third eye". I found that amusing. The next day I did win, and it felt good. I know she let me and she was almost happier for me than I was for myself. Come to think of it the ten remaining days of the marathon, I came in first place. She was probably happy that she didn't have to deal with my grumpiness so she kept on letting me win._

_ Then after the marathon had 'run its course' pun not intended, we were given a new challenge. It was basically a game of tag; if you were caught your team lost. Each team had a tagger and a free runner. The tagger wore a glove that took out the runner of the opposite team if touched by it. The goal was to tag out the free runner of the other team while navigating through a giant jumbo gym._

_ It was 777's and my turn. I naturally wanted to be the tagger first and 777 didn't mind. The game started and I quickly chased the other free runner leaving 777 to fend for herself. It took about 15 minutes but we won. The second round we traded gloves and positions. Now I was running. The other tagger was fast but I was faster. Every so often I would watch 777 chasing down her target, each time she got closer to winning the game for us. I must have lost focus because I was slipping on some bars and my hunter was catching up I steadied my grip but realized I had come to the edge of the maze and would have to scale the larger and farther set bars. This was going to be more difficult, I had to get back to the inner rings but did I have enough time before the tagger got to me? I had a split second to decide before I started moving towards the tagger hoping to get in deep enough and change directions right before impact. We met halfway and were nearly face to face. I used every ounce of strength to grab the left bar and swing my body out of the way of her hand. I wasn't going to make it. I waited to hear the beep that signified the end of the game but it didn't come. I kept moving to the left, deeper, just to make sure I was out of harms way. I turned to see how I'd managed to escape and saw 777 was all tangled up with the other tagger who looked really mad. The tagger had been chasing me for 20 minutes and 777 had saved me by pouncing on her. But how did 777 get there so fast? She came out of nowhere. The next thing I knew the other tagger had punched 777 in the face. The game terminated immediately. _

_That night I held ice to 777's face; she'd earned a black eye for saving me. I thanked her many times but told her it wasn't worth it because it was just a stupid game. Her face was serious when she replied that she had to because one day a real bad guy would be after me and who would watch my back if she didn't? _

_And she did watch my back until the day they took her away from me._

_ I remember telling her once that she was like my guardian; she only scrunched her nose and questioned "like an angel?"Yeah, she's been my angel ever since._

Well apparently my back is still my weakest area and she's exposed it again. "Here, keep the gun and grab my backpack, I've got a car 500 meters east. You'll see it there", I instruct her. "Meanwhile I'll carry him". I point to the sleeping boy. She looks at Artie for a second like she doesn't trust him with me but quickly starts towards the way I've pointed out. She may be able to read me like a book but I can read her just as well.

"Unless of course you want to carry him; I might hurt your boyfriend" – I emphasize the last word because I need to know where we stand. She looks undecided for a moment before she drops my stuff, picks up the boy, and trudges down the hill.

I of course get to the car first carrying the lighter stuff. I 'm beyond pissed, I know I don't have the right to be because we hadn't labeled anything the last time we saw each other; and that was 10 years ago. Of course she had forgotten me and moved on. It's what I should have done too, except that the last ten years I spent looking for her; not finding someone else to love. Last I recall, she said she loved me. I only got to return the words yesterday. But it looks like I'm too late. She puts the guy who I don't even bother calling Artie, into the back seat and she takes the rider's seat uninvited.

At least we are on schedule. It'll only be two more painful hours till we reach my hideout. Only two more hours of them asking each other how they are doing and using words like "baby" and "darling"; meanwhile no one has said a word to me except to ask "how much longer?"

While they are sweet talking I have time to think of my plan. I guess things will have to change now that she doesn't feel the same way towards me anymore. The original plan was to bring Brittany back to my hideout alone – without baggage – and call in the guy who helped remove my agent tracker. He would remove hers then after 2 weeks of recuperation I'd fly us out, maybe to Hawaii or Paris, somewhere romantic like that and we'd begin our happy life together the way I've always dreamed. I'll have completed my life's mission –finally having the only thing I've ever wanted and no one will take her away from me ever again. But now I guess there will be a very different ending. I'll still have her agent tracker removed but then she's free to leave. I'll even fly her and her crippled boyfriend out to wherever they want to go as a parting present of good will.

As for my life, well it'll be complete. I'll die in peace and with a broken heart.

I park in my garage; and lead the way into my two-floor town house; home sweet home for the last three months. It's right in the center of the city and not like a hide-out at all. I've learned, growing up, that hiding in plain sight is the best place to hide. I show them the house. It's not much because I'm hardly here but it's furnished and doesn't stink like a Chinese restaurant. There is a small kitchen that I never use, and a living room with a couch and a television which I've never touched. Upstairs there are two bedrooms. I live in the master bedroom which holds a queen size bed and a few shelves and cupboards. The other bedroom has two single beds and similar décor. The bathroom in the middle can be accessed from both sides.

"That's it I say", coming to the end of my grand tour. "I'd give up my bedroom since there are two of you but since you're together I guess you can share the room with one bed". Brittany just looks at me in defeat. If she expected better of me she isn't getting it because this is my best welcome. She puts the boy on the bed I used to sleep in and starts to walk towards me. I know she wants to tell me something but I don't want to hear it.

"I'm going to get some food" I tell her, "the stuff I got this morning won't be enough for your stay". Then I leave before she can reply, slamming the front door.

I don't want to go back yet, but I know I have to face her sometime. Better get used to it now. I've already spent more time than necessary buying groceries from the store on the corner. I stop to smoke, only one I tell myself but I don't feel ready to go home so I smoke another. By the end of the hour I've finished half the pack. I know I have to get home. Brittany will be pissed at me for smoking but somehow I don't care.

_Sneaky Saturday, we had it once a month. Training had progressed and now we spent less time physically fighting and more time learning how to outsmart the others. It was stressful for a very different reason. Every day we had classes on cracking codes, hacking systems, building fake images from numbers, assembling/dissembling all types of high technological equipment. So it was bound to happen, one of the kids had a break down and the teachers decided to allow one Saturday a month for relaxing activities. We could do anything as long as we didn't break the rules. That's when I came up with Sneaky Saturday. _

_ The usual 'relaxing activities' became boring; sometimes we'd play board games or watch a movie. But just because we were fourteen didn't mean we were kids. So I made up a game. Whoever could do something that broke the rules and got away with it would be a legend until the next Saturday off. I was the first to do something sneaky. I broke the 'no contact between males and females' rule and kissed a boy in the library where I had a few witnesses. I was the first legend. _

_One Sneaky Saturday, I was really out to impress everybody. It'd be the worst thing anybody had done yet. Friday afternoon, the day before Sneaky Saturday, was visitation day. I got a bag from my parents with a bunch of stuff. Most of it was nice, we were rich so I got a lot of good things, but the best thing I got was a box of cigarettes. I don't know how it got overlooked. I didn't even know how it got in the bag because my dad didn't know I smoked. But now I had them and I was going to show them off. On Saturday morning I bragged to everyone how I would earn diamond status legend after I did my sneaky thing. All day I heard about the sneaky things others were doing. One of the boys had put rotten garlic under the behavior monitor's pillow, everyone hated him. I thought that was pretty good but it still wouldn't beat mine. By late afternoon, before our free Saturday was up I told everyone I'd do my sneaky thing. A small crowd gathered around me and I already loved being the center of attention. To everyone's surprise I showed them my pack of cigars. I told them I'd smoke one but I had to do it in the bathroom. All this time my roommate 777 watched without saying anything. She never did anything sneaky, and even though she told me she didn't think I should do them either, she never stopped me. This time though she did. _

_"That's really bad" she said. "I know, that's why I'm totally going diamond with this". She didn't say anything else so I told ten people they could come with me and watch me smoke. 777 didn't volunteer. I was slightly disappointed because she was there every other time I did a sneaky thing, but never mind her now. I took my followers to the bathroom; the ventilation would ensure I didn't get caught. I went to open the bathroom door when a hand stopped me. 777 had followed after all. _

_"Look, I'll be her proof" she told my line of followers, her eyes pleaded for me to go along with whatever she had in mind. "Fine", I told everyone I'd go in there with 777 and smoke the thing with her as my witness. We entered the bathroom and I sat on the toilet, lid down, and took out a single cigar, I lit it and was about to take a drag. A hand grabbed mine before the cigar touched my lips. "Please don't", 777 took the cigar out of my hand and held it up studying it for a second before looking back at me. "Look, I'm going to be the coolest girl in this place if smoke it", I reason. "Besides it's not a big deal, I've done it before plenty of times". "But it could hurt you", she said. I rolled my eyes because this was going nowhere. "Please", she said one more time as I snatched it out of her hand. I hesitated to put it to my mouth before I decided to put it out. Let's go, I dragged her by the hand and walked out the bathroom door defeated. Behind me I heard her say "She totally did it." That day I achieved diamond legend status that meant I was the legend of all legends. _

The first thing Brittany says to me from the time I parked till now when I get home from grocery shopping is "you smoked."

"Hell yeah I did and guess what? I don't care if you don't think I should smoke because you have no right to say anything about how I live my life". My reply might be harsh but I can't control my emotions right now. Usually I can control them because Brittany has a calming effect on me, but right now she is the one causing me to explode.

"Hey what's going on out there," I hear the crippled say from the dining room. I didn't mean to shout at Brittany because in my right mind I would never do that, but here with my dream crumpled and no reason to continue living, I can't stop myself from becoming the monster I try hard to hide from Brittany. I can't stop myself now because I don't matter to her anymore and it hurts like hell.

"Foods in the fridge, I'll be upstairs in my room if you need me", I say with a voice of finality as I leave Brittany at the bottom of the stairs.

**Please drop a line if you have any suggestions or critiques, I would appreciate it very much. **


	3. You're not stupid, I am

**Thanks so much for the comments and suggestions everyone :) **

**I don't know if I will continue with the story. There's so much going on and School starts soon, I don't know if I'll have time to update often but I'll try to continue updating once a week.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

Chapter 3

I didn't sleep at all last night and I don't feel like sleeping now. I should probably start my daily exercise routine; running always clears my head. 4am, it's a little earlier than normal but I need to get out or here. I'm not supposed to think about anything especially not anything having to do with Brittany but it keeps coming back. She tried to talk to me again, but I refused to let her in. She said she'd wait outside my room all night until I unlocked my door even though she might be eaten by moths. Normally it would have worked, but not last night. I hope she didn't stay there for very long. This morning I found her sleeping on the downstairs couch and yeah, now I feel a little guilty.

Why does Brittany need to talk to me anyhow when it's obvious she's just going to try and let me down gently, doesn't she know I've already fallen off a cliff?

Now I'm standing in front of my favorite Chinese food stop, but they really have everything here. I'm greeted by the old Chinese lady who owns the place so I wave back at her and say hi. I've learned a bit of Mandarin since I've arrived, mostly from the old lady, and mostly slang. We first became friends over Baijui; it was the best cheap alcohol I ever had. If it weren't 6 in the morning and if I didn't have business to attend to, I'd get drunk right now.

She calls for me to take a seat in the back of the barely lit shop. Saan tan a, It sounds so Chinese when she says it like that, dragging out the first syllable saying the second with a high intonation and dropping low for the last syllable.

She's still busying around getting the business running for the day, so I help her take the creaky wooden chairs off the worn, splintered tables; all this time she murmurs plain nothings just like old Chinese woman do. I can't understand everything she says but I recognize the words "unhappy" and "bitch"; she's talking about me.

"Ma," as I call her, gets me a cold beer and tells me to sit my sad ass down and start talking. This is what I love about her, she talks crude and she listens. I feel I can talk to her for hours, even though she doesn't understand what I'm saying, but somehow she always knows what I'm talking about. Lately my Mandarin has gotten better, and I know words that aren't offensive. I taught her some English words too but she only picked up on the indecent ones. So we speak Chinglish and we comprehend each other better.

"Spill," she tells me in Chinese. So I tell her about Brittany, how I've loved her for all this time and how I'd spent the last ten years of my life searching for her only to find out she'd found someone else. I conclude by saying they are now living in my house, eating my food and ruining my life.

Ma was quiet the whole time. Pitiful, she said in her broken English, you have no life without Bree ta nee. It's so true; she was always my purpose for living, my only purpose. This, I remind myself, is not over because Brittany isn't safe yet. I can worry about myself later when she and the boy are gone. Maybe I can help Ma with the shop after my mission is complete, then I can be drunk all the time and not have to worry about anything.

I get up and tell Ma I'll come around later to pay for the booze. She waves me off and tells me to never mention paying for courtesy again.

I pull out my phone and dial a number as I made my way back around the block. It's 7 now so the love birds should probably be up. Good, because I'm ready to do business. The man on the other side of the line picks up and I keep the conversation short, telling him my address and to come ASAP. My friend Hiro is a Japanese scientist I befriended four years ago on my last mission for Millenicon. He was a top security government asset and I was an undercover CIA agent. The CIA was working illegally with Hiro's scientist group to infiltrate the Korean government's plans for nuclear development. They would do all the work while the US government funded them; the CIA was there to oversee the operation.

Come to think of it, it's funny how we got to know each other.

_It all started when he asked me out on a date. He's not bad looking, and he's actually cute with his auburn hair, fair skin, tall stature, nice physic and British accent. If I wasn't gay I'd totally hook up with a British-Korean dude. Anyways, in the end I went along with it because well, I never refuse a free dinner. Somewhere between indulging myself in my favorite dish, sushi, and waking up with a bad hangover the next morning I'd apparently spilled my secret. Hiro wasn't mad at all considering I kind of used him for a free meal. _

"_So a blond haired girl huh?" Hiro greeted me the next morning. I knew I'd let my tongue loose last night but I don't know how much I'd told him about Brittany. "I can help you", Hiro offered, "The operation would be fairly simple". It almost sounded too good. "Wait, you can remove this shit from my wrist?" I was pleasantly surprised he was even trying to help me considering he could turn me in as a potential rebel to the US government after learning about my plans. _

Long story short, when the mission was over and I returned to my normal life of waiting between missions; Hiro made good on his offer. In exchange he asked me to find his girlfriend who had gone missing for 6 months. "Her name is Charlie, funny it doesn't suit her because she's the most petite, feminine thing to ever live," Hiro described. By the way he talked Hiro believed she was still alive somewhere in the world. And he was right, it didn't take long for me to find 'Charlie' once he'd given me a picture of her. I promptly scanned it on the system and it hooked me up with her address.

I never got back to Hiro because to me the nature of his relationship with her was quite clear - it was the same kind of relationships all us agents are assigned to - conditional and temporal. Besides, I couldn't tell him that 'Charlie' was now the secretary of the President of America. I sometimes think about Quinn Fabray, the actual Charlie. I used to call her the devil because her code number was 666, how suiting. We were enemies until we became sort of friends, and then the agency had to send us all home. Quinn was the other person besides Brittany who I ever thought about. I wonder if all the years of her evil plans enacted on me were finally helping her survive the dangerous life she now lived.

It's now or never. I open the front door of my town house and hope I can slip upstairs unnoticed cus' I need a shower to clean off and cool down before I face Brittany. No such luck. The moment I open the door I'm being dragged up the stairs by a very angry Brittany. Well if we're going to fight at least it's not in front of the boy because I might go all Lima Heights on him if he tries to get a word in.

She's got a tight grip of my wrist as I trip up the thin stairway with broken railings. I'm telling her to slow down cus' we might both slip and fall all the way back to the first floor but she keeps stomping up the steps and keeps her death grip until we've made it into my room. Brittany slams my door shut and jerks my arm to hold me up against the wood. I can see steam coming out of her ears and feel fire in her breath as she leans in closer to my face. For a second I think she might kiss me out of pure sexual frustration because I hope I still have that effect on her, but Brittany just says in a voice that is filled with rage "why are you doing this?" Her teeth are gritted and she's trying to control her voice, "you know what your problem has always been?" she continues, "You never listen."

The flames in her eyes and the sound of her voice are meant to scare me but it's only turning me on - incredibly. I control my thoughts and reply without emotion, "Whatever you need to tell me say it now, because I might not have the patience to hear it later". The door bell rings after a moment of silence and it doesn't look like Brittany will ever find the right words. I tell her time is up and that I need to see who is outside the house before her boyfriend stupidly opens the door. I take the first step down the stairs when Brittany declares in a strong tone, "He's not my boyfriend, he's not you." I reflect on that as I rush to the door and thank God the boy didn't try to open it.

I look through the window to the front street and see that it's who I'm expecting. I unlock the door and I am immediately engulfed in a strangling hug. "Yeah, it's nice to see you too" I tell Hiro who has no intention of letting me go. I can't really breathe so I push him off me a little too violently; Brittany chooses this moment to appear and jumps between us to defend me. She looks concerned and asks if I'm hurt, she also asks if I know the guy who tried to strangle me because he's smirking at me as if he knows one of my secrets or something. I laugh and introduce them. I tell Brittany that the 'strangler' is Hiro and that he's a long time friend. Hiro doesn't wait for me to introduce Brittany; he takes her hand and kisses it chivalrously, while sending me a wink. "This is the blond you've been after?" Hiro states more than questions. I nod and avoid Brittany's confused stare because I hadn't mentioned a word to her about my quest. I was going to tell her; really, I had this whole speech planned out about how much I've missed her and how happy I was to find her again after all my years of searching. But since I've been shutting her out, I haven't had the chance to say it.

I break the uncomfortable silence by telling Brittany Hiro is going to remove her agent tracker. I give him directions to the master bedroom so he can set up his equipment while I tell Brittany that Hiro is an expert at extracting skin embedded chips and that he took mine out without any problems. She looks into my eyes; her turquoise ones pierce mine and it gives me shivers. Finally she nods and says ok to the operation because she takes my word for it. I'm thankful she still trusts me like she did when we were kids. I'm glad that hasn't changed.

_I was on my computer feeling pretty bored. The last hour had just been spent hacking the message account of one 666. She was pretty much my only rival here, always trying to be better than me. We were always fighting and playing pranks on each other. Yesterday she'd rewired my treadmill so that all the speed levels were screwed, when I got on and set it to level three I was not expecting it to run at level 6; Of course I slipped and made a huge fool of myself. 666 just walked out and said it was payback for putting cereal on her seat and making her unknowingly sit on it. That by the way wasn't even my fault, well not directly, it was 777's bowl of fruit loops - anyone with eyes could see that it had a bright unicorn sticker stuck on it. The only thing I did was call 777 over to watch two boys wrestle, so she must have unconsciously put her bowl down on 666's seat before skipping over to watch the action. The devil did the rest – 666 just sat on the cereal! Naturally she blamed me because there was no fun in getting back at 777 who would probably just cry and say it's not nice to tease people; anyhow, 666 was always looking for an excuse to pick a fight me. _

_Well no one ever tops me in badassness, not even the devil. I smirked at my computer screen one last time before shutting it off. Tomorrow, everyone would be reading the secret love letters 666 had been writing to 360, a boy with a Mohawk cut and a bad attitude. Who knew those two could be so mushy? I didn't, till I hacked 666's account and read those God awful sugary messages – tomorrow everyone would know what softies those two were. Revenge felt pretty good especially when hitting two birds with one stone, I was doing this not only for me but for 777 too who has been the target of 360's devious harassment since like forever. _

_Speaking of 777, I noticed she was being kind of quiet for her usual self. I went to sit next to her on her bed where she'd been sitting in the same position for the past hour. We've been roommates for two months now and I know when something is bothering her; she tends to get quiet and scrunch up her face like she's thinking really hard. Currently, she has that face but also a little bit of a sadness in her eyes. I asked her if she wanted to talk about anything because her bummer face was sucking all the energy out of the room. It worked, she broke into a small effortless smile the way she does when I try to talk like her. She told me it's nothing and that I'll probably agree with 'them'. I wonder who 'them' is and what they've been saying. I told her that whoever they are, they're probably just jealous that she's so pretty and that everyone likes her, so whatever they said doesn't matter. 777 shook her head;" it does matter", she said, "because it's true – I'm stupid and I can't be as smart as them like. Sometimes I say things and they look at me like I have curly rainbow hair or something". _

"_Why would anyone say that?" I blurted out. "Look just because you're special and different and not boring and stuck up like everyone else it doesn't mean you're stupid. You're actually much smarter than them", I said sincerely. "No one else thinks that", 777 stated, "at lunch I was telling everyone how much fun our code cracking lesson today was because every time I got the code wrong the ninja girl would land in a pool or do flips to get away from the explosion. I didn't tell them, but I only figured that out when I was at the last gate and mistyped the code, the girl got buzzed and started doing a funny dance. After that I went back through all the gates to see what would happen to the ninja if I typed them all wrong. Then time ran out and I didn't finish the mission and failed, but I was having so much fun I just forgot. They said I was stupid and they couldn't believe I got the code wrong at every gate". She finished her story and crossed her arms with a huff._

_I didn't know how to change her mind about herself because it seemed like their words had affected her a lot. "You'll just have to prove them wrong" I told 777. "How"? She asked. "Tomorrow we have a big test", I reminded her, "and if you ace that no one will call you stupid again. And for the record, I don't think you having fun with the game was stupid at all, I wish I had that much fun", I added. _

_As an afterthought I asked how she'd gotten all the codes correct to the last gate. She just answered that the code was a sequence and it was easy. "The first code they gave us was fdB57, __**f**__ish – __**d**__uck – me, __**B**__rittany – you, __**5**__ and me, __**7**__ again. Then I just switched them up, like after that I made YOU bring the DUCK to ME and then I fed the FISH to the duck see? 5d7Bf. All 8 gates used the same letters and numbers just in different orders."_

_It was not the answer I expected at all but it made sense. "You are a genius", I told her as I got into bed and the lights went out at the schedule time. "You think so?" She asked quietly like she wanted to believe it but couldn't. "I know so", I answered back with confidence. _

"_Hey why were you number 7 and also the capital B?" I said as I started drifting off to sleep with her theory on my mind. "Because my name is Brittany silly", she replied but quickly covered, "I'm not supposed to tell you that, I'm so st-"." Don't think about saying it", I halted her before it came out of her mouth. There was a short silence before I said," hey Brittany are you still awake?" "Mhmm", she moaned quietly. _

"_I'm Santana", I whispered back into the darkness hoping she could hear me, "don't worry – it can be our little secret". With that I fell asleep. _

_The next morning I woke up to find that my roommate was already up and dressed, I must have overslept. "Sorry I didn't wake you Santana, I know how you hate the mornings", she said as she prepared to escape. It was true, I hated waking up, but that's not what I was focusing on right now. "Wait, how do you know my name? Not that I care if you do cus' that rule of not letting anyone know your real name is dumb anyways". "You told me last night we could make it our secret", she said slowly unsure of how my reaction would be. I tried to remember last night, and then it shot through my head. _

"_Brittany wait", I said out loud testing her name on my tongue as I tried to stop her from leaving the room. It had the effect I wanted; she removed her hand from the door knob and turned around. She looked at me expectantly. "Ummm, I said not sure of what to say next. I thought we could properly get to know each other", I decided. "I'm Santana Lopez", I tumbled out of my sheets with my hand outstretched. 777 just laughed at my efforts and took my hand, shaking it gently; "I'm Brittany S. Pierce – not the famous one, lots of people get us mixed up when I introduce myself'. I chuckled good naturedly and gave her hand a final squeeze. "Well, Miss Pierce I think I should get dressed, see you in the cafeteria – oh and tell me if you get any news on the devil". I winked before running into the bathroom. _

_There was news indeed. As I grabbed my breakfast Brittany jogged up to me excitedly. "Hey", she said, "did you know that 360 has a thing for 666? Maybe now he'll stop trying to get me to make out with him." I hope he gets the hint, I replied with a smirk. The letters had gone out just as planned, mission accomplished. I walked with Brittany to our table and looked over at 666 who was being questioned by all her little followers. She caught my eye and glared daggers at me, a sweet faux smile played on my face as I mouthed in return, paybacks a bitch. _

_The loud speaker announced the end of breakfast and instructed everyone to make their way to class; it wished good luck to those who had their big test today. I made eye contact with Brittany and we said at the same time, "God has spoken". It was our thing; we said it after every announcement. It all started when Brittany confessed to me she thought it was the voice of God; of course I corrected her but we kept referring to it as God anyways as our own inside joke. _

"_Hey Brittany, are you ready?" I whispered linking my pinky with hers. _

"_Did you come up with a new plan? Because I don't remember it, sorry", she replied a little confused. _

"_No," I said wondering why she thought that. Then I realized it was because I whispered and I only do that when I have some nasty plan up my sleeve I don't want anyone else knowing about. "Remember our secret? We don't want anyone to know our names", I enlightened Brittany, and so we have to keep quiet. I leave out the part about getting kicked out as a consequence for breaking the rules. She understands and says "ok Santana", in a low voice. _

_We got to the classroom lined with endless rows of the world's best computers. Our test was in here today instead of our usual classroom. Brittany and I got seats next to each other on the left edge. While waiting for everyone else to take their seats I counted my competition; "98 losers" I whispered audibly. "Who"? Brittany asked looking clueless to what I meant. "Everyone else besides us", I replied, "We're gonna be the firsts to crack the code". Brittany nodded in response but asked how we could both be first. I struggled to answer that; since when had I lump us together as one package? I didn't even think about it until now. "Because, we're a team so whichever one of us wins means we both win together – silly", I quoted her at the end. _

"_Quiet up now". The teacher, Mr. Hides who everyone called Mr. Hideous behind his back, ordered us with his scratchy voice. "You all have one hour to complete the mission which is to make it out of the maze alive", he continued to instruct. "There will be enemies so be careful and you will have to hack 3 codes before you get to the finish line, is everything clear?" He didn't wait for a response before spinning around and leaving the room with a final, "log in and run." I typed in my password as fast as I could. An intricate maze appeared on screen, one made up of Cheese. Well mouse, I said to my player, let's get you home free._

_I kept checking my on screen timer, 15 minutes had gone by and I was already one quarter of the way to finishing the game. Suddenly there was a small pinging sound that notified someone when they completed the mission. Since I heard it too, it had to be someone sitting near me. The giant green check mark on the plasma wall screen confirmed that indeed someone had made it to the finish line. I didn't waste any time finding out who it was because I was determined to at least come in second, although I did glance at Brittany who seemed to be idly running her fingers over the direction keys. _

_Exactly on the 20 minute mark I heard the ping from my computer and another green check mark appeared. I gave myself a proverbial pat on the back for completing the mission in a third of the time; I'd gotten through with only a few ant bites and two water slips. I got up to leave seeing as I was done but Brittany was still there staring at her screen with look of boredom. We weren't supposed to talk in the test room or we'd be disqualified immediately so I asked Brittany in a whisper if she was nearly done. She raised her eyebrow and said she'd been waiting for me to finish this whole time. _

_We walked out of the room quietly, and I hugged her. Before I could say how proud I was of her and how I totally knew she was going to be one of the firsts to finish, we were interrupted by the head of the Database Decrypting Department; it's not every day we get the honors of meeting these type of guys. "Good job", he announced more to Brittany than to me, "you two are the fastest we've had so far". "And you", he looked directly at Brittany; "set a new record". He winked at her before he told us our names would be posted on the announcement board with the concurring top ten._

"_I told you so", I said to Brittany hugging her from behind as she studied the board after dinner. She clutched my hands over her stomach and held them there for a minute taking in the reality that she'd just proved herself able. Brittany spun around in my arms and squeezed me tight. "Thanks for believing in me", she whispered in my ear. "Don't thank me", I pulled away so I could look her in the eyes and tell her "You believed me when I said you weren't stupid and you believed in yourself, that's the why you're better than everyone else". _

"_Now tell me your secret, I prompted her as we walked back to our room", I knew there was a good story coming. "I don't think the mouse was supposed to eat the cheese but I thought he'd be hungry running through the maze so I let him eat first". Brittany wasn't clarifying anything for me at all. "That's really sweet Brittany", I said confused, "but how did that help you get to the end faster? Did the cheese give him super powers or something? uh how did you know the cheese could even be eaten?" "Umm those are a lot of questions", Brittany said and I could tell she was trying to process them. "Well for one", she started, "I didn't know the mouse could eat the cheese but I made him go to the it and I saw numbers and you know how numbers always means a code so I played with the numbers a little bit and sometimes the numbers would disappear. The secret is if you pair them correctly they get delimonated". "You mean eliminated right?" I interjected although I didn't want to interrupt her story. "Yeah, so anyways after a few tries the wall disappeared and there was a hole that my mouse totally fit in. So I went to the next wall and the numbers disappeared in the same sequence; my mouse ate a straight path to victory," she said proudly. "I think he was really full after eating all that cheese, I know I would", Brittany finished with a smile. _

_I chuckled; never in a million years would I have thought of that. "You're sneaky you know? In a good way", I said while punching her shoulder playfully. _

"_Not like you", she replied taking off for our room and leaving me eating her dust. I shook my head; if only that girl knew how smart she really was._


	4. The kiss that made us

Chapter 4, part 1

I hold Brittany's hand, it's cold; she hates surgeries and doctors scare her. Although she knows Hiro is not a doctor and the operation will be quick, she takes one look at his tools and tears out the door. Hiro and I share a look but he returns to checking that his set-up is complete and equipment is oiled while I follow Brittany's path to the bathroom. I take a seat next to her on the edge of the tub and rub her back softly. Distress is evident on her face; she looks sickly and just about ready to dry heave or something equally as awful.

"Do you trust me?" I ask. Brittany remains silent, breathing in and out at an uneven pace. "Brittany", I say softly needing her attention. Again, there is no response only the continuous rhythm of her breath and the sound of her pounding heart. I bring my hand to cup her cheek, running my thumb across her smooth skin – paler than usual; it's soft and so smooth like she hadn't aged a day. With my hand I turn her head to face me and I lower my determined eyes to lock with her frightful ones. Staring into my eyes calms her down; it takes my breath away. I convey all my strength and will into our gaze, we don't need words, and I know she can feel everything. "Promise me you'll hold my hand and not let go till it's over", her request comes out in a whimper. I nod resolutely, if I am to be her anchor preventing her from losing herself to the ghosts of fear then so be it. Five minutes later Brittany is lying in bed unfeeling, her grip on my hand slack but I hold onto her as if she may die if I let go.

Hiro is fast and precise with his work. His competence occasionally distracts me from analyzing Brittany's emotionless face; there is not a crease on her forehead. I know I don't need to worry because Brittany is in good hands, but when do I ever not worry about her? I tell Hiro his work must be done with 101% accuracy or I will kill him. Hiro chuckles and jokes that I didn't even care this much when he worked on me. I glare at him and he acknowledges that I am serious.

When the most precarious part of the operation is done and Brittany's tracker is crushed under my foot for good, Hiro takes a break from fussing over Brittany. He sits beside me and lets out a sigh of relief. He says my constant scrutiny made him nervous. I manage a smile knowing the worst is over. The house is quiet, a little too quiet for my liking. I ask Hiro to check on the boy downstairs. Artie wanted to be with Brittany during the operation but I told him kindly it wasn't an appropriate time. Artie sulked back into his seat in the kitchen. Maybe my tone of delivery was too harsh but it was a very reasonable and perfectly logical answer, I'm sure he understood.

Hiro comes back and informs me the boy is up to no trouble, but that he wants to see Brittany and I try to curb my annoyance of his persistence. Silence settles again for a short moment till Hiro brings up the subject we never discussed. He asks if I ever found Charlie. I don't have an immediate answer, I don't want to lie but the truth will break his heart. "Ummmm I did get a hold of some information", I remain elusive while thinking of the best way to let him down gently. Hiro nods his head, waiting for the vital conclusion. I find no way of softening the reality for him. "Charlie is an agent Hiro", I spell out clear as day," and she was using you to get whatever she was after; I'm sorry". Hiro shakes his head in disbelief; he tries to tell me it's not possible, that what happened between them was real. He wants me to tell him I'm joking, but I can't, and he reads it in my eyes. I grip his shoulder with my free hand and squeeze, sympathizing with him. Hiro gets up and tells me Brittany will wake up in less than an hour and says he'll be back to check on her tomorrow. I offer him my bed for the night but he turns me down. He says he needs solitude, I understand because that's what I needed when Brittany almost broke my heart.

I've been holding Brittany's hand for almost two hours now but I never want to let go; I'll never be able to get over the security I feel when my hand is cradled in hers. I watch her sleep peacefully and I appraise her with my eyes; she's even more gorgeous and beautiful than before, now that she's grown into her body. I move from the bedside chair to sit on the bed. I love being close to Brittany, she does things to me that no one else has or ever can. I can't be near her without touching her; I can't look at her without my heart speeding erratically. I can't breathe the air next to her without wanting to breathe in every scent that is a part of her, from her hair to her neck and other places.

Right now I can't watch her sleep without shedding a tear because finally Brittany is here with me, holding my hand - safe. I wipe the tears out of my eyes; I don't want anything restricting my view. I wish Brittany would wake up because I need to see those irresistible blue eyes; the ones I can't stand to look into without getting forever lost. I move my gaze to her lips, slightly chapped but still so appealing. I want to kiss her, want to taste her lips and see if they're still watermelon flavored or if Brittany has traded her old Lip Chap for another more exotic one. I want to feel the spark and the tingles I get every time her lips touch mine, the way it felt the very first time I kissed Brittany.

_Word was getting around about my record; polls had me leading the devil by three and everyone else by who knows how many. I didn't know when I started keeping track or when it had become a game but now I was out to kiss as many boys as I could to keep my winning streak. It's not that I even liked kissing boys, they were rough and tried too hard it wasn't even pleasurable. Sure the first time I kissed a boy was when I started sneaky Saturday and I thought it felt ok, not bad but not how I expected. After that if a boy was good looking enough and flirted with me, I usually gave him a try. My official record was 12 and counting. _

_Brittany never understood why I wanted to kiss boys when I would just come back and tell her how terrible, awkward, or sensation-less it felt. She didn't get that after I started kissing boys, so did 666 then other girls did too and now I had to keep up my reputation. I didn't care that everyone was calling me a slut because I considered myself a winner and I wasn't about to give up my crown. Recently, the devil had been gaining ground and closing the gap, I could feel she was becoming more popular than me. _

_One evening there was a rumor that the devil had finally caught up with me. It turned out to be true. I knew I had to do something to get ahead - to keep on top, so I stormed into the computer room; my eyes fell on 666. She was standing there flirting with some dude. What better way to stay ahead and to warn 666 not to mess with me than steal her thunder. I began a steady pace towards the two and slipped between them before they knew what was happening, I reached to pull the tall boy into a scorching smooch but he grasped the situation in time and retracted with a jerk. I lost my composure and fell to the floor. "What are you doing?" The boy shouted, he was clearly overreacting and now had every agent's attention on us. The room went silent as I picked myself off the floor and straightened my top. Without warning there was a sharp sting on my cheek, I lost balance and spun to my left. I looked at my attacker and saw her hand raised in the air for another blow. I deflected that one with my upper right arm and knocked the wind out of the devil with one left upper cut. The boy instantly dropped to kneel by her as she tried to recover from the blow. "Don't you think I will ever kiss you worthless bitch", he spat at me. I told him to go to hell because the devil he adored wasn't much worse than me, and then I marched back to my room with a red cheek and a ripped ego. _

_Brittany was just leaving the room when I got there, but when she saw the marks on my face and the tears threatening to spill from my eyes, she grabbed my hand and silently lead me into our room. _

_Brittany sat me on the bed and ran to get a cloth in the bathroom. She returned shortly and started caressing my cheek with the damp cloth, concentrating on putting only the slightest pressure on the sensitive skin. Her eyes kept darting to mine never asking but always wondering. Brittany knew me well enough to not push for answers till I was ready to give them. _

_Brittany removed the cloth from my cheek to get a good look at the red slashes, my dark skin probably camouflaged most of it because she observed so closely her nose was practically poking my cheek. Before I knew it Brittany was putting soft, deliberate pecks on the marked flesh, it felt good and miraculously the sting was fading with each kiss. I shifted a little bit and Brittany stopped. Now that the moment was ruined I awkwardly asked her what that was for. Brittany put on her mega watt smile and said she learnt from her mom, that when someone gets hurt on the outside we can always kiss it away, but when someone hurts on the inside it takes a lot of things to help them feel better. "I know you're hurting on both sides, Santana, and I want to help you feel better." Brittany said then wrapped her arms around my neck and cradled me, rocking back and forth. She let go and said that's what they always do in movies. I let out a small laugh; I was feeling better already. _

"_So you want to talk about it?" She asked shyly. When I didn't answer right away she assumed the opposite. "You don't have to of course if you don't want to, or if you want to be by yourself I can leave. Mom says sometimes people need space and our room isn't so big so I'll go wait in the bathroom or in the cafeteria", she was blabbering now, "- or on the roof, is there a roof here, because I've never been there? Actually I'll just go now", she hopped off my bed, but before she could go anywhere I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down. I tugged harder than I meant to and Brittany ended up sprawled on my bed sort of lopsided. She looked at me questioningly. _

"_Ummm, I'm sorry can you please stay? I need someone to talk to", the words rushed out of my mouth. Brittany smiled and righted herself into a sitting position, nodding for me to begin. I told her everything that had happened and she listened intently. I finished and looked at her for some sort of reaction." Oh you're done the story"; she seemed to wake up from a slight daze. "Yeah that's it, exciting huh". Brittany shrugged her shoulders. "You shouldn't have stolen her guy", she reprimanded, "but she shouldn't have slapped you because you didn't really kiss him; and he shouldn't have been so mean to you even though you punched her because she hit you on the cheek first and the good book says actually she's supposed to let you hit her on the cheek too, I think". _

"_You're adorable, you know that? "I told her, even though she got that whole turn the other cheek thing wrong – I know cus' I was forced to read the Bible at home._

"_I'm being serious here", Brittany huffed. "So, I know your cheek must have hurt but I know it wouldn't make you cry, are you gonna tell me about your inside hurt?" _

_I responded with a smirk, "First of all Brittany, I wasn't going to cry." Brittany blew a puff of air through her pursed lips, she knew I was just denying it." Second, I have no great pain on the 'inside'. I might have been a little pissed that the guy couldn't go along with it and just let me kiss him, and then none of this would have happened. But I'm fine now". _

"_So you got mad because you didn't get a kiss", Brittany summarized. "Pretty much", I shrugged. "Well why didn't you tell me in the beginning so I could make you happy again?" I raised a perfect eyebrow, not sure what Brittany meant by that. "Close your eyes," Brittany demanded. I did as she said. I took a deep breath and waited for something to happen; I kept waiting, why was I even closing my eyes? This is stupid I thought. As I was about to crack open my eyelids I felt a pair of lips gently pressed against mine. Stunned, I opened my eyes to see Brittany up against my face kissing me. We stayed like that for a minute before Brittany pulled back and opened her eyes. I remained the same, completely shocked. I tried to say something." Did I do something wrong?" Brittany began to worry." I thought you wanted a kiss so I kissed you". Still no words were finding their way out. Brittany was clearly frustrated now, "I'm sorry if you didn't like it. Was I a bad kisser?" As if she was having a moment of realization she continued," I'm a super bad kisser aren't I? I've never kissed someone like that before, I…." Brittany got up to leave out of embarrassment." I'm so sorry", she said as she rushed for the door. _

_Thank God I finally woke up out of my trance; I flew after her, "wait!" Brittany didn't listen, she gripped the handle and flung the door open but I got there before she could step forward and slammed it shut. Now Brittany was trapped between the door and me. She turned around to face me beet red, I was sort of panting from the sudden sprint. _

_I caught my breath for a few moments. Brittany looked everywhere but directly in front of her. Brittany, I tried to get her attention but she refused to look at me. Brittany look at me, I demanded. She slowly lowered her gaze to meet mine. We stood there staring at each other for a while; I'd never looked into her eyes like this before and I never realized how clear blue they were. Brittany bit her lip waiting for me to do or say something. "You're not a bad kisser Brittany", I started, "I mean I don't know if you're a bad kisser or not because I was kind of shocked so I couldn't judge, I'd only be able to ascertain your skills if we were to kiss again when I'm not having a brain freeze". It was Brittany's turn to raise an eyebrow. My mind caught up with my words and I realized what I had just said. _

"_Not that I'm going to kiss you or anything," I tried to explain, "I mean I was just saying that if you want to know if you're a good kisser we'd have to kiss again because" – I stopped talking. I was saying the same thing all over again, why can't I think properly right now, what the hell is wrong with me? _

"_Show me how it's done than", Brittany spoke almost inaudibly. Wha..What? "Kiss me". She was giving me a look that I'd never seen before, her eyes flickered to my lips and back up. _

_Without thinking I licked my lips, realizing I wanted it just as badly as she did. Slowly I leaned forward, never taking my eyes off hers. My lips grazed Brittany's before I went in all the way and captured her moist lips in a soft kiss, sucking lightly on her bottom lip. She didn't look away; her eyes communicated everything she felt. I moved to her upper lip and sucked it, pressing harder. Brittany's soft moan turned me on even more. I continued to kiss her like I had never kissed anyone before; it felt so right the way my lips moved seamlessly against hers. Without warning she started to kiss me back, creating suction between our open mouths. She took my breath away. Kissing Brittany felt amazing, like nothing I had ever felt before._

_I closed my eyes savoring the feeling and the taste of her lips. We broke apart for a few seconds to steady ourselves and take in more oxygen, during which I tried to cope with the new emotions I was feeling. I felt Brittany carefully wrap her arms around my neck and pulling me in to her. I stepped closer so that I was pressing my whole body against Brittany and placed my hands on her hips finding a small sliver of warm skin where her top had ridden up. From her unwavering gaze I could tell she wanted more, I couldn't contain my desire either, so we both leaned in and locked lips again. It was like magic, the way she moved her them against mine. We found a steady pace, the longer we kissed the more I could feel a sensation within my stomach, like a firecracker that wouldn't stop prickling. It moved downward shooting straight to my core. _

_It was becoming too much for me, I felt like my body would explode from the sensation. Breaking the kiss, I stepped back to give Brittany and myself some space to breathe. I daringly looked into her eyes again. I only needed a small glimpse to gauge if maybe she was feeling the same way I was. Looking in her gemstone eyes was a huge mistake, they transfixed me immediately and I couldn't look away, it was the best mistake I made in my life. The emotions in her eyes mirrored mine, they were clouded with desire and passion and something else; something like love. All I know is that I've never felt this way with anyone else. I didn't believe in love at first sight and the whole soul mates garbage, yet I could no longer deny the feelings I got from being close to Brittany every day. I never want to leave her side even for a moment. Without knowing I had become so protective of her I would kill anyone who dared hurt her physically or with their words. I didn't want to admit it, not to Brittany and not to myself, but I knew that kissing Brittany was the final affirmation of my greatest denial; I was in love with her. _

_That night we wished each other goodnight with concealed smiles. Sleep didn't come easy because my mind kept flipping through the scenarios that could come as a consequence to what we did. In the morning there would be questions and Brittany wouldn't be satisfied without an answer, she always got her way like that. Except I didn't have an answer for her, I couldn't tell her I loved her because I wasn't sure; I didn't know what love was or if this was what it felt like. _

_But if the amazing feeling I get when I'm with Brittany is love, I don't want to lose the possibility of having it. In the morning I will tell her. _


	5. Perfect

Chapter 4 part 2

The memory is still vivid in my mind and being this close to Brittany is making it feel more real. I don't know when I decide to act on my feelings but now I can feel her breath against mine. If I lean in just a fraction closer I can feel her lips. One touch is all I need to relive the moment that changed my life.

Brittany is intoxicating; I'm powerless against the emotions that overwhelm my entire being when she has me like this, needing her. What I'm about to do, it defies all logic. Brittany is not even awake; it will be like making a move without her consent. We're barely on talking terms and I'm being too bold, too forward, but right now I'm as good as gone because my head can't control my heart anymore. I close the remaining distance, shut my eyes, and place my lips on Brittany's. It's enough for now, letting my lips touch hers; connecting myself to her in the only way I know how at the moment. I feel so alive from the touch. I don't move; just let myself feel everything I have always felt for her as we breathe simultaneously.

There's movement and I know it isn't me. Quickly I open my eyes and I see the most beautiful color of blue there is in this world. Reality rushes at me 100 miles per second and I jolt from my place on the bed to the opposite side of the room. Brittany sits up and squints at the afternoon sunlight streaming through the window. From where I stand she's a silhouette bathed in golden glory, her figure so chiseled in contrast to the light that I don't need to imagine the contour of her body. She's beautiful and breath-taking and I'm trying to keep my lungs working, but it's getting harder because Brittany is walking towards me. With one final deep breath I concentrate on what I will say when she asks me about what almost happened. Brittany takes the last step and she's leaning her forehead against mine. I forget everything and tilt my head a little like I'm going kiss her because that's all I can think about right now. But I don't. I don't even know what we're doing or if it should be happening. We stand there doing nothing until Brittany finally asks me the question, but it's not the one I was preparing to answer. Why didn't you kiss me? I watched you lean in and stall, but you didn't do it. It's a simple question and I give her a simple answer. Because I didn't know if you wanted me to or if you even want me anymore. She doesn't answer but uses her fingers to play with some small strands of my hair. She brings her hands up and cups my cheeks, holding me in place. Then she kisses me right on the lips; it's soft but the effect is electrifying. I shake uncontrollably from head to toe. A shiver rockets through me and I hold on to Brittany with all the strength I have. She licks my lips suggestively and I can't stop my mouth from opening, letting her tongue take every path within that she desires. Brittany retraces every part of my mouth like she has it memorized, rediscovering places no else has ever found. Occasionally her tongue slides over and around mine and it sends me into a whole new level of ecstasy. At this point I risk going into a proverbial and literal coma if we don't come up for air.

When we both stop kissing to refill our lungs I shift my gaze from her swollen red lips to her captivating eyes. "I hope it's clear now what I want", Brittany says. "It's the same thing I've wanted ever since our first kiss even after you said it was meaningless; I want you". It's the last straw and I breakdown and cry.

Brittany is gentle as she wipes away my tears and the insecurities I've felt since she's been back in my life.

"I regret it you know", my voice is cracked from crying. "I never did say those words back to you and I'm so sorry. Brittany, every time you asked me about my feelings for you and I brushed them off, I knew it hurt you but you have to know it hurt me too. It must have been so hard for you to know I was lying, yet never being able to hear the truth that we both knew. I can't imagine how you put up with me and how you can still love me".

Brittany is shaking her head and is about to interrupt but I need to get it all out before I break down again. "Brittany", I say with all the strength I have left, "I had to find you because I need to say what I should have said a long time ago".

Pure resolution runs through my veins as I put my heart out on the line. "Brittany I love you, and I was in love with you from the first day I met you when I made you cry in the bathroom, I just didn't know it then. That night we kissed, that was when I realized the feelings I had for you and I should have let you know. One day I hope you will forgive me for all the hurt I caused you, and I'm just so sorry".

I can't stop the tears anymore and I let them run because there is no need to wipe away my remorse.

"I love you too, I never stopped loving you." Brittany whispers and rubs my back. It's comforting to be in her arms like this, and it feels right like I know this is where I belong.

I'm happy and exhausted; I want this moment to last forever. If I could I'd take a picture of it and frame it, because this moment is so worth remembering.

We break apart from our hug and Brittany has the goofiest smile plastered on her face. I'm just happy she's smiling that big because of me. There's still something on my mind though that's bothering me.

"Brittany, when are you going to tell Artie about this?" I don't say "us" because there are still some things to do before we reach that point. "Soon", Brittany responds.

The rest of the day we spend holding hands in secret. I don't know when Brittany is going to tell Artie he's been used the whole time; I understand why Brittany hasn't done so already. She will crush him with the news and I'm a little sorry for the boy.

Brittany and I make lunch for the three of us even though we both lack culinary skills. Some of the pancakes are burnt on the edges, there isn't one perfect circle to be found and they're a tad too salty because I put in the salt after Brittany already did. At least I have plenty of jam. We giggle and touch each other the whole time we create our banquet. If we keep up at this rate, Artie will already know everything before we get to explain. I don't tell Brittany to tone it down because I'm just too damn happy and can't be bothered to care about Arties feelings even though him finding out on his own would defeat Brittany's whole waiting purpose.

The three of us sit down for our first civil meal; as in there is real food on a set table and I'm not giving Artie death glares. We talk about random things, although I don't say much and Brittany is mostly talking to Artie and calling him baby, but it doesn't bother me as much because her hand is wrapped around mine under the table. Every few minutes she sends me a subtle smile and I know she's just doing her job like a pro when she pretends to blush at his sweet talk.

There's not much to do in my little house which I don't plan on staying in for much longer. I haven't even changed it much because I hardly live here. Brittany says she wants to go outside for a bit so I suggest we go to the Chinese joint for afternoon coffee. I lead the way as Brittany carries Artie, and we arrive at the joint taking seats in the back for safety's sake. Brittany wipes her brow and plops down with her remaining energy; I make a mental promise to get Artie a wheelchair before we leave.

Ma comes and introduces herself in her funny English that makes Brittany laugh, and I giggle when Brittany unexpectedly jumps up to embrace Ma's withering frame. Artie introduces himself and Ma nods in response, still too shocked for words at Brittany's action. I give my usual order but Ma waves me off and says "I know efferyting", then she leans in and whispers discreetly, "dat girl kill you wit happy," running her index finger across her neck in a slit throat motion. "Wo Tong Yi", I agree with her.

We spend an hour at the shop sampling the variety of tea Ma introduces to us. Artie and Ma hit it off quite well talking about the individual brews. I excuse myself and Brittany to go for a walk as the weather is just divine. Our hands find each other as we walk down the busy street looking at the stores. Brittany is excited about practically everything; and I'm surprised she hasn't seen all this after living in Beijing for a whole year. We stop by a roadside vendor and I buy Brittany my favorite snack, Youtiao, which are Chinese fried bread sticks. They are salty and delicious. They come attached in pairs so we rip them in two and share half each.

Brittany never stops smiling and she never lets go of my hand as she points to all the common things that are so interesting to her. She especially likes the jewelry and stops to look at some glass bead bracelets that sparkle in the sunlight. They come in all different colors, and they create a prism of every hue across my face when she holds a few up for inspection. Brittany laughs at my rainbow painted face then hands money to the crouch lady. She then takes one beautiful bracelet and clips it on my wrist. I tell Brittany she doesn't have to buy me anything but she just answers with, "I want you to have this bracelet because the colors are so pretty and they make you look pretty. And I want you to remember that you are like all the colors in my life, you make me happy like rainbows and you are so beautiful." She finishes with a shy smile. I don't know how to answer her, I want to say thank you but I don't feel it's enough in comparison to that declaration. While Brittany looks at some jade earrings I quickly buy something I hope will be a good enough thank you; now all I need is an awesome speech to go with it.

When I finish the transaction I tug at Brittany's hand and cock my head in the direction of the Chinese joint, the sun is setting and we need to get home. Artie and Ma are still there chatting over tea like old grannies. We say goodbye to Ma and head home, this time I carry Artie which surprises him. I'm trying to be nice considering I've sort of stolen his girlfriend. It's only dusk when we get home but I feel spent and it seems like Brittany and Artie want to crash as well. I take Artie up to the master bedroom and lay him down before making my way to the room across the landing. Brittany is on my heels but I'm not expecting her to be when I turn to shut the door. She stands in the doorway not sure if she can enter while I have my hand on the knob preparing to shut everything out. I know she wants to come in but I don't know if it's a good idea. Maybe we both need time to think about making "this" something more specific. I don't get to make the choice though; Brittany has turned on her heels and down the stairs.

After a quick shower I fall into one of the single beds and shut my eyes. I feel empty in this room laying in bed by myself and having nothing to hold onto, I've already gotten used to the warmth of Brittany's hand in mine, now there's nothing to grip but cold air.

It's not very late into the evening yet and though I'm tired I have a weight on me like there's some unfinished business to be done today. I rise and make my way downstairs in hopes of talking to Brittany. She's not on the couch and she's not anywhere else in the house so I grab a bottle of water which can maybe clear my mind enough to let me sleep. It doesn't help much because the weight is not in my head at all but in my heart.

Back upstairs I head for my room but see a crack in the other door. Brittany of course is not going to sleep on the couch again and if I won't let her sleep with me she'll take her other alternative. I creep to the door slightly ajar just to see if she is ok and comfortable. But she isn't laying down or even on the king sized bed, and it doesn't look like Artie is sleeping either. They are actually having a serious conversation. I really shouldn't eves drop but I'm curious, so I sit down against the wall at the crack in the door and listen.

"You and Santana are pretty close aren't you?" Artie questions out of curiosity. I don't know where Brittany will take her answer now that our relationship is being addressed. "Yeah", she nods and remains silent like she's thinking of some way to tell Artie more without revealing the true nature of the situation. "Where do you know each other from?" Artie encourages when Brittany doesn't say much. It's complicated now because if Brittany tells the truth then the whole truth will be out and I can read on her face she's conflicted, she's not sure if now is the right time.

"Well, I don't think she likes me very much", Artie deducts from my behavior; "She keeps giving me the evil eye whenever I'm talking to you". Brittany sighs and says, "It's because Santana is protective of what is hers", I'm surprised she let that slip. "What do you mean hers?" Artie asks starting to become confused. Brittany takes a deep breath and tells him a story, hoping he'll understand because she's not good at explaining things. "Santana and I went to the same place, Millenicon instead of high-school, we were not only academically educated there but we had special training as well." The wheels in Arties head are ticking, trying to make sense of it all. "In junior year we were separated into divisions for specific training. So in celebration of making field agent training our division had a party. Both Santana and I made field agent, there were about 8 others too." How does this explain Santana's issues? Artie asks. "As I was saying," Brittany continues, "we were throwing a party."

I remember the night Brittany is describing.

_So Britts and I made it, not that I'm surprised because we totally kick ass and deserve to be field agents. Given it was pretty exciting being announced as field agents because it's damn hard to get in; there were only 10 spots and we'd made it. Who cares that the devil and her Mohawk lover got through as well along with that idiot giant that refused to kiss me. It'd only be more fun with them around to pick on. _

_Tonight we were having a party and yeah, most anything in this place blows but tonight we got a little allowance to do what we wanted even though we'd be watched and it was sort of uncomfortable. _

_We went with the traditional booze, drunk dancing, and spin the bottle. No one dared to get more creative than that in this place. After a couple of beers and dancing with people I barely looked at when not intoxicated, my head started getting a little fuzzy so I sat down and viewed the other drunkards from my perch. _

_Um what the hell is going on? Even in my blitzed state I managed to search out Britts on the floor and I did not like what I was seeing. The Mohawk guy had his hands all over her, and maybe Britts didn't care because she was totally lost in a different world probably dancing with unicorns and fairies. But in this very real world she's got this guy grinding into her from behind and touching her in places no one had ever touched besides me. I am not o.k. with this. I got up and dragged my feet across the floor reaching Brittany and hooking my arm around her waist, leading her to the couch. "But the song didn't end yet," Britts protested. "You shouldn't dance with people when you're drunk." I shake a finger in her face. "If you didn't notice that rooster had his hands all up on that", I waved my hands over her upper body getting a little distracted by her heaving chest. "But you always touch me", Brittany shrugs. "And that's because I'm the only one allowed to touch you Britt." Usually I wasn't this possessive of her; anyways, my words were slurred and I didn't comprehend half the things I said._

_For the next hour I danced with Brittany in a secluded corner; actually Brittany danced circles around me and I just stood there like I had paid to see best show in the world. Then some genius had the idea to play spin the bottle. Everyone immediately forms a circle around a not yet empty bottle of beer. "595, you not playing?" Someone asked me. Ugh why would I even want to get slobbered all over? "No." I say waving him off. I sat on a counter already feeling bored of this party, but I noticed Brittany was bouncing on her knees all happy because she loves to play games. She probably didn't even know or care what game they were playing. _

"_So watcha all gotta do," the devil started to explain, "is take a spin and suck face with whomever the bottle points to, got it? "Oh and it doesn't matter what gender they are," 666 adds as an afterthought, "gotta do the business regardless." _

_I expected Britts to leave the circle at this point if she'd even registered what the devil had just said. Why would Brittany want to be licked and tongued anyway? Brittany either didn't understand the game yet or she dared to play it, but whatever, I wasn't going to intervene. The spinning started and people laughed their heads off at the first couple's less than control mouthing. It was gross. And the spinning was probably getting to everyone's heads now because people were just all over the place being way too happy. I spaced out for a bit till the next round was announced. _

"_777, I see" the devil said in an evil voice. Brittany just shrugged and scooted closer to 666. "Some girl on girl!" the Mohawk whooped. I rolled my eyes at how disgusting boys could be sometimes. My attention was brought back to Brittany and my enemy when 666 called out loud, "Hey 595 aren't you going to watch?" Before I could retort, the devil had her mouth on Brittany, smothering her with tongue and all. _

_Brittany didn't look like she was enjoying the kiss much but nevertheless reciprocated when she could. It'd been a minute and they were still sucking face sloppily with no sign of stopping. Some guys were shouting "get a room!" I was disgusted out of my mind watching the devil pin my angel to the floor and molesting her. I got up and grabbed 666 by the hair, breaking their kiss. _

"_Hey," the girl screamed as I dragged her a far distance away from Brittany who was trying to catch her breath from being attacked. "If you wanted some you could have asked nicely," 666 mocked. "If I wanted some I could've got it without jumping a girl and forcing myself on her. You're repulsive." I shout in her face wanting the drunken bitch to understand every word I was saying. "Oh, and on second thought, don't dream about trying that on my best friend again or I will endz you." I Hiss the last part. _

_666 shaked me off of her and stood up tipping a little to the left. She was in no shape to tackle me and it seemed like the rest of the party had already lost interest in our cat fight. So I made my way to Brittany pretty much sobered and grabbed her by the wrist leading her to our room. Damn it, watching 666 kiss Brittany had really pissed me off, but it also made me so horny._

_Britts didn't ask any questions as I pushed her onto my bed and instantly fell on top of her, kissing her the way the devil hadn't had the sense to. Brittany whimpered and trembled under my ministrations. I don't think we got much farther that night before we passed out. _

"See, Santana just doesn't like other people touching me, or if she's in a bad mood she might get mad if you talk to me." Brittany finishes the story. "Doesn't that come off as over protective? Like you have to have her permission to do things?" Artie asks. "I like it when she fights for me, and I like asking her things because she's really smart. You know everyone thinks she's a bad person but she's not." Brittany is getting frustrated; I'm considering breaking into the room to end the argument my way.

"I don't understand why she still acts that way; you even told me you haven't seen Santana in over ten years. But even now she watches you like a hawk. I can't talk to you or touch you without fearing for my life and it's just too much. Can't you see she's manipulating you? She wants to break us up so she can have you for whatever reason. God, Brittany why are you so stupid?" Artie finishes.

I'm going to finish him. No one calls Brittany stupid and clearly he is the one with brain problems. I march in and cradle Brittany's head against my shoulder. She's not crying but she's upset, that word has really hurt her. I glare at Artie like I'm going to set him in flames. "Brittany I'm sorry," Artie tries to apologize but I tell him to shut up and that he's lucky I'm comforting Britt right now or else his ass would already be thrown out the window.

"No, Artie I am." Brittany stands with shoulders set and inhales. "I was waiting for the right time to tell you but I guess that time is right now." Brittany steps forward and holds onto my hand urging me to step up with her. "You're wrong about Santana manipulating me. I…. I've been using you this whole time. See, Santana and I were agents for the US government and sometimes the job calls for us to get involved with people for the sake of the mission." Artie's face drains of color and he looks hopelessly at Brittany to tell him he's dreaming.

"Santana," Brittany looks at me before continuing, "She looks after me because we've been best friends for so long and we share something that is so rare and precious. I'm sorry Artie but I don't love you in that way, you were a great boyfriend, but I love someone else." Artie nods his head accepting the truth. Brittany lets out a sigh, having lifted a weight off her shoulder. She kneels down by Artie and cups his cheek with her hand. Artie brings his hand to cover Brittany's and they stay like that for a while just staring at each other. "I didn't mean it when I called you stupid Brittany, I really didn't," Artie apologizes again and Brittany accepts it.

"Can you say sorry to Santana too?" She asks; I find it sweet but very awkward. "Sure," the boy says and looks up to meet my eyes. "Santana, I…. I really misjudged you. You saved my life and you've been really accommodating this whole time. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and accusing you based on my feelings". "Its fine," I tell him and exit. I just really need to leave this room and emotional drain for a bit.

I go downstairs again to think, sitting on the kitchen counter sipping beer from the bottle. I shut my eyes for a bit, because this day has been exhausting and with the knowledge that everything is in the clear all I want is to relax and go to sleep. I open my eyes again and I'm greeted by a welcome sight. "Hey there," Brittany chides placing both her hands on the counter besides my thighs. "Hey," I respond, "You want me to get you something to drink?" Brittany smirks and instead of answering she takes the beer from my hand and takes a few gulps. I tell her that's my beer and I can get her one if she wants. Brittany shakes her head and hops onto the counter next to me.

"I didn't know you were listening," Brittany breaks the silence. I ask if she's mad and she shakes her head. We're both tired and there's not much to talk about but I try to make conversation anyway. "Best friends huh?" I jab at Brittany. She cocks her head to the side and asks if she should have said something else, maybe lovers? I tell her its suiting but she thinks it'd have been too much to drop on Artie. I agree and say "so now we're lovers huh?" Brittany says we can be whatever we want to be.

I jump off the counter and offer my hand as Brittany gets down. "What about girlfriends?" I ask leading Brittany back to my room. "Waiting for you to ask", she says closing the door behind us. "What makes you think I'm going to make the move?" I challenge with a raised eyebrow while pinning her to the door. "Because," Brittany flips us so she has the better position, "you want me so bad. I can see it in your eyes right now." I lean forward and give her a sweet kiss. "When will I ever win against you?" I whisper into her lips. "Never", is her response and I don't even try to fight it.

We break apart from the kiss when it gets out of hand and sit on opposite beds. This feels really weird and awkward. I get off the bed and shove mine towards Brittany's till there's no space between them. That's better. Brittany's just sitting there with an amused smile; she crawls to lay her head on my lap once I sit back down. I run my fingers through her hair like I used to when we were 17, it seems like a lifetime ago. Brittany takes my free hand and tickles my palm and then my fingers. It's not even sexual but it feels so intimate. "Why do you like black?" she asks, "You look so much better wearing rainbow colors." I watch as Brittany plays with the bracelet on my wrist. "That's what I tell everyone, and it's true, black was my favorite color before I met you." I'm hesitant because hell when do I ever talk like this, "Rainbow is my favorite color now, because it reminds me of you." God when did I learn to speak this language? It's all Brittany's fault I turned into a sap but I won't have it any other way.

"I have something for you too Britts", I pull the piece of jewelry from the side drawer. Brittany springs up eager to find out what it is. I don't pull it out of the bag yet cus' what am I gonna say? Britts this is for you cus' I'm black and your white and this symbolizes us? That doesn't sound romantic at all, but am I trying to sound romantic? Why can't I just give it to her and come up with some sweet shit to say.

"Are you ok Santana?" Brittany asks. I wake up for my heavy pondering and give her a smile, here goes nothing I think. "I'm great Britt," I respond before handing her a beautiful necklace with a small yin and yang pendant polished to a shine and made out of Ivory. "It's so cute," Brittany squeals, "like a panda bear." Leave it to Brittany to relate practically anything to animals.

"You know what it means Britts?" I ask her. She shakes her head, "opposites?" "It means two things that are so different but when put together are perfect." I explain. "Like you and me? Like I love the mornings and you don't, but then we end up having sweet lady kisses? Like cat's are my favorite things in the world and you hate them so much you want to drown them all in the river, but you always get me stuffed kittens or a cat cake for my birthday? " I like her conclusion much better than mine.

"Yeah, like you and me", I repeat and I wonder how she still remembers all that stuff. "It's perfect Santy," Brittany pecks me on the lips. The two pieces of the pendent aren't attached but they always fall neatly into place side by side. "Now I can remember that no matter what happens we'll be together even if we're apart." Brittany plays with two pieces connecting them when they swing away from each other. I take the necklace and put it around her neck. Then we snuggle into the sheets and let our tired bodies and minds rest.

"Santana, I love you," Brittany whispers half asleep in my arms. "I love you too, Brittany. So much," I mumble back letting myself drift off into a world of wonderful dreams with Brittany beside me.


	6. What now?

**Thanks everyone for your reviews and alerts, you make my day! Hope everyone is still enjoying the story**

Chapter 5

I wake up early out of habit and stretch my limbs only to be obstructed by another form weighing down on my chest. I stop moving to make sure I haven't woken up Brittany who is clutching my whole body in a tight embrace. She's so cute while she sleeps but I wonder what types of dreams she has. Her face shows a bit of turmoil. I don't' bother to get out of bed, instead I grab my iphone off the bedside table and scroll through the news feeds idly, glancing every so often at the sleeping angel on my breast. Once a snorer always a snorer, I chuckle. I'm actually surprised I get to witness the adorableness of it all, I almost never wake up before Brittany but I've learned to be alert at all times. 6 hours of shut eye is oversleeping.

Currently I find nothing of interest or relevance to me so I ignore my phone and think of a way to get up without waking Brittany. All I have to do is roll over on top of her while loosening her grip on my shirt, then I can lift myself off and she won't even know I'm missing. The plan works pretty much except Brittany has some sort of Santana detector or something because the instant I detach myself she mumbles something like, "where are you going? Come back to bed." I lean over her gently noticing she hasn't even opened her eyes, "Britt, I'll be back, just going to get us some coffee ok? You go back to sleep" I kiss her on the forehead like she's a kid and she curls up purring like a little kitten again.

I'm at the Chinese joint once again, this time Ma is all set up as she greets me. She knows my usual order so I sit at a table on street. "Where Bree-ta-nee and A-tee?" Ma inquires. I tell her they are sound asleep in the loft.

"Gweilo no welcome you see?" I don't know what Ma is talking about "Jhong Guo Jin Fu no like Gweilo stay in country, find you and kill."

"Wait, you mean the government is out to kill all foreigners?" The news is surprising but then again not quite seeing as the Western world has been meddling in Chinese politics for a while now, perhaps a little too long and now its biting them in the back.

"How do you know this?"

Ma just shrugs and says she never sleeps fully, always has the radio on even at 2 am. "you have hi-tech," pointing to my phone, "see your own eyes."

I'm sure if there's any such news I'd have seen it because I've set my phone to alert me whenever there is local news trending. Perhaps I missed it? Brittany in bed on my chest looking all kinds of adorable can be pretty distracting.

I check and sure enough there's an article warning all non-Chinese citizens to leave the country. The government has gone rampant hunting for all foreigners who may be involved with or connected to the recently unsuccessful operation ending with terrorist attacks on the American Embassy. I know Millenicon is part of that operation, Brittany is proof of that, it also strikes me that Brittany and Artie are not safe in the country anymore; my plans to leave in a fortnight have to be modified for as soon as possible.

I try not to show my panic as I leave Ma with a wad of bills, I may never see her again.

I think about where we'll go. If there is even a "we", what if Brittany doesn't want what I want. Sure, she said she loved me but would she willingly follow me? If it was before, I could tell Brittany what to do and she'd do it. But we are not 17 anymore, and Brittany has lived a lifetime without me, things are different now. And all of a sudden I get goose-bumps because I don't know what's going to happen and if I can handle getting rejected. I run through my mind all the places Brittany could go, but I can't find one that's better than what I have to offer. At least with me she'd be guaranteed safety and my undivided devotion, but I'm afraid it won't be enough.

I have to get my priorities straight, the first thing I need to do is get us out of the house without any traces. When I get back I start clearing all my belongings and things that weren't originally there when I bought it. The pile doesn't amount to much. Just a bag with important documents, stored food and a bag stuffed with clothes. I'll think of a way to dispose my handgun later. My commotion wakes my two sleeping guests; Brittany carries Artie down to the couch and watches me pack my things.

"There's coffee on the table, courtesy of Ma." I tell them, not stopping to look up.

"Santana," Brittany grips me by the shoulder; stopping my actions and forcing me to give her my full attention. "What's going on?"

"We have to leave," I tell her. "It's not safe here anymore." I hand her my iphone where the news article is still open.

I ask the boy if he has any place to go that is safe. He tells me he's only safe in the grave, his father hates him and would kill him at the first news of his existence. I think of some place he can go because I'm not letting him die after I fucking rescued him. It brings back to mind that I haven't even asked Brittany if she wants to elope with me.

A brilliant thought hits me. I ask Artie if he'd be willing to hide out with Hiro and his gang of rouge super scientists until he comes up with a plan. Artie thinks it's a good idea and I call Hiro to make arrangements for him. I have a feeling Artie is going to love it there with the state of the art labs and computers. Luckily Hiro is still in town and is willing to take the boy back with him but I have to get Artie to the Airport now or he'll miss the nine o'clock flight.

It's not long before I get to the airport and pass Artie on to Hiro. They seem happy to see each other; I'm guessing they bonded the other day when I was keeping Brittany's company. I'm surprised Hiro has a wheelchair ready and everything, how he even got another ticket on such short notice is beyond me. Brittany and Artie have a sentimental farewell as I drill Hiro on how I will dissect his body if anything happens to the boy. Not that I care so much about Artie but Brittany clearly does so I make his safety a priority, for her.

I'm alone with Brittany now, and I don't know how to tell her my proposal. There's an uneasy silence around us as if we are avoiding each other, not physically because I'm holding her hand and she's gripping me tightly, but we both don't say the words that need to be said.

We could be in this stalemate for days if the matter isn't so urgent so I break the silence and spit it out. "What about you and I?"

Brittany is pensive and she doesn't look me in the eyes. She sighs and tells me I have plans and I should follow them.

"But ," I falter, I thought it'd be easier to say when the time came but it's just as hard as I imagined. "I want…. I mean, if you want, you could come with me." I gather up all my guts, "I want you to come with me, please?"

She smiles and looks away; there is something unreadable in her eyes. "Santana," she says slowly, thinking of the right words to say. "Some things just aren't meant to be." She inhales like there is a heavy weight on her heart. "I love you; that's why I can't go."

I'm shocked by her answer; it doesn't make sense. "Brittany, I…" She interrupts me before I can say anything else.

"I just got free from Millecon ok? I have you to thank and I'll always owe you, someday I'm going to pay you back for saving me, I promise. But right now, there are some things I'm going through and I just need some time to work on me. Believe me when I say I'll go to the ends of the earth with you, because I love you, but I need to fix myself before I can … before I'm good for you."

"Brittany I don't understand," tears are threatening to freefall. "You are perfect, there's nothing wrong with you, and don't tell me you're not good for me because you are the only thing that is good in my life. Please don't do this. Whatever it is you feel the need to fix, we can do it together, I've been through hell trying to get you back and I'm not letting go. Please give me a chance."

"I'm sorry Santana, but you don't know me we've been apart for so long, things have happened and there are things that you can't fix." Her voice is final and it's like a knife buried in my chest. "You've helped by setting me free, now I need to do what I have to do."

"All this for nothing," I say bitterly wiping my eyes violently. "Why did you make me believe we could be something when you were just going to get up and leave. It's not fucking fair." "Here," I say unwrapping the shiny, glass bead bracelet Brittany had given me from my wrist, "I don't believe you love me; if you did, you'd come with me and you'd let me help you." I instantly feel cold and even emptier when Brittany untangles herself from me.

"I'm really sorry Santana," She starts to say again. "No," I cut her off, "I don't want to hear anymore apologies." "Give me one night," I tell her, "One night to show you how much I need you and that you can depend on me for anything, if you don't change your mind by tomorrow morning, I'll leave."

Brittany eyes are set like she's contemplating on taking me up on the challenge. I know she wants to. "One night," Brittany finally says, "is too much."

I don't know how to convince her anymore so I get up and leave, not looking back. Worthlessness and emptiness creep inside of me and no longer do I have any direction of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do. I know Brittany is following me but I quickly lose her in the crowd.

My life is so fucked up right now, last night I was the happiest person on the planet but what's that thing about setting your hopes too high? Yeah, it's like setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm sitting here at Ma's place having my 7th beer of the night. I know I should be gone by now to some far off place, but after Brittany refused me at the airport the only thing I could think of was drowning my misery in cheap Chinese booze. I don't even know where Brittany is, and I don't care; yeah right who am I kidding? But I can't do anything about it so tomorrow I resolve to get my shit together and carry out Brittany's last wishes, follow my plan and leave this episode of my life behind. I'm not excited about the episode that comes after though, because I know there is nothing in it for me. Tired and wasted I pass out after consuming more bottles of alcohol I can count in my intoxicated state.

The next morning I wake up banging my head against the bed board. Where am I? This is certainly not my room. I can barely keep my eyes open as the pain in my head sizzles unendingly. I hear Ma's voice and it sounds like its coming from downstairs. I realize I'm probably on one of the floors above the Chinese joint. I can't hear clearly what they say but I hear the word "Gweilo" and I know someone is inquiring about sightings of foreigners. After a while Ma manages to get rid of the person and I'm a little more relived. I know I have to leave the country soon if I don't want to be in caught still hanging around here. I scan the room and see that all my two bags are present. I check for a way of escape that is not the front door; that's too risky. The fire escape that runs along the side of the building is my best option; I sling my backpack and sack over my shoulders and start the descent down the shaky, rusted staircase.

I'm at the train station; it's bustling and too busy that no one will suspect a traveling foreigner amongst the locals, mercenaries, merchandise, livestock and other living things boarding the engine headed for Burma.

The ride is uneventful, except I am stuck sharing a cabin with some sleezy men who eye me up and down every so often, I can only imagine what they're thinking. Luckily no one puts their fantasy into play and I make it past the border safely. I get off as soon as the train halts and find shelter in a small parlour just off the station. I'm safer here where I'm not being hunted, but Burma is still a dangerous country full of rouge assassins and government spies. I figure I'll wait it out here till I find a ride into Thailand, the neighboring country, where I can board a plane home.

It's six pm, by the time the train arrives; I've been holding my ticket for about two hours now and the parlour is become fuller with more strangers from different corners of the world. I stick to myself until I hear the chime to board. On my way up the platform someone bumps shoulders with me, and I get a look at their face even though they are wearing a hoodie. The person stare's right at me before quickly looking away continuing in the opposite direction. It's a strange interaction, and something about it doesn't feel right. Those eyes, they're familiar but I don't recognize them at all.

I board the train feeling more alert than ever, and even though I'm tired I don't dare fall asleep. Those eyes are haunting me and I just hope I make it out of Burma alive.

Even though I feel wary of someone watching me I manage to stay calm. About four hours later I've made it across the border to Thailand where I make a quick flight reservation online and hope I don't miss my flight. The plane leaves in two hours but I'm stuck in traffic, damn Bangkok.

I make it to the Airport 15 minutes before departure time, in my haste I run into someone knocking them to the ground. Stopping in my tracks I turn around to help them up but they're already standing and walking away, but not before looking at me in the eyes. I shudder all over again when I realize they are the same ones from the train station. It's getting a little creepy now with this person; I wonder if they are following me, no, I wonder why.

I'm relieved when I get on the plane without any trouble; no problems with the officials and no sighting of that stalker person. The fatigue is starting to get to me but I still don't feel safe enough to sleep, surely the person with green eyes is on this same flight if they are following me. Half way through the flight I can't take it anymore, I'm fighting to keep my eyes open but the stress of today is too overwhelming and I slip into unconsciousness. At this point I couldn't care less if some psycho stalker killed me, I wouldn't feel a thing anyway.

I jolt awake, something is happening, in the real world and in my dreams both. The reality is that there is turbulence; I'm always queasy when it happens, so I try to distract myself with something. "Umm, could I please order something to eat?" I call over a flight attendant. She's pretty, Asian, and a great distraction at the moment.

"What can I get you?" she asks, Tina, I read from her tag. "Your strongest alcohol and some salad," It's probably not a good idea I drink on the plane, but life has really sucked lately so I need anything that can help me stop thinking about it at the moment. Tina pours me a glass of white wine, and hands me a container of chilled salad. She tells me to call her if I need anything else; I thank her by name, and she blushes. I laugh quietly loving how I have that effect on girls. I don't even care if they're straight; I just get a kick out of making them red in the face.

Before I know it the plane is stable and back to normal, the wine and carrot sticks have really helped calm my nerves. The rest of the flight is uneventful, except I keep giving Tina "the look" just because it's fun and it's better than me mulling over some crazy person who may or may not want to murder me. I think about maybe seducing Tina into the bathroom, get on the mile high club; that would really take my mind off the shit that is my life.

I get up and go to the bathroom, on my way I walk past Tina and tell her that the tissue has run out. She right away goes to get some while I go claim the bathroom. Five minutes later there's a knock on the door, quickly opening it I grab Tina by the wrist and drag her into the bathroom with me. There's a look of shock on her face, but before she can say anything I push her backwards on top of the sink and kiss her hard. My whole body is pressing into hers as I continue to abuse her lips, licking and biting them like I haven't eaten in days. Things are just starting to heat up, Tina has finally decided to stop resisting; she's all over me now, kissing me back with as much passion and letting her hands roam across my back and neck till she's gripping my hair. I stop; I can't be doing this, not when a certain blonde haired beauty keeps popping into my mind, reminding me that the flight attendant is not the one I should be kissing. Tina looks at me like I have three heads; like she's trying to figure out what is going on with me. I don't blame her, one second I'm making out with her, the next I'm leaning on the opposite side of the bathroom wall looking at her with guilty eyes.

"I'm sorry, this is all wrong," I stutter and look for a way out of this uncomfortable situation. Tina still looks confused but she nods hands me the tissue roll and leaves. I let out a shaky breath grasping at what I almost did when Tina pops her head in, she asks me not to rat on her because she'll definitely lose her job if anyone found out. I'm not one to let someone be punished for my actions so I reassure her no one will ever know. Tina seems satisfied with my answer "for what it's worth, you are a great kisser, if you ever want to hook up on the ground give me a call." There's a hint of mischief in her eyes and voice. I thank her for the compliment but tell her it probably won't happen.

The landing is smooth, thank God; I don't think I could handle any more stress in one day. Now that I'm home I've got nothing to worry about. Sure Brittany is out there somewhere fixing whatever shit she has going on, but I'm not going to worry about her because she who didn't want me around. It hurts like hell reliving our last conversation. All of a sudden I don't feel so carefree anymore and I realize that there is a part of my heart; one owned by Brittany, that I can never take back.

Being home doesn't feel any different, last time I was here I was alone yet I had a purpose. Now I'm here alone without any reason to be. I'm just here, existing.

Exiting Naples International Airport, I flag down a cab and give the chauffer my address. It's not long till I reach my home in Sorrento, Italy. It's exactly the same way I left it. The house is beautiful; it portrays the type of magnificence of the renaissance. It's not a palace but it's a small mansion with great facilities and an amazing balcony view that overlooks the bay of Naples. I love this place, living here is like having vacation all year around. I was lucky to get the house, the previous owner was an old woman with no relatives so when she decided to move out and live in an old folks home, she put the house up for sale. It's amazing I even got the house; when I bid for it, there were already 5 other bidders and most of them offering more than what I could pay. The old lady didn't seem to care much for the cash because after meeting her briefly, she had her lawyer call me the next day to inform me the house was mine for the price I offered. The house was perfect and it still is, the furnishing is pristine, every part of the house is done in artistic taste. Sometimes I wonder if the old woman was an artist or poet.

My house, it smells so great, like oak forests, like the sea, like fragrant candles, I could go on and on. Living in this house is an experience of its own. I realize I've been carried away with my thoughts when the cab driver clears his throat. Apologizing in broken Italian, I pay him for his services.

It takes me a few minutes to unpack my very few belongings; I'm tired and so in need of sleep. Making my way to the balcony attached to the master bedroom, I can see the whole bay, it's so beautiful, especially when the sun goes down and sprays a hue of orange across the sky and turns the water into liquid gold. I sit down on a reclining chair and close my eyes, enjoying the fresh salt air and the cooling seaside breeze. It's not long till I'm drifting off to sleep.

I wake up feeling much better, the fatigue is mostly gone and I had a great dream. Brittany was here with me and we had a family; two cute kids and a bunch of puppy dogs. It's a crazy dream, but I smile because that's what dreams are supposed to be too good to be true. I don't even know why I dreamed of having a family, maybe because I've hardly ever had one. Why Brittany is there surprises me, perhaps in my subconscious it's what I want, a family, with Brittany. But now it all seems so silly in the reality of life. I shake my head as if I can shake away the thought of Brittany, even now I'm wondering where she is.

It's almost seven in the evening and I can't wait to get out and enjoy the night scene in this town full of diversity. I leave in my sports Audi for my favorite bar. I need some strong stuff tonight, and although I don't look forward to the inevitable headache tomorrow morning at least I won't be worrying about the future. Just live one day at a time, I tell myself.

Bar Ercolano, is bustling as usual. It's my go to bar set right on the streets at the main Piazza of Sorrento. I order a sandwich along with a martini to start off. The place is quaint; the low prices attract people from all walks of life, foreigners and local folks alike. It's great for meeting new people who you can talk to comfortably and know you probably won't see them again.

I'm a regular here, Joaquin, the owner, comes over to chit chat about what I've been up to seeing as I haven't graced his bar in well over six months. I tell him I've been oversees working, he waves me off and sits down next to me on a bar stool and motions with his hands for me to give more details. That's the thing with people here; they want to talk about everything. It's what makes the place lively. I tell Joaquin I've really been busy with work, intervening in a case I've been investigating in Asia. It's not really a lie; here in Italy as part of my identity I work for an investigation company and I was investigating in China just not the way anyone would have expected. At the company I deal with taxes and shady money transactions in the system, I only actually go to work when there is a big case or one that requires special Intel; other than that it's just face time for the check which is not shabby at all. Talking with Joaquin about work reminds me I should give my friend Francis a call; he's the one who hired me into his company in the first place. He's going to want to know I'm back.

It's late now, almost one in the morning and I know I've had one too many shots. I tell my bar buddies I'm heading home for the night before I stumble out onto the street. I can tell my sense of balance isn't very good. I consider crashing at the bar for the night instead of driving home but by the time I turn into the alley, where my car is parked, the battle between bed and bar is decided; my home is only ten minutes away, I can make it back if I drive carefully.

I'm walking towards my car but something feels strange, I swear I can hear another pair of feet walking behind me and my thoughts are instantly brought back to the stalker encounter I keep having. I turn around, just in time too as a hooded figure is about to grab me. I'm suddenly wide awake and more alert. I whack away the hand that's almost reached me and use my fist to land a blow on my attackers shoulder. The hooded figure reels back and looks at me from behind the cape; it's those familiar green eyes I've seen twice today. They momentarily distract me and before I know it the assailant has me locked by the neck in a strangling hold, the wind is leaving my lungs so fast I feel like I'm dying. A side glance to my right reveals a syringe filled with something to probably put me out of commission. At least they aren't going to kill me yet; I try to be optimistic, hopefully when I wake up in a better state I can negotiate my way out of this horrible turn of events.

I brace myself to lose consciousness but the needle never comes to my neck, instead I'm being released. I gulp in as much air as I can before looking up to see who had come to my aid. I can't make out who it is but it's a woman for sure. The woman who saved me is supporting the cloaked figure in her arms, dropping the empty syringe and pulling the hood off the figures head. I walk up behind my savior just in time to see the face of my attacker. "Quinn Fabray?" I say out loud. Then the woman who saved me turns around and I'm twice as shocked. "Brittany?"

**Again if you have any suggestions or you don't like something, drop me a line :) **


	7. I'm not sure what this is going to be

Chapter 6

"Quinn Fabray?" I say out loud. Then the woman who saved me turns around and I'm twice as shocked. "Brittany?"

Upon seeing me standing unsteady in front of her, the effects of alcohol and shock, Brittany sets Quinn down and comes to my aid, stilling my swaying.

"Are you ok?" She asks with genuine concern.

"Does it look like I'm ok?" I retort, "That bitch has been freaking the shit out of me all day and to top it off she almost killed me!" I'm shouting uncontrollably now and causing a scene.

"Santana, let's get out of here, where is your car?" Brittany glances up and down the alley looking for a parked vehicle.

"How do you know I have a car?" My drunkenness is really showing. "Even if I do, it's not like you can steal it from me because I have the key. You'll have to get it over my dead body."

"I'm not going to steal anything," Brittany says softly in her reassuring voice, "look, just walk to your car ok?"

I do as Brittany says, stumbling every so often on the uneven pavement till I reach my Audi; I pat my right and left ass pockets for the keys but they aren't there. I turn around so I'm leaning my back on the sleek black sports car and watch as Brittany makes her way towards me.

"I lost my car keys Britts, so you're gonna have to break in and start it manually."

"Here, unlock the back door for me," Brittany hands over a set of keys that look extremely familiar.

"Where did you get a copy of my keys Britt?" I can't help thinking my girl is good, wait she's not my girl, I'm not going down that path.

"I got it from your back pocket where you keep everything important Santana, now would you please hurry up with the door? Quinn is kind of heavy." Brittany readjusts her hold on the cloaked figure in her arms, getting a better grip on the body underneath the shifting cloak.

I open the back door for Brittany as she lowers Quinn into the back seat. I take the opportunity to check out her ass that is currently sticking out on display from her position bending over.

"Does it look any better than it did before?" Brittany's words startle me from my leering. I shrug and tell her it's totally turning me on and that I'd tap it. She giggles at my bluntness and slaps my butt before grabbing the keys from my open palm and making her way to the driver's side. I'm still sort of mesmerized by her saunter when I hear her calling for me to get in car. Sitting comfortably in the passenger's seat I tilt my head to look at Brittany through half lidded eyes. She starts the engine and heads in the direction of the beach.

"Where are you taking me?" I mumble from my half unconscious state.

"To your home," It's evident she knows her way there because we're approaching the street leading to my house.

"But how do you know where I live?"

"The same way I knew where you were." She finishes just as we pull up in front of my house. Brittany reaches into my jacket pocket and produces the keys to the kingdom.

"You are soooo smart," my words are slurred but she can still decrypt the message, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when she smiles in response. Brittany doesn't get out of the car like I expect her to. With one click on the remote dangling on the keychain, the automatic gate rolls open revealing my spacious property and the door to my garage.

This time Brittany gets out of the car to unlock and swing open the huge garage door before seating herself behind the wheel again. She revs the engine of my Audi and does a one hand u-turn on the driveway at an amazing speed, then backs up into the garage like she's driven my car for years.

"Wow, where did you learn how to be so awesome with cars?" I can't help but be impressed.

"You ask a lot of questions for a drunken person, considering I only remember you being the weepy type of drunk." Brittany jabs playfully while shutting off the engine, but something about the way she says it has me tearing up and emptying buckets of tears.

"You mean you only remember all the times I got sentimental and emotional? Don't you remember all those cute things I did for you too? Why do you have to only remember me being all weepy like this?" Brittany is laughing and it's not helping me one bit. "You are so predictable," She leans in and gives me a tight comforting hug. "I didn't mean it like that ok?" I nod and wipe my tear stained eyes on her shoulder. "Come on, let's go inside," Brittany breaks away and gets out of the car, opening my side and helping me to stand. "I'm going to get Quinn out, can you unlock the house?" I nod and Brittany gives me a chaste kiss on the lips, "thanks," She says. I'm all smiles again realizing Brittany just kissed me.

Inside my house I turn on the lights and gesture for Brittany to come in. She asks if I have a guest room where she can put Quinn. I take her upstairs and show her the guest room to the far left of the hall where she lays Quinn down on the bed. I'm standing at the door watching as Brittany frees Quinn from the cloak, stroking the hair out of her face and pulls the duvet all the way over Quinn's body up to her chin. In my mind I think of how sweet, gentle and almost motherly Brittany appears. How in the world has she not been ruined by the agency and this line of work? I know for a fact that working for Millenicon had turned me into a bitter and vengeful person. But not Brittany, she somehow managed to keep her beautiful personality.

As Brittany approaches me I take her hand like it's the most natural thing to do and lead her towards my room. She doesn't pull away or hesitate; instead she follows my lead, grasping my arm so that I'm walking more steadily.

Brittany turns on the lights in my room and proceeds to change positions; she's now leading me to my bed where she helps me to sit down. Making sure I'm not going to fall over, she lets go and walks to my closet, picking out some comfortable shorts and a top. Standing in front of me again, she asks if I can put them on myself or if I need help. I'm a little shaky but I stand up and pull my jeans off, losing balance when they get stuck on my foot. Brittany is there to grab me before I fall over. She kneels down and helps to free my foot from the denim. Slowly she gets back up; I can tell she is admiring my toned, tanned legs. Her eyes stop for a split second at my center but she quickly averts them up where they land on my breasts. While she helped with my jeans I managed to throw my jacket and shirt to the other side of the room so now my breast were on full display, covered only by my bra.

I see Brittany gulp before turning her head and looking at the ceiling, then the rest of the room. The pink blush on her cheeks is so cute and I stifle a giggle at her attempt to avoid looking at my practically naked body.

Brittany breaths out a sigh and makes eye contact with me, asking if I need help putting my top and pants on. I shake my head, taking the items and putting them on with relative ease, all the while Brittany has her eyes scoring every corner of my room. Satisfied that I was fully dressed and not going to topple over and hit my head on the floor, Brittany brings her attention back to me tells me I should get some rest.

"Are you...do you," I stutter because things have just become a little awkward between us "want to sleep with me?" I look down at my toes not having the courage to meet her gaze.

Brittany smiles but shakes her head, "I would love to but I think I should sleep somewhere closer to Quinn, just in case she wakes up and needs someone to explain things to her."

"Which reminds me," I'm suddenly suspicious of this whole situation. Quinn, my long time frenemy who tried to sedate me tonight, is here in my house after not seeing her for years. Brittany, who I had a terrible last encounter with at the airport, has suddenly reappeared knowing every last detail of my whereabouts.

I bring my attention back to Brittany after spacing out for a while, "you have some explaining to do too, you and Quinn both."

"Santana, I promise everything will be cleared up in the morning ok? I think we all need to get some rest before we try to figure it out." Brittany's right, she always is, with a headache beginning to creep up on me I'm going to have a very hard time putting the pieces together tonight.

"Ok," I tell Brittany. She asks me if there is another place she can sleep that is closer to Quinn and I tell her there is another guest bedroom right next to Quinn's room. Brittany thanks me and then we both stand there by my bed for a short while that seems like forever, no one moving away. We're standing pretty close to each other and I can feel her breath and I'm sure she can feel mine.

Before long Brittany makes the first move to leave, on impulse I grab her wrist and pull her into me, I look into her eyes and slowly lean forward, letting my eyes shut, pressing my lips against hers. We stay in that position, kissing for a few seconds till I disconnect our lips and whisper "thank you for being there for me in the alley." Brittany responds by saying she's glad I'm safe and that she got to me in time.

Brittany pushes me onto the bed and pulls the duvet over my body the way she did with Quinn, except this time she bends down to press a kiss to my forehead and whispers goodnight. I'm already drifting to sleep when Brittany turns off the lights and is walking out the door.

"Brittany," I croak in a small voice. She turns around and I can see her piercing blue orbs through the darkness, "goodnight."

"Goodnight," I hear her reply and then everything goes black.

I wake up with the worst headache I've had in a long time, the blinders are pulled back and my door is open. It certainly wasn't my doing so someone must be in my house. I panic for a split second till I recollect my thoughts; Brittany, she was here last night. Another person enters my mind, Brittany was here with Quinn. I dash to the bathroom for a quick shower that I hope will clear my head enough to remember what the hell is going on.

Through the sheets of water tumbling off my hair onto my face and enveloping me from head to toe, little fragments of the previous night appear in and I try to piece them together. By the end of my shower I remember almost everything from last night. It still doesn't make sense how it all happened but that's what I'm going to find out.

I'm in the kitchen looking for something other than water to ease my rumbling stomach, I'm glad I stopped drinking when I did last night or the floor would not be a pretty sight. Seeing as I'd just got in yesterday and didn't think of stocking up on edibles, I have no choice but get coffee from the bar. I go to the dolphin dish by the door to get my car keys but they're gone. I remember Brittany was the last to handle them. I let out a huff because I really need that coffee like yesterday and knowing Brittany she could be anywhere in this house with her knack for exploration, or worse she was already out on the town, soaking up the 10 o'clock sun.

I'm about to start my search for Brittany when I hear the gate open, through the stained glass windows I can vaguely see Brittany park smoothly on my driveway. I roll my eyes because I love that car and Brittany isn't the most cautious driver. I open the door with the perfect greeting for Brittany, "hey, did you purposely not wake me up so you could take my car for a spin? I know how infatuated you are with motors, and my wheels are the shit but I'd appreciate it if next time I was informed before my car was used as hot wheel stunt display." The words died on my lips when I got out of my head and my eyes focused on the very live Quinn Fabray looking not too sure how to react.

"Sorry, about that," Brittany directs to no one particular, popping out from behind Quinn, I must have been wearing a hostile face because Brittany immediately tries to explain, "I had to get coffee, you have like nothing to eat in this fancy house." "Wait, did the elves steal all your food?"

I was not ready for that. "Britt…,"

"I know, elves aren't real, I was just messing with you, you know, seeing if you recovered from last night." She's smiling that cheeky smile, the one she does when she's got you.

"So, I went to that place you were last night and since Quinn was scared you might wake up and be awkward with each other while I was away, she came with me."

Yeah, things would be really awkward if Quinn and I were sharing space without a buffer like Brittany, she'd probably come home to two dead bodies.

"Hi, Santana," Quinn breathes out with her gorgeous smile and showing her perfect teeth. I'm not in the mood so I don't answer.

Brittany sets 3 cups of hot coffee and fresh bagels down on the kitchen table while Quinn and I try to avoid looking at each other. I'm not being awkward in my own house; I just need to talk about what the hell is going on, right now.

"Well, sit," Brittany says, sipping her coffee and tasting the bagels like the three of us having breakfast together is the most ordinary thing. "I love these." Her mouth is full and she looks like a chipmunk. It makes me laugh.

Losing my bitch stare made things a little easier for everyone, as Brittany continues to talk with food in her mouth about everything except what I want to know. She's making a fool of herself with her hyped up commentary on purpose, that of making me smile. Quinn isn't holding her breath anymore and seems more comfortable judging by the guilty smile adorning her sun kissed face.

Breakfast is coming to an end, and Brittany has exhausted her words. I still have yet to learn why I have these two people from my old life sitting here in my new one; the one where I was supposed to be free of my past.

Quinn and Brittany offer to throw out the disposable cups and clean the table at the same time.

"Sit down," I demand, I can't let this moment pass, I need answers.

The two return to their seats and look quizzically at each other wondering who let the dogs out.

I calm myself, no one speaks up. I don't know what to ask first. "What is going on?" I just want the whole explanation.

Quinn clears her throat and speaks up first, "Santana, I'm sorry it had to be this way. Sometimes when I'm in the moment I do things, I think it's the right thing but I… things backfire, a lot."

"You're going to have to be a little less vague Fabray, if you want regular people to understand what goes on in that head of yours." I let out, "what have they turned you into, some crazy, conniving, maniac? It's beyond me, really."

"I was getting to that," Quinn states, "When Brittany came to me and said she was free of Millenicon, all I could think about was getting to you, I had to be free of them too, you know how hard it is to be with them but unwillingly. I kept trying to find ways to get clear….."

"Hold up Fabray, you were in contact with Brittany? When, how, how long?" I never thought they'd stay friends much less stayed in contact.

All this time Brittany has been silent, Quinn looks at her like she's unsure how to answer or if she even should.

"A year," Brittany says, "I've been visiting Quinn off and on for a year."

I can't believe it, "so, you think it's a good idea to find Quinn and be friends with her but you don't care to search for me, your best friend?"

"It's not like that," Brittany interjects, "Quinn has been helping me; I wanted to get better before I found you."

I feel my eyes water, my eyes sting, but not as much as my heart. Whatever Brittany is going through, she went to Quinn, not me.

"I see now whatever thing you have, I'm not worthy of knowing about it but Quinn is," I say bitterly.

Brittany tries to explain again but I've had enough.

"I just want to know why the hell you need me Quinn, and why you couldn't ring my door bell like a normal person."

Quinn lets out a sigh and admits that she was a little over the top with her plan to kidnap me and bring me back to Latvia or wherever her home is so that I can remove her agent tracker.

Your plans always sucked Fabray," I bite, "and you think I'd still do that for you after you drugged me?" I laugh bitterly and get up to leave.

"I don't see why you two are in my house," the words echo off the kitchen walls, "I'd like you to be gone in the next three hours."

I retreat to my room, filled with anger. Who were they to walk back into my life and uproot it all over again? I was starting to get it back together, but they've managed to toss any progress out to the wind the moment I believe I'm free.

I try to rest, close my eyes and let the warm summer breeze take over my rage. I've calmed down somewhat but there are still so many missing puzzle pieces, I can't rest until the all pieces come together.

The house is quiet as I make my way to the door on the opposite end of the hall. It's open one third of the way. I hear talking so I don't enter, just stand outside and try to make out the conversation.

Brittany is crying and talking in that muffled tone. Whenever she does that I find myself wanting to comfort her, and my heart breaks a little. I should be there holding her head and drying her tears, not Quinn. But I stand my ground, listening.

"Britts, you tried," Quinn comforts the sobbing girl, "it's not your fault she never listens to you, she's always been like that."

"Maybe I should just tell her," Brittany says, slightly subdued.

"And what will that do? You're going to freak her out; she's not good with these things."

"I know," Brittany sounds defeated, "that's why I haven't told her, she's going to be a wreck and I can't let this thing ruin my life and hers. She deserves to find someone who won't be a burden."

Quinn chuckles, "If Santana thinks you're burden, she doesn't deserve you Brittany. You deserve someone who is reliable and who'll take care of you through it all, Santana, she's not that type, I'm just afraid she'll hurt you by not being there when you need her."

Brittany doesn't answer for a long while. Quinn's words have made me angry, they aren't true at all. I'd give anything for Brittany; maybe I wouldn't give anybody else the time of day but I love Brittany, that's the difference.

I want to confront Brittany so bad about what she won't tell me, but right now I want to know if Brittany agrees with Quinn's words.

"You're right," Brittany says and I can hardly believe my ears, "she's not that type. It'd be unfair for me to expect her to understand, much less to accept and feel responsible to care for me. It's better if I'm not in her life, it'd be much less complicated. She could be happy." The last words sound like they come from someone with a broken heart.

Quinn nods and tells Brittany she's doing the right thing before she gets up and walks into the adjoining bedroom to pack her things, closing the door behind her softly.

"I love her," Brittany whispers not knowing that Quinn has left.

I'm crying uncontrollably now. Crying because Brittany doesn't think I'm capable of taking care of her, she thinks that I'll leave her at the first sign of trouble. I don't know what's wrong with her or how bad it is but I need a fair chance. Brittany needs to know I'm willing to drain the ocean to find whatever will help her get better, I'm going to do anything for her, and I love her enough to not let her go this time.

I'm standing in her room silently; she's half heartedly putting a few items into a rucksack.

"Brittany," I whisper quietly. Her motions stop and she looks ever so slowly to where I'm standing. I make sure she hears every word I'm about to say and that she can see in my eyes how much I need this.

"If you love me, … please stay."


	8. The Deal

Chapter 7

The air in the room is suffocating, I feel an eternity has passed by when it's really only been a few moments.

"You want me to stay? Weren't you the one kicking me out just an hour ago?" Brittany jokes in hopes the atmosphere will lighten.

I don't know how to answer as Brittany continues. "How long have you been eves dropping?"

"Not long," I lie.

Brittany chuckles and walks over to me, "Well I'm glad you heard the last part, because I meant it. But I think it's better if I go. I just came because I needed to know you were safe, now that you are, well my mission is over."

"I love you too, you know" I say in all sincerity, "I'm sorry for kicking you out, I was just angry." As an afterthought I add, "wait, why would you think I wasn't safe? I've been fine without you all these years. Now all of a sudden you're worried about me?"

"Really you were fine?" Brittany says, "Then why do you need me to stay?"

"You're avoiding the question."I won't let her talk herself out of this one.

"Brittany, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to." Quinn has come back into the room and I'm regretting it already.

"Stay out of this Fabray." I hiss.

Quinn stares right back at me, "you're great at manipulating people Santana, you make them feel like they belong to you and that they have to do everything you say. Well you don't own anyone, and no one has to be under your control. Brittany doesn't have to answer to you."

"What is this really about Quinn?" I spit back, "you for one are always meddling in other people's business, and from day one you've been trying make everyone hate me because you have a problem with not being able to deal with things. I confront my problems and that's why you have some personal vendetta against me. And for your information I was just having a private conversation with Brittany, which you were not invited into."

Quinn is fuming and I can see the clogs in her head turning, thinking of a way to get back at me. I smile inwardly because I know I've hit home.

Brittany steps in before Quinn and I go head to head, "you guys stop." She turns to me, "San, I'm always worried about you, but the other night I had a…. feeling that maybe you were in danger. That's why I came. I didn't know it was just Quinn."

"Just Quinn my ass," I retort, "Anyone would mistake her for a serial killer considering the way she stalked me. And that cloak? Totally perfected the image." I joke, but I don't believe for a second Brittany came all this way to make sure I wasn't in danger just on a feeling. She knew without a doubt I someone was after me, but she's not telling me how. It doesn't look like she wants me to know either.

"Brittany," I try to remain calm, "please stay, even if just for one more night. I promise tomorrow I'll take you to the beach and I'll show you all the awesome places around town." What I really want is to keep her here until I find out what Brittany is hiding from me.

"Maybe then you won't want to leave." I add with a smug smile.

Brittany looks to Quinn; they hold their gaze and have some sort of silent conversation. Quinn is shaking her head, it's hardly noticeable but I catch on that she is trying to dissuade Brittany.

Brittany lets out a breath as she decides, "Only if you do something for me."

"Anything," I nod eagerly.

"Help Quinn get the tracker out."

I'm mute because I wasn't expecting that, if it was anyone else I wouldn't hesitate. But not only is Quinn the biggest pain in the ass so why would I want to help her, this is going to involve a reunion I'd rather not see happen.

"Brittany, anything besides that," I tell her, I can't do it.

"I know you don't like each other, but Santana, Quinn needs this." Brittany begs, "Why won't you help her? She wants to be free too."

"This is not about me," I say.

"Please?" Brittany is making those irresistible puppy eyes and doing that pout. "If you really want to help me, Santana, then help Quinn."

"How does this have anything to do with you?" I ask.

Brittany goes wide eyed and Quinn shakes her head. "It does ok?" Brittany says in a small voice.

"Britts? Does this have something to do with your problem?"

She looks at the floor and I have my answer.

"Look Satan, I'm helping your girl here. The least you can do is contribute." Quinn speaks instead.

"Fine, devil, I'll do it; but you'll wish I hadn't." I snap.

At the moment of my consent I'm engulfed in a surprising but not unwelcomed hug. "Thanks San," Brittany whispers, "You're the best."

Naturally I smile, because when Brittany is happy then I'm happy.

"So I guess I should unpack?" Quinn ruins the moment.

"Like you own anything besides that hideous coat," I counter.

Brittany is still smiling from ear to ear. I wonder why Quinn is so important to her.

While the mood is still good, I tell the others I'm going on a shopping spree for food and that they are welcome to tag along. We agree to spend the afternoon enjoying my pool and I insist on cooking dinner. Brittany says ok but I know she's having second thoughts about dinner because she adds, "Or we can just order something."

I take us all to the local market where they sell anything and everything delicious under the sun. Brittany and Quinn disappear immediately only to come back every so often with provisions and ingredients we will never need.

I make sure to get the basic, refrigerator-able items, enough to get us through at least a week. Brittany and Quinn are hyper active bouncing bunnies the entire time. Although they are no help at all and I have to carry everything, I can't help but notice how good Brittany looks, she's healthy and doing ridiculously cute things with that amazing body. I can't figure out what sickness she has. And Quinn is the attention of the town's men with her flattering charm, and my dress that looks like it was made for her. I admit to myself that when we are not at each other's throats, Quinn is a decent person and I can tolerate her "good" crazy.

I finally get Brittany's and Quinn's attention long enough to say I'm headed back to the car. They skip along besides me until we come across a juice vendor. I tell them to get something while I go to the car.

When I get back I'm glad to see the two of them haven't hopped off to someplace else. Brittany is holding out a carrot juice slushy.

"I got you this," she announces, "but we don't have any money sooo…." Brittany is adorable.

I roll my eyes and pay for the three cups and motion for the other two to join me on a bench on the sidewalk.

"What did you get?" I already know but I ask anyways.

"Strawberry, want some?"

I gladly lean over and drink from Brittany's straw not stopping until she is protesting.

"Hey, you're finish it." She huffs.

"Want some of mine then?" I tease before Brittany takes the straw from my fingers and sips my drink, she doesn't stop but I don't protest. Those shining blue eyes have arrested my attention and I don't care about the carrot juice.

"What?" Brittany says when I keep staring into her eyes.

"Nothing," I'm just happy to be with Brittany like this, doing nothing.

"Okay, you two, smiling idiots going to answer my question?" I realize Quinn is saying something.

"What's your question Fabray?"

"So while you two love puppies are making eyes at each other, I'm sitting here looking like a crazy person talking to themselves? You didn't hear anything I said?" Quinn pretends to be annoyed but I know she adores us. Both Brittany and I shake our heads and laugh.

"I was going to ask if you saw that hot guy walk past, but he's gone now and you two probably wouldn't care about a hot guy anyways so now I just want to know when we can hit the pool."

We drive home and "hit the pool" immediately which involves me pushing an unsuspecting Brittany S. Pierce and Quinn Fabray, into the whirlwind of bubbles that is my pool. They start to splash me but are unsuccessful. Brittany wants me to join them because I have an awesome waterfall that flows into and fills the pool, it also gives nice massages but I decline, telling Brittany I'm going to make dinner.

Quinn looks at me funny then looks back at Brittany, "She can cook? I remember her blowing up our dinner in survival class."

"That's because she did," Brittany responds, "It's probably best we're in the water, if anything Santana will be joining us when her clothes catch fire."

They giggle and I roll my eyes.

It's been half an hour and the dish is ready to be baked. The two doubters are in for a surprise. Contrary to their word, I've always been able to cook, what they meant is I have the tendency to overcook; most of my creations ended up in flames. Once I learnt to "tame" rather than "hone" my culinary skills, I actually enjoyed cooking. I've received many a compliment before, but tonight I wonder if my dish of choice, Lasagna, will impress Quinn and Brittany; especially Brittany.

I put the two trays of Lasagna into the perfectly heated oven, after which I set the table complete with candles and pre-chilled wine in an ice bucket. It'll take another fifteen minutes for the dish to cook just right.

I venture outside into the dimming light, I never miss a sunset and today it looks extra beautiful. Not because it's different from any other day but today, I get to see it in the reflection of crystal blue eyes; it's all the more magical.

When the sun has disappeared into the ocean, I nudge Brittany who is leaning on my shoulder. My timer has gone off signaling that I should go finish up in the kitchen.

"I was just getting comfortable San," Brittany says as she tugs the now damp towel tighter around her frame.

"Ba…..Brittany," I almost let slip, "my watch says I'm needed in the kitchen, and it's getting chilly, you should come inside now."

"Five more minutes," she wraps her arms around me so we're pressed together, the sodden towel creating wet marks on my shirt.

"If the food burns, it's your fault not mine Britts."

She makes a pouty face but moves gets up, pulling me with her. Hand in hand we walk into the house. Quinn who has been watching silently in a distant mood follows us.

The two girls take showers while I set my master piece delicacy into intricately painted China dishes. I had them shipped here when I was in the orient. When everything looked perfect I turned off the main lights and dimming the lamps just enough to give the room a tepid ambiance.

I make my way upstairs and unexpectedly bump into Brittany who is halfway to my room clad in a towel. The loosely wrapped cloth slips to her waist.

"I'm sorry I didn't see you," I try not to look, but there's not much to see anyways in the dark hallway. Brittany wraps herself back up and mentions something about turning on the lights.

Once I've illuminated the hallways, Brittany walks with me to my room. She needs something to wear and I wouldn't mind seeing her in one of the gorgeous gowns hanging in my walk-in closet. I leave her to gape at the endless garments in my wardrobe while I take a quick shower.

My quick shower isn't so prompt after all, its half an hour before I emerge unsoiled from head to toe. I'm not at all prepared for the sight my eyes land upon. In the reflection of my dressing mirror is an angelic appearance. A light pink feathery dress flows like silk to the ground. Its low-cut neck flaunts a copious chest and the way it clings in all the right places showcases a flawless figure. The heels only give her extra poise and add to the comely sight.

I feel the weight of my jaw as I pick it up from the ground. Brittany is a hundred shades of pink that I think compliment her look just right.

"Do I have you're approval?" She questions teasingly but I know she's serious. Brittany is always confident yet she never fails to ask me for the final word.

"Always," I breathe out, unable to form a compliment.

On the bed I notice a black dress lain out and I'm certain it's for Quinn. Brittany may have a weird taste in everyday clothing but she's a maestro at getting it just right for special occasions.

I must have zoned out while I admired Brittany because I don't realize she's so close to me until her hand is playfully wiping at the edge of my mouth with the tip of my towel, "you got some drool there," she chuckles.

"Do not," I swat her hand away in good humor.

Brittany laughs some more and I enjoy every last one till she's out of my room waving the black dress and saying she hopes I'll be able to measure up. I smile to myself because she'll have no idea what's hit her when I make my appearance.

I dress quickly in one of my favorite dresses and put on a light touch of make-up. My unruly hair takes a little longer to rein in but when I'm done it flows beautifully in waves down my left shoulder. I give my lips a final smack before I stroll downstairs.

Brittany and Quinn are standing by admiring my handiwork displayed on the table when I make my entrance. Their eyes are immediately on me, and I know I look amazing.

"Red makes you look so hot," Brittany comments not tearing her eyes from my body. The dress is tight and shows off my shapely figure. Quinn looks away and suppresses a smile, "Not bad Santana, if looks could kill, Brittany over there is surely gone judging by her shameless ogling."

I know that's the best compliment Quinn is going to give me so I nod in acknowledgement. "You actually look classy for once," I reply. She rolls her eyes but smiles freely.

"Well shall we?" I motion to the table. I pour wine for everyone as Brittany and Quinn take their first bites. I'm a little nervous waiting to see how they react.

"Santana, you've really improved." Quinn remarks as I let out a breath I just realize I've been holding.

"Are you kidding?" Brittany chimes in, "this is like the best thing I've ever tasted. In China I thought you said you didn't cook."

"I never said that," I quickly respond, "I didn't cook there because I tend to get elaborate in the kitchen and that was not the time."

"How did this miracle happen?" Quinn questions.

"I was on a mission," I explain, "It called for an undercover chef."

"And they picked you," Quinn cuts in before I can finish, "I mean I'm not the best but I could make edible food."

"I was surprised too," I choose to ignore the cutting remark; "they said they didn't have anyone else to do the job so they took a risk." I take a sip wine before continuing, "turns out I was as horrible as expected so they sent me on a crash course with the best of the best. I came out a pro." I shrug my shoulders like it's no big deal. "Besides being one-on-one with the head chef helped me get to the culprit faster, the guy who almost poisoned the Vietnamese Tycoon was the head chef's helper; discovered him doing shady business behind the chef's back."

"You're totally a super hero San," Britt beams and digs into the lasagna like there's no tomorrow. Quinn nods and says "I'm impressed."

Dinner continues for awhile, we make small talk and I open another bottle of wine. Quinn apparently acquired some skills of her own as she speaks knowledgably differentiating the types of wine and expounds their medical effects.

We relocate to the comfortable couches in my lounge with another bottle of wine. At this rate some of us may get tipsy and it's possible some things may be said unintentionally, which is good because I still need to know what it is Brittany is hiding from me.

As we ease ourselves onto the soft yet firm couches and lay back, I propose we make a game of our conversation.

"How about, we each take a turn asking a question in which the questioner and the two others have to answer truthfully? I know we've known each other since forever but these past five years we've grown apart and well, it'll be nice getting reacquainted." I say and hope the others agree.

"Fine, I'll go first," Quinn volunteers, "It's not something to do with our lives in the last half decade, but I've always wanted to know, what were your first thoughts meeting each other for the first time."

"Easy!," Britt exclaims, "First time I saw Santana, we were in that waiting room and I was trying to figure out the lighting. Then San walked in and she looked at me in an evil way, I thought she wanted to eat me or something. So I guess I was scared of her."

"Hey I still want to eat you," I joke before she can go on. Quinn pretends to throw-up.

"That's different," Brittany blushes before continuing, "Then the next day I met Quinn at the cafeteria, she said that if I put strawberries in my yogurt it could turn it bad. I threw it out and put cornflakes in instead. So I the first thing I thought was that Quinn was pretty smart."

"Wait Britts," I stop her, "I don't even say anything to you and you're scared of me, but Quinn here says some bullshit to tease you and you think she's smart?"

"Sorry Santana," Quinn laughs, "It's not anybody's fault your bitchiness is the first thing to be noticed."

"Shut up Fabray."

"Well if it makes you feel better," Quinn begins, "When I first saw you I tried to figure out what exotic Island you hailed from seeing as you were part of the Cocoa colored minority."

"How is that a compliment?" I roll my eyes. Brittany chuckles good naturedly at our banter, she's so used to it she doesn't try to intervene.

"Then there was Brittany," Quinn goes on, "at first I could only think about how her legs went on for days, but to be more informative I'll say that after watching the two of you attached at the hip I wondered how a special person like Brittany would ever want to be around you, Santana."

"She realized that you were the bigger bitch and avoided you like the plague, plus I was always nice to Britts" I bite back.

"Already trying to get in her pants?" Quinn replied, "Because you were ruthless with everyone else."

"Please, you said it yourself, Britts is special." I pull a grinning Brittany in for a hug and we stay cuddled up as I say my piece. "Britts, I didn't mean to scare you when we met. It's just that you looked so sweet and it's fun to you know play with innocent people. But after living with you for one day and when you told me about your doorphobia, I couldn't. I always thought you were special though Britts, good special. I wouldn't let anyone else hurt you because of that."

"And you," I direct to Quinn, "before I forever thought of you as _that bitch_, I actually wished you were my roommate. You had some weird sinister-ness about you that I was attracted to."

"Wow, Santana, your gay was showing all the way back then." Quinn jabs.

"No one knows they're gay at 14," I reply, "back then I was attracted to girls and attracted to guys, I made out with a mannequin, I even had a sex dream about a shrub that was just in the shape of a person."

"Raging hormones much?"

"Hey when puberty hits it's uncontrollable." I shrug.

Brittany's been awfully quiet the past ten minutes so I check to see she's still awake. She isn't asleep but she looks zoned out and a little intoxicated, now is the perfect time.

"So, my turn," I announce, "if there is one thing that's happened to you within the past five years with Millenicon that you wished hadn't happened, what is it?" I word carefully, hoping that Brittany doesn't think it's a trick question.

Apparently Quinn doesn't catch on because she's rattling off about some kid named Beth and how the Mohawk boy named Puck is the father, which I didn't know happened, and how she wishes Beth wasn't sent away to a foster family.

Brittany is deep in thought, as her furrowed brows indicate.

"I heard some people were paired up for missions, I wish I wasn't always singled out. If I had a chance to do one with Brittany, we'd be able to get out faster, and together." Although I loved to work alone, I meant it; Brittany and I were a great team, we could have been Millenicon's prized duo and I we would have been together.

"I wish I wasn't chosen," Brittany mumbles quietly.

"Chosen for what?" I feel her secret about to be revealed because Quinn's eyes widen, but Brittany speaks before Quinn can stop her.

"To be their experiment."

"What did they do to you?" I demand to know, if Brittany was their guinea pig for some discovery it couldn't be good.

Brittany remained tight lipped as tears start to fall from her eyes.

"Look what you've done Santana? Can't you ever just respect people's private lives? She's not telling you for a reason." Quinn angrily berates as she tries to calm Brittany down.

"I'm sorry Santana," Brittany says, "I should be able to tell you what happened but I can't because I know how it's going to affect you. I love you too much to put you through that. I'm tired so I'm going to sleep now, goodnight."

Brittany kisses me on the cheek and walks up the stairs. I don't realize I'm crying until I see Quinn handing me a tissue. "Nice try Santana, come on I'll help you clean the table."

We work silently, till the dining room and kitchen is spotless. "Thanks Quinn," I'm glad for her assistance. "Can't you tell me what's troubling Brittany?" I confront her for the final time.

"I understand where you're coming from Santana, and really I think in some roundabout way you knowing might actually help her but it's not my place to tell you. If Brittany doesn't want you to know then there's nothing I can do."

"Just tell me than if it's _that_ bad, please, and if I can do anything to help her." My tears come back in full force as I slip to the floor, broken and useless. Brittany is my whole world, she's hurting and so am I; the worst part is I can't do anything about it.

"I'm sorry Santana," I hear for the second time of the evening. Quinn leaves to check on Brittany and I tell her I'll follow in a little bit. Tomorrow I have a promise to keep and then they leave, just like that. My life filled up only to be punched and emptied again in one short week. I fear I won't ever recover.

I say goodnight to Quinn, and check on Brittany who has changed into a comfortable top and shorts. She breathes unsteadily like she's slipping in and out of her unconscious state willing to stay in the reality but fighting a losing battle.

Quinn follows me to my room holding both her and Brittany's dress.

"Thanks for lending these to us, they're beautiful." Quinn hangs them back up as I slip out of my dress and put on a hoodie and shorts.

"The two of you wore those better than I ever did," I respond. This feeling is quite new, having a functional, normal conversation with my former worst enemy.

Quinn smiles and walks past me to leave, muttering a goodnight and thanks for being so accommodating. It reminds me, I have my part of the deal to fulfill.

As Quinn closes the door I dial my phone and turn on my laptop.

"Hey Hiro, how are you doing?"

"Need my services already?"

"Good call," I say

"Well that's the only reason I can think of for you to call me."

"right," I reply, "well this is kind of urgent a long time ….. friend just popped by and she's only staying for a few days at the most so, do you think you could come?"

"where?" he asks me, he knows I never stay in one place for very long.

"I'm booking your flight right now, and sending you the confirmation email with the details. It's for 4am tomorrow for you, is that ok"

"Do I have a choice?" He laughs loudly. "Don't worry, I know you wouldn't call me if you didn't really need me. So girlfriend down, who else is in need of saving?"

I don't know how to tell him he's going to meet up with the love of his life who he means nothing to; I figure I'll spill when I pick him up at the airport tomorrow. "It's just someone I owe."

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

"Hey thanks for doing this, really, after this I'm going to owe you."

"Never," he says, "you make my life exciting, always waiting for your next call."

Hiro never fails to make me laugh, I'm lucky he's my friend. We small talk for a while and I ask about Artie. Before he can answer I hear a blood curdling scream. It's Brittany I decipher from her high pitched voice. Apparently Hiro has heard it too because he asks if I have a baby in the house. I tell him I'll explain everything tomorrow and hang up.

I've never run so fast in my life, except for that time I told Brittany I loved her before drugging her in China.

"What's going on?" I'm scared; I've never heard Brittany scream like that before. Quinn is already by Brittany's bedside talking into her ear and calming her down. "It's alright Britt, it's just the flashes, tell me what you saw."

"Beth," Brittany struggles to catch her breath. "I saw Beth, Quinn, they were….." she's crying now, "you need to save her Quinn, she's going to die."

* * *

><p><strong>AN **

What do you guys think so far? Any suggestions


	9. The Scary Truth

**Chapter 8**

I'm shocked and scared at the same time to witness what is before me. I've never seen Brittany this distressed or so much in pain, it seeps through her eyes, her tears drop onto the bed. Quinn no longer has her arm around Brittany to comfort her, but she's backed herself into the corner and is shaking uncontrollably. I feel like I am the only one who is not reacting to the situation.

I run to Brittany and sweep her into my arms, pressing her head against my heart. The muscle in my chest is beating fast but it brings her sobbing and shaking down to a controlled level until the only sound I hear from her is a slight sniffle. I rock her back and forth for a few moments, relishing the closeness and running the worse case scenarios through my head faster than the scenes change in an action movie. I've had enough of not knowing what is going on, why Brittany is screaming like a crazy person or why Quinn has slid to the floor shedding unending tears.

Once I'm sure Brittany will not have another panic attack, for my lack of better words to describe her fit, I crawl off the bed towards Quinn and cradle her thin, crumbling frame. She keeps repeating words I can't quite make out, "my Beth, no, save her, please God," the amplified nasal sound of her voice hinders me from completely understanding what is playing in her head. But I can deduct that someone named Beth is in trouble, I got that much from Brittany, but hearing her say it on repeat has me thinking there is more going on than I realize.

To help both girls return to a semi-regular emotional state, I offer to make them hot cocoa and suggest sitting by the pool. It's high time someone filled me in, and I am not willing to ride this rollercoaster any longer.

I make sure Quinn and Brittany are warm enough wrapped in thick blankets before fetching the hot drink. They sip in silence lost in thought. Patience has never been a virtue of mine but I hold my questions till one of them speaks up. Quinn finishes and places her cup down on the mahogany table and begins to observe the stars. Her lips whisper softly into the night air, I believe she's praying for something or someone up there to protect the one she loves. Brittany empty's her cup too and fiddles calmly with her fingers, I feel the atmosphere shift and maybe it's safe to ask now.

"I really need to know what is going on. What happened in that room is beyond some little secret shared between the two of you," they both have their faces set in stone and I can't read into their minds, "you both need help, and whether you like it or not, the only person you have to do that right now is me."

Quinn and Brittany open their mouths to speak but the latter closes hers.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, but the news of Beth hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't know how to react. I …. Right now I can't explain anything to you; the only thing I can think of is how I'm going to save my baby. I'm sorry right now I just have no words," Quinn breaks down once again, I've never seen her so vulnerable.

"You're right Santana," Brittany picks up when Quinn can't continue, "you deserve to know the truth, and I'm not going to think about what this will mean for us because this is something you should know." Her eyes are uncertain as they flicker to mine, "two years ago, Millenicon used me in an experiment to transplant a chip into my brain. Something went wrong though and I've been suffering from the side effects ever since. Most times they don't scare me too much, they are just like bad dreams; the sting doesn't hurt too much either when I get the flashing under control. Quinn has been helping me learn to block the visuals out before they become too much." She breaks to gauge my reaction so far, "but tonight, I couldn't stop it, I saw Beth and the pain overwhelmed me."

I'm trying to comprehend the words as they spill out of Brittany's mouth, the true state of her condition is alarming, and I don't quite understand everything yet.

"Slow down Brittany, what exactly did they put in your brain? What for, what does it do? What went wrong? How serious are the side effects?"

"If you want answers you're gonna have to hold your horses," Quinn laughs out and I am a little relieved she is not going to fall into depression yet.

"I'll give it to you the professional way," she says authoritatively , "what they put in Brittany was a visual diffusing chip, they wanted to test it out as a new communication method, to create instructional pictures in the mind of the subject for the subject to follow. It takes brainwashing to a whole other level. The test failed somehow, I presume from my own scans of Brittany's brain that the chip itself was defective and before they could get it out it shattered. Pieces of it are forever lost in every corner of Brittany's mind." Quinn pauses to catch her breath; I shake my head in disbelief.

"So what are the effects?" I've been looking at Brittany this whole time, trying to imagine the things she goes through.

"Now, somehow, the shards collect images from Brittany's memory and project pictures into her brain waves, she sees depictions as very quick flashes, they happen so fast that her brain doesn't have enough time to process an image before it moves to the next, resulting in high intensity brain freeze, or in other words migraines of the worst level." Quinn finishes, and I push back the implications of horror clamming in my throat. What inflicts Brittany is so terrible I don't know how to cope with the knowledge.

"And the images, what are they like?" I'm almost too afraid to ask.

"Different things, I usually see a person then things surrounding them. Like when I saw you, I saw a shadowy figure too, I saw the patterns of the street walls, I saw it was dark with light only coming from a dim source, I saw a struggle between you and the figure, and then I couldn't handle to pain, I woke up and knew you were in danger, that's why I came for you." Brittany's voice has dropped low like she is reliving a terrifying dream and doesn't want to vocalize it for fear it will become real. "I only ever get pictures of bad things."

I don't know what is more shocking, that Brittany is forced to see glimpses of appalling situations or that Brittany can see into the future.

"But how….?" It shouldn't be possible; I don't even think the technology in Brittany's brain is capable of such things.

"That, I don't know either," Quinn chimes in, "there's no explanation to why Brittany can see things that haven't happened yet. I don't know if her ingenious imagination plays a part in coming up with these real life scenarios but what I do know is that things connected to people in her memory are what show up, and as Brittany said, it only occurs when something bad is about to happen to the person."

"And there is no way of helping her, no way of making the flash forwards go away?" I'm desperate to know, if I have the slightest chance of restoring serenity to Brittany's mind I will go on a scavenger hunt for the solution and not stop till I've helped Brittany recover.

"I'm afraid non-surgically; there is no way to get rid of her condition." Quinn answers as if she's already pondered the alternatives, "I have some possible theories of how to take out the scattered pieces but it's too risky, I don't want to be responsible if she turns out worse, and there would always be the chance of something going wrong during the operation, it's not worth it, I'd never be able to live with myself if I hurt her."

"Quinn talked to me about it," Brittany confirms the other girls sentiment, "she really didn't want to do it and I didn't know if I wanted to either, the chances of getting it right were very slim. So Quinn's been helping me handle it in other ways. She's super smart and she knew me super well without me telling her much. Sometimes I think she can read minds. That'd actually be cool."

"Thanks Britt, but I've told you, I'm a psychologist I learned how to pin point problems through evaluation. I'm only happy that I'm able help you." Quinn smiles at Brittany like a protective older sister, the bond they share puts me somewhat at ease, I know I can trust Quinn with Brittany.

"Britt, thanks for telling me, I understand why you didn't want to but…" I take her hand in mind, squeezing it slightly to let her know I'm being serious, "I want you to know that I will be happy, do you hear that? Happy, to support you and help you in any way I can. You are not a burden, you are my lifeblood, losing you once and almost twice have made me realize…" I feel tears slowly spill and roll over my cheeks "I love you so much Brittany, I'm not so good with expressing all the things I feel but please, don't ever doubt that I love you."

I look into Brittany's eyes and they mirror mine, I see tears but I also see love. Brittany wiggles her hand out of my tight hold and moves to sit on my lap so she can envelop me in a hug that speaks more than the words she's too emotional to say.

"Sorry to ruin the moment," Quinn breaks the sound of sniffling, "I just want to notify you two that I'll be leaving in the morning, I have … stuff to deal with."

"If you're talking about Beth, you can't do it on your own…..it's dangerous."

"You can't! I just made an appointment with Hi…. The person who's going to take out your tracker, they're coming tomorrow." I say at the same time as Brittany.

"You guys don't understand!" Exasperation reeking through Quinn's voice, "Beth, she could…."

"Quinn, sit down!" I have never seen Brittany be so demanding.

"Look, you have a problem, you said yourself using the sedation drug is dangerous. And besides, you'll have to go back to Latvia first to get the drug and who knows if you'll wake up, then you won't ever see Beth again." Quinn receives all this with a distraught face "If you get the tracker removed, you'll be free to go anywhere you want without worrying the drug will wear off and Millenicon being able to find you."

It sounds reasonable and Quinn knows because she doesn't look like she'll object. I'm not sure how I can help influence Quinn to make the right choice.

"We'll do whatever we can to put you at ease while you wait, it'll only be 24 hours at most, and then you can go wherever you want." Brittany nods in agreement with me and whispers a quick thanks in my ear.

"You guys are my best friends, even you Santana, thank you." Quinn smiles and I think I can get to like her if she's like this more often. But I can see that she is still struggling with the decision, like she's in the middle of a champagne problem.

"If I may ask, can I get the story on Beth? She must be really important to you and if I knew a little more I might be able to be more helpful."

"Beth is my daughter," Quinn says in a shaky voice revealing she doesn't talk about her much, "Puck and I were a little late getting on the field action because I was pregnant with Beth."

"Is she in trouble?" I look towards Brittany.

"I had a dream about her, she …." Brittany glances to Quinn for approval to continue. Quinn says she wants to hear the details again so Brittany goes on. "I saw Beth, dressed in her school girl clothes and drinking milk, she had some on her nose… Quinn, she looks just like you." The comment breaks Quinn's melancholic face; a tear escapes as she thinks about her daughter.

"Then a man in a car was honking his horn, I think he was driving her to school, anyways I saw her open the front door and then an explosion. The whole house was in flames, it was so real it woke me up." Brittany finishes almost apologetically, as if fighting to stay unconscious would have revealed more details.

I can see Quinn process everything as I go over the scenario in my head for a third time. It must be hard for her to hear in explicit detail how the daughter of her own blood is going to die; even I don't stomach it well hearing how a young girl's fate is cruelly decided.

"How old is she Quinn?" I venture to ask. "Six, almost seven" she responds just as curtly.

I get up and drag Quinn into my arms, "don't worry ok? We are going to figure this out, we'll save Beth if that's the last thing we do. I won't let an innocent little girl die if I can stop it." Brittany comes and wraps her arms around both of us, promising to help in any way she can.

We part and all agree we should go to sleep. I'm holding Brittany's hand as we reach the top of the stairs and I'm not sure if I should let go or pull her to follow me, I don't even know if she wants to come. Quinn doesn't even turn around when she says goodnight and enters her room so I'm left with Brittany in front of her room, I want to ask if maybe she wants to share a bed but I can't voice it. She seems to read my thoughts when she squeezes my hand to get my attention which is currently scrutinizing the floor fiercely.

"Hey, Sanny?" I look up to see her grin slightly at my obvious avoidance, "I miss cuddling with you too."

The way she can read my mind is too accurate and I laugh at how she can make me feel so much at ease. "I could always…. We could cuddle … if you wanted to that is, but if you're tired, which I think you are, then you know another day would be fine too." At this point I can't even speak properly, not when I have Brittany looking at me the way she looks at fluffy, stuffed animals; like she can't wait to take them home or in this case, have me in her bed.

"I love it when you're not so word smart; it makes you a little more like me," Brittany swings our hands playfully. "I'd love to get our sweet lady hugs on but I don't want to scare you if I fall asleep and you know, have another bad dream."

"That's what I'm here for, to comfort you when you wake up from them, I want to take care of you Brittany, to make up for all the years I didn't get to." "Plus the years I was too worried about myself to care of you." I say in a slight whisper.

"Hey, I'm not handicapp," Brittany jokes as she lets go of my hand and opens the door to her room.

"That's not what I meant Britt."

"I know, it's just you worry too much."

I smile because I know how true it is.

"I worry about you too; you aren't the only one who cares." My heart swells and I nod in acknowledgement. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't care."

"Exactly," she boops my nose, "not that I don't want to be with you tonight but I don't think either of us will get much sleep if we're together. And god knows we need sleep to function tomorrow. I know for a fact someone is a Little Miss Grumpy when she doesn't get enough, plus you have a promise to keep."

I know she's right so I say goodnight and walk away not wanting to drag things out any longer, I know my resolve will crumble and then so will hers.

Not more than 4 hours after I finally fell asleep I'm awakened again by my phone alarm. I'm used to waking up early but because of last night's stress I don't feel rested at all. I reluctantly get out of bed and dress for my usual morning run. I leave a note on Brittany's bed-side table before leaving the house since both she and Quinn are still asleep.

It's nice to jog on the beach again; somehow it is more refreshing, more familiar, and puts my mind more at ease. It gives me a sense of normal even though I know life hasn't been normal since Brittany and Quinn reappeared. I don't plug my ears with music when I run on the beach because I enjoy the sounds of the waves crashing; it's calming and peaceful especially at the crack of dawn when only a few early risers like me find solace before the daily buzz.

I stop to take a water break and check my iphone for the day's tasks. An exclamation mark notifies me I have to pick Hiro up at 11. I would have preferred it to be sooner but that was the earliest flight I was able to book, I already owe him double for having to fly at 4am on my demand. I pick my butt back off the bench I've been sitting on and start my half an hour jog back home. My mind is now alert and in business mode. Today I have to pick up Hiro, I have to deal with a really awkward situation when he meets Quinn again, the operation will take about an hour if indeed Hiro is still willing to operate on her after I've deceived him in helping Quinn, then Quinn will probably be out cold for the rest of the afternoon which will leave me to show Brittany around like I promised. Just the thought of being alone with Brittany for a whole afternoon arouses tingles in my stomach. It feels like fate is finally giving me a break, and I wonder if an afternoon spent together is meant to be more than that. What am I thinking? It might be too soon, but I can't deny that it would be a perfect opportunity to take Brittany out to a nice dinner, maybe it can be like a date?

I'm at the threshold of the stone stairs leading up to my property on the hill, most of my jog back was spent having a huge game of tug of war in my mind about whether or not it would be appropriate to ask Brittany out, to do things properly for the first time. I'm pretty sure of my feelings for her, and I'm sure she feels the same way, but the hesitation in my mind is counter-arguing with my heart. Maybe she'll despise me for making a move too soon.

I'm still undecided when let myself back into the house, I figure I'll just take things as they go and if I have the courage or if it feels right to ask in the moment than I'll have the courage to do so.

"Morning," The cheery voice is unmistakably Brittany, ever the morning person. I greet her back. She tries to hug me but I side step and quickly tell her I've been out jogging, smiling apologetically. Brittany tells me to hurry up and shower so she can give me my hugs. It's a great incentive because I love her hugs and she knows it too.

I shower in record time, in a hurry to get my hugs and mug of coffee. I saw Brittany brewing a pot of strong, black, just how I like it. While I dry my hair I wonder if she knows it's my favorite or if that's how she has hers too.

When I make my way into the kitchenette where I was expecting Brittany to be, I'm disappointed to not see her, but that soon fades when I see my special coffee mug set on the counter with a post it stuck on the side reading, "come join me by the pool." I pour myself a cup of the strong brew while mesmerized how Brittany manages to know everything about me.

"Hey Britt, thanks for making this." I point to my mug. She motions for me to sit next to her on the wooden swing under the flowering trellis.

"No problem, you drink black coffee right?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking how you knew that and how you also knew about this." I refer to my mug once again.

"Well, on my visits to see Quinn she'd sometimes teach me things about people. She told me once how people who are ambitious and like to get straight to business, no dilly dallying, don't like fancy things but will choose the simple, practical things instead. You seem to be like that a lot, so I guessed you'd drink black."

"You are … so smart." Brittany always had special insight when it came to people, she wasn't the typical smart girl but she was a genius in her own right, "And the mug?"

"Big, black mug with the words 'you have to believe in yourself' screened in red? I imagine you wake up every morning to that mug and reminder."

"The way you know so much about me is a little scary Britt."

We both share a laugh and finish our coffees in silence, enjoying the other's companionship.

"Where's Quinn?" I ask Britt as we work in the kitchen, her on cleaning the mugs and coffee pot, and I on pancakes for breakfast.

"She had a rough night so she's sleeping in, I checked on her fifteen minutes ago."

Receiving the information and choosing to tease Brittany a little bit I reply, "well someone else had a pretty rough night too, I wonder why they were up at six in the morning smiling so bright I thought the sun had decided to rise in my kitchen instead of the sky?"

Brittany blushes a light pink before admitting she woke up early in hopes of maybe sneaking to my room for a surprise cuddle but seeing as I wasn't there had resorted to taking a walk down the beach instead.

"I was on the beach," I say a little surprised, "I didn't see you."

"Well I saw you, and maybe thought you'd enjoy a cup of coffee when you got back so I returned before you noticed apparently."

This is why I love Brittany, every time she does something sweet and thoughtful I fall in love with her just a little bit more. "I guess I was wrapped up in my own little world on my jog, funny you still wanted to hug me when you knew I'd be sweaty and gross."

"I always want to hug you," Brittany beams me her sugar sweet smile and I melt just that much more.

Quinn joins us in the kitchen and starts to fry some pancakes, usually I wouldn't let anyone work in my space because I know the consequences of having a bad cook; I blew up an oven once. Apparently Quinn can handle a small stove so I let her finish.

After breakfast I tell Quinn and Brittany that I'm going to the airport; it's a little early but I need to get a few things done first. The two others don't suspect anything so they say they'll stay occupied while I'm gone. Quinn asks to use my computer to which I show her my impressive underground lab, it's not that big but it's equipped with adept hardware, plus the decorum gives off a shady business vibe. Before I leave, I pull Brittany aside to tell her about Quinn and Hiro's history. She understands immediately and assures me she'll have Quinn prepared for the confrontation. I let Brittany know I'm grateful for her help and she reminds me that she always has my back.

Brittany walks me to the front door and kisses me on the cheek softly, wishing me God speed and good luck with Hiro. I don't know if I should kiss her back or not but I do and she blushes. I feel like I will never understand how to be comfortable with affection.

I have roughly an hour and a half before I have to get Hiro so I start on my date plans, not that I'm sure it'll really be a date but I want today to be perfect for Brittany whether it counts or not. First stop dinner reservations. It sounds silly to be reserving a table for dinner at nine-thirty in the morning, but this restaurant is one of best in the area and has limited seating, I'm not leaving anything to luck. Next, I go to the open market where some local musicians find leisure in playing for people passing by, I put in a special request and give my reason; they love it and won't shut up about me being a romantic. I have just enough time to pop into Bar Ercolano and ask my friend Joaquin for a favor which he promises to fulfill only if I tell my "love story" to the guys, who are my buddies, one day. These people will forever be hopeless romantics, and it seems like they've started to rub off on me.

The trip to the airport isn't long, and time can't fly faster at the moment; I still don't know how to break the news to Hiro who could come through arrivals any minute now. I've yet to form a good introduction when my phone rings, it's my home number.

"How are you ladies enjoying your morning in paradise?" I greet playfully.

"Santana!" I remove the bud from my ear for a second at the screech, "Brittany may be in paradise swimming with the duck floaty I don't even know why you own, but do you know the hell I've been through trying to figure out your system? Now I need a password! Why do you always have to be so complicated!"

"Whoa, hold it Fabray, you could have called sooner if you couldn't handle the awesome; or is your ego too big for that?"

"Hey, my skills may be a little rusty but I figured it out didn't I?"

"I don't know Quinn; if you figured it out I guess you wouldn't be calling to ask for my help. Are you trying to hack my computer now? Cus I can hear the keys tapping, good luck with breaking the password."

"No that's Brittany, I've been trying for the last 20 minutes and I'd rather not waste anymore of …."

"We're in!" I hear an excited voice from the other side squeal.

"Ok, your girls got some mad skills Lopez, she got it like in under one minute."

"Yeah she's crazy good," I respond but I'm blown away as to how Brittany could have cracked the code so fast. "Hey, did Brittany say anything to you yet?"

"About what? I told you she's been in the pool all morning so unless I was supposed to decipher something from her conversation with her new yellow friend, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Whoops, I forgot Sanny, gonna have the talk right now." I hear Brittany interject while she is clearly still probing into my computer system.

"Are you on speaker phone or something?"

"Ok, you guys what talk?" Quinn's frustration makes its way through the line I'd rather not be on right now.

"Hey, you guys have a nice chat ok? I think I see our man coming now, bye." I quickly hang up before Quinn can start getting crazy. Sure enough as I pocket my phone Hiro comes bounding up to me with a rolling suitcase in tow.

"Hey girl how are things going? How's Brittany?"

I assure him my life is fine right now and that things with Brittany are looking up and he seems to be in a good mood today which is, at least, one thing going my way. I tell him to put his stuff in the back seat then fire the engine to get us going.

"Never been to Italy before, it's a really scenic place."

"Yup," I respond while thinking of a way to broach the subject, "so you know, thanks for flying out here on such short notice."

"no prob, this feels like vacation already."

"Is Artie that intolerable?"

"You are a bitch sometimes Santana," Hiro says good humouredly. I shrug because it's nothing I haven't heard before.

"Actually Artie has been a great assets, he's one of the reasons why the others let me out today; he's very smart and computer savvy, a total natural."

"I'm glad to know he's doing well," I say in all sincerity.

The drive continues; I don't know how to tell him about Quinn and my time is running out. I decide to take the direct route.

"How would you feel if you had a blast from the past?"

"Depends who it is," Hiro answers not particularly alarmed by the sudden question.

"Charlie."

"What?"

"The person who needs you to remove her tracker today is Charlie," he's dumbfounded so I continue, "her real name is Quinn, she came to me for help and I'm sorry I didn't tell you first but I thought you wouldn't come if I did and it's really important to her."

Hiro has a smile on his conflicted face, like he's still trying to process all that I've said. "You really don't know how to let a guy down lightly do you?" He jokes. I know he's trying to stay calm when I've stirred a sea of emotions inside of him.

"Clemency is not my best attribute, but really I'm sorry I've sprung this on you."

"It's ok Santana," Hiro shakes his head and looks directly in my eyes, "it'll be good for me … to get closure. I think it's a good thing you left out that major detail or, as you predicted, I might not have come."

"Just tell me how I can make it up to you ok?" I say as we reach my gate, "we're here."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, school is back in full force and I'm on a tight schedule writing a chapter a day for my other story (Twenty-five days of Christmas).<strong>  
><strong>After the season I should be able to get back to this story. <strong>

**Thanks for the awesome reviews, i hope this was a good chapter for you guys:) **


	10. Will you?

**I'm happy to say I'm back to writing this story YAY! For anyone who's been waiting for an update, here is a super super (I really mean it) long chapter for you. It's to thank you for waiting patiently while I finished my other story, which I'm so glad is over because that was physically draining. **

**Enjoy! **

**Recap: Santana and Brittany have recently been reunited after being separated for 10 years when they worked for Millenicon (a secret government agency). Santana goes rogue after only a year, and since she's never really forgotten her teenage sweet-heart, she spends the next ten years looking for her. When they meet again things don't go as planned. They can still feel the bond between them but over the years things have happened such as Brittany having a boyfriend as part of her latest mission. Brittany also has a strange condition which is the result of having been a testing rat for the agency, but the failed test leaves her with a terrible side effect. In the picture is also Quinn whom Santana has hated from day one but is now tolerating for the sake of Brittany and because she's apparently been helping Brittany with her problems for a while. Quinn has also gone rouge but is having a hard time staying under the radar which brings her to Santana. Now, Santana has helped Quinn with her problem but has to help her with another one on Brittany's request. What will happen from here? Will Santana willingly help her long time enemy? Will she be able to help Brittany get better? Will she get her second chance with the girl she's waited so long for? ...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

The house is barren when I lead Hiro in, I hold his sweating hand tight, and I'm feeling a little guilty that I gave him such short notice about Quinn.

I tell him to make himself comfortable in the living room while I look for the girls. I find them down in the basement making some sort of elaborate plan.

"He's here, I'm going to work on lunch while you guys errr get acquainted." Quinn shoots daggers at me and sense it's time to flee.

"You just made a really awkward situation and you don't even have the courage to tell me yourself!"

"Sorry Quinn!" I run like my life is in danger because to tell you the truth an angry Quinn is hazardous. "It's for the best!" I don't know if she's mad it's Hiro or that I chickened out and asked Brittany to drop the bomb, either way, right now I don't want to know.

I'm finished making lunch of left-over, heated, lasagna and working on a salad and dressing that I've become very proud of. One time I made it for a ring leader of the Soviet mafia, and he relished it like God had made it himself, that is of course until he died ten minutes later from the poison.

My playlist shuffles to one of my favorite songs by Alanis Morissette, and I absent mindedly sing along when the chorus hits. I'm so lost in my world that when I turn and grab the salt from the counter I drop it. Brittany is sitting there, smiling and staring shamelessly at me.

"I was just enjoying the show."

I yank off my 'absolute soundproof' headphones and curse them under my breath. "The show, which there wasn't any, is over. You scared me! That is the worst thing you can do, what if I like grabbed a knife and stabbed you out of instinct?"

"Sure, the way you dropped the salt was so terrifying I almost died of suspense."

"You know what I mean Britts."

"Yup, that you are totally paranoid. Hey I came by to help out, but then I got distracted."

"I know I'm attractive and my voice is like pure sex, but thanks for the compliment."

"No, actually I've never seen a weirder looking salad dressing is all, death can distract a person; how do I know you're not plotting to poison us? Get us out of your life for good."

"and I'm the paranoid one, but," I step towards Brittany and place an apron over her head, letting my hands wander down to her waist where I grip her shirt firmly and press her up against the counter, "you know I'll never push you away again."

My breath hits her neck under her ear and I can see her shiver. Although I like to see the effect I have on her, the smell of her cologne mixed with the fresh sweat collecting on her skin is having an effect on me 'down there'.

Since we were already in this severe, sexually tense, position I venture to bring my lips to a part of Brittany's neck that I've been staring at, wanting to taste for god knows how many minutes now. Her breath hitches as I suck several points down her neck and then lick another trail back up to her ear slowly. Her taste is poisoning to my senses, I'm numb and can't feel a thing besides my want of her body against mine right now.

My middle section prickles as I notice Brittany has gotten her hands past my apron and under my tank top, leaving careful touches along my stomach; occasionally dragging the back of her nails up and down the sides. The uncomfortable moisture coating my underpants is driving me to take her right there on the cold, marble counter.

I moan and Brittany seals it off with a kiss that melts my brains. It feels like I'm drowning the more I reciprocate and feel her tongue caress my lips with equal passion. Our hands paint prints anywhere and everywhere skin can be found; our actions becoming less controlled and more primeval. I can't breathe anymore and I know we should take a break from our kissing, but right now doing anything else is not an option, not when Brittany has her hands down my pants and is fingering my doorway to ecstasy. I could die in this moment and be happy.

The moment is interrupted by the sound of two voices talking animatedly about technology which is a real turn off, not that I could be turned off at this point, seconds away from exploding my juices all over Brittany's talented fingers. But the voices turn on the alarms in both our heads as Brittany quickly extracts her fingers and I break my assault on her lips, just in time for me to drop to the floor and grab the abandoned salt shaker, while Brittany leap-frogs over my crouched body to grab the wooden spoon to stir the salad dressing.

"So you two don't have a problem I see," I stand up and replace the salt next to the pepper, catching my breath a bit.

"Oh, we have a problem," Quinn looks at Hiro and he nods, signifying for her to continue. "We have a problem with you and your sly ways."

They both advance at me like they mean to inflict harm, so I take protection behind Brittany, which is really in front of her since she's facing the sink.

"I'm not the bad guy here! I was just helping!"

They both break out in laughter and I don't find it amusing at all, even Brittany is looking at me with that cheeky smile on her face.

"You are such a baby, San."

"Word," Both Quinn and Hiro high-five and continue laughing.

"Ok, I get it, you both found common ground; making fun of me."

I escape Brittany's arms, how I got there so fast I can't even explain, and I notice Quinn and Hiro keep stealing glances at each other. There is a huge amount of teasing potential there but I decide to wait, making a mental note to get the whole story of the reunion from Quinn first as I usher the two of them out of the kitchen, telling them to wait in the dining room.

"Well that's just too bad they're joining us for lunch, otherwise we could have postponed it for a little later." Brittany has that mischievous sparkle in her eyes, reminding me of our unfinished business.

"Don't worry, I won't be left hanging. I have plans to get what I want."

"So now you want me?" I smirk and wink

We both pick up a dish and head out of the kitchen, I whisper in Brittany's ear when we exit

"And just so you know, I always get what I want."

Lunch goes by without anyone killing each other, which is great. Quinn and Hiro are on good terms, as they tell Brittany and me the plan. Hiro says he can be done setting up the equipment in half an hour and the operation shouldn't take more than an hour, then he'll be out of our hair. It's good but that would mean Quinn becoming conscious after the operation and ruining my plans.

After the meal, I start collecting the dishes but Brittany and Quinn refuse to help let me so I decide to sneak upstairs and sort things out with Hiro.

"Hey, it wasn't too bad was it?"

Hiro who is setting his various tools on the bedside table assures me it wasn't a distasteful experience. "I'm just happy to see her again. She apologized for leading me on, but it was her job. I told her I understood."

Hiro pulls back the bed covers and stacks a few pillows, "I thought all my feelings for her would come up again, that's why I was scared to see her. But I wasn't devastated, I didn't feel empty or like I was letting go of a part of my life I've always held dear. She actually made me smile I told her I really liked her hair cut and she flipped it over her face and in all directions to make it puffy just to make me laugh."

"I'm really glad for you, that this is not turning out as a nightmare. I can feel a little less guilty now."

"Don't be, I know it wasn't the ideal situation for you either to set up a meeting between the two of us."

"About ideal situations," I start to say, trying to not sound like a total sap, "I sort of had plans for this afternoon, that didn't involve Quinn. And now that she's not going to be knocked out for the whole afternoon and evening, ummm my plans are kind of ruined."

"You are talking in riddles, what's your plan? And if it doesn't involve Quinn I assume it doesn't involve me either."

"Well now it actually does involve you," I clear my throat and prepare to turn pink, "I promised to take Brittany sight-seeing, and I may have taken it a little further. I know this is asking way too much of you considering what I've already gotten you into but, I was hoping you could keep Quinn company so that I can… follow through on my plan."

"So basically, I baby-sit so you can take your girlfriend out on a date." Hiro is beaming like he's genuinely happy I've gotten my shit together for once.

"Yeah, except she's not my girlfriend, yet; I mean I want her to but I haven't asked. We've been on the rocks lately."

"Not from what I saw in the kitchen." Hiro licks his lips and smiles knowingly.

I feel my face flush, and I look down to conceal the increasing red color.

"Can we pretend you didn't see that?"

"You are asking a lot of me lately." He cheekily replies.

"What do I have to do for you to forget the kitchen scene and baby sit Quinn?"

"How about, I get to call in a favor any time I want. And you have to do it?"

"Done," I run over and jump on Hiro, wrapping my legs around his waist, "Thanks so much."

Quinn comes up to the room totally prepared for the operation; I can see it in her resolute face. Such a contrast to Brittany who doesn't venture to come into the room but stands in front, leaning on the carved, wood railing overlooking the entrance area.

Hiro motions towards the bed where Quinn positions herself comfortably atop the pillow tower. There's not anything else really to do but I ask anyway in the process of calming down my frayed nerves. It's Hiro who finally shoves me out after Quinn has mentioned multiple times that Brittany can't wait to get out of the house, "go get your girl," is the last thing I hear from the duo before the door slams and I'm all alone with 'my girl'.

Great, this is just; no actually my nerves are killing me. Of course, I was chilled and relaxed a few minutes ago when I 'accidently' caught Brittany's hand and pulled her along behind me as we skipped towards my sports car like we were teenagers excited to drive off to our first concert where we'd let loose and maybe do some stuff that wasn't planned. I was trying not to be too forward about this maybe being a 'date' thing; not that it could be because I didn't really ask Brittany out, or did it count when I off-handedly said "you, me, out on the town, what do you say?"

Ok, so I'm not trying to over think here because what if this is a disaster? But we're kind of close to our first destination which I refused to give Brittany any clues of and I'm getting that weird feeling in my stomach. Is she going to think it's too much or not enough? You see, I pretty much told her that I'd had some special stuff planned and she got super excited and when she gets excited about stuff like she is now, it reminds me of all the times I gave her presents on her Birthday, or was extra sweet to her to make up for being nasty to others behind her back. It reminds me that we had all this way back then; that things hadn't really changed, that with all my imperfections I could still make her happy; and me? It goes without saying, if Brittany is happy then I am. So, rumor has it that no one can resist the 'Lopez Charm', but I can't help the nerves, I want this to be perfect for Brittany.

"umm San?"

"What?"

"We've been parked here for about five minutes, are we getting out or…"

"Oh, yeah I'm sorry, you just stay put."

I snap off my seat belt and run quickly to the other door, opening it with a grand waving gesture. Brittany seems to enjoy my role play as she quickly adds on, "let the tour begin Mr. Chauffeur-turned-guide."

"This is the other side of the market place," I continue my role, now with the additional informative voice. "I know you liked the edibles market yesterday but I thought you'd also like this side; they sell lots of interesting things, souvenirs, expensive cloths, photographs, artwork, handmade jewelry, beautiful clothes, and basically everything a young lady like yourself could desire."

"Really? What I really desire right now is for a certain beautiful local to show me all her favorite places."

An hour and several shopping bags later, I'm about ready drop. Do not underestimate me, I am a champion shopper, I see what I want and get it, a very methodical way of buying things in an open market like this, but that is not Brittany. First, she saw a cute hat which I bought for her without hesitation because well, it was really cute and it complemented her personality perfectly which is important when buying accessories. Then we got a couple of dresses from my favorite tailor who may or may not have put me in one of those unspeakable situations, where she assumes Brittany is my girlfriend and will not let me interrupt her ongoing complements about Brittany's figure and how a myriad of her dresses will make Brittany look simply beautiful. After a while I just let it go, maybe it was a good thing, Brittany didn't seem to mind anyways.

That wasn't the end; we got some shoes that I could not find a single occasion for wearing, a few tops that should be illegal because if anyone saw Brittany in them they would die, if not from the sight then from me busting their faces for leering. And also Brittany got a bikini, saying that she needed one of her own. We'd been running from shop-to-shop literally, getting something only to run back to a previous one to get something to match, or something for me to match with her since she thought that was cute and I can't resist cute.

Back to 'Camille's Cove of sexy swimwear' where of course, when I thought this was my lucky day, Brittany tells me to wait outside while she gets a "barely covering my ass two piece" in her words; she wants it to be a surprise. So I waited and looked at my Rolex every five seconds because we had fifteen minutes to be at a certain place.

Waiting was never one of my virtues; I practically walked a mile back and forth in front of 'Camille's Cove' pretending not to peek at Brittany through the glass display and trying not to mull over the realization of what I had set-up.

When Brittany finally got out I told her to follow me to my favorite place in the whole Piazza, but she pulls on my laden arms telling me she remembers I didn't get a furry hat like hers.

"Brittany! I don't need one of those," I'm exhausted and eager to make the meet.

"But you do! There was a super cute puppy one with droopy ears that reminded me of you. Please let's go get it so we can have a match to my fuzzy bear one?"

"No….," and here comes the pout, "ok fine! But we have to make this quick."

"Ok, just keep up with me" She shoots off in the wrong direction.

"Brittany! It's the opposite way!"

A hat named 'San pup' and a major detour later, we get to a small outdoor restaurant with rainbow umbrella's shading picnic tables that surround a antique fountain, undecidedly colored from the many coats of over paint.

We get a table and I order us drinks, a strawberry milkshake for her and hand ground original coffee for me. I've barely cooled off when I spot a group of older men in fine suit's lugging their percussion instruments along. For a second I'm glad that the men's legs weren't what they used to be otherwise my plans may have been ruined. The drinks come and I excuse myself for a second with a lame bathroom excuse.

"I'm so glad you made it guys," I greet the band of musicians, even though I'm the one panting.

"So ummm, about the song, I know it…"

The ring leader with the violin speaks up, "We got it Dora, we aren't so young but we've still got the skills to make any music our own."

"It's Santana actually, but just for a moment I thought that maybe I had asked too much…"

"Don't worry, we got it, and I know your name isn't Dora." He winks.

I don't bother getting annoyed at the reference to a cartoon character that looks nothing like me and get back to the table before Brittany thinks I'm up to something.

"This is my all time favorite hang-out spot; it's got that Old Italian country feel with the dully painted buildings and the smell of burning timber in the ovens."

"I see why you like it, must be interesting to watch people live their everyday lives. I mean just sitting here for five minutes I know that the charming Italian owner of that nice apartment is cheating on his wife with the maid."

"Since we are playing the observer, do you recognize the song playing?"

The band of violins, a cello, saxophone and cajon drum have begun to fill the air with sweet notes that surprisingly resemble the modern version of the song. Just when the beat picks up and the chorus starts, Brittany jumps off her chair and grabs my hand.

_Tonight I want all of you tonight, give me everything tonight, for all we know we might not get tomorrow._

The lyrics run through my head as Brittany begins to dance not able to contain her excitement.

"Oh my god, San, how did you know? How did they know?"

"Brittany, just dance, I'll tell you afterwards."

So she does, she lets the free spirit inside her fly free as she twirls and moves her arms as graceful as a swan. People cheer her on, enjoying the free show while I stand mesmerized by the intricate steps she makes look so easy.

"Is that your friend?" a voice from the next table asks, "é una magnifica ragazza."

I nod, although I want to tell him that she's taken. The song ends and Brittany along with the musicians gets a standing ovation from the customers.

"You were amazing baby!" I squeal before I can stop myself.

Brittany shakes her head and tries to form a sentence that only comes out as broken words, "no, you… how?... best thing… I love …," before I can respond she's pressing her lips into mine, trying to tell me everything her words won't.

I break the kiss, "I'm so glad you liked it, I mean I wasn't even sure if they could play that song…"

"How did you know? That's my latest go-to dance song."

"I wasn't snooping or anything, but it was the most played song on your Ipod."

"Not snooping….?"

"You left it in my car!"

"I'm not mad San, thank you for the amazing surprise."

"You know I'll do anything for you."

"Anything?"

"Please don't be thinking of something kinky right now. Come on, let's go to the beach"

Brittany's face lights up at the mention of sand and water, and just like that she is dragging me and the bags back to the car.

The bay is lovely this time of day, although the sun is hot, the water is cold, which is a great excuse to walk along the wave licked shore.

"Why do you live here? It's beautiful but why here, why not in the mountains or a big city?"

"You ask a lot of questions…"

"And you don't ask enough" Brittany interjects; I feel like she's trying to tell me something.

"First of all, I like to keep my tan," Brittany laughs under her breath at my answer. "But umm the real reason is that when I was little, a week before I was sent to Millenicon actually, my parents brought me here. We rented the house and spent the whole week together. It was a big thing for me cus' my dad was a doctor and my mom was an accountant. Most of the time dad worked late at the hospital, and mom had work, which she brought home, till late hours. I didn't see them much, only the notes they left me every day. It's the only way I knew they really loved me, they never missed a single day."

"They died didn't they," Brittany states rather than asks because her parents were gone too; standard procedure. I had tried to track my parents and hers once I got free, but all I found were the condoling 'accident' stories.

"Yeah, that's why I bought the house; it reminds me of them and that week. I felt like I had a family, it was the best week of my life. My dad let me do everything I wanted and he actually did them with me. I tasted my mom's cooking for only like the third time in my life, it was wonderful. That house, it holds all the best memories I have of them."

A small tear drops and I feel Brittany's hands caressing my face, wiping it away. "I'm sorry I asked; I don't want you to be upset."

"It's ok Brittany," I smile at her through moist eyes, "they are good memories, but it's the past. I want to have new memories in that house, not to erase the old ones, but to fill it up with better ones."

"You will," Brittany strokes my back and holds me tight against her chest in the waning light.

"We're going to be late for dinner, let's go." I pull Brittany along the beach back to my house. She looks at me questioningly and I tell her we need to change.

The house is empty as I expected; Quinn left a note on the dining table saying she's going out to eat dinner with Hiro. It's a great development.

I get ready in my room while Brittany gets ready in hers; she went through my wardrobe while I showered. When I'm done, I hurry out, hoping to get a clue on Brittany's choice but she's gone so I run my eyes over a few 'any occasion' dresses and go with a simple black shoulder strap dress that fits loosely, yet falls nicely at my hips and reaches my just to my knees. Not too bold, but certainly not screaming innocent. I find a pair of black suede shoes to match and then do my make-up, and finishing by rumpling my naturally wavy hair to create volume.

There is a knock on my door as I hear Brittany say she's finished and will wait for me downstairs, I yell back that I'm done.

Downstairs there is a sight to behold with Brittany wearing a light-pink strapless dress that puffs at the bottom where it ruffles. It's complimented by a black waist belt that makes my dress go with hers too. Her hair and make-up is simple just adding a touch to her naturally beautiful look.

I nod in approval and she does the same before we head out and I flag a cab.

"Wait, we forgot your car at the beach." Brittany's forehead wrinkles.

"I know; we'll get it later."

Trattoria Antica is one of the best restaurants in Sorrento. It's cozy and intimate without being restrictive. I walk Brittany through the stone-carved entrance and let her take in the vintage décor' while I announce my name at the counter,"Capella."

A man dressed neatly takes us to a window-side table that overlooks a hanging garden with a dozen varieties of flowers.

Brittany seems to be in awe of the whole place, not having said a word since walking in and being seated. The man informs us that our food will be here shortly.

"Do you like it?" uncertainty is probably written on my face.

"Why wouldn't I San? This is like nicer than all the other places my dates have taken me."

I perk up at the word 'date' but I decide not to address it.

"You've been on dates with rich people's sons, you're exaggerating."

"Well, you're here dressed like a Countess in this appealingly snug restaurant. And I'm sure the food is as good as the atmosphere. Trust me; this is the nicest place I've been on a date to."

"So, this is a date?" I blurt, Brittany might not have meant it that way but I have to know that for sure.

"Do you not want it to be?" I don't expect her to answer with a rhetorical question.

A plate of Veal Osso Buco with a side salad is set in front of both Brittany and me before I can form an answer. It is followed by a plate of the best Italian meat balls. Brittany looks like she can devour the food with her eyes the way they grow wide. It comes as no surprise, Trattoria Antica extends its artistic finesse' right down to its dishes.

"It's braised veal shanks," I answer Brittany's questioning look as I sip the glass of Amarone wine the waiter has poured at my request.

"Does it suit your tastes?"

"It's delicious," Brittany licks her bottom lip to taste the sauce on it. It really shouldn't be turning me on.

"Try a meat ball, I promise you've never tasted better." I don't know what comes over me but I slice one in half and stab a part, bringing it to her mouth; Brittany doesn't hesitate to take it. She finishes it and agrees with me enthusiastically.

Brittany rinses with a bit of wine and asks me what it is.

"Since when were you interested in wines, are you going all sophisticated on me?"

"No, but living with an expert I've had my fair share of tastings; I just can't seem to pinpoint this one."

"You probably won't know it, but its called Amarone …"

"No, you didn't!"

"Excuse me?" her response is beyond my comprehension.

"San, this must have cost you a fortune! I've only had this like once during a taster, and this is like the only one Quinn hasn't bought because she'd have to sell her Cartier watch for it."

Her outburst makes me blush a little because I did go all out with the wine, is it so bad that I want to impress Brittany?

"You mean a fortune to me." It comes out as a whisper, "I didn't know if I'd get the chance to do something like this for you again, I hope I didn't over do it."

"It's just, you are really sweet San, but you don't have to do all this for me. I mean it feels great being spoiled, but I wouldn't have loved you any less if you had gotten say, a bottle of Allegrini or Campagnola."

"Ok, you just went all wine geek on me."Brittany shrugs her shoulder and gets back to eating which is what I should be doing too. But I'm spontaneously drawn to how pretty Brittany looks and how stupid it is for us to be having an intimate dinner, all dressed up for each other, flirting shamelessly, and not be on a date. I'm ashamed that my words haven't measured up to my behavior, how I am actually the one who is not letting go of whatever insubstantial apprehension I misled myself to believe exists between us. All this is very much evident by the great lengths I've taken to give Brittany perfection when all she'd been asking for was me.

"Brittany, I'm in love with you." It felt right to say, those were the most honest words I'd said to Brittany since having her back in my life. "And I wanted this to be a date so bad I almost asked you to come as my date."

Her face of astonishment is quickly overcome with one I can only describe as drunken happiness; she literally is smiling from ear to ear. She doesn't respond, just keeps smiling that uncontainable smile as she takes my hand and brings it to her lips. She doesn't break our magnetic gaze as she squeezes my hand like she's never going to let go and kisses it lingeringly.

"This is most certainly a date," Brittany finally finds words.

Still high on cloud nine, I pay for dinner, have the wine delivered to my address and lead Brittany outside by the hand to where a cab is waiting.

"The night is still young, want to have dessert?" Brittany doesn't hesitate, and pulls me into the cab.

"Where are we going? By the way this evenings gone I say it's not an ordinary place."

"You know me too well."

I direct the driver in Italian to take us to our destination, and Brittany pouts because she knows I did it on purpose.

"It's weird, Quinn hasn't called at all." Brittany interrupts the comfortable silence we've fallen into. No conversation is necessary when we're wrapped in each other's arms listening to the sound of the others beating heart.

"She doesn't have a phone, so she must not be at home. Although if she really wanted to disturb 'our date' I'm sure Miss Nancy Drew could have figured out some way to rain on my parade."

"You know what? I'm gonna keep a list of all the things I love about you, and the top of the list is that you're always you, never change." That earned Brittany a kiss.

A few moments later we got out of the cab and walked towards my car. Brittany made a move for my keys but I held them fast.

"We didn't get dessert yet."

"Aren't we going to get it now? Come on, let me drive."

"We're here, look" I pointed out to the sand where there is a low tent structure set up with torches all around it to shed light. I mumble thanks to god that Joaquin didn't mess up so far. I notice his best friend, a reliable man and one of my drinking buddies sitting on a bench nearby no doubt enjoying the evening air while guarding my car. I tell Brittany to check out the tent while I take a discreet moment to thank Martin and ask if he set everything out like I asked. He confirms everything is according to the plan, so I give him a peck on the cheek and hurry to catch up with Brittany.

"This is really cool," I follow Brittany into the tent that is open on the side facing the sea.

"I never thought you could be so romantic, that is number two on the list."

"I try."

I motion for Brittany to come sit between my legs in the corner with pillows piled up. I get comfortable on the large mat covering a portion of the sand as Brittany leans her head against my chest. We lay there for a while, letting our hands roam up each other's arms, intertwining our fingers, playing with each other's hair; doing things that used to be second nature back when we were 17 and unknowingly in love.

To the right of the tent conveniently in arms reach is a cold box, which I pop open revealing an array of ice-cream cones; back then Brittany would have wondered if a unicorn came and pooped out all the colorful cones.

"I remember we used to love these. And your favorite was raspberry so here you go," I unwrap the cone and let Brittany take a bite.

"Still the best," she says taking another bite. I feed her the whole cone and can't help but feel like this was how it would have been if we had our chance.

We had grown and gone through the different stages of love. The heartache, the times of patient waiting, the tranquil moments of being wrapped up in the arms of a lover, but never this. The puppy love that is the start of everything, when the world has two seasons, rainbow and sunshine; we missed that.

It was partly my fault, we could have been the world's cutest couple but I was afraid to be different back then; ironic since I was always trying to stand out. I wouldn't let anyone have an advantage over me in the unwritten popularity contest, and surely I'd be in loserville if anyone found out I'd rather kiss my best friend over all the guys because I had actual feelings for her.

It means nothing to me now; I look back and see how stupid I was then and how lucky I am now that Brittany still loves me.

"Here try this," I pull out two small ceramic glasses and a bottle of chilled Limoncello.

Filling the glasses three-quarters full, I pass one on to Brittany. "Cheers" we clink and then down the strong liquor, me more smoothly than Brittany.

"What is it," Brittany chokes a little but motions for me to pour her another at my offer.

"It's called Limoncello, a lemon and liquor blend. It's a must have after dinner in my opinion."

"Are you sure you don't say that about all liquor?" Brittany finishes her second round more easily this time.

"Contrary to what you think, I am not an alcoholic," Although, I've been proving the opposite a lot lately.

We have a final round, not really wanting to get wasted tonight.

"Want another one?" I ask Brittany, pointing to the ice-cream cones.

"Let me feed you one," She whines and because I think it's only fair, and actually no one has ever cared about me enough to want to do that - I oblige.

"What do you want?"

"Your pick."

"Ok," She swipes inside the box randomly and picks one out, "Chocolate!" The wrapper is gone in seconds and she's holding it to my mouth. I don't know what she finds so amusing but it's hard to eat when her hand isn't still. Already I had missed calculated and got some Chocolate on my cheek, then on my nose, and on my other cheek. I swear with all the giggling, Brittany is making it hard on purpose so she can 'help' lick the smudges off my face; her game becoming more and more sensual as she licks certain spots for longer than necessary.

When she 'accidently' gets some ice-cream on my neck, I've had enough.  
>"Give me that." I grab the cone and toss it outside the tent letting the cream ooze onto the sand, "you want to do something else than just tell me cus' I'm more than willing to play as well."<p>

I don't let her respond before diving in and sucking on her pulse point eliciting exaggerated moans from my mouth as I leave a wet trail across her neck.

When Brittany tries to return the kisses, we start a wrestling game for the upper hand, not caring that we're getting sand in our hair and ruining our dresses. I feel like a teenager again, laughing so hard while rolling over and under Brittany. In the end it's Brittany who ends up on top, holding my struggling frame down.

After a moment of silence Brittany whispers softly, "You know, I've always known I was in love with you. I just didn't tell you until it was too late, and they separated us; I cried so hard knowing I might never see you again. I never forgave myself for not letting you know that last night we had together."

I've stopped trying to roll Brittany over and lay there - content to be so close to her. I remember that night.

"_I can't believe we graduated! No, I can't believe I graduated! Of course you were going to be top of the class but I'm just so glad I made it." Brittany jumped up and down on our beds that have been pushed together ever since the third quarter of junior year. No one said it wasn't allowed. _

"_Brittany, calm down. I know this is exciting but tomorrow we go home so we've got plans to make."_

"_I can't believe I'm not going to see you everyday anymore, that's just sad." Brittany flops into a cross-legged sitting position. _

"_Which is why we have to make plans." _

"_So what is the plan? What if I glue myself to you, then no one will be able tear us apart…."_

"_And we'd be stuck together for life, literally. We need a better plan." The truth was I didn't want to go home. I wanted to see my family, but I wanted to start my life someplace else. I wanted to see the world, maybe go on a road-trip with Brittany, maybe find a nice city to live in and crash there with Brittany. Actually I didn't care what I did as long as I had Brittany. I knew I loved her, was in love with her and wanted her in my life, but I just couldn't say it, the time had to be right. I was sure that time would come, if only I could find a way to keep us together._

_Since I was clueless to what I wanted I asked Brittany. _

"_Brittany, what do you want to do after getting out of here?" It was important for me to find out what Brittany wanted so that I could figure out our future. _

"_I want to do a TV show; I loved having fondue for two as extra school credit. Do you know that everyone loved my show - even you?" I had to admit at first I thought it was silly, but I helped Brittany set it up and run it anyway because she was getting credit for it which was always useful. Turned out, the show was a hit, it was basically the most talked about gossip show fueling everyone else's gossip; it was so good, it ran Finn Hudson's lame radio station out of business. _

"_What do you want to do?" Brittany returned the question._

"_I don't know, guess I can do the lighting and set up for 'the big tv host'"_

"_Come on San, everybody has a dream." What was my dream? _

"_I guess I might like to be a musician, write my own songs and sing them, maybe at a bar or a club." _

"_I like that," Brittany said all dreamy eyed, "you write nice things." _

_I guessed I might have been talented in that area because I managed to write poems for Brittany like every other day on every topic under the sun. Yesterday I wrote her a sonnet about saying goodbye to old friends, meaning teddy sherringham and dolphin Delilah (the story behind the name will have to be told at a different time) because she was giving them to me and wouldn't be seeing them anymore. _

"_I could talk to my parents, maybe they'd let me stay with you first for a bit, if it's ok with your parents. And then you could come live with me for awhile. Then when we turn eighteen, we can move out and get our own place, start going after our dreams. That way we won't have to spend a day away from each other."_

"_Awesome plan, brilliant thinker gets a kiss." Brittany jumped on me without so much of a warning, smothering me in a sloppy kiss. _

"_So you like the plan?" I asked to make sure._

"_It's perfect. Come on lets pack our stuff." _

"_But Britt's, me tired. Let's just do it tomorrow." I pleaded, not actually tired but wanting to spend the last night at school cuddling Brittany. _

"_Fine, than let's just go to sleep," She turned off the light and got into bed on the far side away from me. _

_Once she settled I rolled myself to spoon her from behind, letting my right arm hug around her waist. Brittany turned around and gave me a goodnight kiss that never really ended; she pecked several places on my face and then returned to my lips for a searing kiss that was anything but an innocent 'goodnight'._

_The moment I kissed her back she stopped. _

"_What?" I asked a little confused, just a moment ago she was all over me but now she wanted to stop?_

"_I thought you were tired, so we're going to bed." She turned back around and ignored my whining how it was unfair for her to get me all worked up and then drop me like that. _

"_If you have enough energy to make-out, then you certainly have enough to pack your stuff." I sighed at her logic._

"_Look," Brittany made a proposition, "you pack your very small amount of stuff in your suitcase, I'll help you too, and then if you're still up to it we can make-out. Maybe even go past second base." _

_It was a very appealing proposal, and I accepted immediately. _

_Like Brittany said, it only took us fifteen minutes to gather all our belongings and pack it in our suitcases, seeing as we didn't have much here anyways. _

_I was eager to get my reward, when Brittany decided she was tired and wanted to sleep._

"_What! That's not fair, you promised."_

"_Never said 'I promise'." _

"_But you basically did!" _

_In one swift motion Brittany rolled on top of me and locked her lips with mine. "I was just playing with you, I hope you know what you're getting into and have the energy for it." She breathed heavily before parting my lips roughly with her tongue, pushing it inside my mouth and tangling it with mine. I let her control all the action for a minute, just enjoyed being dominated by her tongue, her hands and her whole body. I was hit by a burning sensation between my legs when Brittany's knee moved rhythmically against my center, I wanted her to keep going but I also wanted the feeling to last longer so I flipped her over, not letting her finish dry humping me. _

_I separated our mouths for a moment as I started to tug at her tank top, she didn't even pause to think about what we were going to do. Although I was apprehensive because I'd never gone all the way before, every part of my body wanted it, and I couldn't fight it. The white shirt went flying to the head post a second later followed by a pink polka-dot bra. _

_Her breast were worthy of worship, and I ravished them in adoration. Using my hands first to knead the soft skin, "you are so beautiful," I kissed her neck softly, sucking every once in a while like I would a juicy fruit I could not get enough of. My hands never stopped the gentle squeezing, as I changed to rolling her harden nipples between my fingers, enjoying the small whines directly in my ear; I loved to hear it. I loved to know I could make her feel this way no matter how unworthy Quinn said I was of Brittany's friendship, no matter how unworthy of love the jerks I rejected told me, no matter how unworthy I knew myself to be of her admiration and loyalty; at least in these intimate moments with Brittany I felt worthy enough to love her with my entire body and soul. _

"_Take your shirt off, I want to feel you." Brittany has never been timid of voicing what she wants. I do as she says; ridding my top and reaching to unhook my bra but Brittany interrupts as she sits up and does it for me. I wrapped my arms around her neck as I straddled her, feeling her cold hands run up and down my back. It made my spine twitch in a good way. Her head was cradled in my unwrapped bosom, her arms surrounding me comfortably holding me tight, and I knew she was thinking of tomorrow; about the possibility of not seeing each other anymore. She was afraid to say it just as much as I was. I roped my hands through her hair in hopes of soothing her worries away at least for tonight and kissed her repeatedly on the forehead for all the days I might not see her in the future, in hindsight those forty kisses weren't enough._

"_I really want to do this with you San, but just … if it's bad then try not to remember too much of it OK?"_

_I gave in to the plosive giggle that burst through my throat, "I don't care if it's bad Brittany, I'll always remember it because it will have been my first time and with you, it's already destined to be perfect." I kissed her gently to relay the seriousness of every word. _

_She slid the straps of my bra down till they were free from my arms then cupped my breast; they filled her hands just perfectly. She got straight to the pleasuring; watching her rub my breast in circular motions and flicking my nipples stout was like watching porn and experiencing it at the same time. It wasn't long before I felt the heat of her mouth on my right breast, sucking ardently and diligently while keeping my left side attended to with her capable fingers; suddenly I wanted those fingers in a much deeper place. _

"_Brittany, can you stop for a second?" The pout on her face asked if she's not satisfying me. "It's just, ah..," I looked down at my pants as if staring at the offending material would dissolve it. My hands found the top button and it was undone in a second but before I could lift myself off Brittany and pull off my jean shorts she sat me back down firmly. _

"_Let me," _

_I wasn't one to deny that demanding tone, it made me even more aware of the experience I was having in my pants. _

_She told me to lift myself up and then she hooked her thumbs in the belt loops of my pants, shifting the shorts down and revealing my hips and thighs little by little. Her eyes were glued on the nakedness slowly showing while my eyes were glued on her; in that moment I didn't know who was feeling more excited. _

_How I was straddling her lap again completely naked I don't remember, but I was sure feeling exhilaration when I saw my exposed core practically touching hers. Brittany asked if she could touch "down there" and I didn't know of any other response besides yes. I knew I was wet, but having Brittany spread the moisture up and down my slit with a single finger was a whole different feeling. I couldn't read her face but I hoped she was enjoying it as much as I was. _

_Earlier I had wanted this to last beyond getting off on dry humping like we'd done in the past but the pace was becoming unbearably slow, I had enough foreplay; the new feelings had mixed with my already fueled emotions and I couldn't wait any longer. _

"_Brittany, I want to…," the cheesy words always made me stutter._

"_What, are you tired already? I told you this would be long."_

"_No, Brittany all these..," my hands fluttered in circles like they might say the words for me if I let them flap long enough, "feelings…these things I …things I feel for you, like the kind that make people write love songs…. I can't wait…. I need you …I want to..."_

"_Fuck me already?" It was as crude as it comes; Brittany unlike me had no problem expressing those kind of words. _

"_Make love to you." There I said it, a true romantic term I wouldn't dare use if I didn't mean it. _

_It was cheesy and slightly out of character but I wanted her to know that for me this was more than just sex. When I said it would be my first time I meant it as in 'my first time ever', not just my first time with a girl like Brittany thought. Everyone called me a slut, but no one could actually recount a true story of having slept with me. Sure I talked a lot like I'd done it a million times but smart people would have known that everything I said could be traced back to books in the library. _

_The secret romantic in me only came out with Brittany and I didn't want our first time to be 'my first fuck'. _

_Brittany smiled; loving every bit of the sincere and caring self I only ever portrayed in secrecy or behind closed doors. "Ok, then let's make love." _

_I pushed Brittany down to lay flat on her back and then yanked her pants all the way down to her ankles before she kicked them off. I kissed a trail up her calves and inner thighs alternating between right and left until I reached her underwear which was anything but sexy yet it didn't matter because it ended up on the floor all the same. _

_The first thing that hit me was the musky smell of her radiating core. I nudged my nose in timidly, unintentionally grazing the spot that made her legs tremble and heartbeat pick up erratically. _

"_San, come here," Brittany urged with a soft pull to my hair as I climbed back up, laying my whole body on top of her and feeling every inch of our skin making contact. _

_She pulled me down till our lips met in an open mouth kissed so filled with passion it felt like electricity was flowing between us, occasionally sparking that spot in need of more stimulation with every passing second. I continued to explore her mouth and let her tongue dance circles around mine till we both had to stop and breathe. _

"_I want you so bad," Brittany pleaded and I didn't need to be encouraged twice. I let my hand travel down to her core where I flicked my thumb over her clit several times to watch her squirm under me before I entered her slowly with two fingers. They fit inside her snuggly; I kept them buried there for a few seconds, letting Brittany adjust to the feel before I started a slow in and out rhythm. _

_Brittany was turning me on as she massaged my full breasts, but the noises she made were even more stimulating; almost enough to make me cum. _

_I started to twitch my fingers and feel inside of her as I pressed in deep. Her steady grunts changed to long throaty moans as I bent my fingers up a bit, hitting a spot that was making her come undone fast. She could hardly focus on touching my body any more; instead with one hand she grasped at my hip to keep steady as she breathed hard, the other hand flew to the bed spread and scrunched it into a tight fist. _

_I knew she was going to come very soon so I slowed down my motions. Watching Brittany made me feel like I would explode any minute too so I readjusted my body to create more space between our cores, bringing my other hand to my center and rubbing my clit at the same pace I continued pumping into Brittany. I could feel the build-up leading towards the final tumble but without warning my hand was joined by another; I felt slender fingers sink deep inside with one smooth move._

_I felt so full, I'd imagined it before but experiencing it was a totally different thing. I almost came for the second time that night. _

_We'd both been nearing our release so at this point neither of us held back. I felt Brittany pump her long agile fingers inside me hard and fast, mimicking my actions and hitting the spot that made me moan her name forcefully and repeatedly. _

_It was just a matter of seconds, our bodies rubbed against each other till our sweat mingled and then Brittany screamed, deep and satisfied. Her body erupted into an uncontrollable shaking, a sight of awe. I didn't think I'd ever seen a more stirring manifestation. Her legs wrapped around mine in her attempt to stay still as she tried to make me follow her off the edge, it wasn't long before I couldn't resist. I let my body rest fully on top of Brittany as I rode out the best orgasm of my life. _

_That was the last thing I remembered, laying on top of Brittany, completely satisfied inside and out. Everything was right in the world in that moment, just me and Brittany and our boundless love for each other. _

_The next morning I awoke to a harsh reality, Brittany was screaming and holding on to me for dear life as three men pulled her away. She couldn't fight them, I tried to but more men came to hold me down as they dragged her out of my life. I never saw her again for ten years. _

"It's nice to just lie like this," I awaken from my thoughts by the sound of Brittany. To assure myself I wasn't in those nice dreams that I'll wake up from, I hold Brittany even tighter, pressing her head into my chest.

"Yeah, I like it. Being with you like this." I say, realizing I haven't answered yet.

"You went all quiet for a few minutes I thought you were sleeping."

"No, I was just thinking, about that night."

"What were you thinking?" Brittany lifts her head up so she can look into my eyes, now I can't lie.

"Well…"

"It was pretty good wasn't it?" Brittany is shameless as I blush a little at being caught.

"It was better than good; it was everything from passionate to mind blowing. It was perfect… but that's not the only thing I was thinking of."

Brittany raises her eyebrow as she draws circles on shoulder.

"After...that…I was going to tell you in the morning, I was going to say "I'm in love with you". I was going to ask you something too but everything happened so fast, they took you; I punched my way out but you were gone."

Tears were threatening to spill but I held them back bravely.

"I couldn't find you and I spent all morning in our room telling myself how stupid I was for holding back, for waiting till the last moment to tell you how I felt only to have that moment stolen from me."

"San, don't be mad at yourself; you were waiting for the right time…"

"The right time was before we made love, all the feelings and emotions were there, and I just didn't say it."

"You said it today in the restaurant. Look we can't change the past San ok? I also waited till it was too late. But listen San, we waited for each other I never loved anyone else, I knew I could only love you and that one day I would get the chance to tell you. And I got that chance - It's not too late."

"Britt, I didn't get a chance to ask you my question."

"Oh, the one I've been waiting for you to ask since like forever?"

"Don't ruin my moment."

"Ok"

Silence.

"Will you Brittany S. Pierce, be my girlfriend, even though this request comes ten years late?"

Silence. I'm holding my breath.

"On one condition."

I was expecting a "yes" or "no" sort of answer, so I was mildly surprised.

"What's that?"

"You have to be patient with me…"

"Ok.." I start to say but Brittany cuts me off.

"With everything; I have to know that you won't leave me even if…when …err… things become inconvenient."

"Things like what? Brittany is there more I don't know?"

"Only some minor things, like other symptoms of my problem."

"Brittany, you have to start being completely honest with me. Don't you trust me?"

"I do, but can I say yes to be your girlfriend first and talk about this later?"

"Ok"

Brittany prepares herself mentally, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend Santana Lopez." I smile at how I get to call Brittany my girlfriend now.

I few moments of contentment pass as I get lost in her clear blue eyes, telling myself that I am not dreaming all this.

"I want to know everything, Brittany."

She clears her throat like she's about to say something very formal and well thought out.

"There's not much besides the occasional screaming at night, err…sometimes I get lost in my head trying to remember what are real memories and what are not, ummm… I might avoid situations where I have to let go during umm… yeah cause then it's really bad – the uh flashing that is."

"You lost me after the memory sorting part; you get bad flashes during what?"

"ummm, ….state of mind reached by ascending to the body's greatest height of pleasure where the mind is completely free of thoughts. During those times of intensity, the brain is in a suitable condition to stimulate image sparks that rushes by at a speed triple to that which is normal. Effects are similar to migraines but far more agonizing, the affected may slip into a state of unconsciousness from which they may never return."

"Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I don't know, that's how Quinn explained it to me."

"Have you ever, experienced it?"

"Yes, once; Quinn said I was lucky I didn't pass out."

"Are you telling me that…"

"Santana, I can't have sex. I can give it to you, but I can't have it."

Once again I'm struck by how much this filthy thing Millenicon did to Brittany is affecting her life.

"Are you going to break up with me now?"

My heart breaks to think that she thinks I'd do that to her after she revealed all that to me.

"No, I'm not. Nothing will stop me from being with you or loving you."

Brittany lets out a sigh of relief, as I again process her strange condition. It must have been hard for her to remain asexual for so god knows how long.

"So girlfriend, I hope you've enjoyed the evening as much as I have."

She giggles at my insistent use of the word, "How do I even begin to thank you for it?"

"Maybe you can start by sleeping with me tonight, and I don't mean it in the dirty way." I quickly add.

"Are you sure San? I don't want to wake you up in the middle of the night. It's bad enough it happens to me, I wouldn't want to disturb you."

"Baby, you are my girlfriend now remember? You are supposed to let me take care of you. And how can I do that if you don't let me be there for you when you need me most?"

I help her up and start dusting the sand out of her hair and clothes while she does the same to me. The dresses are somewhat spoiled but not ruined. I figure I'll just send them to get washed and dried at the cleaners. At least Brittany still looks every bit the part of Barbie like she did before dinner, though I'm not sure what irreparably appalling state I'm in.

"Ok," Brittany finally relents, "I love your guest room but I miss cuddling with you."

I smile as we walk to the car hand in hand before I start driving the short distance home to where I see the lights on.

"Besides," an afterthought comes to me, "in Beijing you slept with me and you didn't even stir once, I must have some good effect on you."

"So now you are the answer to all my problems?" Brittany teases.

I shrug, "what if I am?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just want to know if people like the story so far, if I should make things move faster, if the story isn't really working, if it's boring. Those types of things. Do you still want to read it? Tell me what you think. I'm not asking this to get more reviews or anything cus' that's not why I write and I'm not that type of person but I genuinely want to know your thoughts as this story is very much AU and sort of out there in a very different universe. Thank you for reading. <strong>


	11. Moving Forward

**Happy New Years everyone! Here is an update for you in celebration of good things to come in 2012.**

**Blueskkies - yes, it's really unfortunate for Brittany. I'm not cruel though and there will be development for her condition.**

**gleeeeeeeek89 - I had to physically count the amount of e's in your name to get it right. Thanks for loving the story. I hope you continue to love it. **

**charisma28 - I'll try to keep the story going at a good pace.**

**crazyfornaya - I know it's sad for Brittany but things will begin to look up, I promise. **

**Peaceagent15 - glad your still reading this story even though I didn't update for a while. I'm officially dedicating my time to this story again so update's shouldn't be too long to wait for. **

**This chapter isn't super long and the story doesn't move forward so much but it focuses a lot on the characters which I think is important. Be patient, action is coming I can assure you. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

If I think I'm getting any sleep tonight I'm wrong. The minute I step back into my house, the magical night I've had with Brittany is over. Quinn Fabray couldn't be in a worse state. I don't know when the drinking started but I can see she's well into her third bottle – the first, not quite empty, lays fallen - dripping it's substance onto my mahogany table. I know what's on her mind, but before I think about rescuing any children, I'll be saving the panic-stricken mother and my slowly soiling table first.

Brittany seems to be on the same wave-length as she rushes to Quinn's side and slips the warmed drink out of her grip. I get a cloth from the kitchen and hurry back to clean up the mess. Quinn will forever be a drama queen I think as I help Brittany lead a drunken Quinn to the couch. She's talking a mile a minute and I can't really understand the sentence fragments coming out of her mouth. All I know is that Quinn has some crazy plan and that Brittany and I are a part of it – some things never change.

"You need to shut up and listen to me," I shout at the rambling girl when I've had enough. "Everyone's had a long day, we all need rest. I get how serious this is, that's why we are going to plan the shit out of it tomorrow."

I can see Quinn's face heating up and I know this is not going to end well. Quinn being mad is not a joke at all.

She gets up and stands to her full height, and steps forward so that she is right in my face.

"Don't lecture me Santana when you don't know how it feels like knowing you have one chance, only one chance, to save someone you love." Quinn glares at me with fire in her eyes as she says those words – but she doesn't know how untrue they are.

When I finally collect my thoughts, Quinn is halfway up the stairs.

"Don't," Brittany puts her hand on my shoulder, trying to hold me back but I'm not having it. I brush her hand away and march to the bottom of the stairway.

"You're wrong Quinn, I do know." My words make Quinn stop and turn around. "We're not so different. We kill, we hate being controlled, we drink our problems away, we try to protect the ones we love – I went through all of that Quinn." I let my breath return to normal for a few seconds, realizing there isn't a need to shout anymore. "I also know what it feels like to have one chance to save a loved one. I almost fucked up my mission when saving Brittany. I was alone Quinn, I didn't have back-up – she could have died, I could have died. But Quinn you have us ok? You don't have to go through this alone so stop shouldering everything."

I wait for a reaction but it doesn't come. Quinn stares at me blankly then turns and heads to her room.

"You tried," Brittany whispers from behind me and rests her chin on my shoulder. I let out a shaky sigh knowing it's not over and that tomorrow round two will start. This is why I don't like Quinn, she's too similar to me – she reminds me of all the things I hate about myself.

"I'm going to bed Brittany," I reach for her hand and kiss it lightly then walk up the stairs too tired and too weighed down by the future to say anything else.

Inside my room I strip down to nothing and enter the bathroom, grabbing my towel on the way. A good shower always clears my conscious and it's something I need right now. Quinn's outrage struck a chord in me – what if I wasn't successful in saving Brittany? What if we'd gotten out alive but either one of us was seriously injured? How did I survive years of killing people and rescuing others on just the thought of seeing Brittany again? How did Brittany live under the control of the agency for all these years? When were we going to stop playing this game? Would I ever stop killing people or saving them? Would I ever have a life that wasn't controlled by the fear of being discovered? Would I ever have a normal life? Would Brittany want to share a normal life with me? Heck, would Brittany even recover enough to have a chance at being normal again?

"You think too much San," Brittany says and I can feel her hands working the muscles on my back. I didn't even realize she joined me under the spray of water.

"I can't help but think," I reply and relax a bit as Brittany's fingers work their magic on my body. "My whole world has been turned upside down in just a few days. I'm scared. There are so many unanswered questions."

Brittany turns off the shower so I can hear her clearly, "Santana, uncertainty is always scary and I can't believe I have to tell you what you told Quinn a few minutes ago – but you aren't alone." Brittany pushes her naked body into the back of mine and kisses the skin of my shoulder, "You promised me, don't push me away again."

I'm closing my eyes but I hear every word Brittany says. "Ok," I tell her and hope it's enough for now. She turns the water back on and lets it rain over the both of us.

After I towel off, I get dressed and dry my hair while making a conscious effort not to look at Brittany's body in the mirror. I know she's not wiping herself down in the moonlight on purpose, but her perfect physique is hard not to stare at. She eventually puts on the clothes I've thrown on the bed for her and then she takes my place at the mirror to blow her hair.

I curl up in a ball under the sheets and listen as the hair dryer continues to whir. I don't hear it stop because I'm half gone by then but I do feel warmth against my back when Brittany climbs into bed behind me. Out of a long-time-ago habit, I turn around – still closing my eyes – and pull Brittany's head into the crook of my neck. Just like when we were young. It's like she feels safe in my arms and I feel safe with hers wrapped around my body – even in our sleep we protect each other. She kisses my cheek goodnight and I kiss her forehead as we both make the most of what we know will be a short night.

I rise again a few hours later to an empty bed. It's not cold so I know the missing body has been gone for only a little while. It's only four in the morning but I'm used to starting my day early. I get up and wash the tiredness out of my face – the dark circles around my eyes mock me saying I should take care of myself more. I throw on my jogging clothes and swipe my Iphone from my desk where it was charging and step out of the room. The hall is dark as I make my way through, if I didn't live here I'd probably get lost in the maze of tangents and doors. There's a slight noise coming from the kitchen and I enter to see the same sight as I did yesterday. I could get used to this, waking up to a beautiful girl with untidy hair in the kitchen making me coffee.

"Good morning Santana," Brittany continues to work the coffee grinder without turning around. I shouldn't be surprised; I'm not the only one here who can detect the slightest change in the air or the smallest sound of tip toes.

I say the words back to her as she offers me coffee, "It won't be done for a few minutes if you can wait." Brittany says and turns towards me to give me a smile. I smile back and say I'll wait. Its clear Brittany hadn't slept well either last night but it's not only the darkness around her eyes that say so. There is something about the way she doesn't light up when she smiles or when she focuses too hard on the coffee beans being grinded and she rearranges the three mugs set on the counter into a different position for the third time in five minutes as if she's trying to not lose herself in her head.

"Brittany," I say for the fifth time before she turns around in response. "Is something the matter?"

Her eyes drop to the tiles and she closes her eyes. I approach her slowly and wrap her in a tender hug; I want her to know its ok to tell me, "Brittany if we want this to work we are both going to have talk." She lets out a sigh. "I know it's hard to trust, it's hard to let down our walls – those walls are the difference between life and death in our line of work. This is why we aren't supposed to have emotions – we trained ourselves to stay clear of attachment – that's why it's going to take a lot from both of us. And it starts with letting the other person in. Do you trust me?"

"What do you know Santana?" she spits at me and glares, "do you even hear yourself?"

"What's that supposed to mean Brittany?" I'm surprised she sounds so angry and it makes me mad that somehow I'm the wrong one again.

"You give a great a speech when you have no idea what's going on."

"Then tell me what's going on!" I shout and step away from her.

"I had the dream again, about Beth." It comes out as a whisper and I don't know why but I'm not even disturbed– I should be. Brittany just had another bad dream but something clicks. If Brittany had a bad dream and the same one as the previous night for that matter, why didn't I hear her screaming? And also, if the dream was the same then at least our mission is still a go.

Brittany doesn't seem to notice my light mood after what she just told me, she continues to stare at the coffee machine now dripping the hot aromatic liquid into one of the mugs.

"Did it hurt?" I ask in a watered down tone.

"Not much." Brittany replies in an almost mumble, "The flashes were slower, so it didn't jar my brains but I saw everything and … I woke up crying." She ends softly.

I venture to ask her why but all she says is that I would have cried too if I saw what she did. I desperately want to – no, need to know everything, all the details. They would be important to the success of our mission. But before I can get anything else out of her, Brittany escapes and dashes to the bathroom. I didn't even notice till now how her eyes are moist and red again. After a moment's reflection, all I can feel is empathy towards her. It must be so hard. I'm not the one who has to see the terror befalling others, I don't have to try and build my walls again when it's been chipped at by others plight. Brittany seems so much more human than Quinn and I will ever be. I don't know how she's done it for so long but that just makes her the strongest out of us all. And I've blown it again.

It's my fault Brittany is upset so I follow her to the nearest bathroom and place my hand on the door knob. It's not locked but I'm not sure if just entering is a good idea or if I should alert her first. I give the wood a few soft taps and hear Brittany say she'll be done in a minute.

"Brittany, its ok it's just me. Can I talk to you?"

There's a moment of silence then the door opens and I let go of the handle. I'm suddenly in Brittany's embrace. I hold her tightly as I try to support the both of us from falling. She's sniffling and I know she's been crying – again; all I desperately want to do is fix this.

"I'm sorry Brittany, I'm really sorry." I whisper into her ear. "Give me time, I'm learning. I don't know how to do these things - sensitivity and stuff. I've never been in a relationship that mattered before and I know I'm doing so many things wrong, but I'm trying."

Its ok I hear her say and feel her grip on my shirt loosen.

We walk back to the kitchen together with our hands intertwined; it seems to be our thing lately. I'm not surprised Quinn is helping herself to a cup of coffee when we enter, all the morning drama was sure to wake her up, it would wake anybody up.

"Good morning?" Quinn hesitantly says with a hint of a double meaning in her voice.

I look to Brittany for an answer and she nods, "Yeah, good morning."I'm glad to see the smile return to her face as she gets her coffee and mine.

"I know I'm asking a lot of you guys," Quinn says when we're all sitting around the kitchen island.

Brittany waves it off and I give a supportive smile as we both assure her we're one-hundred percent on board. I take a sip of coffee and prepare for what I know is coming next.

"I have a plan, and it's a well thought over one. Santana I can see you rolling your eyes already." Quinn chuckles at my mid-way eye roll. "Seriously, Hiro and I did some thinking and researching yesterday."

"So bring us up to speed Quinn, we don't have all day. The sooner we get this planning done the better; I'm already itching to be on the field." Brittany shoves my head playfully, knowing all too well I like to get straight to business.

"We did a back up search on Beth on the Sacred Heart Orphanage's database and tracked down the family that adopted her."

"Paris." Brittany throws in monotonously.

"Right, I'm not even going to ask how you know that," Quinn continues, "Her name is Elizabeth Louve, she lives in Paris, her father Pierre is the chairman of a nuclear energy company, his wife Genevieve is a socialite responsible for the success of many well known fashion designers. Because they are both powerful people, I don't know who is behind the bombing. It could be Millenicon ordering a wipe out mission but I highly doubt it since Beth doesn't have any knowledge of her life before adoption and I don't think the Louves' have any knowledge of Millenicon. The more likely explanation is that someone isn't happy with the Louves' and is trying to take them out."

"But why a bombing?" I'm suspicious as hell; usually squabbles end in targeted assassination not a highly conspicuous homicide of a whole family.

There is a moment of silence. "We have to get on the ground," Brittany sums up what is on all our minds , "It's the only way we'll know for sure who's behind this and how we can stop it."

I held back a smile as I sat scrunched up with Brittany between boxes and other cargo. "The best way is out is the way in," she had said when we snuck into the belly of the plane. I didn't have to be here in this musky cramped pit but I would choose it over first class any day if only for the adventure and Brittany.

Quinn and I had built new identities after our real ones were long dead; we'd been out in the world, living as "normal" people for years. But Brittany would raise too many eyebrows and would probably blow off the whole mission if she walked in; dead people don't materialize. That's just how it worked, with Millenicon, you only existed through whoever they wanted you to be. To the rest of the world you lived in a grave.

"We forgot to eat," I can see Brittany rub her stomach. She licks her lips as if trying to taste the remains of her last meal or anything that might ease her hunger.

"Here," I hand her an energy bar. I always have them on me and if you ask me, they are the real life savers. Ever had to go four or five days without food? Yeah, I learned to live off three energy bars a day.

Brittany welcomes the snack like I'd given her a birthday present. She tears it open and eats the whole thing in two bites not even waiting to finish chewing her first before taking in the second. I can't hold back the smile any longer and I let it creep onto my face and into my eyes. Who would have ever thought chipmunks could be attractive?

"You have crumbs on your chin and cheeks," I say casually, not making a move to wipe them off for her. She's too cute. I can't believe sometimes she's so deep and serious but other times she's just like kid. I think I like the balance.

"Better?" I shake my head and pick off a few last crumbs she missed with the back of her hand. I give her another bar before she can ask me for it.

Quinn comes back from her exploring which is just her excuse for shaking off her nerves.

"Did you find anything interesting?" I stop listening to Brittany crunching her teeth for a minute and give Quinn my full attention. She says no and wipes her sweating hands on the ripped jeans she now donned. It was hard to ever admit Quinn was ugly and even now she wasn't but she really did look dreadful. It probably had to do with the lack of makeup covering her tell-tale worrying face and that she didn't radiate confidence like usual. I'm sure she's scared, losing the one thing worth the most to you can be worse than losing yourself.

I've been to France only once before. I had a whole crew backing me up, I was escorted everywhere in a limousine, I wore the finest satin dresses, people bowed to me – I was the young presidents new girlfriend. He fell head over heels in love with me in the Bahamas' and we were the new item the world was watching. It wasn't my duty to care what steamy, twisted story the press cooked up – I was meant to play him; keep him safe till the time came and then get rid of him - Cruel, but necessary.

I didn't tell anyone what I was up to; no one knew my face, my intentions, my methods. I was a ghost in a world of crooks and I was better than them. I was better than everyone and I was driven by my bitterness to serve justice to the ones who deserved it. Between my search for the most important piece of my life, Brittany, and embarking on my own personal vendetta against Millenicon for taking away everything I held valuable, I'd turned into a lawless, moral-less person. I did what needed to be done to get my way and somewhere along that path I lost myself in hate and revenge.

The turning point was the first time I located Brittany; she was the catalyst that put me straight. I dropped everything to follow her. My skirmishes at screwing Millenicon didn't mean so much to me anymore. I finally had a chance to regain what I thought I'd lost forever but still lived everyday hoping I'd find again, and I was going to get it back. She held a part of me I hadn't known in a long time – finding her would also be finding a lost part of myself.

I don't know how long I slept but the jolt of the plane hitting the runway had me awake in seconds. Brittany was hovering over my face with her backpack already thrown over her shoulder. This was the part where we snuck out before anyone noticed we'd crossed boarders illegally.

Quinn had already set up the distraction away from the door so we were good to go.

"Sorry I fell asleep," I grinned at the two others gingerly, it wasn't like me to do that on a mission. To me focus was everything. Brittany returned the smile and helped me to my feet, shrugging like it was no problem.

"I let you so I could steal more of your energy bars." She said. I checked my back pack and sure enough most of them were gone. I didn't mind though as long as Brittany's hunger was satisfied.

"Girls' it's time." Quinn motions for us to get into position behind the box we'd set up as our first point. Her plans may be crazy but she's meticulous - always. There is no such thing as a failed Fabray plan and that goes for every plan – even if it's just escaping a cargo plane.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Once again, tell me what you think :)<strong>


	12. Saving Beth

**Chapter 11**

"I didn't think we could afford a place like this," Brittany follows Quinn and me into apartment number 8 in a building across the street from the Louve Resident.

"We aren't paying Brittany; no one's going to know we're using the place since we'll only be here twenty-four hours. Besides, the owners are vacationing in the countryside and won't be returning for another month according to their returning tickets date."

It's the perfect place to set the plan into motion. We ditch our bags out of sight and I set up my computer on the marble table that is in the smack center of the luxurious living area.

"Santana," Quinn calls for me and then Brittany to listen to her – here goes the grand plan. "I can't believe we came so ill prepared, and damn if I had time to research first on my computer system, and we have so little time now…." She trails off and rakes a hand through her hair roughly. For the first time Quinn has nothing to say, no instructions to give, nothing.

"We have to know if the bombs are already planted" I try to take this meeting somewhere; we have to get our game together and soon. "Who has the detonator? Where is Beth this very minute? If we figure some things out we'll rely on experience to get Beth out." Winging it is always risky but there isn't any other option. I don't know how convincing I sound but some ones got to take the lead. With that I settle down to my computer and begin scourging every page linked to our target. Brittany explores the place while Quinn just stares out the window.

I'm doing a backup check on Pierre Louve and anyone associated with him. He's a hot shot and has as many friends as he does enemies. It's going to take me too long to pinpoint the perpetrator and it might not even be necessary – all we need is Beth.

Quinn announces she'll be back within an hour. She says she needs to get a good look at the streets surrounding the house and hopefully find a way into the Louves' property.

"That's a start," Brittany returns from her exploration just as Quinn closes the door. She plops down beside me, "I think we should get someone close to Beth, it'll be easier to protect her no matter what the conspiracy is."

I only half nod to that as I've just hacked Mr. Pierre's personal email account. There isn't much, mostly forwards from his secretary, Anna.

"A reply to a dinner invitation," Brittany breaks my concentrated scanning, "sounds promising."

I open the message Brittany is referring to and read the short confirmation. Then I click back to the invitation. It's for a fancy year end meet at a sky restaurant. Tagged to the invitation are some twenty most important figures of today's alternative energy providers. I still don't see how this is relevant to our situation.

"Brittany, help me out here. How does this relate? What do we know?"

She quickly lists off the facts we have so far, "The bomb is in the house. It definitely happens in the morning before Beth leaves with her chauffer to be taken to the private boarding school she goes to. I saw her dressed in her school clothes. It's perhaps a coincidence that the bombing happens while Beth is still there - or not, depending on who we think is behind this. We still don't know who the target is or why the house is being bombed."

"Ugh, this is going nowhere, I've been at this for an hour and none of those questions are answered." I get up, frustrated that things aren't moving faster. I try to arrange the puzzle pieces in my mind again with the scenic Seine River as the background but I still come up with nothing.

"Relax Santana," Brittany covers my eyes from behind so I don't see anything. All I can feel is her behind me and the wind coming through the open window. "I'm sure Quinn will find something," Brittany continues to whisper in my ear as I lean into her and smell the foreign yet fragrant perfume on her neck. She drops her hands off my eyes and I open them to the wonderful sight that is Brittany's sky blue eyes staring at mine. For a moment I forget that we're here to stop something terrible from happening. I forget about Quinn and Beth and the bomb and let my mind wander to how romantic this could be. We're in Paris, the city of love. I'm in love with the most beautiful girl in the world. It would only be ideal to make the most of our stay.

I'm about to lean in and close the last few centimeters between my lips and Brittany's but unexpectedly, the front door opens and closes with such force that we both jump apart.

"Gees, Fabray! Are you trying to alert people that we're illegally occupying this space?"

"I've got news," Quinn ignores my snarky question and sits at my computer. Brittany joins her immediately so I let it slide. "The house is totally high security but there's something strange going on." Quinn types repeatedly while ignoring mine and Brittany's questioning stares. "See, here." Brittany and I lean in to look at what is on the screen. Its five ten smaller screens, all picturing a part of the Louve house – inside and out.

"What are we looking for Quinn? Wait, why is the light not natural? Its five o'clock now and in this screen I see lamp lights; I didn't see them go on."

"That's because they aren't on yet, this is fake footage. Clearly someone is preparing the way for something to happen and they don't want anyone seeing it."

"How did you know Quinn?" I ask, wondering how she could have found out something like this without having any prior knowledge.

Quinn gives me a smile and winks, "I'm not a super secret agent for nothing. I found out a lot of things just by strolling around their property."

I'm still waiting for the answer and Quinn knows it so she relents, "The camera's, they weren't turning. What functioning camera doesn't move?"

"I bet it's an insider," Brittany speaks suddenly and it comes to my attention she hasn't said anything since Quinn introduced her information.

"What do you mean Britt?" I encourage.

"It's true anyone would be able to pull that off but why do it now? Security, which I'm sure there are a lot of them, would at least be suspicious. I mean, if we figured it out it'd be easy for them too. On the other hand, if it was someone on the inside that was in charge of the cameras or something then it'd be all good. No one would know. And they'd be able to do whatever they needed to do like plant bombs whenever they wanted, probably after they went to a fancy dinner or something because they'd have to get ready and wouldn't have time to switch the camera channels…."

I'm more than shocked at how everything seems to fit. Quinn on the other hand is still trying to process what Brittany just suggested.

"I'm sorry, but what am I missing?" Quinn asks.

"The plan Quinn," I answer before Brittany can, "you're missing the plan. That is Brittany and I am going to a very fancy dinner party and you are going to do some more snooping while watching out for your daughter."

Brittany beams excited that we're finally getting our act together and hopefully getting closer to saving Beth.

"But,"

"Quinn, let me break this down for you real fast." I say because I'm worried we won't make it to the seven o'clock dinner on time. "I found out via email that Mr. Pierre is hosting a dinner for his rich colleagues. Thanks to Brittany's brilliance, I think his top security man will be there too. If we can get a hold of him, we may be able to intercept the bombing."

Once it's clear, Quinn hurries us to get ready. We all know it takes forever for a girl to get dressed for these types of events so our one hour limit is really pushing it.

"We have to get you a gorgeous dress San," Brittany walks fast and looks at every shop - Quinn told us there was a tailor up the street so that's what we are looking for. I'm certain we already walked past it when Brittany pauses and walks back a few shops. Sure enough in the display of an old-fashion clothes store are a few dresses that are certainly royal family material. I should know.

Brittany walks me in but surprisingly doesn't stay. "Don't worry San; just wear the ear set and mic. Get a gorgeous dress and get your hair done. I want you to look so good I'll want to fuck you from across the room." She says the last part in my ear with a deep, husky voice and I almost turn into jelly. Before I know it she's gone.

Getting a dress was simple enough, all I had to do was tell the designer what type of dress I wanted and what color. It was like one of those virtual "dress yourself" machines – punch in your specifications and out pops your order. Except I wish it was more like that, less interaction. I was the girlfriend of the most powerful man in the country once and that image doesn't fade easily. Even with my lightened skin-tone and straight hair – there was always a chance of being recognized.

A few shops up the street there is a salon. I have approximately half an hour. I order my hair to be done up in the fashion of high-reaching mistresses.

Brittany wants me to look fuckable so that's what she's getting, maybe I'll even get something out of it. Not that I'm looking to get laid but it's been a while and recently I've had to restrain myself from doing anything with her. Willingly of course, why would I make things harder for her? I've waited for this long already; I can wait a little longer. God, if Brittany gives me 'the look' tonight it's going to be hard for me to resist. Hold it, what am I thinking? We have a job to do; this is not a game and ….Brittany? Where in the world did she disappear to? I'm already doing a bad job at being a girlfriend. How am I supposed to protect her when I don't even know where she is? I can't even contact her! I'm such an idiot for letting her out of my sight. I promised to not let that happen.

I couldn't have been gladder when my hair was finished. I was a sight indeed with my hair pulled back from my face and piled neatly on top of my head. I suddenly remember that I need make up too. My watch says I don't have time but ….Quinn.

I barge into the apartment to find Quinn going through our weapons.

"It's about time you showed up. I hope you look as good as Brittany because if I were a guy I'd definitely do her." Quinn doesn't turn around when she says it.

"So she was here?"

"Yup, come and gone. You are behind schedule."

I'm relieved that Brittany isn't MIA but I have a real dilemma on my hands.

"Quinn, you have to help me with make-up!" It was out there. I don't like to admit it and hell to Quinn for that matter, but I'm not that great at fixing my face up with a million powders and sticks. If she doesn't help me I have a serious problem.

"Ok Santana, I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you're already going to be late or that you can't do your own make-up."

I'm already starting to regret I told Quinn. I'm never going to hear the end of it now.

"Shut it. Of course I can do my own make-up but just not for occasions like this. Here, you tell me what look I should go for and I'll apply everything myself."

Quinn shakes her head, grabs my wrist and sits me down. "You worry about other stuff like getting into the dinner party and I'll fix your face."

It's only a few minutes but it feels like forever. It's different being this close to Quinn and not having the urge to say something snappy or hit her or both. She's concentrated as she accentuates my eyes with black lines and finishes with painting my lips with a beige color. She looks me over once and then gets up "you're ready."

Quinn helps me get dressed quickly and makes sure the gown drapes off my shoulders just right. She smiles and I assume she approves of my choice.

I follow her to our bags to pick the last things I'm missing. She attaches my earpiece properly and gives me the mic which I attach to my bra. Then she places two eight shots with silencers in my hand.

"Take care of Brittany ok?"

I tuck the guns in the bands squeezing tight around both my left and right thigh and let my long dress drop over them, concealing the guns completely. I don't need to be told, there is no way I'm letting anything happen to Brittany.

As predicted, I'm late. I was lucky enough to have gotten a cab driver who knew where the place was and it didn't take much coaxing to make him get me there in double time, who would deny the good graces of a rich aristocrat?

Inside the hotel lobby I wander around waiting and taking in its splendor. Quinn said Brittany would contact me when the time was right and I was getting nervous that something might have happened. She should have found me by now. I reach the opposite side of the ground floor and try to take my mind off all the situations that could happen. I've always had an eye for art, and I can tell I'd love this place if I was here on a different type of visit. The place has got this stylish, half 21st century half renaissance look and feel. Artifacts and rare works of art adorn this corner and that corner – purposefully grabbing ones attention as if each were a movie star in its own right on the red carpet.

I stop walking when an expected yet unexpected crackle sounds in my ear. It begins with static but clears till I can here Brittany's voice.

"Do you hear me San?" I can hear my heart beating to the sound of her voice; I didn't think I could be so glad to hear her again. "Yeah" I reply, "I can hear you."

She pauses for a second and I hear another person say something to her. I want to ask her where the hell she's been, what she's been doing and why she didn't tell me but my thoughts are interrupted when Brittany gives me an instruction, "San, go to the bathroom in the lobby, under the farthest plant pot you'll find your pass."

"Got it," I reply and click my heels hurriedly to the woman's bathroom sign I'd seen just a minute ago.

Its right where Brittany says it is although it's not what I expected. I quickly put the plant in its place and shuffle to the elevator. I press the button for the 56th floor and while I jet up I examine the business card in my hand. It says Plexus Corporation and has some strange abstract logo to go with the equally non-informative company name, great. At least there is a person's name printed in fine, thin type that says 'Serena Ferrera- vice president'.

With the ding of the elevator the door opens. Soft music fills my ears as I step out into the softly lit reception area. It's practically empty save a few waitresses scurrying in and out of the restaurant with expensive wines and wine glasses. On the glass doors leading into the dining area I make out the words 'LE CIEL DE PARIS'.

"How may I help you?" A tall woman in a business suit asks as I approach; she doesn't even look up from her clipboard.

"Ms. Ferrera," I give her my name. "Please hurry up with your ticking, the traffic was bad enough and I would rather not wait any longer." I make sure my tone is confident and demanding; I want her attention.

A small smile plays on her lips as she looks at me directly without the slightest fear. It takes a moment for me to register, and then Quinn's words come back to my mind. I'd do her. God, I'd do her a million times.

She clears her throat awakening me from my unintentional stare, "in that case, let me show you to your seat." She winks and leads me to a table at the far end of the room. She mentions that it has the best view and I would have noticed how breath taking it really was if it weren't for the view I was getting in my face from her swaying hips.

There are two men already seated at the table for three but I can't tear my eyes away from her. I've never seen her looking like this before. Hair tied up taut, suit pressed and so smooth water would slide right off. Her eyes are sharp and crystal clear, the lipstick she wears is bold – and her smile, it is unforgettable. She walks away and I'm brought back to reality. But clearly I am not the only one infatuated with her as one of the other men, who is wearing a leather jacket, still has his eyes trained on her form receding into the hallway. I hate him already.

"Ms. Ferrera?" I quickly change my death glare to an amiable smile as I put my hand out to grasp the hand of the other, suit donning man who is none other than Mr. Pierre Louve.

"Yes," I reply warmly, "I'm honored to meet you Mr. Louve."

"It's my pleasure," he waves for a waitress to come and pour me wine while the other man sits stiff in his seat and stares at the opposite wall, "So unfortunate that Mr. Poiter is not well but you are certainly a beautiful representative."

I feign a smile this time not really caring that he finds me attractive. What's more interesting is the man in the leather jacket with the crisp face, sharp chin and perfectly groomed crew cut. I watch him from the corner of my eye while Pierre continues to speak.

"…my secretary Vanessa was sick today so Anya, her assistant, is standing in. I'm sorry if there have been any inconveniences." I catch the last part and watch him begin eating his Caesar Salad. The other man follows suit immediately. "Everything has been perfect," I reassure him and fiddle with the end of my spoon, deciding if I should start eating too.

I can't. I have to talk to Brittany. Perhaps she already knows, she set all this up. But at least I should warn her just in case.

"Pardon me," I say in French, "I must use the ladies room. I will only be a moment." Pierre seems surprised at my sudden change of language but waves me off to do my thing.

The moment I slip through the glass doors, making sure no one's eyes are following me, I scan the area for Brittany. She's not anywhere in sight. "Brittany," I'm careful not to raise my voice, "where are you?"

"In the bathroom San, I was just about to check in with Quinn. Is everything ok?" the words echo so she must be in the same place I'm headed. "I'll meet you there."

Brittany is leaning on the sink counter when I step in. She gives me a smile then deliberately sweeps her eyes over me from my head to my toes. I don't know what she's thinking but I'm still suffering from word loss.

"You better not step any closer Ms. Ferrera, I'm trying hard to contain myself." She puts her hand up and it makes me laugh. I can count on Brittany to lighten the mood in the midst of a serious situation. "I was practically eye-sexing you from across the room." She chuckles.

"Well Anya," I play along but drop to a serious tone, "I should say someone else besides me has an eye on you."

"I know San, don't worry I think this is a really good opportunity."

"For what?" I feel my eyebrows furrow. I'm not quite sure if I heard correctly.

"To get close to him, gain his trust. He could be the key to finding out about Beth. I have a feeling."

I shake my head, Brittany can't be serious. The only thing she'll be gaining is the key to a hotel bedroom with him waiting inside. "No Britt, I'm not letting you. And I'm not even saying this as your 'girlfriend' yeah, remember? I'm…"

"…calling Quinn." Brittany says with pursed lips and brings her phone to her ear. I roll my eyes. Does she not care how I feel about this? Does she not know what she's getting herself into?

"Hey Quinn, I need a quick update."

I watch Brittany; she's listening to the voice on the phone intently.

"Yeah, we've got some great developments here…" I grab the phone before she can say anything else. I'm running out of time and I need Brittany to hear me out. "Quinn, here's the short version. I currently have our suspect under watch, he's got a thing for Britt and she wants to take a chance with him in hopes she'll get information. I say it's too risky." The other end is silent and I figure Quinn is processing what I just said "it's our only option right now Santana, I've been keeping an eye on Beth from the outside but if we want to go in we have to know more…."

I hear enough. "No, I'm not letting Brittany do it. I'll do it if I have to." Frustrated, I hang up on Quinn. Brittany lets out a sigh and puts her hands on her hips in a stubborn stance as she walks away from me.

"I don't have time for this," I say exasperated and step up to Brittany, taking her hands in mine, "I don't want you to get hurt… please…" I drop her hands abruptly and distance myself just as the bathroom door swings open. An older lady walks into one of the stalls and locks the door all the while I wash my hands and hold Brittany's gaze in the mirror hoping she sees how scared I am of losing her right now. She nods and I know that's all I can do to convince her for the moment.

I take my seat at the table again and force myself to stab some lettuce with my fork and eat it. I know of other things I'd rather be stabbing – a heart would be nice. Oh no, I'm sure the bastard doesn't have one. Well, maybe I should lure him outside and blow out his brains. That would feel good, but it'd be too merciful. A hundred ways of painful torture pop into my head as I continue to smile and direct compliment after compliment at Pierre. He's a good man, he doesn't deserve to die, but then neither did my parents, Brittany's parents, the American Ambassador to China or a host of other innocent people. They die while people like this guy dust their hands off and take on the next bloody assignment waiting for them. And to think I used to be just like him.

I'm sick to the stomach and really have no appetite. Pierre looks a little disappointed when I refuse to eat dessert but I make up for it by ordering take home – Quinn might have forgotten to eat and I know Brittany's been on duty the whole evening.

The man in the jacket excuses himself and I hear his voice for the first time. He croaks and I just want to shove acid down his throat so I never have to hear him speak again.

I get up and extend my hand to Pierre. "Thank you for the lovely evening; I enjoyed your company very much. On behalf of Mr. Poiter, I can say we're quite positive your proposal will pass the board. Your project is one of the most interesting and lucrative ones that have been presented to us within the last five years." He takes my outstretched hand and shakes it firmly. It's clear he's happy with the outcome of the pitch he's been making all evening as he thanks me for my time and states how he hopes to work with Plexus Co. in the future.

As I gather my clutch and walk out with Pierre, the other man comes back and speaks with him softly. With my trained hearing I pick up that he's asking Pierre if he can go home without a guard tonight. Some of the bastards buddies have invited him for a drink. Pierre pats him on the back and tells him to take the night off. He's happy with that, too happy for my liking.

Once again I tell Pierre I've had a lovely evening and then say goodbye. I'm relieved when I'm out of his presence, and am now free to keep my eye on Brittany.

I try to find her but everyone starts to filter out of the restaurant at the same time which makes it harder for me. I try to talking to her since I'm having no success spotting her.

"Where are you Britt?" I whisper as I stand in a corner away from the crowds. I don't get an answer and in the pit of my stomach I feel that there is something terribly wrong. What if she went with him? What if he just took her? Why didn't she tell me? I know the answer to that one – because I'd say no. I have to find her; it's not safe for her to be with him alone. I know Brittany is a brilliant agent but for Christ sake, he's an agent too and he's bigger. He could easily hurt Brittany. Oh my God, how did I let this happen!

The details, everything I know, runs through my mind like a bolt of lightning. Where could they be going? The camera's they're still switched to the fake images which means he'll probably have to go back to the Louve's house tonight to finish up his dirty work. This place is a hotel too right? I saw people's baggage in the lobby. If I were him I wouldn't go far. I'd use the most convenient place. I'd stay right here.

As fast as my feet can take me I run to the elevator and press the button for the ground floor. It feels like hours till the doors open to the lobby. I walk as fast as I can to the counter but stop in my tracks, I don't know his name – fuck. How will I know which room he's in if I don't know his name? I think quickly. Quinn, I can call her, I still have the phone. I walk off to a secluded part of the lobby as the most recent number dials and Quinn picks up.

"I need your help Quinn, and I need it fast." My head is spinning and I'm exhaling hard from getting all worked up. "Do you have the names of the guards registered in the Louve household?" Quinn tells me to wait and I can hear her shifting, I also hear the wind. Is it possible Quinn is spying in a tree? How typical is that? "Hurry up Quinn! Brittany is in trouble!" I say again hoping it'll make her find the name faster.

"Got it!" she says and by the flipping of pages I hear, I assume it's in her trusty red little notebook she keeps on her at all times. That book is sure to have a lot of secrets. "You need the name of the bodyguard right?" she asks and I answer positively. "Ok, Dawson. His name is Kent Dawson."

"Thank you Quinn!" I hang up with the words, "don't you fuckin' let Brittany get hurt Santana!" ringing in my ears.

I walk up to the reception and ask calmly for a Dawson.

"We don't give out that kind of information Madame, I'm sorry." The desk boy smiles apologetically and I just want to slap it off his face. He's not making things easy at all.

I switch to French and explain I'm Dawson's mistress and he called me to spend the night with him. While I say that, I quickly change Quinn's name in the contacts to 'Kent Dawson.'

"See here," I continue to purr as I hold the phone up for him to see, "He called me three minutes ago."

The boy looks at the phone and finally relents, "go to room 1304."

I try to walk to the elevator as fast as I can, and curse under my breath that it's only on the tenth floor coming down. I don't have time, everyone is in my way. It finally dings and I wait for a young couple to get out before I get in and slam the 13. If I thought the ride to the 56th floor was long, the ride to the 13th was longer. It finally dings again and I get out and walk straight for room 1302 next to the room Brittany is in.

Fifteen minutes later the crackle starts in my ear again and I hear a husky voice speak as if trying not to be heard, "room 1304. I'm sorry for not telling you first San. You would have tried to stop me."

"Baby, I'm on the balcony." I respond and I can almost hear her smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my wonderful readers, your words inspire me to keep writing<strong>


	13. Breaking in

**Sorry for the wait, I don't know why this chapter was hard to write.**

* * *

><p><strong>CH12<strong>

"I'm so glad….San," the words tumble out of Brittany's mouth like she's not quite sure how to express her relief. "Thank you."

Dressing in only thin cloth and braving the October chills is already a terrible idea. Having to hear the uncertainty in Brittany's irregular breathing is only maximizing the hair rising effect. I haven't answered Brittany yet. I have to tell her everything's going to be ok. The worst thing she could do now is panic.

"Britt," all else gets stuck in my throat. I just want her to know I'm here for her if anything goes wrong. "Stay focused Brittany. I want you to draw back the curtains. Take your time. He's going to want to rush you but you have to keep control. It's the most important thing." I falter; this is the part where I say 'everything's going to be ok, I won't let him hurt you, I've got your back,' but again they die on the tip of my tongue. I can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. And I just _have _to go dumb now when Brittany needs to hear those words most.

"Are you still there San?" Brittany is whispering and probably savoring her last minutes in the safety of the locked bathroom before she has to play the game we both know so well. If only it were me. There was no choice though – one of us had to do it and he picked Brittany.

I clear my throat, hoping that words will find a way out this time. "Yeah, Britt, I'm here and I'm going to be here until we finish this together. Britt, Be careful…"

I faintly here the sound of a knock come through the receiver and know it's time.

"San," Brittany's voice comes through strong and clear for the final time. "Don't leave me, please. I hate to put you through this but just imagine it's you and me ok? The purple grass, remember that?"

"I won't leave Britt, I promise. It's just me and you." The words leave my lips and I steel myself for torture. Then I start to count the time - How many minutes it will take for this to be over. And I remember the purple grass.

"_Don't you think its funny San? I've eaten green cabbage before but I never thought it could come in purple too. I bet more people would like it if it came in every color." _

_I roll onto my side and give Brittany a questioning look, that's the second question she's asked me in the span of five minutes and right now I just want to see Orion in the sky and have my peace and quiet. I already told her the grass isn't purple, that it's just the stupid flood lights some idiot decided should be purple that has changed the color of the grass. She shrugs and says it's still purple and continues to pick at the 'purple grasses' that we are laying on. _

"_I still wouldn't eat it though, even if it came in every variation of rainbow. Cabbage is gross." I reply._

_Brittany and I don't agree on most things but we get along. It's actually better that we're so opposite. It makes things easy, say if I wanted to get rid of say the crappy steamed-cabbage menu recently introduced by our 'oh so creative' new cook. Brittany's plate is always there to welcome it._

"_You don't eat any veggies and that's really unhealthy." Brittany keeps looking straight into the sky, lost in her own world. "I always see you eating candy though. I like your candy. I like it when you eat it. It makes you sweet talk doesn't it, even if it's just to me? I bet your words would be yummy if I could eat them….your tongue would probably taste good too – I mean, it'd be sweet after having chocolate._

_At that, I throw out my plans of enjoying the stars in silence. "You want to know what my tongue tastes like?" Brittany's eyes widened. She looked at me for a fleeting second then covered her face with her hands. _

_I love it when I make Brittany blush. Not only does her face turn pink but her ears go on red alert too._

"_Only after you've eaten candy," Brittany quickly clears up. "It'd be weird to do it otherwise. Actually, today I saw 666 (Quinn) using her tongue on one of the guys. I bet he tasted like expired coke. They do it in movies a lot don't they, but I just don't know. Why is it always girls and guys?" _

_Brittany rambles way too much and has so many freakin' Questions. Then I think that maybe it's because Brittany has never kissed anyone before and is curious. _

"_Have you ever kissed a boy?" I sneak attack my question so I can judge her reaction. After a moment's hesitation Brittany shakes her head. _

"_Well, what do you think it feels like?" _

"_I don't know. I'm fifteen and I don't know!" She answers honestly, "how would I know if I haven't done it before." _

"_You watch it in the movies right? You don't close your eyes at 'that' part?" I joke. "Hey, just try and imagine."_

_Brittany furrows her eyebrows in concentration as if she's trying to compare a kiss to something she's felt before. It amuses me to no end. She's so innocent and I'm going to have a little fun with her. _

"_I can't," she huffs in frustration and makes a fit. I let out a small laugh. This is perfect. _

"_Ok, try this. Look at my tongue." I poke it out so she can have a visual. "Now watch," I command, then begin to roll and flick my tongue in different directions. I end the demonstration by licking my lips slowly. Brittany is still staring at my closed mouth long after I've stopped doing anything. "What did you think or feel just now?" I test._

"_I don't know….disturbed….but like in a good way." Brittany tries her best to explain. It's a start._

"_Great, now think about my tongue doing that in your mouth." I know she's trying hard to imagine it because her eyebrows scrunch together again and she's staring. I show her my tongue again and move it slowly over my own lips and teeth. She lets out a breath of air slowly as I continue to tease her. "Imagine me licking your lips, first the top one….. and then the bottom one." I shift closer – almost mashing our bodies together so that Brittany can feel my breath as I talk. "What if I use my teeth to bite your lip gently and then brush my lips over yours – barely, like this. How do you think that will feel?" _

_Brittany starts to let out more shaky breaths as she gets lost in the world of sensations I've created. We aren't even touching but I know what effect I'm having on her. _

"_Do you want me to stop?" _

"_No keep going," she answers almost immediately. I feel a huge grin of accomplishment creep onto my face. I have her hypnotized under my spell and maybe I'm under it too, or sharing it with her because if my heart rate is any indication, I'm more excited about being near her than I should be. _

"_Ok, look at my hand." I bring it directly in between our faces. "I'm not going to touch you, but imagine what my fingers would feel like moving over your shoulder and slowly – really slowly, coming down your arm." I make my actions mimic my words, only I don't actually make contact with her skin. _

"_I think it feels good." Brittany mutters under her breath. I smile and continue._

"_Now I'm moving back up but I'm turning my hand over so my finger nails are scraping you. They are grazing your neck, moving from the left side ….to the right, then down to this area just above your shirt. How does that feel?" My hand takes the path I've described and a small part of me wishes I was actually doing these things to her. I try something more daring. "Now I'm using my mouth to cover your skin with wet kisses, starting right here below your ear." I shift once again so that I'm leaning over her and breathing directly over that spot. My mouth is centimeters from her skin and I'm tempted to just lower it completely and taste her milky-white neck. "Then here and here," I say and move my mouth down her jaw line, pausing in every spot to let her skin absorb the sensation of my hot breath. She's closing her eyes now, trying desperately to hold back a moan and just focus on breathing. _

_Even I am starting to lose control of what I'm doing, but I continue - this is too good to stop. "I'm bringing my hand to your waist now," I whisper, "and touching the skin of your stomach. Do you feel that?" I touch her this time but lightly and only over her shirt. "My hand is drawing circles. Or do you like straight lines better? Maybe you like hearts, should I draw those?" She nods slightly and I start dragging my fingers over the flat of her stomach the way she wants. "How do you like that? Do you want me to do something else you'll really like?" Again she nods and I can see she has her eyes screwed tight as her chest moves up and down violently. "Open your eyes," I demand and she does so, fearing I'll stop if she disobeys. "Good, now watch." I look into her eyes for a moment to make sure she won't close them again, and then lower my hand past her waist. I don't touch her, but I let my finger tips hover over the fabric of her shorts. "Does it tickle a little bit when I touch your leg like this?" I move up and down her outer thigh before I make my way inward. "What if I touch you here, What if I go higher and higher?" My hand crawls up slowly till it is nearly touching that part of her. She isn't the only one breathing hard now. I'm struggling to contain control over my body as my mouth moves over hers and we exchange hot breaths. I almost let our lips touch. _ I don't like her, not like that. I keep running those words in my head. _The moment just feels right. _

"_Stop," Brittany shouts as she pinches her legs together to limit the ache. I startle at her sudden burst and retract my hand. My heart is beating hard and fast and I know hers is too. _

"_I…I think I know what it feels like …" she stutters. _

_I give her a smirk and then get up like nothing has happened, dragging her along with me. "Let's go in before we're missed. It'd suck to be out here after lockdown." I send her a wicked smile, "If you want we can continue inside though? There are a lot of other words I can say to make you feel …disturbed…in a good way." I open the door for her to walk in first and Brittany shuffles through._

"_That's alright. I know you can talk dirty – even if you didn't eat the purple grass." She whispers, as if afraid the empty halls will echo the hint of what we've just done to another room or to another's ears. _

"Do you like that?" the memory fades into reality and I find myself answering the voice in my ear.

_Yes_

"Yes," the voice of a man says at the same time accompanied by the sound of clinking glasses.

"Good, I thought you might." Brittany is talking to the man in the room but all I hear is her talking to me.

The curtains begin to ruffle and I shrink lower into the corner, away from the light coming from inside the room. It's only Brittany.

I shift closer to the glass doors, just enough for Brittany to make out my form in the shadows - It's the only comfort I can give her right now. "Baby, did I tell you that you look stunning tonight?" I know she hears me because she smiles and gives a small nod. "I want to touch you so bad; I want to kiss you, all over." Brittany closes her eyes and I think she's finding her peace in my words. I can't be in the room with her but I can whisper, I can make her feel like she's not alone.

"The sky is beautiful tonight isn't it?" She says it to the man now standing behind her but once again I know she's saying it to me, "I love starry nights. It's my favorite thing to lie in the grass and look at the lights in the sky. They remind of me of beautiful eyes – eyes like yours." The man smiles as he wraps his arms around Brittany and kisses her on the cheek.

_And yours remind me of precious diamonds and the deep ocean and the promiscuous blue-jay. _I whisper back, as my hand reflexes and reaches under my dress for a gun.

"I know babe, you couldn't keep your eyes away from them all evening. But now I can't keep my eyes away from you." The man takes another sip of wine and I just hope the pills will wear off soon. "Although," he continues, whispering right into Brittany's ear, "there are other things I've waited all night to do to you."

_Even though you're not ready now Britt, I'll wait for as many nights as I have to. I will have you someday the way I had you once before and the things I do to you will send you to another world. _ I erase his words with mine.

Brittany lets out an audible sigh and smiles at what I'm promising. "Let's not wait too long then," She says, turning her body into the man and backing him up to the bed. He falls easily, anticipation written all over his face.

They are both still fully clothed and I pray Brittany can tease him long enough for them to stay that way.

Through the tinted glass doors I watch Brittany take the wine glass out of his hand and cross the room to put it on the table along with her glass. She takes her time not caring that the man is impatient. To keep his mind and hands busy while he waits, he loosens his belt and unzips his pants. After ten minutes of standing by the table, idly pouring more wine into the glasses, the man sits up and orders for Brittany to 'move her sweet ass' to the bed. He speaks with uncontrolled aggravation, not good for anyone right now. I check my gun again so it's ready if things get out of hand.

"Oh my God," Brittany says in quiet terror, it slips out before she can hold it back.

_What Britt?_

"What did you say?" She chooses to answer the man with a seductive smile and saunters towards him. The man grabs her when she is within reach and pulls her on top of him, then he rolls them over so he is pinning her down to the bed. It all happens in a matter of seconds but to me it was like watching it slow motion, he with his hands on her waist, squeezing her against him, rubbing his body against hers. A flame rages inside of me, how dare he treat my girl like that - as if she were just a body there to satisfy his desires.

I watch as he kisses Brittany's neck roughly, I swear if he leaves bite marks on her I'll make sure he has scars as punishments. His moans disgust me and I can't help thinking that this has spiraled out of control. He's going too fast. I wonder when the drug will kick in or if I'll have to take matters into my own hands. I can see Brittany's face contort in pain as she tries hard to breath under his crushing weight.

_Britt, I love the way you smell. Did you know that? When I get the chance I'm going to nuzzle into your neck and get high on the smell of your perfume, high on your sweat after you mesmerize me with your dancing, high on the smell of you after we've made love all night. I'm going to kiss you soft and slow in every place I can because there isn't one single part of you I don't love. _I say it for her and for myself. I imagine a different night where I am the one loving Brittany instead of this man who cares nothing for her. I curse into the whipping air, restraining my arms and legs from doing something stupid that will blow both our covers.

She smiles into the darkness knowing I will catch it. She whispers a 'thank you' back to me and I know everything is going to be alright.

"You're going a bit fast," Brittany warns the man and rolls them over again when she gets the chance. He's not having it, his face displays anger and pent up frustration.

"I have trust issues," she says before he can explode in her face, "especially with people who carry guns in their back pocket." Her tone is playful and it really is a jab at me but I don't mind, Brittany is in control again and doing the thing she does best – play people - the way she plays both Kent and me. In one swift movement she produces a gun and holds it away from him as he tries to reach for it like a boy snatching back his candy. "Are you going to tell me what you're up to?"

"You know I'm Pierre's security man, so of course I have a gun. Now give it back before someone gets hurt." He spits, clearly irritated with all the talking.

"But you see, I don't know," Brittany says in the faux Russian accent she's kept the whole night. "I'm not usually on this job and I have never seen you before tonight so you will tell me how I can trust you when you have this gun. How do I know you are not lying about your job? How do I know you are not planning to shoot Mr. Pierre – or me?"

The man throws his hands in the air and I smile – this game is all Brittany's. He starts trying to convince her by saying that he's been very faithful to Pierre for years and that he's just been heartbroken by his wife leaving him, he says he just needs this night to forget her. It's all lies. After that I can hardly make out what he's saying as his words begin to slur and go around in circles. He continues to be unintelligible for another five minutes before completely passing out. Brittany sighs in relief and checks to make sure he's really unconscious. Once she's satisfied, she scrambles off the bed towards the table and grabs something before running to open the glass doors.

I catch her in embrace the minute she makes it into the cool night air and we both breathe properly for the first time of the evening.

"I was so scared for you Britt," it's no use trying to mask my fear and I don't need to when I'm in her arms – everything is okay now. Brittany just fills her lungs up with the sweet air of relief.

"I couldn't have done it without you San. The more he wanted me the more I wanted you, I imagined you on top of me instead of him." She says shyly. The thought of her thinking of me like that sends another wave of chills up my arm.

"San, he's definitely Millenicon," Brittany breaks the sentimental moment and gets to business. She scrolls through the man's phone and shows me a few text messages similar to what we used to get on missions. "Can you clone the card? I have a feeling the Louve's have little to do with this. It's got to be something against ….I don't know who but…."

"Slow down Britt," I stop her before she dies from her lungs collapsing.

"Beth, the bomb is in Beth's back-pack. Why would they purposefully want to kill a kid? I'm sure Beth isn't the threat – I don't understand."

I stay silent for a while thinking of the possibilities but coming up with nothing, they couldn't be getting back at Quinn. They don't know she's alive.

I get to work cloning the memory card while Brittany paces back and forth deep in thought. It only takes a few seconds to complete the copy and then I'm handing the phone back to Brittany.

"I don't know what sick game this is Britt but we have to get Beth out before it happens." I check my watch. "We have seven hours before the bomb goes off."

Brittany nods seriously then goes back inside to put the phone where it was. My boob starts to buzz, I dig out the phone from my bra. It's Quinn calling.

Brittany and I made sure we left everything exactly how it was before leaving through room 3012. I told Quinn about the bomb location and we agreed to regroup at the apartment. Brittany and I get in fifteen minutes later. The light leaking from the bottom of the front door indicates that Quinn is already back. Inside, shes got sheets of paper with entrance and escape routes drawn in a mess charchol lines. "We'll be out in minute," I tell Quinn then follow Brittany into the room where we dropped our bags earlier to change.

I put on some worn jeans, a black tank top and jacket on top of it. Next to me, Brittany is trading her suit for a leather outfit that sends my mind to Cat Woman or some other sexy woman superhero. It's the combination of her toned physique and the leather that captures my attention for a second too long.

"It wasn't a strip show San, you can stop leaking from your mouth now." Brittany says as she ties her hair in a bun, and now I can see her pretty face. I really need to learn not to get distracted when Brittany is in a five meter radius of me.

"I so wasn't," I swear but discreetly check the edges of my mouth for anything wet. Maybe there was some sweat there that caused an illusion because I'm sure I wasn't that knocked out by her that I didn't know I was salivating.

I roll my eyes at Brittany when she keeps nodding her head and being all sarcastic with her face. What's she trying to say anyways, like 'yeah, Santana. Be more obvious.' Is it wrong that I'm appreciating a beautiful work of art? It'd actually be a crime for that body not to be admired.

"You're doing it again San," Brittany points out and breaks into a loud laugh.

This time I just wipe my mouth quickly and show her my hand to prove I was not drooling.

"I meant staring San. You know, you can go cross-eyed if you do it too much."

Damn it, I will stare as much as I want. It's one of the privileges of her being my girlfriend. I'm about to tell her as much but Quinn – ever the reality check – calls. I guess now just isn't the time for flirting when there is a kid to save.

Brittany and I sit opposite each other at the table while Quinn sits authoritatively at its head - plans drawn and laid out – ready to give orders. Since when did she become commander of our little group? Ultimately this is about saving her kin so it's only logical she'd want to be in control. I chuckle under my breath because my younger self would have jumped at her throat immediately, I wouldn't have let up a chance to contradict her. We all grow up. Except I'm not acting really grown up right now, getting distracted from Quinn's speech with visuals of Brittany being badass in her leather suit. Its' not my fault Brittany's foot keeps brushing against mine. It's a habit of hers, when she's concentrating or being serious her legs swing in a steady rhythm and they just so happen to be hitting me under the table. That's how I got distracted in the first place and now, the only thing interesting my tired brain is Brittany.

"Can you fuckin' listen Santana? Brittany isn't going to disappear; you don't have to watch her 24/7!"

Quinn sounds exasperated and Brittany's got 'I told you' written all over her face.

"I got it Quinn," I snap out of my daydream, I was totally listening. "But I don't understand why I have to get the kid, me and kids – bad combination." The last time I encountered a kid, he ran away for fear I was going to steal his candy. Come on! I was just going to ask him where the roller-coasters were. I thought he wouldn't understand me so I pointed to his coiled candy and said what I was looking for looked like that. Either the kid was an immigrant or I legit spooked him out. So this idea about me bringing Beth to safety doesn't sound like a promise of success at all.

"Because you're like Dylan in Charlie's Angels. I think she's the coolest angel –she's the baddest of all of them anyways." Brittany's point really doesn't get across because I'm not making the connection.

"So now we are Charlie's Angels?" I ask further, I can't help it. I love it when Brittany talks about her ideas and more often than not there's a real point to them and it's actually something genius, if only I can make sense of it.

"I know none of us have black hair, but other than that it's practically the same thing." Brittany looks like she's saying something really important. "I'm Natalie, duh. Blond, goes with the flow, can make anyone like me and, of course, the fastest runner. You're Dylan. Real bad and nasty to most people unless you want something from them then your sweet, like really sweet, like not Santana. And you always kick the bad guys' butts. Quinn is Alex. Super smart, can make people do what she wants and just all around awesome. Also she has a secret kid like Alex has a secret boyfriend. Most importantly, we're like the angels because we're three girls, we're a team, and we're doing something good."

I didn't know metaphors went that deep or took that many bypasses. Quinn must be thinking along the same lines judging by her still face and raised eyebrow. I've got to admit though; Brittany really knows how to read people.

"Ok, ….angels." Quinn runs with the idea. It does sort of lighten the mood. "Does everyone agree to the plan?"

I want to answer no, I still need that explanation. But I figure it's not worth the time, whatever the reason, I'm not getting out of doing my part so might as well bite the bullet and hope one doesn't come zinging towards me while I'm hauling a child down a tree.

"Yellow," I roll my eyes, this is so lame. Only playground spies use color codes. But here I am complying with Brittany's wishes for 'safe communication'. Whatever I'm not whipped, I'm just trying to get this mission done and over with so if Brittany needs color codes to feel safe then that's what we're using. I almost killed Quinn for those slashing noises she was non-discreetly making.

"Repeat, yellow. Is it safe to proceed?" We're back to ear and mouthpieces again and I'm sitting behind a bush on the sidewalk waiting for the go ahead. "Stand-by red, two down one left." Brittany replies. So I lean my head back against the wall and I wait. When we scattered, we set the time for twenty minutes max and it's already been seven. Quinn went to the west side of the house where one guard was on patrol. Brittany took the east side and when he was out, they'd both keep the last guy busy while I snagged Beth.

"Move orange move! We've got the last gagged." That's all I need to hear. I jump up and dash across the yard. While I'm running I can hear Brittany correcting Quinn on the importance of using the right color code for the right agent otherwise there could be a catastrophic misunderstanding and cause a failed mission. Take that Quinn.

There's no need to be secret here, I sprint straight to the house. Mr. Fail-at –seducing-my- girlfriend already had my back covered with his false camera images. I get to the tree which is conveniently near to the window of what is Beth's bedroom and climb up in record speed. I'm glad to find I haven't lost my agility over the years as I scale it in a few seconds. I get on the branch extending towards Beth's window and walk steadily, one foot in front of the other till I'm at the end. It's still a distance from the slates, maybe about two meters. I ready myself and then jump safely and silently to the other side.

"Entering now," I update Quinn and Brittany.

The window is locked but that's no problem for me, picking it is easy. I land stealthily in the dark room; I'd look at the décor if my focus wasn't already on the sleeping form wrapped snuggly in blankets on the bed. I walk up slowly till I'm near enough to touch the covers when the lamp brightens behind me and I turn to see a small somebody with their gun trained on me.

"Stop right there. What are you doing? Hold your hands up." It's Beth, it has to be. Those green eyes, that eyebrow raise, the perfect nose – she couldn't look more like Quinn if she tried. I glance back at lump on the bed which is clearly just a dummy. Beth got the brains too but maybe not all of them.

I hold up my hands in a peace stance. "What's going on?" I hear Quinn ask worriedly. I would just love to tell her that her daughter is some sort of replica of her and has a gun pointed at me.

"Hey Beth," I choose to ignore Quinn and let her figure out for herself what is going on. "I'm just here to uh," I can't say 'save you', or can I? This was so not part of the plan and I knew this would happen. Why does nobody listen when I say something isn't ideal? Well, now I'm going to have to make the best of it.

"You can't even tell me why you're sneaking into my room at two in the morning? You're a really bad…whatever you are." Beth says in her bossy voice that could very well be Quinn's and doesn't lower her gun.

"Look" I walk towards her. The gun isn't even real and no one has died of BB bullets. "I was told to by someone that something bad is going to happen to you, so that's why I'm here. I'm going to take you somewhere safe."

"Nuh, uh. I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't even know you."

This is getting really tiring. I've just about blown our twenty minutes. "Elizabeth," I say more firmly, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You come with me willingly or I take you."

"Yeah, you sound really friendly. Are you going to tell me we're going for an ice-cream now? I'm not going anywhere with a stranger. I'm going to press my alarm now and all the guards are going to come get you."

"No, don't do that!" This is so out of hand. "Fine, I'll leave but someone else is coming for you instead." I scowl at the impossible eight years old and climb back out the window.

"Quinn, come get your daughter. She's just as bad as you." I sit in the tree outside and stare at Beth who is staring back at me like she doesn't believe I'm just going to sit there and watch her.

"I can't Santana," Quinn says softly and I can hear Brittany saying 'color codes, you're not being professional.'

"Why can't you? I told you it was a bad idea for me to get her."

"Who are you talking to?" Beth's eyes widen and then squint in confusion.

"You're mother," I let loose and almost immediately wish I hadn't said it.

"You can't say that to her Santana!" I expected Quinn to say that. "I… Brittany's going."

"Fine," I stop talking and wait for Brittany to come. Beth is still looking at me as if I was an alien, she hasn't moved from the window sill. After a few minutes Beth's door open's and in comes Brittany.

"Hi Beth, why aren't you asleep?" I doubt Brittany is going to get anywhere with convincing Beth to leave. If I'm lucky, they'll find something to talk about and their conversation will last up till the sun graces the horizon and then Beth will fall asleep and Brittany will hand her to me so everyone can evacuate property before the bomb explodes.

"This angry girl came into my bedroom." Beth points out the window to where I am sitting with my arms folded.

I'm surprised Beth isn't shocked to see Brittany, perhaps they met before. "Hey, I wasn't angry until you clearly showed you weren't going to participate." I can't help but retort.

"Elizabeth, don't worry about her. She's… just the new nanny, Giselle was sick so she couldn't come to pick you up to take you back to boarding school today."

"Why was she climbing through my window then? She's weird." The scowl on her face continues to be directed at me.

"I agree," Brittany nods and I'm left speechless. Is anyone ever on my side? "She probably forgot the keys."

This is going nowhere, it's been half an hour and we really need to move out. I point that out to Brittany by tapping my wrist watch.

"Oh right. Uh, Elizabeth… you have to go to leave for boarding school now. The train is leaving earlier so we don't have much time."

Beth nods and then asks Brittany to help her get her stuff. I hear Brittany say that she doesn't have to take her backpack. The bomb was in there, and it was hanging in Beth's cupboard. There are two choices here, we can let it be and watch the house explode or we can deactivate it and save everyone. If it were just me, I'd do option two in a heart-beat but there's a reason why we should let the bomb go off – for our own protection and for Beth's.

"Hey," I hear Brittany call and I look towards the window just in time to catch a sack of things. Then Brittany helps Beth up on the window ledge and tells me to grab her hand.

"Why don't we just use the front door?" Beth protests as she teeter tattles on the edge of the roof with one of her hands gripping mine. By this time Brittany has told Quinn to meet us outside the gate.

"Can you stop asking questions right now? You don't want to die do you?"

"No," Beth whimpers and now I see she's really scared. Great going Lopez, not helping at all.

"Ok, then do exactly as I say and you'll be alright."

"Anya, are you sure about this?" Beth turns her head to Brittany. "I want to say goodbye to Mum and Dad before going leaving, and I want to go out the front door. I don't like the nanny."

Brittany shakes her head, "I'm sorry Elizabeth but your dad has a really early business meeting and needs his sleep - your mum too." I can see in Brittany's eyes that she doesn't like lying one bit. It works though and Beth submits.

"Ok, what I want you to do is jump. I'm holding you so you won't fall." I count for her, 'one, two, three,' and then she does it. I clench my hand around her arm tightly and as she swings close to me, I grab her body and pull her in. I let out a sigh once Beth is clinging to me tightly, safe in my arms – mission accomplished.

"We got to get out of here," I say after everyone has calmed down. I tell Beth to hold onto my back as I descend slowly down the tree. She doesn't protest and I find this part of the escape plan the easiest so far.

Once we're at the bottom I check to see if Brittany is following just as she jumps the last meter to the ground and then we rush to the safety outside the confining walls.

It's there that I drop off my heavy bundle and Quinn walks out from behind a tree.

There's not really a way to describe a moment like this. When a mother sees her child after many long years of separation, not knowing how her child is, what her child looks like, and what it feels like to be reunited. It all happens though when Quinn walks up to Beth in amazement and the little girl just looks shocked and clutches the satchel slung around her shoulder right up to her heart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've never written adventure or action before so this was my shot at it, tell me what you think. If it's bad I might have another alternative to where this story goes. <strong>


	14. Through your eyes

**It took me a while to hammer this one out. I've had mid-term exams and obligations to write other stories. Also, I've been guilty of reading fanfiction instead of writing :) **

**I hope people still enjoy reading this.**

**The chapter is a bit shorter, sorry about that. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

"M..m…mom?" Beth stutters barely above a whisper. If it weren't so quiet the word would have been missed but it reached all of our ears. I look in Quinn's direction; she's gulping in air and not saying anything.

"How?" she finally manages to croak out. She steps towards Beth slowly, hoping not to scare her away, and kneels down face to face with her long lost daughter. Beth doesn't say a word but starts to unzip the satchel she's been clutching for dear life. She pulls out a picture. It's old and wrinkled, slightly torn on the edge and the color fading but the clarity of the picture is still clear as day. Quinn alternates between staring at the picture in Beth's hand and the looking into the frightened green eyes staring back at her. I don't see it clearly from where I'm standing but I make out three figures in the picture, Quinn, Noah, and baby Beth.

A car passes, putting me back on alert. We aren't safe yet – not on these streets.

"Quinn, we need to go. You can have mother and daughter time later, in a secure place. We're sticking out like sore thumbs right now." I wake Quinn out of her comatose and she immediately shifts her eyes left and right down the rather forlorn streets.

"We better go." Quinn says standing up quickly.

"Am I going with you?" Beth speaks up in her squeaky voice and all our eyes are on her once again. Our eyes dart to each other, silently asking who is going to explain things to the confused little girl.

"Beth," Brittany breaks the silence, "I know you don't understand right now, but we need you to come with us. Qu…your mom, would really like to talk to you."

A moment of decision passes before Beth slowly nods her head up and down. "Ok," she whispers.

Brittany and I start walking across the street back to the apartment. There's a smile adorning Brittany's face, one of satisfaction. She glances at me and holds my gaze for a moment when a well timed growl erupts from one of us. I can't tell all I know is that Brittany is breaking into a cackle and I find myself not able to hold back from giggling.

"Hold on Brittany." I put my arm on her elbow to stop her just as we reach the steps leading up to the door of the building. I need to tell Quinn something so I turn around. I don't think I've seen something so cute or awkward in my life. Quinn is just making it across the street with Beth in tow, the little girl holds onto Quinn's index finger tentatively, swinging her arms a little bit in hopes of getting some reaction out of Quinn. The taller girl of course seems unable to give any type of response that doesn't result in swearing. I can see her mumbling 'shit' repeatedly under her breath; she must now be realizing how real this is and wondering how she's going to get through tonight with this extra little person clinging to her.

"Quinn," I call out when she's a few feet away, "is it ok if Brittany and I walk the town for a while? Will you be ok with Beth?" I know it's got to be hard on her, she could use some support right now but what I think she needs most is solicited time with Beth. "We won't be long and if you need anything, you can reach us on the phone."

Quinn nods her head but then quickly averts her eyes to Beth as if the decision isn't hers to make alone.

"Do you…want to talk with me upstairs Beth? Would that be ok?" Quinn asks and Beth replies with a small nod, her eyes never leaving Quinn's. With that affirmation Quinn turns back to me, "I think we'll be ok Santana, but I'll call you if I need to."

I don't know why I'm doing it but I bring Quinn in for a quick hug and tell her she's not alone in this, that whatever happens Brittany and I will be there for her. I guess I felt like showing her support since this is something huge for her, having her kid back in her life again like this. It was huge for me with Brittany's return so I know the feeling.

Brittany gives Quinn a hug right after me and she also stoops down to pat Beth on the head, telling her to be good for her mom. Beth smiles but it drops just as quickly, "I thought your name was Anya, why did the angry girl call you Brittany?" She's one perceptive girl, she just screams 'Quinn'. Her question lightens the mood incredibly as Brittany tells her that she has two names because one is for work and the other for friends. "Can I call you Brittany too? I want to call you the friend name because mom and the angry girl get to and we're friends, I taught you the special handshake." I roll my eyes at her insistence at calling me 'angry girl,' she's just like her mother – she doesn't like people easily unless they're someone like Brittany, always the exception. Brittany tells Beth she can call her by her 'friend' name and then they do the special handshake right there. I will forever be astounded as to how quickly Brittany can bond with people, it's a gift.

After a final farewell and watching Quinn lead Beth into the building I turn my attention back to Brittany. "It's not fair you know how people like you so easily." I mutter while taking her hand in mine and squeezing it. I don't mean it in a bad sense, everything about her is so wonderful I'm not surprised people take to her and I'm no exception, she has me wrapped around her finger. It's embarrassing to admit even if just to myself in silence.

"If you made yourself more likeable, I'm sure wouldn't have problems in that area." Brittany jabs me in the side with her elbow as we make our way up a busier street.

"No thank you, I'm doing just fine." I respond, "Besides, I don't care who does or doesn't like me. You like me and that's all that matters."

"Well who said I liked you?" Brittany raises her eyebrow. She's not smiling, I hope she isn't serious, did she mean that?

"San?" Brittany breaks me from my thoughts. She brings her fingers up to my forehead to smoothen out the wrinkles until my face relaxes under her touch. "I can't just like you San when I love you, stop worrying."

I smile at her words, and wonder why I'm so insecure about her, about us. It's probably because I live by the motto 'no good things happen to people like me', and by that I mean people who are bad - people who don't deserve to have something good like Brittany. "I'm sorry," I manage to reply while avoiding her gaze, I'm really not ready for this or for her but the last thing I'm going to do is let her go. "I don't want you to feel like I'm not sure about us. I am. You've been the only thing I've wanted for ten years; sometimes I just wonder how I deserve you."

"Let me show you what you deserve then so you can stop wondering," Brittany raises my chin up so I have no choice but to look in her eyes. In them I see determination and a small ounce of hurt. It's gone in a second though as her eyes shade over and she gently brushes her lips against mine. I close my eyes and I can imagine a day when I'm not afraid of showing my feelings. "Come on," Brittany whispers into my mouth, "by the end of tonight you'll know exactly what you deserve."

Does she mean? The glint in her eyes certainly hints at it, but it's too soon, isn't it? Just the prospect excites me in all the right places. This girl is going to be the end of me; she knows how to play me just right. I've been reduced to a person hopelessly in love with a blue eyed beauty who can do with me whatever she wishes. This is pathetic, no; this is how it's supposed to be. Never in my life have I felt so comfortable submitting myself to someone. It felt good, and right. I was going to abandon my ego because it really had no place when it came love.

"Earth to Santana," I focus my eyes on Brittany once more and her smile melts me. "Follow me."

She leads me by our clasped hands and I get that tingling in my stomach knowing I'll gladly go anywhere she wants me to.

Brittany pulls the seat out for me to sit before seating herself opposite of me. The empty little bistro is perfect and Brittany's eyes are even more surreal under the flickering orange lights.

"What do you want?" Brittany asks, glancing over the menu to see I haven't even been looking at the one in front of me. I tell her I'll get whatever she's getting so she rolls her eyes and orders us two bacon carbonaras.

I've kind of been wondering all evening how Brittany pulled off the whole dinner arrangement and got to know Beth in the few hours I was buying a dress and getting my hair done. Sometimes I'm sure I know everything about Brittany but sometimes she surprises me. Sometimes she's like wonder-woman.

"Hey Britt, I think you're really awesome," way to sound corny Santana. Brittany didn't seem to mind though, she keeps looking at me expectantly and I remember that I left my words hanging. "Are you going to tell me the secret to being wonder-woman?"

Brittany chuckles and covers her smile as if mocking me thinking that. "Don't be silly, I didn't jump off a building or anything." She replies just as our food comes, then she digs in without saying another word.

Sometimes it's difficult to judge Brittany's actions. I'm not saying she's bipolar or anything but she has a way of being one thing and then the opposite in the change of a second. She was being all serious a minute ago and then she says something like that, jumping off a building, like it's the world's greatest joke. I shake my mind off Brittany long enough to spin the noodles around my fork and take a bite. I can see why Brittany has decided to stop talking to me altogether, this stuff tastes amazing.

"So you going to tell me how you did all that stuff? Stand in assistant? getting to know Beth? I'm impressed and this is coming from me." I let her know it's not every day I throw compliments like that. She smiles back as if she gets it and tells me everything from putting cat food in the assistant's pie, stealing the name roster and one of her suits, making a last minute appearance at Pierre's house, meeting Beth and helping her finish a 500 piece puzzle, the special handshake and finally getting me a seat by sending the real Serena's chauffer to the wrong address on the other side of town.

"Couldn't have done better myself" I set my silverware straight and plop my head down on my open palms. I'm tired and smile through half-lidded eyes. Brittany seems fine though, excited as ever to be in a new place. I don't understand how she always has so much energy; and I feel bad that I can't keep up; she has been nothing but amusing and entertaining all evening.

"Are you tired?" Brittany asks and I sit up a little straighter and shake my head firmly. I don't to ruin the evening for her.

"No, Britt's I'm fine. Did you want to do something?" It's on the tip of her tongue I can see her physically holding back, I must not be doing a very good job with hiding the strain of the day. "Just say it Brittany." I reach my hand out to take hers, prodding her gently to let me know what I can do for her.

"I know you're doing this for me, but I want to do this for you too. I want to take you to see the Eiffel Tower." Brittany looks so excited and I really couldn't care who was doing the doing. I just want to be the person responsible for the light in her eyes - of course I agree to let her take me.

It feels more like I'm the one taking her since I lived here and I've seen the lighted tower more times than I care to remember but this time feels special. It's true, that people make things more meaningful. The Eiffel Tower never looked quite so beautiful nor did the lights shine more extraordinarily than as this time. It's reflection in Brittany's wide eyes is the only time memorable time I've seen it.

"Have you ever been to the top?" Brittany wonders out loud while straining her neck to see the very tip of the tower. "Have you?" I reply. I know she hasn't and I'm not planning on letting this night go to waste.

"Come," I drag her by the hand to the elevator station. The operator is nowhere to be seen. I see Brittany's face drop for a second, not sure if this means we'll have to come back later or maybe in the morning. "It's alright Brittany, I got this." I've seen the operators do this so many times, there's hardly a way to mess up. I click the button that will take us to the top while Brittany looks from me to the scarce people wandering around on the ground. I wink at her when she locks eyes on me once again. This is hardly badass and I'm as badass as they get.

I pull her in closer to me with the hand I still have attached to her and then wrap myself around her back as she enjoys the view. We climb higher and higher and her anticipation grows, I can feel it in the way she doesn't stand entirely still. It isn't long before the elevator doors open at the top and we step out into the cool refreshing air at the top.

"It's …so…pretty." Brittany struggles to form a sentence and I knew she's feeling the way I felt up here for the first time. The light display from the top is really breathtaking. We don't do anything but gaze off into the night and listen to the wind whip past the metal framework, creating a hissing sort of sound that I hadn't noticed before. It's funny how we notice things when we aren't paying attention.

"San…you're so beautiful." It comes out of the blue, at least that's how it feels but I must have spaced off for longer than I thought because Brittany has this amused smile on her face like she's been staring at me for a while, just studying me. I feel my face heat up a bit as I look away from her piercing eyes. "Thanks?" I reply, wanting to break the silence that has me breathing like I've been through a triathlon.

"Can I tell you something?" Brittany's face turns serious and I hope this isn't a life changing announcement. I nod my head but can't bring myself to look at her. I want to be able to control my reactions if it's something bad. "You have to look at me Santana." Brittany lifts my chin up and the moment we lock eyes I give in.

"I was having doubts…about us."

I can't help feeling the ache in my heart begin to burn again.

"I know we just got together, and I was sure…I've always been sure you were the one. But that day when you said relationships were hard it got me thinking. What if we get in so deep but in the end we just crash and burn?"

"No we won't, Brittany…why are you saying this?" The words bubble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I know where this is leading and I can't stand anymore time away from Brittany.

"I'm not done yet Santana. Listen to me." Brittany's face is earnest and once again I've realized my failure to let her speak without interruption.

"Ok, I'm sorry, I'm listening." I take a gulp of air to calm my nerves.

"We could crash and burn Santana. We both don't know what we're doing." Brittany pauses to let that sink in for a moment. In my heart I know she's right.

"But I thought about us. How we…we sort of saved ourselves for each other for ten years. That's a long time Santana, and a lot of patience too, especially on your part." She smirks and I do the same; she knows me too well.

"And if I wanted to take a chance like this with someone, it'd be you. We could do every wrong thing in the book but I'd want you to be the one I try and fix it with. I don't care how hard it is Santana. Today I just felt like we were meant to be. There's no one who knows me like you do and I hope there isn't anyone who knows you better than I do. And I decided – I love you too much to not take this chance with you. It feels like I'm starting a new life with you and I want it so bad." A tear trickles down the side of Brittany's face and before she can wipe it away I cradle her face and flick it off.

"Brittany, I love you too. It's only natural you'd be scared. I'm scared too but we have each other and we were always better as a team. I of course it's going to be hard but there's nothing we can't do together. I just…I love you so much…you don't even know how much…I'd wait another ten years for you…I'd…"

I don't know how to put my deepest feelings into words and I don't have to as Brittany lunges towards me and kisses me with so much force my back hits the railing. The next minutes go by in a heated flurry of tongues, teeth and uncontrollable hands. I've never had a kiss like that in my life. It was so raw and passion fueled I thought I might go into a coma and not wake up ever again. I wouldn't mind that, a Brittany infused coma isn't bad at all.

"Wow, you're hair needs a little taming." I laugh loudly as I try to pat down Brittany's golden locks. She looks like a lion after a wild chase. "I could say the same to you." Brittany replies and we both break into a fit of giggles.

"There's another reason I brought you up here though San," Brittany says lovingly and pulls me into an embrace. She turns me around so I'm facing the whole city as she wraps me in her arms from behind. She holds me like that for a minute and I can't tell if it's to calm me down or make my heart beat faster.

"See the city?" Brittany whispers in my ear. It's so sexy and warm and comforting all at the same time. She's working her magic again. "You don't only deserve me, but the lights and houses, the river, the boats, the sea. You deserve that and more. You deserve the world." I smile from pure happiness; Brittany is going to turn me into one of those saps, she needs to stop saying things that melt my heart.

"You want to know why?"

I nod my head then nuzzle it into her shoulder a little bit more.

"…because you, Santana, are brave. You fight for what you want. You follow your heart. You destroy things completely till there is nothing left, but you love with everything you have as well. Honest people deserve rewards and honestly? You deserve every single one of them. Don't ever say you don't deserve me or anything good. You should really start seeing life gives you cotton candy as well as lemons."

I wasn't ready for that but she made a believer out of me. Suddenly it didn't feel so hard to let down my walls. And thought maybe I could make it without burning too badly. "Thanks Brittany, I promise…I'll do everything to not disappoint you. Give me time but I'll get there."

"That's all I need to hear, and don't forget we're doing this together. I'm learning just as you are and I know it won't be easy but even though I'm not that smart, I'm not stupid enough to let you go."

I turn around look deeply into Brittany's eyes. I want to remember the shine in them forever. "You're not stupid Brittany; you're the smartest person I know." I kiss her nose then lean my body onto hers. The exhaustion of the day has really caught up with me now and I just want to get into bed and snuggle with Brittany's arms around me.

"Let's go home baby." I hear Brittany say and then we're looking at the marvelous city from the top for the final time as the elevator crawls down.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I might not be updating so regularly seeing as I don't have a lot of time and I have so many things to do. Also, I don't know how many people are still interested. I'm not going to stop writing it though, but updates may take a little longer. <strong>


	15. Alright

**Here's another update! **

**A big thank you to everyone who reads this story and especially to the people who take the time to review. I hope I do a good job at keeping this interesting and fun.**

**BTW, I'm looking for a beta so if anyone is interested feel free to PM me.**

** enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 14<p>

I follow Brittany into the apartment still tired and ready to drop. I know it won't be that easy though, there will be drama with Quinn. She's the queen of it. The room is dark; the only light comes from the hanging lamp over the marble table where Quinn is sitting. She's got alcohol as expected. She could really use it, not that she should be drinking when her daughter is somewhere in the apartment but a good drink at the end of a stressful day sure helps.

"How was your date?" Quinn smiles our way. Brittany and I seat ourselves at the marble table. Quinn looks like she has so much to say and I wouldn't mind hearing it.

"It was really nice," Brittany answers before I can correct her about it not being an officially a date. I'm glad I didn't speak first though, because it should be considered a date now that Brittany and I are girlfriends, officially. Well, I'm not really sure if we're official. How do you make it official anyway? I asked her and she said yes so we sort of are right? Or is it when we tell everybody?

I feel a pat on my hand and look up through my half-lid eyes to see Quinn laughing softly. "You ok? Do you want to sleep?"

I do, so bad, but I need to be here for Quinn. She's got to unload her worries on someone and I can just listen even if I'm resting my eyes. "No that's alright Quinn, I'm fine. So are you going to tell us what you talked about with Beth?"

I prop my head on my hand and wait. Brittany strokes my hair and leans into me, her body is really warm. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep baby? I can stay awake with Quinn. I'll tell you everything later."

I'm really tempted to go to bed; my eyes can't take the light much longer. "Ok, I'll go get changed and stuff. If I don't ever make it back then you'll know I fell asleep." Brittany smiles at that. She kisses the side of my head just like my mother used to when I was little. It's just what I needed, I missed getting goodnight kisses. My mom never forgot to give me one, no matter how late she came home she'd always come into my room and kiss me goodnight. I didn't feel it every time but I just knew she did it every night. In the morning I'd be greeted by a note pinned on the refrigerator door, and that's about all I can remember about me and my mom. I don't even have a picture of her anymore, I wish I did though. The only one I could get my hands on was the one used in the news article about her death. I didn't want to keep it. Maybe I would find one in the house back in the States if I ever gathered enough courage to see the place again.

I squeeze Brittany's shoulder and head to the room where my bag is. It's not there. I try to make sense of where I had put it. I was sure I put it in this room. I turn the light back off as I make my way across the living area towards Quinn's room. Maybe she put everything in there so it'd be in one place.

"Are you looking for your bag Santana? Sorry, I moved everything to my room. I didn't know when you guys were getting back and it was easier to watch all the stuff that way." Quinn spoke in a whisper for some reason. Beth is probably sleeping so she's trying to be quiet. "Its fine," I reply and enter the room on the opposite side.

My eyes have adjusted to the dark somewhat so I easily spot a pile of luggage in front of the bathroom. I grab my things and enter the bathroom, closing the door quietly so I don't awake the sleeping girl.

Feeling refreshed from my shower and also slightly more awake, I step out and put my belongings neatly back into my back pack, checking that everything I brought is still in there. Everything seems to be in order. I silently decide if I should go to bed or join the conversation outside. Bed seems nice but I'm not so tired anymore and if I listen to Quinn at least I'll have Brittany's company as well.

I move my feet across the floor lightly, thinking Beth is still sleeping. I almost jump out of my skin when she calls me out. "Why were you showering in my room? Where's mom?" Her emerald eyes pierce through the darkness and I can see from the silhouette of the bathroom light that Beth is sitting up with her arms crossed. That's the second disapproving look I've received from her tonight.

"I'm sorry," I reply. I forgot that showering was noisy and could possibly wake Beth up. I don't know what to say or if I should even continue having this conversation with her. "Go back to sleep Beth," I finally say. Beth frowns and shakes her head. This is not good, if Quinn finds out I woke Beth up well she could get really mad. I let out a huff and walk towards Beth cautiously; I don't want to scare her into a fit.

"Hey, I'm really sorry for waking you up. Were you having good dreams?"

Where did that come from? I sit down as far away from Beth as possible but slowly scoot closer when she makes no movement. She looks so deep in thought, I'm afraid of breaking her out of it. When I'm close enough to touch her I hesitate for a second before laying my hand on her knee. I hope it's alright, although I wouldn't be surprised if she started throwing angry daggers at me. She didn't though; she actually surprised me in a different way by looking me right in the eyes without any hostility.

"I was dreaming of mom and dad. Not my real ones, my real real ones. I was just trying to remember." Beth scrunched her brow then stared at the bathroom door. "We were at the beach, and I could hear the waves. That turned out to be you in the shower." I smile apologetically and she just shrugs. "I was splashing in the waves and mom was happy. She had a big smile on her face, not the crookedy kind that only reachs her cheeks and not her eyes. Dad was there too, but I couldn't see him very well. It was a long time ago when I he came to visit."

Beth keeps telling me what she does on the beach but all I can think of is the 'dad' part and if Quinn knows about it. Could Beth be telling the truth? Would Noah really visit his estranged daughter? Why?

"I don't know what to tell mom now. She said I could think about it for one night but she wants me to go with her really bad. I think she's not telling me something, I know when adults make up answers that don't say anything." Beth lets out a loud, exaggerated sigh and lies down with a plop. "So?" she side eyes me and I remember that I should probably say something. "Why were you showering in my bathroom?"

I didn't expect that to return.

"I was tired and just needed a quick shower. I forgot that it might wake you up. But now that you are and it doesn't look like you're going to sleep maybe we could talk?" I could try and help Quinn out by convincing Beth to go with her.

I still don't feel up to this kids business but I could always use the practice I think. One day I'm going to have them, probably. No, probably not unless Brittany demanded and even then I'd probably protest. But I'm getting ahead of myself and I shake those thoughts off completely.

"So?" it's my turn to raise my eyebrows at her. "Want to tell me what you talked about with your mom?" It sounds weird on my tongue calling Quinn that, how can this girl not be having crazy reactions knowing she has another mom? Maybe she's known all along. She does have a picture.

"I like you, you know?" Beth smiles at me genuinely for the first time. And I find that I do actually like her too. "We should get introduced again; you probably don't like me calling you 'the angry lady'. I'm Elizabeth Renee Louve, but that might change after tonight so I'll tell you if I get a new name." I chuckle at that, she's got humor like Brittany.

"I'm Santana Lopez, that's my friend name. I also have a work name – well, several work names."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Lopez," Beth shoots her hand out, I grab it and we shake firmly. "I think I'll ask mom if I can have a visitor name since I'm not working yet and putting my books away doesn't count."

Her serious look and tone is so endearing, maybe kids aren't so bad.

"By the way, it's just Ms. Lopez, not Mrs." I remember to correct her; god knows what will happen to me if she calls me Mrs. Lopez in front of Brittany or Quinn.

"Oh, I thought you and Brittany were married. Mom told me you were together ever since you were fourteen and that you finally popped the question like yesterday. Also you were smiling real big, holding hands and going on a date."

"Hold up, who said we went on a date? We just had dinner." How does this girl pick up so much? It's scaring me just that bit more. I make a mental note to kill Quinn for thinking it relevant to share information about me with her daughter. It's not like we're going to see each other again after Quinn takes Beth back to her mountain retreat.

"Did you kiss her?"

"What?" I was not expecting that nor do I know what to expect with Beth because everything with her so far has been unexpected.

"You're not answering me so that means you did." Beth smiles smugly and wiggles her eyebrows victoriously knowing she caught me. The action reminds me of someone else who used to wiggle his eyebrows at me when he wanted to get in my pants, like father like daughter.

"She kissed me ok?"

"Well now you said it. Friends don't hold hands, go out to dinner and kiss without it being a date."

"You're just like your mom." I pat her head playfully, "real smart up here. And if I were you I'd do the really smart thing and listen to her."

"But my other mom and dad will miss me." I don't miss the slight glumness in her voice even though she doesn't look very upset.

"There are just some things we don't understand Beth, but it's for the best if you go with…" All this 'mom' stuff is making it hard to communicate, "You should go with Quinn. One day, probably soon, you'll understand everything. But for now I need you to say yes to Quinn ok?" I know I don't sound reasonable but it's the best I can do. I hope she agrees.

"What's going to happen? Mom says it's bad but she won't tell me."

"and for a good reason. You have to believe me that it's for the best. She loves you."

"ok"

Beth gets out of her covers and I hope she's not going to get Quinn because then Quinn would know I woke her up. But Beth doesn't get off the bed. She crawls on all fours towards me and jumps at my neck with arms open wide. We almost topple onto the floor. For a moment I close my eyes and tell her everything is going to be ok as she nuzzles into my neck. I don't have many comforting words to say, I've never had to comfort anyone besides myself and I usually do that with words not suitable for Beth's ears. So I repeat it over and over into her ear. It's going to be ok. I feel her breathing even out. That's another first; I've never had a kid fall asleep in my arms. I let out my own breath and lay Beth down, pulling the covers over her small frame.

The light is still on outside but Brittany and Quinn aren't at the table anymore when I get there.

"If you're looking for Brittany, she went to bed," Quinn grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and from a small peek inside I can see she's got some milk, apples and raisins stocked up also there is a box of Cheerio's by the sink. She's trying to be a good mother already but did someone not tell her they don't put fresh apple in cereal? I lean on the kitchen island and watch her cut a half into small dices.

"Did you fall asleep in my room?" Quinn doesn't turn around, just keeps chopping. Maybe I should tell her she isn't doing it right – or I could just let Beth tell her.

"Uh, no. I was just checking my stuff and um organizing it." I actually want to talk with Quinn about keeping Beth in the dark but Quinn's busy and tired. She probably already told Brittany anyways. "Well, I'm going to bed now. Wake me up when you're leaving."

"I'll be fine Santana. Go to bed, Brittany only left me a few minutes ago."

Her voice is so telling of how tired she is and how much more there still is to do – like starting a new life all over again. I have the urge to hug her and so I do. I can tell she's surprised but she doesn't push me away. I hold her like that for as long as I need to till she lets out a sigh and relaxes her body into my embrace. "Everything is going to be ok Quinn. You and Beth are going to be ok."

"Thanks Santana. I don't think you've been this friendly with me…ever. I blame Brittany for this new person with feelings." We share a laugh and say goodnight before I go to bed.

The room is dark. No use waiting for my eyes to adjust when I'll just be closing them two seconds later. With that in mind I plop face first onto the bed. The covers move and then Brittany emerges from the under them. The right side is always Brittany's side of the bed, great time to forget.

"Sorry, Britts. Did I hurt you? Did I wake you? Well obviously I did because you're awake now…sorry." The words shoot out and me along with them.

Brittany chuckles and shakes her head. I'm standing up two feet away from the bed now after having jumped off of Brittany so she reaches out her hand for me to take. I grab it and she leads me back onto the bed. I can see her eyes are still shining from the moonlight and she's smiling that calming smile. I climb under the covers next to her on her side of the bed as she wraps me in her arms. It feels safe and warm. I fall asleep in the best way possible – with a kiss on my forehead.

"Morning San," Brittany is sitting at the end of the bed holding a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," I reply, looking out the window to see that the sun is out in full force. It must be late morning already. "What time is it?"

"Nine-forty. I have coffee for you on the table. It's still hot since I just went out to get it."

"You went out in that?" I point to her attire which is only a spaghetti strap and boxer shorts with… suspenders?

It's kind of hot and I don't want to be suppressing the image of her in that outfit doing things to me with those suspenders. She could use them as a whip, that'd be totally hot. I look away before my fantasy goes any further. "Tell me you didn't."

"No, I put on a coat. Waste actually since it's so nice out and I could have used the tanning."

"Nuh, uh." I shake my head wildly. It'd be crime for Brittany to be seen out and about in those clothes. My criminal record would lengthen substantially, what with all the people I'd have to kill for leering. "I'm the jealous type; those legs are for my eyes only." I get off the bed and walk past her for my coffee; Brittany is smiling at my possessiveness.

"So any plans?" Brittany joins me at the table.

I've been savoring the taste of the delicious roast with my eyes shut. Coffee in the morning is the best way to start the day, in my opinion it's the only way to start the day right. But I know today can never be right, not when I can hear sirens and unusual activity on the streets outside. It happened already and I hadn't even been awake for it. Right, I was reliving a bad dream. Probably better that way, though I wonder why I hadn't even heard something as loud as bomb go off. Did I get drugged at some point last night?

"Home," I open my eyes, "I want to go home" I say tiredly, this trip has awakened too many things inside of me and I just want to feel the waves wash over my feet again. "By the way, where are Quinn and the genius kid?"

Brittany's eyes become downcast and it feels like something isn't right.

"What? Did something happen to them?"

"No, it's nothing like that. They left. I, I just miss them – Quinn, I've been friends with for a long time and I don't know when I'll see her again and Beth, I've just gotten to know her but I love her already. Doing things with her like playing and drawing and eating cereal gave me a glimpse of what my life could be one day. It felt really good. And yeah, I miss them."

"I know what you mean Britt," I take her hand and hold it tightly – it's definitely going to be a future habit. "I talked to Beth last night when you were talking with Quinn. I really like her; I don't believe I just said that."

"Wait what did you talk about? She wasn't sleeping?" Brittany's face becomes inquisitive.

I let my mind wander to last night and my conversation with Beth, "stuff." I don't give anything off because I can't let Brittany know what exactly we were discussing.

"Anyways, How's Quinn? And why the hell would she leave without letting me know? I told her to wake me up."

"I was going to bust she said for you to sleep. You looked really tired San. But Quinn, she was doing better this morning than she was last night. They left at about six before the – you know." I nod for her to continue and down the rest of the luke-warm coffee.

"Quinn will be fine; she's already started to figure things out. She's smart, although I sort of questioned that this morning when there was fresh apple bits floating in my cereal. But I don't doubt for a second Beth will be happy and well cared for."

"Neither do I." I don't realize I'm smiling when I say it, I've never thought highly of Quinn or her ways of manipulating people but people can change. It gives me hope that I could change for the person I love too. "What's the deal with the bombing…did, did you see it?" The sound of police directing people away from the crime scene floats through an open window.

"I saw the house blow from the window – exactly seven o'clock. Did you want to go look? I wanted to wait for you. But from the coffee shop downstairs it looks like a mess. According to the news no one survived. They still have yet to find the bodies of Pierre and Beth."

"Well we know one will never be recovered and I hope Pierre is alive out there somewhere. Let me get changed and we'll go, you probably should change too." I smirk and check her out from head to toe openly on my way to throw our empty coffee cups into a plastic bag.

Getting out takes longer than planned. Brittany and I decide to clean the place up before going so the next hour is spent picking things up, making beds, checking for things that are out of place. Once the apartment is spotless and just how we found it, I take a shower - apart from Brittany though for obvious reasons, I'm not comfortable enough to be that close to her – I don't know how well my self-control works after ten years.

I get into some casual jeans and a t-shirt. I put my hair up in a bun so I won't be bothered by the heat or sweat and then fish my sun-glasses out of my travel bag and place them on top of my head. I meet Brittany at the door and she gives me a cheeky smile which I do not miss as I check her attire is appropriate since she either doesn't know or doesn't care what is or isn't. Her jean shorts are border-line 'too short' but I'm not going to say anything when they are making her legs very enjoyable to look at.

We walk around the crime scene for an hour. The whole sidewalk around the house has been marked off limits and only a few police cars remain. From the looks of it the investigation is well on the way. There's still that nagging feeling inside me that says we had the chance to save more lives – Pierre and Genevieve didn't have a chance. I begin thinking of my parents again. I missed them a lot before but now they are just a part of my memory that I have but don't know what to do with, it's not like I can just forget them. I wish I had a chance to save them, I know I could have – saving the Louves might have made it up for me, maybe that's why I had the huge urge to save them. But there's nothing I can do now. They're dead and I'm alive to live another day in a harsh world.

Brittany walking besides me looking every bit the part of a young tourist is all sunshine as she hums a song. She reminds me that I still have something to live for, I will do anything to keep the sunshine in her eyes. When she smiles at me it's like she pukes sunshine all over me and my negativity, she really makes me happy. My parents would have wanted me to be happy no matter what, they'd have wanted me to fall in love, bring a boy home, have a good job, have a family, and they'd have wanted me to give grandchildren to them too. Maybe Brittany wasn't a boy but I had and could have all those other things with her and I could still make my parents proud of me.

At one point while coming to a complete round of the property, an officer looks our way and I'm disgusted to see him drooling at Brittany, well, he can't be blamed; those legs would make anyone drool. But I blame him anyways for tripping off while on duty and for leering at my girlfriend. I take Brittany's hand and give him a warding off glare before leaning in close and kissing Brittany on the cheek. She's surprised and honestly I'm surprised as well that I had the courage to do that in broad daylight where people could see – I know at least one person saw, as he quickly looks away and busies himself with his radio, contacting no one. This is probably the exact thing Quinn was talking about last night. But, somehow, I wouldn't want to be anything but this - this person who only breathes to love the girl who's making her a better person.

"We didn't talk about how to leave the country when we got in. I'm sure Quinn had her plan all along I just assumed we'd be going together but now it looks like we'll have to find our own way home. Santana?"

I shake myself out of my thoughts and I notice we've stopped walking. Brittany has taken a seat on a bench. She looks up at me like she's waiting for me to sit down as I stand and wonder how long I've been lost in my thoughts. Brittany's not laughing so that's a good sign I haven't been standing here being an airhead for very long.

Quickly, I sit beside her and think about what she just said. It's true we were focusing so much about getting Beth out, we never planned an escape route – I'd figured that was all in Quinn's plan just like Brittany. I don't worry though; there are plenty of ways to get out in and out of countries illegally. Life on the field taught me well how to survive and break the law without being caught.

"Don't worry Britt, I've got plan." It's about time I give some people a call.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For those who were asking, Quinn and Beth will continue to be a part of the story along with some other new characters. They won't take up too much of the story though and will be plot devices for Brittana. There are still lots of things to come so keep reading! <strong>


	16. Nothing is the same

Chapter 15

"For the last time Britt, just wait and see!" I full out laugh. Brittany is jumping up and down by my side, tugging at my coat. Looks like all my hinting and playing it up got to her.

"You said no secrets San!" She pouts but it's not going to work this time.

"Yeah, but this is a surprise so it doesn't count. I promise it'll be worth it."

It's late afternoon and the sun is slowly setting.

I lead Brittany by the hand now that we're close to our destination.

"What is this place?" Brittany holds my hand tighter as I unlock the front of what looks like a garage. It's much more than that of course.

"This place holds the surprise." I wink at her knowing I'm not doing anything to satisfy her curiosity. Brittany slaps me lightly on the shoulder for being a tease to which I stick out my tongue. I didn't know when we started becoming so immature but it's fun and refreshing. I don't stop smiling and I smile even bigger when I take her outside on the opposite side of the building.

She stops and opens her eyes wide. I know she wasn't expecting something so not exciting but exciting at the same time.

"It's just a plane Brittany."

"Yeah, but are we stealing it? How'd it get here in the first place?"

"Nope, it belongs to my work place."

I can see the axles in Brittany's mind churn, thinking. She raises her eyebrow at me slightly, asking where I could possibly work that they have jets. "That's all you're going to tell me San?"

"Are you surprised?"

Brittany nods eyes still wide as before. "Good."

I turn to greet the older man, still in good shape but with graying hair, standing at the foot of the stairs leading up to the entrance of the plane.

"Good evening Ms. Capella," he's calm and collected as he should be even though I know he's more than happy to see me again. "I had orders to fly in as soon as possible."

"Thanks George, I appreciate it."

He's the head of the transportation department at the company I work for. It's an important department at the company, taking care that its business emissaries go and return safely.

George and I have a special relationship; the day he caught me flying the plane off autopilot, he turned a blind eye whenever I jumped in the pilot's seat. There were so many flights I remember sharing with him, he was a good listener and if anyone knew me best minus my past it was him. Another reason our relationship is special – it stays on the plane, on the ground we don't know each other beyond the others name.

Brittany's still confused about what's going on so I whisper in her ear that I'll explain everything on the plane. We reach the top stair and step in.

"Get comfortable I'll be back in a minute," I squeeze Brittany's hand and she half-nods while looking at the interior of the plane. It's fancy, even I was surprised the first time I used the service.

I leave Brittany to wander the passengers section of the plane while I head to the captain's cabin. George is already preparing the plane for take-off and setting it on course for our return to Italy.

I sit in the seat beside him and watch him click all right buttons and check all the lights until he's sure everything is how it should be. He hasn't raised in rank much at the company but he's good at his job, dependable.

"Hey, long time no see. How was your vacation?" He finishes checking the gas levels and turns towards me with a smile.

That's what I told everyone when I decided to take 2 months leave, not that I had to answer to anyone if I didn't come back. I hadn't told anyone where I was going, not even George. It was a foray into my past and I couldn't let anyone know.

"It was good, thanks for asking."

"Are you ready to begin work at the company again? I know they've missed your face. So have I" George folds his hands and leans back into the captains chair, just like old times. As if he was preparing for a long dialogue from me. He used to do that, sit and listen. He maybe helped me more by doing that than when I just took the company's plane out for a spin to clear my head.

"I think I'll start working again soon, I just have some things to settle and I'll be good to go. I hope the company hasn't suffered too much in my absence."

"Ah they're doing fine, but I expect you'll be flying much more when you return. I hear nobody gets the jobs done like you do." George winks at me. He doesn't know what I do, nobody does. It's top secret. He's getting the plane ready for lift off so I excuse myself to go to Brittany.

"She's only a guest? Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"Later George," I can feel the blush on my face and quickly escape before it shows.

Brittany is sitting on one of the cream leather couches and looking out the window. "Hey," I say as I walk by and grab some cocktails from the fridge. I open them and set one down in front of her. I sit in the opposite seat.

"Hey," she says back taking a sip of the cherry flavored drink. There's not much alcohol in it, just enough to get a nice buzz. I don't intend on flying the plane tonight so I drink one too.

"So?" I look out the window to where her gaze is fixed at the barren concrete field as we lift off.

"So, it's like I don't know you at all." She whispers still not shifting her gaze. "I just know one part of you, the person you used to be. I don't know you now. Who are you?"

I know she has questions, and there are things I haven't told her. I'm not hiding them; there just hasn't been a good time to tell her. But now seems to be the time. She deserves to know what my life has become.

"Can you look at me?" My eyes connect with hers and I take a deep breath. "I'm not keeping anything from you Brittany. And except for a few things, you do know everything about me. I'm the same person."

Brittany doesn't say anything as she waits for me to say more.

"I feel really put on the spot here," I tell her not knowing where to start or how far back I should begin. "What do you want to know?"

"You can't even introduce yourself? You want me to interview you or something?" She comes off a little snarky and a little disappointed.

"It'd help." I rub my hands across my tightly covered thighs in an attempt to calm my nerves.

"Ok, what's your name? Where do you work? What do you do? How long have you been doing it?" She throws the questions at me like bullets, so fast she's hoping one or more of them hit me. I can't dodge single one. It's like she's interrogating me for betraying my country.

"One question at a time Britt, we're going to be here for a while." I laugh to cut the intensity of the situation. It's not bad tense, just tense and uncomfortable. "Can I hold your hand? I think it'll be easier to talk."

"You can sit with me if it helps, or I could sit with you?" I don't know if she's being sarcastic again or if she's actually trying to help me out. Her eyes are concerned though and I think she might be genuine.

"Yeah, that'd be nice." I smile shyly at her. This is our first serious talk; I'm having a hard time controlling the flips going on in my stomach.

Brittany walks over to my side and sits down comfortably on my lap. She smiles at me and I have the courage to speak. Being close to Brittany makes everything better.

"So, I go by the name Anita Capella."

"That's a nice name," Brittany interrupts at the first possible moment. I know she's trying to help me but I just want to get it all out in one go. "Keep going"

"I work for the INIA, Italian National Intelligence Agency – or simply Intelligence. My official position is tax monitor but that, again, is just a cover. What I really do is find out what no one else can with the tools and resources made available to me by the government."

"It's like Millenicon all over again. I can't believe you'd go back to do something like that San. Not that it's bad, just unexpected." Brittany speaks softly, she looks deep in thought. She brushes some strands of hair out of my face and tucks them tidily behind my ear.

"It's not like that, I don't work for them. I work with them. I only took the job because there was something in it for me."

"Money?"

"No, you." My hands are around Brittany's waist so I pull her in tighter to me. She doesn't resist, instead she leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder.

"I had everything I needed to find you. The jobs they gave me weren't bad; it was safer than being on the field. I'm top security personnel. I had access to more information than I cared to know about but the most important thing was, working there gave me a chance to find you. You have no idea how much easier it is when you have the tools."

"Thank you for finding me San." She kisses me, its only on the cheek but it gives me the best feeling in the world. She was waiting for me to save her and I'm glad I did just in time.

"Are you going back to work there?" Brittany breaks the silence again.

"Do you not want me to?" It's not a serious question; I wasn't going to make a decision just based on her answer but it'd be nice to hear what she thought of my working at INIA. This is what a relationship must be like, always having two opinions to consider. I realize her opinion matters just as much as mine does now.

"If you want to, I was just asking." Brittany shrugs and buries her nose in my neck while playing with my hair. Her breath on my neck is exciting my nerves a little bit with a ticklish tingle.

"Well someone has to be the bread-winner since…" Since what? Can I assume Brittany is going to stay with me for good now? Is this where my fantasy becomes reality? I've had dreams where Brittany is home to greet me from work every day with the biggest smile. We never talked about it. We sorted out the past, we lived in the present - but the future, I still had no answers.

"San? You stopped talking. Did you finish the sentence because I didn't hear the period? Brittany perks up when I go quite and looks at me with a concerned face.

"No, I…just thought of something is all."

"What were you thinking about?"

I take a deep breath, "the future, maybe – us? What's going to happen now Brittany?"

"Whatever happens will happen but what you're really asking is if I'm going to move in with you right?" She lets out a startling loud laugh. I laugh too, just because her laugh is infectious like that.

"I was just.."

"Have a little faith in me Santana. You're not the only one in love remember? I love you too."

"And I love you."

Brittany's lips are right there and I can't resist taking them.

"Besides," Brittany pulls away just as I'm about to make contact, "where would I go if it isn't with you? Remember, it's your fault I don't have a job or a house or any food to eat right now so you'll have to be my bread-winner until I can win some of my own." She smiles cheekily and all I can see is the rosy red of her face; and happiness, she's happy.

In this moment I know I'm happy too, I've waited so long to feel this. It's not the overly hyped up bursting sort of happiness. It's the perfect moment type of satisfaction with peace and certainty, I've never felt better. "That's not going to happen so long as I'm around to spoil you, baby. I have a freakin' gold mine under my house. Seriously, I have enough money for us that you won't have to dirty one little finger nail the rest of your life and then some. But enough talking, I wants to get my mack on." I close the gap and instantly feel that electricity I've only felt from kissing Brittany.

"Never change Santana; your ghetto voice is super hot." Brittany pants out in between a breathtaking kiss and then dives in for more. She feels so good. I need to learn to appreciate her amazing lips every time she moves them against mine.

Before I can think of a reason to stop her, Brittany throws her leg over me. Straddling means serious business. I know we'll probably be landing soon and another person is on the plane, but there isn't a chance to tell Brittany my concerns. She gives me no breaks and I'm not complaining.

Somewhere between my hand under Brittany's bra and her hand in my underwear I hear the door open and I practically shove Brittany off of me. Her legs were already squeezing mine on the sides tightly so she didn't fall off.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have used the mic. I was just going to tell you we'll be landing now. Again, I'm very sorry." George is beet red and sweat drips down the side of his face. It could be out of fear for walking in on us or that he's seen something that will scar him for life.

"Hey, George!" I shout before he can escape to his safe haven. Brittany gets off me and I run to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. Don't worry; the last thing I'm going to do is get you fired for not following standard procedure. Then I'd have to recount the compromising situation you just witnessed and everyone will know about…yeah. That will never happen. So we're ok?"

George nods but shifts his attention somewhere behind me. I turn around to see Brittany there.

"I guess it's time for proper introductions then." I look between the two of them. "George, this is Br.. – my girlfriend." He breaks into a wide smile now that he's been let in on the secret and nods approvingly. He puts his hand out for Brittany to shake.

"I'm George." He says before I can, "head of the Transportation department at INIA. It's nice to finally put a face to the mysterious person I've had to hear Ms. Capella here talk about for years."

"Really Sa…, Ms. Capella? I do say, someone is smitten." Brittany winks at me then shakes Georges hand enthusiastically. "Nice to meet you George, by the way I already washed my hands in case you think it might still have some…"

"That's …great baby," I say before she totally grosses poor George out. He clearly understood what the last words of the sentence were supposed to be though because his face turns red, and I'm thoroughly embarrassed once again.

"Well this has been fun," he clears his throat to make sure he sounds normal. "But let me do my duties now else I may get in real trouble. We'll be landing in a minute so if you will please be seated ladies."

I go to sit down and Brittany follows almost to sit down on my lap like before but instead she just stoops low and whispers in my ear, "we'll finish this at home," then she goes to grab two Pepsis' from the fridge for the landing. She has this strange theory that it can help with blocked ears since the fizz makes people burp.

"Tease, you are so in for it tonight." I hold her gaze as we touch down because I am one-hundred percent serious.

George calls a cab for us. It arrives in front of INIA's warehouse which is a concealed mini airport like the one in France. It's just outside the city limits so the ride isn't long.

We arrive at my house. The wind is extra cold tonight and is whipping violently against the silhouetted structure. The interior of the house adds little more comfort – it's just as cold and empty, but Brittany brings a little warmth like a small candle. I keep her near so the frostbite of my former life doesn't spring out and eat me alive.

We get to the top of the stairs and there's a short pause of footsteps as the house falls impossibly silent. It's very much like a night not too long ago, this feeling. But this time there is no uncertainty on my part or hesitation on Brittany's.

I take a left and she follows.

There is so much going on in the pit of my stomach. I can't breathe properly and it isn't just the lowering temperature.

Brittany hasn't said a word to me since getting off the plane and I didn't talk to her either. Somehow there wasn't a need to say anything even though there was so much still to be said. Maybe some things have to be communicated with more than words. Sometimes they require our very essence.

I desperately want to know if Brittany feels as choked as I do, if she can feel the static that jumps between us every time we are in foots radius from each other or when we share a glance.

"I'm going to shower in the bathroom down the hall, I'll be back." Brittany makes no move to take her bag so I trust her word. I know her favorite PJ's are in there. They are actually mine but since she's borrowed them she hasn't slept in anything else. I let her go – watch her slip out of my room and then I'm engulfed in darkness. I feel uneasy without her presence, I shouldn't be – I've lived by myself for so long. But the house, the rooms – everything about this place feels wrong. There's nothing of Brittany's here to remind me I'm not alone in this house. It's been like this for much too long.

I strip all my clothes off and take my time to put them in the laundry basket. It's never been a habit of mine – I like things messy like my life but I guess since that's being straightened out I'm going to straighten myself up too. This isn't only my home now. It feels good to know that.

My hair tumbles over my shoulders in messy waves as I remove the elastic band. I set the warm water to fill the tub and try to remember the last time I had a hot bath – I can't, it's been too long. Slowly I lower myself inside and watch the clear bubbles cover me up to my stomach. I lay my head back and close my eyes for a minute; this is what absolute peace feels like. I start to wash slowly – my life doesn't need to rush by in chasing shadows anymore.

I finish up then rinse one more time before towel drying. In the mirror I see a very different girl than the one I'd been looking at for years. This girl is smiling, she has something to smile about – her dimples show and she remembers the time another girl used to kiss them because they were like craters on the moon, but sometimes she kissed them just because.

I wrap the towel around me loosely and go to the cupboard where I mindlessly pick out something to wear. I don't notice that my bed is occupied.

My towel hits the floor as the chilly air hits my skin. I quickly grab a comfortable T-shirt and turn it since it's inside out.

"Don't put it on." Brittany's voice lingers in the still air. When nothing else comes I think it's probably my imagination. I continue to pull at the sleeves.

"Save me the trouble and don't put it on."

This time I know it's real; the warmth on my ear is proof enough that the object of my desire is standing right behind me. I get confirmation when I feel a soft kiss to the back of my neck. The kisses continue and my body heat starts effectively fighting the cold. Her hands wander down my back. The strokes send shivers down my spine. She must have felt me move.

"You're cold, you've got goose bumps." Brittany places a last kiss on my cheek and slides her hand in mine, leading me to my bed.

I've got goose bumps but it's not from the cold. My mind is already running off into a fantasy that might just become real tonight and it's making me sensitive everywhere. I'm a ticking bomb.

I slide under the thick blanket that's just plain black. It's another thing that doesn't seem right, it used to belong but now it doesn't. I start thinking that everything is wrong when it doesn't remind me of Brittany.

I don't meddle on those thoughts for long though. It's impossible when Brittany's body covers mine and it almost feels too hot with both her and the blanket. But then that thought flies out the window too when Brittany's face comes into my peripheral vision.

And then she's leaning in.

In the dark her eyes shine so much brighter. I can't focus on anything but her eyes but I know something is happening she's going to kiss me and I'm going to explode. This feels so intimate, I've only dreamt of this – I'm not sure I'm ready to realize it's not a dream and that it's happening.

I surprise myself when I'm the one who makes the finally move. Once I start I don't ever want to stop. It takes a moment for Brittany to respond, maybe she wasn't expecting me to start first, but when she does there isn't a word to describe what she makes me feel.

It gets heated all too fast. Neither of us was kidding on the plane. There's so much hunger for each other's bodies it's like every second without a touch or caress is a waste of precious time.

We roll all over the bed. I find myself on top of her, holding myself up while I let her do to me whatever she wants. She's biting my neck and it stings but I don't want her to stop. I break out of my sex driven trance long enough to hear the panting and moaning. It turns me on in a way that can't be tamed.

I push Brittany down roughly and tear her flimsy, Garfield spotted pants off in one swift move. Her shirt that's bunched up over her breast s comes off just as fast. She doesn't try to stop me and I actually don't know if I could be stopped if she tried. I secure my leg in between hers and squeeze her thigh tightly, loving the feel of bare skin against my aching nerves.

I bring my mouth down to hers for a moment then move to her neck as I begin to furiously ride her. From somewhere I find the strength – I want so much more. I let the guttural moans rip from inside me and I'm not the only one. Brittany keeps repeating 'oh my god' like a mantra and it only spurs me on.

I'm nearly there, I'm ready to burst. I drop my body onto Brittany's and grunt in her ear. I want her to know how wild and insane she's driving me.

"Stop San."

Brittany says something but I don't hear.

"Stop." She says it louder and I understand what's happening. I remember Brittany's words 'I can't have sex', I remember their consequences.

"stop."

Her voice is shaking; she's gripping the sheets so tight she could rip them to shreds. I stop immediately and search her eyes for any pain or shock. She closes them desperately and suddenly it hits me like a ton of bricks. What if I had gone too far? No, God. What did I do?


	17. New day starting

**I wanted to get this to you guys so I didn't proof read it or anything. Mistakes are on me. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

I throw the covers out of the way and press my palm to Brittany's forehead. She's flustered but not feverish – her heat and sweat mix together in a frightening combination. Her heartbeat begins to settle and she finally opens her eyes.

"I'm ok," Brittany whispers, a sweet smile graces her face. It's sort of like what I would imagine her to look like after an orgasm- one that she didn't have. I'm so relieved.

"Wait here, I'm going to grab my kit and give you a check - just in case anything happened." I jump off the bed and dash down the hall, not caring that I'm naked and freezing.

When I get back, kit in hand, I find Brittany clothed again. In her hand she holds the pajama's I'd intended to wear.

"San, you can't run around naked, you'll get cold and the spirits of your parents might see you. I'd be embarrassed." She hands the clothes to me. I take them but discard them at the end of the bed.

Brittany huffs at that and gives me a disapproving look.

"Britt, lay down. I need to be sure you're ok." I try to push her down on the bed but she doesn't budge.

"But I am, I'm fine." She almost shouts.

I decide for a moment if I want to press her further. If anyone knows her body she does. I should trust her word, if she says she's fine then guess she is. It's not like she's having seizures or acting out of the ordinary.

I stand in my spot and look at the floor. I should say something; I should apologize. "I'm…Brittany I'm sorry. I pushed you too far. I wasn't thinking." I want to cry so bad. The longer the minutes tic by the more I think about what could have happened to Brittany.

"Let's get back into bed since you don't want to wear clothes." Brittany crawls on and pulls me down after her. I let myself fall, my full weight lands on her. In a second Brittany flips us over and then sits up to wiggle her pants off. Her shirt follows and now she's completely naked.

Brittany lies down on top of me again, pulling the covers with her. For a moment I think about how Brittany makes an awesome blanket, she gives me just the right warmth not only to my body but to my heart as well.

"Don't say sorry anymore ok?" Brittany says into my chest that she's using to pillow her head. "I wanted you so bad." She continues to fill in the silence, "you walked out of the bathroom and my heart stopped. I thought I was inside a dream where I met a beautiful goddess. Everything about her was perfect; her body was what every woman would die for. Then I blinked and it was you."

Brittany's voice is soothing; she tells it like a story book and I begin drifting into her world. "And you were a goddess and I was a lucky one; I could touch you the way no one else could. I smelt your hair – it was a fragrance I've never experienced before. I tasted your skin, I had to - it sent me to another level of heaven. And when you touched me Santana, I wanted to be your slave. I would do anything for you to touch me like that again – and you did. But somewhere at the end of my dream it began to hurt, I was falling. Your touch became too powerful, I could die from it. And then," I didn't even realize until Brittany had paused that she'd been talking into my mouth. I looked at her wondering what happened next but Brittany stays silent.

"And then what Brittany?" My voice cracks.

"And then I realized how dangerous our love could be. I was cursed and … I had to do something."

I nod. Her words pierce my heart. Brittany wants to get better, and I need to help her. I'm almost lost in the pictures that she's painted with her liquid voice. I nod off for a brief second.

It's not even ten minutes later that I wake up again. I thought I was dreaming but now with my eyes wide open I can still feel it. Brittany is no longer lying on top of me. All I can see are her hands gently gripping my protruding hips bones and then I feel it again. My body jolts.

"Brittany," air catches in my throat and I all but moan. I thought I was only having wet dreams. "You don't have to," I moan again. She doesn't stop. I can feel and hear everything she's doing to me. It practically pushes me off the edge. A few more strong flicks of her tongue and I'm hanging by a thread.

My eyes are screwed shut so tight; I'm lost in a world of pictures again. I'm about to drop but Brittany is nowhere to be seen. I won't let go until Brittany is air bound alongside me, holding my hand. But it's too hard, I can't hold on any longer and my strength fails, I'm over powered and I fall faster than I ever have in my life. I scream so loud I scare the birds away. My body feels completely satisfied but as I cut through the air until I finally land.

My vision stops and I open my eyes slightly. I'm back in my room again – the bed having broken my fall. I didn't realize I was crying. I don't hurt, I only ache in a good way – still, I cry and a loud sob escapes before I can control myself.

"Britt," I sniffle then try again. "Britt." But nothing else comes out.

"Hey baby," Brittany wipes the sweat off my forehead and places small kisses on my cheek where my tears have left a stained trail. "What's the matter." Her voice is so small and so full of worry it's like she's wondering if she did something wrong.

I've given up trying to speak so I put my hand on her cheek to steady her face and lean up to kiss her. She brings me down. Her kisses are like little words that tell me I'm going to be ok.

"I'm sorry" I finally say.

"I told you not to say that anymore," Brittany says almost immediately and puts a single finger over my lips. I kiss it lovingly.

"I know. It's just I didn't mean to cry after you did _that_ to me."

"Then why were you crying honey?"

I don't know how to explain it, I could blame my hormones or that fact that she made me come really fuckin' hard it broke me.

"You didn't come with me and you won't be able to until you get better. I wanted to wait." I turn the other way not wanting to see her reaction; it's silly maybe I felt my words were silly too.

No response comes and so I venture to look at Brittany again. She's got a goofy smile on her face.

"What?" I try not to break my serious face but it's hard when she's grinning like that.

"You're being a silly billy. Do you mean that you don't…that you haven't …_you know_?"

"Of course, but its different now."

"San, just because I can't have something doesn't mean you shouldn't have it either."

I look everywhere else but at her. My fingers fidget with the corner of the blanket until Brittany puts her hands on mine to stop them.

"It just feels wrong," It's hard putting a sentence together, "It _is_ wrong that you can't…that I can't, I just want to have the ability to make you feel the way I do."

She holds my hand so gently like it could break if not handled with care and she kisses it, letting the warmth of her breath linger on the back of my hand. "You already make me feel so much Santana. Your smile is enough for me, every time I see it I fall – _you_ make me fall more and more in love with you."

The sap is killing me in such a good heart wrenching way; I can't find words to respond. So I pull her in right up to my chest and hold her. Everything that is her floods my senses.

"I'm going to do everything I can to help you get better Brittany, I promise." I say and try to stifle a small yawn at the end that gets out anyways. This night has had every mix of emotions and now sleep is overpowering all of them.

"Less sleep baby, unless you want me too…" She lets the sentence hang in the air along with a playful laugh. There's no way she was doing _that_ to me again tonight. She walks her fingers down my stomach and I get tingles even though I don't want to.

"You're trying to knock me out aren't you?" I swat her hand away when it reaches below my belly button. "You've already drained me."

"Ok," Brittany snuggles in closer finding my hand.

It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep. Brittany's breathing to the rhythm of my heart is the best sound to fall asleep to.

It's a start of a new day. There's freshness to the air I haven't experienced before. I feel better than I have in a long time. I wonder why my 4:00 am alarm didn't ring. No matter, I'm glad it didn't. The relaxed feeling in my body reminds me of last night and that I do have a mission today.

I carefully get out of bed and put on whatever clothes I can find. I end up wearing Brittany's pants and my shirt.

I step out on the balcony for a brief morning breather, taking a few quick tip toe hops to reach the railing. It really feels like the start of something new, like I've finally caught up with reality after being sucked back into the past. Most of all I feel lucky, having everything come to pass in the last few weeks rose up new hope in me. I could dream again, and what I'm seeing in ten years from now is real life. Something wonderful that starts today.

I creep back into the room and close the sliding doors making sure I hear only the faintest click. Heading to the mirror, I take a quick look and try to smoothen down the ruffled strands. They were always unruly but especially in the morning. In the reflection my eyes fall on Brittany's still form outstretched on my bed. Last night she slept like a baby, I'm sure of it. No nightmares. I smile widely at the way her hair falls all over my pillows in a mess that could be mistaken for a haystack. Her long arms and legs peek out of the blanket here and there.

Making my way back to the bed I kneel beside it and kiss the skin of her forehead where the rising sun has already kissed it. The corners of her mouth curl up slightly like I'd induced a good dream into her mind. She doesn't stir.

In the kitchen I pull out the ingredients to make breakfast. By the time I'm done Brittany should be up, I know she can't stay in bed long before figuring out I'm gone. She has a way of knowing and I don't mind in the least.

"_Hey where did you go? I waited for you in front of your geometry room for a super long time and you didn't come out. I thought you were hiding in there and wanted me to find you like you know play hide and seek except I never did find you." My roommate is out of breath from saying so much in one go and probably from scourging the facility for me. _

"_Didn't feel like studying today." I shrug and get back to playing with the wires for something I've been working on. _

"_But you can't do that; they can give you punishment for it. And although you know I don't mind doing them with you every time you get caught for disobeying the rules, it's not super fun." She tries to sit down next to me but that's when I get up. I skipped class for a reason, and I was here by myself for a reason – I don't even know how she found me. _

"_Look, I never asked you to do that ok? You're trying to be nice and that's all good but there's only so much nice I can take. I want to be alone now so can you please not follow me?" I shuffle off as quickly as I can, project in hand. _

_It's not that I don't like her, I really do but the past week has been unbearable. Wherever I happen to be she's there too. It's not like we don't spend enough time around each other already. We're roommates! We've known each other for two weeks. That doesn't make us friends. Maybe I was being misleading. I did give her the bed she wanted, I let her choose the seats in all the classes we had together and made sure everyone knew they were taken. I might have even told her a lame ass bedtime story one night when she started thinking that one of the squeegee men had gotten into the closet and was making strange noises. But that didn't make us friends, I was doing the necessary. And true I never gave anyone the time of day, everyone knew how badass I was and no one dared mess with me – but just because I gave Brittany some small allowances didn't mean we were that close. Which brings me back to my original thoughts, how am I going to get some alone time if she's always a step behind me? Santana Lopez doesn't do the leader – follower thing. She's a lone ranger all the way. _

_I managed to stay undisturbed for an hour when she's back again. Seriously, how does she always find me? _

"_Hey you, ummm it's lunch time and …."_

"_Not hungry, skip off and eat if you don't want people to think you're a ragdoll and use you to wipe the gym floor." I say not looking up from the set of two wires I'm trying to connect._

"_But we always…." _

"_There is no 'We' and there is no 'always' ok? There is you and there is me and I do what I want. If it doesn't involve you well deal with it, don't be a baby." I know instantly that I'm being too harsh but she's really disturbing me right now, I need to get this done. Some boy with a Mohawk decided to hit on me yesterday and wouldn't take no for an answer plus he questioned my abilities while exalting his. He sure will know whose boss now once he goes to bed on a circuit of electric shocks. I like guys - that isn't the problem. The problem is when they think showing off to me is going to make it easy to get in my pants. Wrong. Never say a Lopez can't beat you in javelin throwing or anything else. _

_I hardly notice that my roommate has left. _

_An hour passes and I'm just about done. I look at my watch, its past lunch time so there sure isn't going to be any left. No problem, I'll steal from the kitchen. I put all my tools back in my pocket and dust my hands off ready to get something to eat. _

"_Hey, are you still busy? I brought you lunch thought you might be hungry. They had served hamburgers today."_

"_Well that sucks; the day I skip they have to break out the burgers." I scowl and get on a move to the kitchen._

"_I didn't know what flavor you liked so I brought all of them. There were like four different types and you never told me your favorite." _

"_Well you just made my day roomie, hand them over." _

_She hands me the tray and we sit down on the floor of the storage room. Sure enough there were four burgers in different colored wrapping. I dig in immediately, savoring the taste I miss so much. I used to eat burgers all the time when I was 'out there'. _

_The whole time the other girl watches me eat the burgers one after another with interest. I don't feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. _

"_Please tell me you had at least three of these." I say to her with my mouth stuffed. They're not as good as the ones I usually have but they're passable. "You look like an underweight Barbie and that's saying something since everyone knows Barbie would be way too skinny to stand if she were a real person."_

_She shrugs and keeps watching me down the third burger, a chicken one. _

_I finish all four and lay on back satisfied. "Well thanks…" I say, remembering I didn't thank her for bringing me lunch yet. _

"_I wanted to, you're my roommate that means we're buddies and buddies look out for each other." _

_There's a problem with that logic, see I don't do buddies. I should tell her that, but when I think about it perhaps it would be nice to have a buddy for once. All my life I've had the types of friends that didn't care about being there for me when the going got tough, which happened often. No one ever stuck long enough to be a friend or a buddy or whatever and I never needed them. But if this girl wanted to give it a try then I'd give her a chance. _

"_Fine, but just know I tend to slack off on the 'looking out' part usually I'm the one not looking out and getting in trouble, but you already know that." I try to sound indifferent but really I hope she takes a chance on me._

"_I ran laps with you yesterday, I think I know." She smiles, she's not even bothered by the words she just said, just lets her smile grow bigger when I finally nod. _

_It happens again all week. I'm not trying to avoid her but I wasn't exactly inviting her to be my shadow either. I thought it'd take down some of my cool points but apparently my roommie has some credit. We started becoming an inseparable duo of doom and not many dared to mess with us and I start to except that maybe having a 'we' can be good. _

_My roommate has had my back plenty of times this week and she always seems to find me when I don't want to be found. There are countless times I shake my head at an off comment how she's so stupid or dumb, but she has abilities no one else does. She gets me and doesn't care how many punishments she has to do because of me. And she always finds me, especially in the moments I try to hide from everyone. That's her best ability. _

My perfect French toast is complete within the hour. It smells heavenly; I praise myself then get to work cleaning the kitchen surfaces. Brittany still hasn't emerged so I think it'd be nice if she woke up to breakfast in bed. It'd be a nice romantic gesture right? Even though I don't really intend it to be.

I kick the door open with my foot since my hands are occupied. Brittany is just getting up, she's still totally naked.

"uhmm…" I clear my throat when she doesn't intend to start dressing at all. I'm not complaining but she's a little distracting and I don't want to accidently let the tray slip out of my hand.

"What?" Brittany looks at me questioningly. I wonder if she's playing or if she is actually oblivious to what's going on.

"You're naked." I say bluntly earning a blush from Brittany when she looks down at herself and sees that she really is.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"Are you not going to get dressed?"

"Are we having our first couple fight over my nakedness?"

I laugh at our ridiculous banter and so does Brittany.

"Ok, covering myself now."

I shake my head and put the tray on the bedside table. I straighten the sheets on the bed so we can sit without having any lumps under our bottoms.

"better?" Brittany asks when she puts on her shirt and my pants. I look at her outfit and I look at mine. We must look like some weird couple who can't decide to wear our own clothes or each others.

I walk towards her and give her a small squeeze. "It's usually better when you're naked but it's better when you're dressed for breakfast or I might think of eating something else besides French toast."

"You made French toast?" her eyebrows shoot up excitedly and she escapes my arms, totally ignoring the dirty comment I just made. "You even have syrup, always been a sweet tooth haven't you?"

I shrug, she knows me too well. We sit on the bed and eat our food. At first we eat from our separate plates but then Brittany decides I should taste some of hers even though I'm pretty sure it tastes exactly the same as mine. It doesn't though, it tastes a whole lot sweeter – she didn't even have to dose it with syrup. I gave it a try to; this is what you do in a relationship right? Feed each other when there's no reason to except for making the other blush and then feeling a sense of accomplishment.

I realize I still have a lot to learn about being a girlfriend but so far I learned that being in love is the best thing in the world and it defies all logic and reasoning. The funny part is that those are the things I used to care about so much and now I'm sitting here letting my girlfriend feed me French toast.

"So what are you doing today?" Brittany asks when our plates are empty. I collect everything and stack it up neatly ready to take them to clean.

"Going to see my old boss I guess. It probably won't take long, what do you want to do?"

"Could I go with you? Not to see your boss of course but I could walk around close to your building and look at the city."

It sounds like a great plan. I know I'll probably be an hour or so with my boss and the rest of the day I could take Brittany sightseeing. "Sure Britt. I'm going to go wash these – you can get ready. Feel free to go through my clothes mall. By the way I think we should get you more clothes your size, maybe later today, can't have you walking around in clothes too short for you and showing off inappropriate amount of skin."

We both laugh and she hits me playfully on my way out.

* * *

><p><strong> Is the story moving too slow? thoughts?<strong>

**thanks for reading by the way! There are a lot of great fictions out there that I'm really enjoying so bear with my slow but steady updates. I get distracted LOL**


	18. You again

**This chapter is a bit short but I personally like it, it was fun to write. **

**Anyways, more reviews would be nice not that I'll stop updating if people don't. I just hope you can take a few minutes to tell me your thoughts. **

**Big thanks to everyone who are faithful to R and R!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 17<p>

"You want me to drop you off here?" we pull up in front of the large pentagon shaped building. I usually have my own designated parking space inside the building.

Brittany shrugs and scoots out of the car. She flips her sunglasses over her eyes and looks up and about to make sure they work. "I'll be around I guess." She leans over the hood of my car with her hip popped to the side and smiles at me teasingly, "if I get lost I'll just ask if anyone knows the whereabouts of the hot Hispanic girl regularly seen gracing these streets. You know, having no roof on your car is a bad idea; think about all the accidents you cause by letting your hotness run wild on the roads."

I roll my eyes.

I motion for her to step away. I can't move the car when Brittany's still standing in front of it waxing her hand all over the hood, giving me visuals of a hot island girl trying to get my attention. God knows she's the one to blame for causing accidents, not me. "Britt, you don't have to show that much affection to my car. And if you get lost the first thing you do is call me, that's why we took an hour this morning getting you a candy phone. Now please move honey, if I don't get up there soon the boss will have gone home already."

"It's only a little after lunch San, stop worrying." She pats the black covering one more time then spins and walks down the sidewalk.

"I always worry baby, especially about you." I send a wink her way as I drive by.

A moment later I park in a visiting spot under the building. I miss that special reserved parking spot I had before, hopefully I'll get it back – space 777, absolutely perfect and unforgettable.

The inside of the building isn't much different than it was before, I was only gone for two months and most of these official places remain the same. The visible things don't change, but the inner workings are very different, places like this hold way too many secrets and things go on behind peoples back all the time. The familiarity is welcoming even if the receptionists are not. Suits of all kinds and colors hurry in and out, up and down elevators that never get a break till closing time.

I compare my outfit to many of the others walking swift and purposefully past me. Unlike me, they have little going for them – I'm not only talking about their clothes. I brace myself to walk up to the long, ten seat reception desk, adjusting my tight pencil skirt.

I almost think it's a mistake I chose an open collar white button down that shows off my cleavage and a skirt that highlights my ass. Half the men behind the desk stop talking mid-sentence, they stare at me like they've never seen a good looking woman before. I whip my hair to one side and firmly slap my hand down on the counter. It's funny watching them all break from the spell and apologize profusely to the person on the other end of the line, asking them to repeat whatever they just said.

"I'm here to see Mr. Shuester," I lean on the counter in front of a receptionist who must be new. I know just on the fact that his hand immediately hovers over all the numbers, trying to remember which is connected to the phone in Shuester's office.

"I don't have all day, tell him I'll be in his office in ten minutes." I stand straight with perfect posture, my chest pressing out alluringly. It's not for any of these losers but for Shuester. I shouldn't be indulging in his work-ho fantasies but today I need to make an impression to get my job back, and this is exactly what is necessary.

"Ms." The same receptionist stands up and awkwardly calls out. I've only taken a step so I turn back around; giving him my best bitch stare which effectively shuts him up. It's not what I need right now though. He seems terrified, I don't know why. It's not like I spoke harshly to him or raised my voice.

"I'll contact him now but I need to know your name." He manages to sputter as he wipes the sweat off his brow using the back of his cuff. That'll be a bitch to wash out if it doesn't stain.

"Anita Capella."

"Right, uh wait one moment please." He holds the phone in between his ear and shoulder while his hands become busy sorting out the dozens of loose leaf's messing up his desk. He keeps looking up at me apologetically but snaps his eyes away a second later.

"You can tell me I'm intimidating," I tease, "it's practically written all over your face anyways. I know I'm too hot for you to handle so you saying so would only be reinforcing the truth." I watch the way his eyes pop out of his sockets and how he gulps visibly. He puts down the phone a moment later.

"Sorry, he's not in yet." His voice squeaks hilariously like he's just inhaled helium. I roll my eyes knowing it's typical for Shuester to take unnecessarily long lunch breaks. That's why I wanted to get here before he left, but Brittany needed a phone and then lunch and long story short - who knows how long I'll have to wait for him to get back.

"You are by the way," The receptionist says out of the blue.

"What?"

"Very good looking and uh…demanding. I'm getting used to women like you. Talking. You talking to me." He clears his throat probably realizing now that he sounds like a chipmunk.

My mind runs through all the other 'women' he could be talking about. Apart from me there are only two other women who could be demanding and good looking – well at least demanding. Ms. Pillsbury, head of the accounting department couldn't frighten a mouse if she tried. And then there is Ms. or Mrs. Sylvester, depending on your views of unconventional marriage to oneself, who doesn't even bother talking to the 'scum' receptionists. She's a tough bitch and runs her security team like she's running the World Police. Who then is he talking about? It's rare an important woman even steps into this building.

I'm about to ask when in the corner of my eye I see Mr. Shuester walk through the revolving doors. He looks just the same. His curly, gel soaked hair packs at the top of his head. His creepy smile targets several men and women that catch his attention. I know in a moment his eyes will be on me and more specifically my chest. It grosses me out, but a girls got to do what a girls got to do.

"Mr. Shuester, how are you doing today?" Flirting with my ex-boss is acceptable because everyone knows he's the biggest flirt of them all. I give him a smile, not too insinuating but a one I know he'll like.

"If it isn't Ms. Capella herself, back from vacation already? I've missed your pretty face." He puts his hands on the small of my back, it's disgusting but it'll only last for a short while. After I get my job back I'll hardly be in his presence. "Let's go to my office shall we?"

I nod and he leads me to the elevators.

Someone obviously forgot to change the lights or Shuester is going for a dark and provocative den of work space. I hate to think of all the secretaries who might have had 'experiences' in here. He motions to the soft leather couches and asks me if I want something to drink.

"No thanks, and uh…I think I'll just sit in this chair if that's ok." He doesn't seem to mind as he sits in his own. His large glass work desk now separates me from him, it feels safer. At least as safe as this environment can provide, I wouldn't dare sit on the couch – who knows what it's been used for.

"So, Anita, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He folds his hand on the desk like he means business but I see his eyes rake up and down my body. Now I really feel like I should have buttoned up one more.

"Well, as you know I just got back and I was wondering if my services would still be welcome here."

"Ah, which services do we speak of?" He chuckles at his own joke then shakes his head, "I'm kidding."

My question remains unanswered.

"How was your vacation?" He brings his attention back to me. God knows what he's thinking about when he stares into space like that. If my guess is correct, I'll need a lot of leering at Brittany to get the gross thought out of my mind.

"It was…eventful, but most importantly I'm refreshed and ready for work." I put on my best smile. Sold. I know I'm getting my job back.

Shuester fidgets with his thumbs for a bit. Is he drunk? What's the dopey face for and what do I do to get him to look away from my boobs? He snaps out of whatever pervy day dream he's having.

"Well then, welcome back I'm glad you had a good vacation. You'll have your office back and your work will be stacked up nice and neat on your desk tomorrow." He seems distracted now, looking at the large digital clock on the wall. He gets up abruptly. "Shall I see you out?"

"Wait," He's a man of little words, I know, but we didn't even discuss details, important things. "Can I have Michael as my assistant? He's a great worker."

"You'll have to ask the personnel manager for that. I only hold the General Manager position now." He smiles which is weird because I haven't said anything. "She's down the aisle; you'll know what room she's in."

"She?" This could possibly be the woman who has those receptionists weak at the knees. "What about my parking pass? I'll need it for tomorrow."

"I'll see about getting you one. I'm sorry I can't today as I have a meeting but I'll try to have it for you by tomorrow." He seems in a hurry so I get up and walk out with him.

"Thank you Mr. Shuester, don't forget my parking number is 777."

"Oh?" He raises his eyebrows when we stop in front of the elevators, "that one is taken."

"But" this is ridiculous, there are a thousand parking spaces here and someone has to take mine.

"If you want it back, you'll have to talk it out with her."

"Who?" Why is he being so cryptic? He gets onto the elevator and nods to me. "Her" and then I know exactly who he's talking about, I think I dislike her already.

I get a call from Brittany halfway down the hall to this woman's office. I have some things to settle.

"Hey Ba…uh yeah, how are you doing?" I cover my mistake quickly. It pops into my head that Brittany needs a new identity, she can't just be 'that friend', or 'my girlfriend' forever – sooner or later she'll have to have name.

"It's been an hour, are you almost done?" I hear through the receiver.

"Yeah, my meeting is over but I have some last minute details to work out, can you wait a little longer? I promise to take you for ice-cream after. Where are you anyways?"

I stop in front of a shiny plaque that reads 'Ms. Barbra Streep'. Weird.

"so…should I come in or?"

"uh..you're here?"

"I'm in front of the building. Are you not listening to me San?"

"Of course I am, sorry. Uh, yeah they have nice sofas in the reception area. Just wait for me ok? Don't go anywhere." I'm getting stares from a few cubicle workers. I'd probably find it funny too if someone stood and looked at a shiny gold plaque for five minutes.

"What if I need to use the bathroom?" that's so Brittany to say.

"Then by all means go, look I'll be down in a little bit ok?" I see someone walking down the aisle, heading straight to where I'm standing. Time seems to freeze. It can't be…its. I turn just in time to avoid making eye-contact with her. I lean on the wall facing the other way. Brittany finishes saying some joke about bathrooms in fancy buildings that I didn't get and then she says 'I love you.'

"You too" is all I allow myself to say in this situation. I haven't even thought about it. Who exactly are you supposed to tell about your girlfriend? Is it only when the need arises, or only to your close friends? What about when talking on the phone, do I go out of my way to cover the fact that I'm seeing someone? So many questions, these are the kinds of things Brittany knows. There's a question that is about to get answered though, and if I had doubts before I don't have any now, I dislike this woman for sure.

I put my phone back in my purse and turn my attention to the sounds coming from inside the room. The door was left open so I can clearly hear the conversation going on.

"I want lots of picture frames in here. I know this is my office and not my home but if I'm going to be in here for long hours I need some inspirational pictures to spur me on and keep me motivated. On this wall here, there will be a giant photo of myself wearing my best over the shoulder smile. Confidence is everything; I want people who walk in here to just absorb it. Then right next to me will be a picture of the person who inspires me to breathe everyday – no it's not God. Goddess would be the better word…whenever I hear Barbra Streisand sing with her powerful voice it just fills me with so much awe. Believe me there is nothing better than starting your day with Barbra."

That's as much as I can take. I can't even remember the woman's real name and I most certainly am not calling her Barbra. What was it that I used to call her? It all comes back to me now. We had an argument once; I still think Alanis is better. I fish for a name but can't remember. We were girls back then, but she hasn't changed much – she's still obnoxious and loud and….damn it, I'm calling Brittany.

The man who was probably hired to decorate the woman's room says something about the frames being finished next week, and then I hear her thank him and say she'll show him out, that she'll grab her purse and follow him out. My phone connects to Brittany's at that moment and I walk past the office to the elevators knowing what I have to do.

"Hey Britt, something's come up. I need your help. Steal a taxi and park in front of the building. If someone gets in, tell them you're here to pick someone up. You'll know who when you see them. I'll be in right after."

"Got it San," She hangs up. I'm glad she trusts me on this and doesn't even question my request. I press the button to underground floor and feel my stomach twist as the elevator shoots down.

The door opens to the dimly lit underground area where the cars are delivered to their owners with one scan of a card. The cars themselves are shelved on the walls like books of all colors and sizes. I watch as a giant arm moves one silver Mercedes from its space on the wall, the wheels rest on two sturdy forks that have attached to the arm. It sweeps down effortlessly and places the car on the asphalt ready for its owner to get in and drive off. Before the arm can rise again I check that no one is watching then I jump onto one fork just as it floats above eye level. The arm has got to return the forks to the original space; this one isn't far from where I'm headed.

Most people don't know where their car is parked, but I'd never sleep if I didn't know which space my car was deposited. Even though it's difficult to see where the cars are placed because of the lighting, I managed to figure out where space 777 was.

The forks get returned and the arm removes itself with a loud clink, the sound of metal detaching. I stand in place till the arm stops moving completely then check out the frame work of the space I'm in. On the back wall is the number 570. It's not bad, I only have to climb to the next level and down a few spaces; the odd numbers are on one side and the even numbers are on the other. The task itself shouldn't be hard except I'm wearing the most inconvenient clothes for climbing, plus these pumps are no good for walking on thin metal bars. I'm not about to risk plummeting to my death from hundreds of feet up. In the corner of my eye I see the personnel manager walk in hurriedly and swipe her card causing the arm to begin slowly creeping away from the space I'm in. It moves upward and I quickly walk to the edge and climb onto it, hoping that the darkness will conceal me.

The car parked in space 777 is a White Chevrolet with a bumper sticker that reads, 'watch Broadway not three-ways'. The forks lock under the car, so I don't have much time to dwell on the stupidity of the quote; this is Europe, no one cares about Broadway.

Cars doors are a tad more difficult to pick then regular doors, but I get in just as the car hovers out in open space. Time is the most important issue now; I calculate I have ten minutes max.

By the time I slide out the back of the car and slink in the shadows to the elevators I hear the woman wildly telling the guards her car won't start and that they are responsible. "We'll have our on-call mechanic look at it Ms., we're sorry for the inconvenience. Shall I call a cab for you?" One flustered guard asks and the woman tells him that she expects it to be there the minute she walks out of the building, also that she refuses to pay any fees pertaining to her cars repair since it was working fine when she parked it this morning and it broke on their watch. The doors of the elevator close and I'm headed to the ground floor thinking those guards must still be shocked so many words can come out of that tiny woman. I smirk when my phone buzzes and I see a text from Brittany.

'_Done. Waiting in front now.' _

Mission accomplished.

I walk out the elevator and straight out the building all the while hiding a smile. It feels so good to piss people off and ruin their day. Well that woman's day is going to be much worse the moment she steps into my trap.

"Hey baby, someone looks hot." I wink at Brittany as I slide into the back seat of the taxi, stopping to lean forward through the middle and give her a peck on the lips.

"I love a woman in uniform."

"I'm in taxi driver clothes, how is this hot?" she smiles and leans in to kiss me fully.

"Because you're always hot," I whisper back into her mouth that I realize smells like strawberry. My woman loves gum, almost as much as she loves me. I slip my tongue into her mouth play with the chewy candy which surprises Brittany. It's a whole new level of fun.

"Well," she breaks the kiss when I've successfully transferred the gum from her mouth to mine and then back to hers, "I see a uniform you'll never think is hot, it's coming our way."

Sure enough, the woman I expected comes marching to the taxi looking like a toddler in her ugly sweater and throwing a tantrum. She doesn't even notice I'm in the back seat when she slides in and throws her handbag besides her. "To Sea-Craze," she orders the driver and then starts muttering under her breath how parking employees are so stupid.

Brittany puts the car into motion and I think it's time this woman realizes the shit she's just stepped into. "Head downtown," I order, making my presence known. Brittany throws the car into reverse and heads the opposite way of the beach.

"Wait, what?" The woman whips her head up and her eyeballs almost pop out either from the sight of me or my gun now pressed to her stomach.

"Hi, Rachel didn't know you were in town." So that's her name. I lost so much sweat over that.

"Brittany?" she makes eye contact with her in the mirror. She's looking more and more like someone who just found out her collection of Barbra recordings have been stolen and someone's run them over with their car. She looks back at me, "Santana?"

I smirk. "Hello, Dwarf. Nice to see you haven't grown an inch. We've got so much catching up to do, especially you, since those nine inch pumps you're wearing barely make you tall enough to reach my ears."

She's about to faint and for the first time she has no words. It's priceless.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Just wanted to say I hate Will Shuester so much. I can barely stomach his scenes in glee, like he should forever be replaced by someone else. That's why I wrote him as a sleezy sexist in the story. Sorry if he grossed anyone out. <strong>

**Well, Cliff-hanger again. Next chapter will be fun, I'm taking a break on the angsty relationship stuff for a bit. **


	19. Past, Present, Future

**Thank you to all the people who enjoy this story, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea so I'm just glad I have readers. **

**Sorry this took so long to update. I have lots of school projects to complete and finals are coming. I'll try to keep up though.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18<p>

The gun held to her side shuts her up for fifteen glorious minutes until we park in front of a decrepit building meant for the poorly paid and the ones who are paid highly to stay for one night. I know it's coming and it does. Rachel freaks.

"What is this place? You know, the moment I'm off the radar everyone is going to be looking for me, they'll probably send half the military. I know you can't kill me, so what are you doing? I'm ….I'm not the enemy!" She's white with fear so unlike a trained personnel from Millenicon. She's probably not had much field experience. From what I can remember she's never been real good at anything.

The last part of her statement cracks me though; I lower my face to conceal a snicker. She's such an actor, she'd be better off as a diva or Broadway star. Maybe she's thought about it but hasn't had the chance to pursue. The 'dying heroin' face she's wearing now is sure convincing, but then again, she's probably not acting.

"You're hardly a threat," I snort and push her out of the taxi gun still in position. Brittany tells me she'll be back after she hides the car.

The run-down hotel in the center of town has less than a welcoming feel to it. The only greeting comes from litter and carelessly disposed on the go meals. I step on an already crushed coke can. Rachel stumbles up the cracked steps and does no better in avoiding a half-eaten pizza. Inside there's no one but a boy, hardly past his teen years, with his legs propped up on the counter that I assume is the check-in. His scratched leather boots reveal the cheapness of his position. His clothes and hair only speak more of his pathetic life wandering the streets, drinking alcohol, banging whoever he can get, and drugs. Definitely. The rest of the downstairs floor looks like it may have been a thriving bar in its glory days. There are enough tables and chairs stacked and covered to guess the place once drew in nice crowds. There is even a stage in the far side of the room. It's not what it used to be though.

I don't know why I just noticed, but the smell of smoke hits me when I approach the lazing stud. "I need a room, the best one in this filthy poor excuse of an establishment that has just about as much life as you do." I leave out any emotions that might give away my pity. Life is hard, suck it up – that's how I always lived.

He doesn't really give a shit about my words, he knows I'm right. He slaps a key onto the counter right next to his boots that I can now see have never been washed. "How many nights?" He takes another drag of his nearly finished cigarette.

"Just one." Rachel lets out a breath but then holds it again as she thinks about what 'just one' could possibly mean for her.

"That'll be ten Euros. And you'll need to sign your name on the paper there." He shoves a clipboard closer with his foot.

I tell Rachel she'll die if she moves or tries to escape as I dig through my bag for my wallet. A minute later I hand Rachel the money and tell her to pay. "Sign your name and pick up the key too." She looks at me then at the boy. She doesn't get a look of care from either of us. The whiteness of her face is even more visible now in the dim lighting. She hesitates but does as I say, writing her name down and picking up the keys.

"Last room on the third floor, left wing." The boys smoke is finished so he leans back and closes his eyes, breathing in whatever smoke there is left surrounding him.

"Better fuckin' be the best room, if I have to walk up that many stairs." I leave him to his uselessness and shove Rachel in the back with the barrel of my gun. He doesn't even look fazed when I'm sure he sees I have a weapon.

My phone rings and I growl because this purse thing is just so inconvenient. Office skirts are so impractical, they make it hard to walk and they have no pockets.

"Aren't you going…" Rachel turns around briefly but then keeps trudging up the steps to the third floor when I tell her to shut up and keep walking.

Inside the room I direct her to the bed and push her onto it. "Don't move." I pick the phone out of my purse after the 'pac-man theme song' plays for the third time. Rachel knows better than to ask me about it, I'm sure she already knows anyway.

"Last room on the left, third floor Britt." That's all I need to say, I just hope Brittany doesn't confuse her right and left like she has a habit of doing.

"Get-up and shut the curtains, then get back into bed." I laugh inwardly as Rachel jumps like a trigger and does exactly what I say. In another life she'd be a perfect whore.

It's not that I hate her, I'm having fun and that's all. Brittany won't have any of it when she gets in, so I might as well use my power while I can.

"Move your ass faster, I've waited long enough." I begin taking off my blazer. From the corner of my eye I see Rachel's jaw drop and pull her legs even closer to herself.

"What are you doing?" She stutters as I play with another button of my shirt. I pop it completely and I'm sure she can see the black lace bra supporting my bust.

"What? it's hot," I know I'm not helping the fluster fully displaying on her face.

The afternoon sun is starting to wan. Only a small amount of light comes through the closed curtains. It leaves the room cool and dark. "We're going to have some fun Rachel, and I don't want you resisting or screaming. Do you hear me? You'll do exactly as I say and give me exactly what I want. Now, take your shirt off."

She gulps, not willing to follow through but her hands are already at the base of sweater taking it off. Her eyes remain wide, she tries to say something but her tongue is tied. I've only ever seen her like this once and that's counting the time Quinn spread rumors about her 'doing it' with David the hot Latino fitness coach.

"_What? I didn't do it I swear…I." No one is listening to her. Every table is gossiping about the same thing - her, some fellow students make a ring around her asking how it was, and if she'd do it again if she had the chance. _

"_For the last time, I didn't do anything with Mr. Martinez. I'm sworn to celibacy and even though Mr. Martinez is a very nice man with a swoon worthy smile of pearly whites, I'm saving myself for my one true love. I thought I made that very clear in my soul moving rendition of Whitney Houston's 'Saving all my love for you' performance last karaoke night."_

"_Well, if we didn't know before, we surely do now Virgin Island. But honestly, I still think you made a little exception with coach panties-melter." I can't help but add to the conversation just to see her squirm further. _

"_I…I didn't…" she keeps saying, hoping people will believe her. She's standing there in the middle of her peers, the laughing stock. Not that she's ever been lucky on that front. She must be told at least once a day her nose is the only visible part of her face. _

_A figure steps in, definitely not one I expected. _

_The laughing dies down as 666 (Quinn) walks up to the girl and takes her hand. The girl immediately looks to her feet, preparing for something else to happen and another round of laughter. _

"_Whatever she did to get into Mr. Hot-stuff's pants, I want in. Too bad I'm the only one that gets to know." 666 drags the stupefied girl by the hand out of the crowds. _

_I'm still trying to figure out what's going on when I shuffle my feet away to another hall. I need to catch the conniving bitch in whatever act she's planning to do. _

"_Eaves dropping 595 (Santana)? Trying to get with the fitness coach too? I thought you had a shift in tastes lately." 666 stops walking as I confront her in hallway right in front of the library. The other girl trailing behind her meets my eyes like she's been let on to a secret but quickly looks away when I glare at her. Surprisingly, her eyes fall on her hands and 666's where they are still joined and her gaze stays there._

"_Actually, I was more worried about you; marching off like she's you're new bitch of the week. You know, the talks haven't died down about you being all over 777 (Brittany) last Saturday night." I think I've got her this time. I'm the queen of word wars, I don't lose._

"_I was drunk, and smooching your girl was fun. I'm sure someone has your face in HD video somewhere looking all jealous. But tell me, did you take out all your sexual frustration on your girl that night? Because I'm sure I passed out before I got to hear the moans." She looks absolutely triumphant. I don't understand why I'm not raving and beating her ass right now. It's not true, 777 is not my girl. Just because we fool around and kiss sometimes doesn't mean I'm into that. Why is my throat dry then? Why am I struggling to refute her words?_

"_We went to sleep; I think you sucked all the oxygen out of me." I didn't even know 777 had followed me but I'm glad she did. My girl is a major life saver. Did I just think that? No, she's not my girl – not in that way anyway. _

_There's a stalemate in the air. _

"_Ummm, so are you all …lesbians?" The girl dares to speak. She dares to call the girls who can make her life hell gays. _

"_I'm actually a bicorn," 777 speaks first while 666 and I have a staring contest, I'm trying to tell her not to go any further or she'll regret the words she says. _

"_I certainly am not. I've got a man to prove it, she on the other hand," 666 points to me, "always has blonde pixie attached to her hip so go figure." _

_I'm angry now, like really angry, not only because what she's saying is absolute bullshit but because I'm still having trouble defending myself. "Your boy could pass as a butch female. And isn't it too bad you don't have a single friend? Is that what 'nose' is for? By the way you're still holding her hand I'd say you had other intentions." _

"_I have a number, it's 255, and I don't know what's going on here. Can someone please explain? " She looks desperate. Her eyes plead and I almost laugh. She's trembling in the presence of the top bitches of this place. _

"_I spread the rumors," 666 removes her hand from the other girls grasp. _

"_Why?" The girl backs away two steps and clasps her hands together. She's angry but trying to control herself._

"_I know what you're doing. Trying to steal my man, teaching him to sing – very clever. This is just a warning; don't even think about offering services beyond teaching him note scales because it'll be worse next time. You can leave now." _

_The girl gulps audibly and races down the hallway. _

"_And you," 666 has her nose nearly up against mine, how dare she " stop getting into my business. I can spill whenever I want because I know; you can deny it, but don't get me mad or everyone will know exactly what sort of relationship you have with your best-friend." She smirks and turns to leave the same way the other girl did._

_I can't let her win. I can't let her have this on me, for my good and 777's._

"_I'm not scared of you, go ahead and tell everyone. They'll know you for the deceiver that you are. Plus, I'm getting more regular action than you, with a boyfriend and a hot hook-up." _

_She almost looks shocked when she turns to look at me one final time, but then it's like she sees right through my lies as she shakes her head. _

_A week passes and she threatens me again. This time for off-handedly suggesting a four-some in the food storage with my new boyfriend 'mohawk', my best friend and her man. _

"_Do you get tired of fighting with 666? Sometimes I think you do it for fun but then you look really sad and do things you don't want to do." I'm sitting with777 on the bleachers waiting for our turn on the field. We're alternating teams playing volleyball today; it's supposed to teach us teamwork skills and trust. _

"_I'm not sad and I always have a reason for doing things." I shrug like it's no big deal. She has me questioning myself though. I've been thinking a lot lately about my fights with my nemesis and how absolutely stupid the things are that we fight about. Sometimes it's fun, but sometimes…I don't even see the point anymore. I was trying to prove a point in the beginning, that I could withstand anything – I was strong and wouldn't take anyone's crap. When 666 challenged that I went all out but it was clear now that no matter who was winning which battles, everyone else stopped caring about keeping the score._

"_Why can't we all just be friends? She's not mean to me; sometimes she helps me with things when I don't understand. It'd be awesome; we could be the holy trinity. She could be god because she's scary, you'd be the spirit because she's super pretty just like you and I'd be the sun because I'm super bright and happy all the time." _

_She never fails to make me laugh. People don't understand why she's my best friend; they don't know her like I do – that is she's brilliant and always the perfect remedy to my constant rain clouds and thunderstorms. That was her way of labeling our friendship and I think it's perfect, she's perfect. _

"_Do you notice that girl 666 spread rumors about last week keeps looking at her? I've counted 4 times in the past fifteen minutes." _

_777 starts paying attention to the game and looking extra hard for what I'm talking about. 666 and that girl are on the same team, every time 666 has her back turned, the other girl leers. _

"_I see it! She's so into her. Maybe she's a unicorn?" 777 turns to look at me and her smile falters. "What?" _

"_Nothing, just that I think we're going to be on better terms with 666 soon." I bump my shoulder with her as we're called to the field._

_After a grueling game of volleyball, my team won because I made the best player on the other team cry so they were a best man down. I was on a sort of high; winning does things to me. _

_On the way back to our rooms for showers, I step in line with 666. _

"_Hey, what do you think about calling truce?" She looks surprised at my proposition. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to explain without losing my reputation so I hope she doesn't ask. _

"_Why would I want to do that? Are you conceding defeat already?" She keeps on walking down the hall but starts to break away from the other people. I follow her to the cafeteria. _

"_Please, when I'm winning? No, I'm doing this cus' I think it'd be much more fun if we were allies." _

_The other girl grabs a water bottle and drinks it while I wait for some sort of answer. I sit on the table and watch her pace the floor trying to make up her mind. Maybe I shouldn't have suggested it; I knew she wouldn't say yes. What was I thinking? That girl hates me._

"_Ok," _

"_What?" I think I go dizzy for a few seconds._

"_Just to be clear, we are not friends and I don't promise I'll stop having my fun with you but having a cohort just brings so many new possibilities to mind. I have one condition though." I cock my head to the side. "You've got to bring me something sort of as a tribute or whatever. Bring me that girl." _

_A smile spreads across my face. "Well then, I guess you got yourself a deal on the same terms. I'd still watch your back if I were you." _

_She nods. "Tonight in my room, I'll be waiting to get our fun on. Oh, and you can bring your magical rainbow charm. So if you get me mad and I kick you out, I'll still have her to help me play."_

_It's crossed my mind before why 666 never picked on 777. She'd be such an easy target, but there's something about her. Maybe 666 sees the same thing that I see in her, she's special and not in the pitiful way. She's special in her own wonderful way. _

"_777, want to do something fun?" It's amazing how fast our friendship budded. We started doing everything together without having second thoughts. _

_She'd always be my first choice for everything. _

"_Does it involve 'Mohawk' and getting sweaty? I don't think I'm up for that." 777 rolls onto her side and looks at me through the darkness. It's just past midnight and most people are sleeping, that's when I usually suggest something naughty to do. This place has so many rules, I think I'll go crazy if I don't get out and break them. _

"_Nope, we're going to get something for 666." _

_Her eyelids open wider at this. There's excitement behind them. "You're friends now?" She scoots off her bed and walks to sit on mine. "That's the best thing ever." _

"_Not friends. Allies." _

"_You make it sound like world war five, wait, how many were there already?"_

_I break into a smile, I don't know what's sillier my grin or her question. "Two girl, there's only been two world wars. But come on, are you going to help me with this?"_

_She jumps off the bed and pulls my hand, eagerness written all over her face. _

"_You have to be quiet!" I tell her so she stops giggling. I'd already briefed her on operation nose-nap. "Your feet are being noisy," she counters. _

_It doesn't take long for us to break into her room. 777 has a knack for getting into places without the aid of a key. I creep slowly past the sleeping form of 'noses' roommate with 777 following on my heel. _

"_Give me the hanky," 777 whispers. I hand it to her while keeping watch on the door and the other bed. It's funny to watch the girl get tied up around her eyes without even knowing it. I give 777 another hanky to tie the girls hands and another to stuff in the girls mouth. That's when she wakes up. _

_She's saying something but the hanky is restricting the words to come out clear or over loud. It's just a gurgle. _

"_Lets get her out of here, I'll get her arms." I position her in my arms and then 777 supports her leg as she hovers over the bed. _

_The girl wiggles but she's going to get out of the grip. She doesn't stop until we've discarded her on the bed in 666's room. She doesn't have a roommate. I'd call her lucky if I didn't have such a great roommate myself. _

"_Here's your tribute." I wipe my forehead. The girl is rolling around on the bed now. It's hilarious. 777 goes to keep her still, or at least keep her from rolling off the bed and injuring herself. _

"_Good," 666 walks over to the girl and begins ripping her pj's off. The button down stripped shirt doesn't come off completely due her hands being tied but other than that everything is on display. I don't know how long I've been looking at the contour of the girl's body before I hear a snort from 777. She's not usually happy about doing things that physically hurt people or anything that's particularly mean. But this is funny, even I laugh once I'm out of my daze. _

_666 rips the blindfold off of the girl. She blinks, adjusting to the light and sizing up her situation. She's got that look; she's totally horrified, naked, and being laughed at. I'll never get it out of my mind. _

"_This is for doing more than teach my man some songs." 666 snarls than full on kisses the girl, biting her lip in the process. There's blood on both their lips and I think it's the hottest thing I've ever seen. _

"_Please," the captive girl seems to shout but the hanky in her mouth muffles it. 666 doesn't care – she's never been soft. _

Her sweater hits the floor and she tentatively reaches for the buttons of her blouse. I know she doesn't want to do it but I give her a pointed look, she continues. The first button comes undone and I smirk.

"Please," she whimpers. Her face is crest-fallen. I'm sure she remembers that night just as clearly as I do. That night she got played with, not raped, just humiliated and I got asked a question I didn't dare answer about myself. After it was over and Rachel was sworn to never tell anyone, Brittany and I went back to our room. I was flustered even though I hadn't taken any part in Quinn's game. That was the first time I even considered being attracted to girls. It wasn't only Brittany. She was the only one I wanted to kiss and hold but Rachel, seeing her naked, having Quinn do things to her – it turned me on. When Brittany asked that night why I liked boys so much when girls were just as fun I couldn't answer. The only thing that ran through my head was that girls were_ more_ fun than boys and that if I wasn't afraid to say it, I'd choose a girl over a guy every time.

Her shirt was half way unbuttoned and a tear trickled out over her cheek.

"Stop," I didn't want to push her too far. She raises her eyes to lock on mine when I move closer. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed now, my face level to hers but at a safe distance. I smile to break the tension, to let her know I won't be commanding her to do anything else.

Brittany bursts into the room. Rachel immediately looks to her for help; she knows Brittany will empathize with her.

"Wow San, I didn't know we were doing _this_." Brittany looks between me and Rachel confused. "It's really hot and all but uhhhh…isn't it too soon?"

Rachel's face falls. Her knight in shining armor isn't exactly planning on saving her from the situation.

"I wasn't doing anything Britt, and we're not doing anything like that. I was just reminding her of her place and of course of..." I shuffle a little farther away from Rachel who still can't get words out of her mouth.

"Oh, yeah I totally remember that…" Brittany smiles and sits on the bed opposite to me.

"You're mean Santana; I don't know what I've done to deserve this. That was one of my worst memories and you just had to bring it up." Rachel finishes buttoning her shirt back up and crosses her arms over her chest in anger.

"First of all, as I said you need to know that I…well Britt and I are in control here. Second of all, it wouldn't have been so terrifying for you if you had just told Quinn what you did with Orca. Thirdly, I'm not so good with bonding with people so, sorry if I had to remind you of the beginning of our 'friendship'." In truth, I never considered her a friend but she wasn't an enemy either. By some strange happenings she eventually became attached to the 'unholy trinity', well we called her the 'side-kick 'then.

"So, why didn't we just bring her home San?" Brittany still looks confused.

"Because I need to know why she's here," I direct to Rachel and don't break my eye contact with her. In my mind there is only one reason for her to be here. "I need answers Rachel, why are you here? Who sent you? How did you know I'd be here? What are their plans?"

Rachel blinks, trying to remember the questions and wondering which she should answer first.

"Fuckin' answer me, damn it!" I'm doing it again, losing my temper. I can't believe after giving everything to get this life I've always wished for, someone is trying to take it away from me before I even get to enjoy it.

"San calm down." Brittany gets up and holds me against the wall, removing the gun from my hand. I wouldn't shoot anyone in this room, Brittany knows that, but I'm glad she takes it.

"I'm calm," I close my eyes and count to ten and my heartbeat returns to normal. I open them again to Brittany's smiling face and I smile back. "Good," she says and kisses my cheek.

"Rachel, I'm sorry… I just really need to know." She takes my apology but she doesn't smile. She almost looks confused.

"Believe me Santana; I didn't know either you or Brittany was even alive when I was sent here. All they wanted me to do was find some information for them. If it makes you feel better your names are way down on the list since, you know, you both have been pretty much dead to them after you went MIA." The information that's supposed to be comforting does very little soothing. If there's a list that can only mean one thing, they're trying to do a sweep. I don't know why, but every single agent is in danger and Rachel is only confirmation that they are searching.

"What are you looking for?" Brittany asks curiously. She returns from turning on the lights. I didn't realize the sun had gone down completely.

"Quinn, a picture of her with a little girl surfaced. I think it was at an airport. They're after both of them and Puck."

I can see she's trying to keep her emotions hidden. Something else dawns on me. Quinn was MIA too, if she can get back on their hit list then so can Brittany and I.

"Are you going to do it Rachel?" I know we all had our differences but I thought that when we were shipped off for our first missions we'd at least established something close to a friendship. I thought she'd care about us, about Quinn, even just a little bit.

"Do what Santana." She becomes cold. Her eyes harden. "I haven't done anything."

I answer with just as much curtness. "Turn Quinn in once you find out where she is. Become a backstabber; take away the little left she has of her life of hiding with take her daughter."

"Quinn has a daughter?" Her eyes light up at the new information. Something inside me tells me Rachel doesn't want to do any of this; she's just a pawn in Millenicon's hands. None of this is her choice. "I didn't know that she…" Her resolve breaks and tears run freely.

Brittany sits next to Rachel and wraps her in a hug. "Yeah, her name is Beth. She's so much like Quinn, pretty and smart."

"I don't want to do it, I wasn't going to in the first place but now…she has a daughter…I don't know what to do." She continues to cry into Brittany's shoulder.

"Millenicon are planning a clean sweep of everyone in the agency. They're shutting down operation because they were found out to be doing illegal things - betraying the country even. They don't want to leave any traces; everyone on that list is in danger and probably the rest of us working for them now. I had to come because I didn't have a choice but I was going to think of something, to get out of doing it."

I open the window and curtains. Suddenly the air is too thick and too suffocating. It's like she dropped a bomb that shattered any dreams of normalcy I had. All at once it's not just my life or Brittany's on the line, it's everyone else too, Rachel, Quinn, Beth, and Puck. The other people I got to know in the agency, people who would die for things they didn't do.

The universe hates me; I wonder what I did in my past life for this one to be so complicated. All I wanted was to be happy with Brittany, I guess even that is too much to ask. The part of me that once waged war on the place that spawned me and the others like me wants to destroy things, to get payback.

"Shit, shit, shit."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: too much Rachel? I wanted to establish their history a bit as it'll be helpful to know her past and how it ties in with Brittana and Quinn. I'm gonna make it clear now that there is no Faberry romance in this story. Also, Santana's acting out and being extra mean is because she's always been like that and although she's getting better at controlling herself sometimes the old her breaks out. Sort of like two steps forward one step back, I know, but the journey is what makes it fun. Drama coming up next chapter so stay tuned. <strong>


	20. Trying

**I decided to divide this into two part so you guys won't have to wait so long. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 19 part 1<p>

"Santana, Santana," someone is calling me. A few seconds pass and my vision clears. The city's grown dark with the fading of the sun under the waves. It's one of the first sunsets I haven't enjoyed. Who would smile when it reminds them how hope comes and goes?

"Santana, where did you go?" Brittany runs her fingers gently through my hair and kisses my forehead.

"Where's Rachel?" She's not on the bed where I last saw her. Did I really space out that long? Had Brittany let her go home, just like that?

"She's using the bathroom San, she's upset." At this point everyone should be upset. I sit down on the bed and Brittany follows. All my strength is gone; I don't even care that this bed could still have remnants of other people's germs on it. The worst case scenarios run through my mind with lightning speed but there are alternatives too – there has to be one that will work.

"We have to get out of here Britt, I don't trust her." I can hear her flushing the toilet and when she comes out her eyes are red. She shuffles on one foot and then the other as she stands in front of Brittany and me, almost like she's awaiting orders.

"Sit down Rachel," she does what I say, tentatively keeping her distance on the bed. "I have to establish something first. You are on our side right? Meaning you're with the people you're supposed to be finding and killing." Rachel nods without any hesitation. Her eyes are wide and attentive as if she's waiting to hear the gavel slam and the jury announce she's free of all charges.

"This could be a good thing now that I think about it." There's always a way to use Millenicon's assets against them, and Rachel is perfect. She'd be the last suspect if anything were to happen; god knows Rachel can feign innocence better than any actress.

"What do you want me to do?" Rachel gulps, hoping she can get away with not doing her orders.

"I want you to stay put, do whatever they tell you to do but run it through me and Brittany first. Let's just say we're a team now, and if you're interesting in kicking some Millenicon butt then you are welcome to join us." It's a brazen idea and possibly a stupid one but it's either kill or be killed. In battle there is no other option. Being on the hit list is basically awaiting death. But it won't happen, not if we can take down the hand that commands before it's too late.

"So, I'm just supposed to keep working there? Working for them?" It's like Rachel was expecting a call to arms or a revolution. She knows how to make everything dramatic.

"No, you're working there under the pretense of working for them when you're really working for well, us…as a group." I get up knowing there's not much more to say or do until Millenicon makes another move.

I usher everyone out of the small room. I appreciate the space of the hallway when we step out of the jail like confines. I decide to leave all my worries and every bad feeling in that room. We'll figure it out, I tell myself and with Brittany's face sort of smiling at me and Rachel's determined look; I believe the words I'm saying.

"You live at Sea-craze?" Brittany asks Rachel as we walk to my car. We ditched the taxi around the corner where Brittany had taken it from in the first place.

"Yeah, they set up my living space. It's nice actually; it overlooks the sea, although I haven't had much time to appreciate it in all its glory." Rachel gets into the back as I take the wheel. She's already back to trying to impress. I guess my gun in her face won't be so threatening now.

"Dwarf, no need to get detailed, orange is orange; I didn't even know that meringue is a color. All I know is that I see the sun rise over the ocean every day and I thank someone up there that I am still alive." I stop in front of her apartment and let Rachel out. She stands awkwardly at my window. "What do you want?"

"I want to thank you Santana for giving me the benefit of the doubt. And for not killing me and throwing my body in a bag to drift at sea till some poor fisherman discovers it and…"

"Got it dwarf, see you in the office tomorrow." Rachel nods her head and waves good-bye to Brittany.

"So baby, what do you want to eat tonight?" I won't let today ruin this for me and Brittany. The knowledge that danger could be just around the corner gives me the opposite feeling of fear. It gives me courage to live each day as I should. If life ends then so be it but I'm using every second of every day from now on doing the thing I've wanted the most -be with Brittany and enjoy the moments we still have left together.

"Something simple," Brittany replies as she covers my free hand with hers. "How about finger food?"

I don't think I've ever loved being so ridiculous in my life. We stopped by a small restaurant and Brittany ordered anything and everything that could be eaten by hand. We ended up getting mostly hors d'oeuvres .

"Let me feed you San." I refuse to open my mouth. Its fun playing stubborn with Brittany, I get to see all the cute faces and pouts she makes. "I promise it tastes better from my fingers."

"really?" I pick up a fried shrimp and pop it into my mouth. "Because it tastes perfectly fine off my fingers."

Brittany pouts for real and bites hard into the piece of tuna cracker she had been holding out for me. She starts eating everything, the chips, French bread, meat balls, French fries, totally ignoring me.

"Britt are you mad? I was only playing baby, don't be like that." I grab her hand as it coasts over the bowl of mixed nuts.

"Like what Santana? Clearly I overstepped some personal boundary of yours. With you it feels like there's this rule book that I have to learn. And I can't do anything outside of it." Brittany pulls her hand away and crosses her arms, "It's like we can only do stuff if you initiate it. Then it's ok."

"What?" I almost shout. I barely teased her and now she's acting up. "Brittany, you need to stop being overdramatic. Did you pick it up from Rachel? I was just playing with you; tell me where I'm wrong. Where is this even coming from?" I put my arms in the same stance as Brittany and we just stare. It doesn't look like she's giving up any time soon. I guess the next best thing I can do is apologize even though I have no idea what I did.

"I'm sorry Britt, I didn't mean to make you feel that way." I give her an apologetic smile and scoot to sit behind her. Slowly I put pressure on her shoulders till her body relaxes against mine. "I'm sorry."

"I'm so stupid. You're right, I shouldn't have over reacted; it's not your fault San." Brittany gets comfortable and places her head in the crook of my neck.

"Tell me what's up Brittany. You can always talk to me."

"It's silly San." She picks up a french fry and waves it in front of me. This time I don't hesitate to take it into my mouth along with her fingers. Her face is surprised then settles into one of satisfaction as I focus on sucking on her fingers. They do taste delicious, Brittany was right.

"I love the taste of your fingers Britt," I release them so she can pick up something else, an almond, and feed me again. I do the same thing, wrap my lips around her long fingers and suck. This time I let my tongue run up and down the parts buried deep in my mouth.

"Do you have to make everything sexy?" Brittany says with a light voice like she's out of breath. I didn't know sucking someone's finger could take their breath away.

I release her fingers with a pop. "I can't help it baby." I dip my head down and tease my lips over hers, but I don't let them touch. "Tell me what's wrong Brittany. I don't care if it's silly; I just want to hear everything you have to say."

"Are you sure? You're not allowed to laugh."

"Pinky promise." I smile when she smiles.

"Ok, so today after you left I just wandered around. It was like everywhere I went, there were these couples being all coupley, holding hands, kissing, making each other laugh." Brittany's looking at me, but her eyes stare off into a world far away.

"Are you saying I'm not affectionate enough Brittany? Because I'm sure we've done all those things in public." I put my arms around her and squeeze tightly. Her eyes focus on mine as they fill with alarm.

"No San, that's not what I mean at all!" She pushes herself off of me and turns so we're facing each other. "You're doing everything right." I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm worried that I'm not doing enough to make you happy, like I just walked into your life with a load of baggage and since we have a history you're supposed to be ok with everything I am now – luggage and all." A hint of tears swell in her eyes. "You've been so good to me San, and I haven't really done anything to deserve you. So I was trying and then I guess I got frustrated when you rejected me. It's not a big deal, I over reacted. I just want to make the most of what we have now seeing as the future…well, it isn't so bright."

I didn't know Brittany was so scared, I didn't know she felt unworthy. "Baby, don't say that. You make me so happy." I open my arms and she crawls in, laying her head on my chest as I stroke her hair. "If this is about you getting better, I want you to know that it's not your fault things are this way. And you need to know that helping you get better is the most honorable thing I could ever do."

I put a few kisses across her forehead and tip her head back so she's looking directly in my eyes. "It makes the reward of loving you so much more fulfilling. Knowing we both had to fight for it will make that day so special Brittany. I can't wait for it yet I can wait for a million years because I love you and I want you to get better just as bad as you do."

Brittany starts to cry so I lean down and kiss her softly, to let her know even that is ok. Everything is ok as long as we're together.

"Here, let me wipe your face." I grab a napkin and dab all the wet spots on her face.

"You have really ugly napkins Santana," Brittany jokes.

"Came with the property, I've been thinking of getting new ones for a long time, I was just waiting for you to help me pick them out." Brittany smiles and holds the inside my hand to her lips.

"Well I'm here now so when do we get to go shopping?" I'd like to say tomorrow but I have work, and a few things to deal with regarding Rachel.

"How about tomorrow afternoon I pick up my missus for a trip to Cuomo's Lucky Store? I think there are a few things here that should be replaced."

"Sounds good," Brittany leans up to give me another quick peck. "And I think we should replace this mess with a different type of mess." Her eyes go to the pile of bags and food plates.

"Really now?" I raise my eyebrows liking where this conversation is headed. "What type of mess did you have in mind?"

"Clothes. All of them."

I wake up groggy to the blaring alarm clock. I silence it and summon all my effort to get out from under the covers. It's six now, I must have slept through the first and second alarm. Well three's the charm. I grab my towel and hit the shower.

Brittany is still sleeping when I get out. Last night we'd made a mess of clothes indeed, I had to step around it to get to the closet. After picking out a dress suit and putting it on I start picking up the random article of clothes strewn one on top of the other. It was in the heat of the moment. Brittany and I finished throwing the empty food bags away and did the dishes. The next moment I'd closed the door to my room then I was being attacked by long fingers, popping my shirt buttons so violently I feared they'd fall off altogether. My skirt followed then I help her shed her clothes faster than trees sheds leaves in autumn. Flinging things had never been so intense. I don't know how we made it to bed, either Brittany or I navigated our bodies till we were falling over and mixing our limbs like we mixed our clothes on the floor.

"San? I'll clean up come here first." Brittany stirs awake and sits up. Her hair covers her face so that I can only see one eye and a yawn. She's so adorable. I leave the clothes on the floor and sit on the bed near to her; she leans her forehead on my shoulder and embraces my body. "You smell good," Brittany presses a kiss to my neck and I tilt my head, encouraging her to keep pressing her lips there.

"I'm going to be late for work baby, but don't forget our appointment." I brush the locks of hair out of her face so I can see her pretty eyes and perfect nose. I kiss her above her eyebrow and I kiss her nose; I just want to kiss all over her but the sun through the window reminds me dawn is long gone and I need to be at work. "You didn't forget already did you Britt?" I pull her off me so I can have a proper conversation.

"Of course I remember San, we need new napkins and while we're at it I think we need new pillows; I want a bolster." Brittany pouts like a child does when she really wants something.

"Well then, you think about all the things we might need and I'll come pick you up at 12:30." Brittany nods and gets out of bed. She's still naked as ever and the sun's rays falling on her skin just makes her look delicious.

"I think you should leave before my ass seduces you into staying all day San." Brittany says, demonstrating just how accurate her words are by bending over right in front of me to pick up my discarded bra; her perfect bottom on full display in my face.

"Got it babe," I get up instantly but not before placing a kiss to one of her round butt cheeks. "See you in a few hours." Brittany says something about keeping it my pants till then but I'm already out of the bedroom, face flushed and not at all prepared to go to work.

I walk into the office confidently, having already taken care of what Brittany started. I had to park in the general parking space today and I was not happy about that. That's why I'm here in front of Barbra Streep's office about to make some demands.

I don't care enough to have the decency to knock before entering, I invite myself in.

"Jes…Santana, you scared me. I was practicing my lines for inviting people in; I didn't expect you to be the first. Couldn't you have knocked? I could really use some practice saying 'Come in, how may I help you,' with confidence." I don't think she needs any more confidence. She already has enough to scare away any prospective visitors.

"Calm it dwarf, if anyone comes in here they'll be out before you can get to the end of that sentence. It sounds like your offering to get into their pants, not professional." Rachel wasn't expecting that. I feel my face about to tear with the amount of joy I have watching her shift uncomfortably in her seat. "I'm here and I don't want your services. What I want are a few things actually and you're not going to deny me any of them."

Rachel snaps out of her humiliating state and narrows her eyebrows at me. "Excuse me but I think I should be the one who decides if I do or give anything to you Santana…"

"Names Anita dwarf," I interrupt, I can't risk getting caught because loud mouth Rachel can't remember her job.

"Right, Anita…"

"I don't have all day Barbra so let's get to it. Here's the deal you give me my parking space back, you give me Michael Chang as assistant and you don't question or stand in my way when I want to do something that is technically not allowed here. In exchange, I leave you to do your job with the least verbal harassments I can live with and you don't die." I smile, satisfied with my proposition; there's no way Rachel can say no.

"I don't know why you want any of those things…" Rachel stutters and smoothes her hands over the desk to rid her nerves.

"just say yes Barbra so I can get out of this empowerment dedicated office." I lean further over the desk till I'm scowling in Rachel's face; girl doesn't know how to take a hint.

"Ok yes. You can have the parking space, whatever his name is, and my support for whatever evil you plan on doing."

"Thank you." I smirk and walk out of the office without a good bye or have a good day.

My work is stacked up and ready for me just like Will said. I plop down into my comfortable full function office chair, and sweep my hand over the length of my table. It's big, just how I like my space to be, my office is testament to that. I power the 17 inch flat screen monitor and high-speed CPU as I kick off my pumps. What's under the table stays under the table and it's not like it's against company policy to not where shoes in the office.

I start running my fingers through the pages of the first file labeled 'progressive taxes July –September'. I get through the first income statement when there's a knock on my door.

"Come in." I didn't need practice for that, authority comes naturally to me. A head pops and it is followed by the rest of his body. "If it isn't my favorite boss," Michael Chang beams at me, he looks perfect in his ironed white shirt, silver necktie, well fitting pants and shiny leather shoes and one more thing, the coffee in his hands I just remembered I didn't have any this morning.

"And if it isn't my favorite running boy." I try to keep my smile from being too wide as he walks up and places the Starbucks labeled coffee on my desk complete with a folded tissue, stirring spoon and sugar packet. And this is why Michael Chang is my boy.

"I'm just glad your back, my life hasn't been the same since you left." He stands at attention, hair combed back out of his face and hands clasped in front of him. "It was like the horrible bosses' movie started happening for real."

"Sit down Mike, no need to get in my good books; you're already at the top. That's why I had to make sure Ra…Barbra didn't get you." It's funny that I get to use Rachel's insult name in a non-insulting way. Michael sits down and it's like we were before, best team on the job. "So, fill me in on everything I missed Mike."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm currently working on a huge term project which is a report of over a hundred pages and working on another story so bear with me here. I'll still update this one but if it takes a little longer just know that I have a lot on my plate. <strong>

**R&R**


	21. Settling In

**Thanks for being patient. Don't give up on me yet! I'm trying hard to keep this story going with the limited time I have:) **

* * *

><p>Chapter 20<p>

Apart for some change in staff and some deals falling through, everything seems to be business as usual.

"Mike, has there been any special operations lately?"

"No, nothing that required your level of expertise. There's a case with the Indian government that I think they were going to give to Barbra Streep, but I don't know the level of difficulty that negotiation will be."

I'm not letting Rachel have that only to screw it up. She's been here what? A month?

"I'd appreciate it if you could get me the details on that case. I'm pretty sure it'll be mine anyways now that I'm back." I finish my coffee and place the empty cup into his waiting palm as he swoops all the other accessories off the table.

"And one more thing Mike, I need you to keep an eye on Barbra." We share a knowing smile before he nods and leaves.

The rest of my morning is spent on the stack of files given to me. There isn't much compared to what I'm used to working on and most of the balance sheets seem to be in order except for one by a company named 'Walken Enterprise'. There seems to be multiple deals where sales taxes were being paid from a special account before passing through another. It doesn't make sense to wire money through two accounts unless there's some avoidance technique coming into play.

I wake my sleeping monitor and face my black wallpapered screen. I run the government's tax program and wait for all the information to build. My phone rings and a smiling Brittany comes on screen.

"Hey," I'm still not free to say what I want. My office is one of the most secure and that means double the amount of cameras and microphones. I've never had the need for privacy at work but maybe I'll have to rewire some things.

"Ok, yeah. See you in a bit." I hang up and focus my attention back onto the screen. Brittany had just encountered the mailman who in my opinion should be fired for rudeness. She couldn't understand what he was saying but she said there were two letters from unknown addresses for me and that she just signed in my place because she thought that'd be the most normal thing to do. But then she felt guilty and called me. I wonder who would send me letters at my house. I've never had anything sent there. Everything work related was sent to my office.

I put that worry in the back of my mind as I focus on the numbers lined up in neat rows and columns on my screen. There's a pattern, the past two months sales were high and a small amount was put into another account but then it was transferred back ten days later and the taxes were paid in full. But why the extra account? I press the button on the edge of my desk and call for Mike. He comes in immediately.

"I need you to run a full scan on 'Walken Enterprise', I want an audit of all their financial activity for the first three quarters of this year and all of last year."

I check the time; I have half an hour till my appointment with Brittany. I forget how fast time flies when I'm immersed in work. I start putting my shoes on re-stacking the files I already went through. There's one left that I'll look at tomorrow.

"I'll have it here by tomorrow morning if that's ok, unless you want it this afternoon then I'll do it over lunch. It'll probably be ready before two." Mike holds my purse for me ready to walk me out.

"Tomorrow will be fine Mike, I'm not coming back in." I let him open the door for me. He waits patiently while I lock my office.

"Do you have a meeting this afternoon? I checked your schedule but there seems to be nothing written as of yet." He's sharp and does his job well.

"No, I just got back so I have no business engagements yet. I do have an appointment though so I won't be back." I get my bag back from him.

He sees me off at the elevator with a smile and a small wave.

I remind myself once again to get Rachel to sign over her parking space if she doesn't do it by the end of the day. It's just not right for someone of my position to have a regular. It takes off so many 'authority' points. I pull my thick, dark shades over my eyes and get into my car.

I can see Brittany on the porch as I park in front of the gate. I was thinking to call her but it looks like that wasn't necessary. She's more than ready with her sun hat, casual jeans with rips at the knees, my designer boots and a white tank top. The moment I pull up she jumps off the porch seat and runs down the drive way. I laugh when she stops at the closed gate and thinks about how she's going to open it. She contemplates going back inside for the keys but before she can make her way back up the driveway I click the button on my keychain and the automatic gate opens.

"Sheesh, I forgot about the gate," Brittany says in an excited tone as she hops into the passenger's seat without opening the door. If it was anyone else I would have scolded them already about being gentle and about how expensive the leather seats were. But Brittany being Brittany landed like a cat, softly and gracefully. I almost forgot Brittany had said something because I'm still mesmerized by the insane muscles in her arms that were on full display when she supported herself in her jump.

"….so stupid." I catch the last bit of her rant. I put the car into reverse and head down the steady slope to the main road.

"You're not stupid Britt, just…forgetful sometimes. But you were cute, trying to figure out what you'd forgotten and scratching your head. That's why I didn't open it for you immediately." I give her a sneaky smirk and she feigns an angry face and lightly hits my arm.

Brittany decides she's not that hungry. While I drive she tells me of her adventures on the streets near our home. "There were so many yummy things to have with my morning coffee." She whines apologetically.

"So what do you want for lunch then baby?" I pull the car onto the shoulder of the road. Brittany pretends to think hard though I know she already has something in mind. "Out with it, as awesome as I am I can't read minds." I lower my sunglasses so my eyes peek out at her.

"Let's go to the beach," she gives me her biggest grin, as if that's going to work.

"Nope, too hot and nothing to eat." I snap my shades back on and ignore her pout. I can't, won't look at her while she's making that face else I might give in.

"Take me to that bar then, the one where I saved you from Quinn." Brittany may or may not know it but her request scares me a little. That's practically my social life right there. Bringing her there is similar to letting her 'meet the parents'. The people there are like family and I half fear they won't like her or that she won't like them. It's near impossible of course because, well, this is Brittany – everyone likes Brittany. I still have that moment of indecision though; it could go completely right or completely wrong. It also feels like I'm giving Brittany free pass to everything about my current life, there won't be an 'I' anymore, just an 'us' – it freaks me out a bit.

"If you don't want to it's fine." Brittany is turning the other way, looking out at the small street stands to distract her from the situation; it kicks in that she probably feels bad for asking. It also means she knows exactly what she's asking me.

"Let's do it - time for people to meet my girlfriend." I put the car into motion again and catch her eye as she turns to look back at me. She's beaming and I wink.

Bar Ercolano is barely open when I step in, my hand holds Brittany's as she follows. There's a boy setting the stools around the tables, another wipes the grungy windows and one more checks the liquor stocks. I know that boy, barely eighteen but knows the liquor better than most. He's Joaquin's cousin. He's been here since the age of fifteen and believe it or not hasn't touched alcohol –it's not that Joaquin doesn't let him. An alcoholic father and abandoning mother has kept him far away from such things. He has a younger sister, he works so she can go to school.

"Hey Victor, when is Joaquin going to give you this bar?" I sit on one of the tall stools at the bar and Brittany does the same.

The boy with bright, olive eyes turns around and sends a crooked smile. "Nice to see you Anita. Joaquin told me you were back but I was visiting my sister last week so I missed you."

"And how is Rosella doing?" I nod in thanks as he serves Brittany and me some freshly pressed orange juice.

"She's doing well, a whole year ahead too. I'm proud of her." Victor goes on to dry the newly washed glasses.

"As I'm sure Joaquin is proud of you."

He gives me a boyish grin, turning his face away but not fast enough for me to miss the slight red in his cheeks. I've known for a while about his innocent crush on me – more like admiration. In his mind I'm like a super-heroin or something. He gets dreamy eyes when I drop some clues on my latest job; I can't count how many times he's complimented me on how 'awesome' I am.

"Victor, could I get the menu?" I remember that Brittany and I are here for lunch. "They have the best sandwiches here Britt, I don't know about you but I'm starving so don't be surprised if I have one too many."

Victor comes back with two laminated menus, he hands one to me and lowers his eyes as he hands one to Brittany.

"Oh, Victor, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend…Jess." I smile wider than I intend to. I don't know if I'll ever get over introducing Brittany as my girlfriend even if in a name I just made up. Now I really need to talk to Francis about getting Brittany some identity.

Brittany puts her hand out without missing a beat and grabs Victor's firmly when he hesitates to grip his hand in hers.

"Honor to meet you, especially since, you know, you're Anita's girlfriend." His voice shakes with nervousness and excitement.

"The same to you," Brittany squeezes his hand for the last time. "So, as future owner what do you suggest?" She scrolls her eyes up and down the menu then waits for Victor.

"Well, the drinks are all good, depends on what you're feeling but for an afternoon snack I'd go for sandwiches or fries, we've got some cool dips." He finishes his suggestions and stuffs his hands in his jean pockets to stop from fiddling. He side eyes the counters behind him mentally checking to see that all the dips are indeed full or perhaps he needs to check that he refilled them.

"I'll have the big tray of sandwiches, you know my favorites." I don't have to look at the menu because well, I can quote it in a heartbeat if anyone asked.

"Got it, anything else? Ms. Jess?" His eyes dart to her, then to the floor, then to the glasses stacked unevenly. They need to go on the shelves.

"I'll have fries and all the dips."

"On it now." Victor hurries away to the kitchen to put in our orders.

"Jess?" Brittany quirks an eyebrow at me.

"What? It'd be weird if didn't give a name…and that name just came to me." I defend myself but can clearly see Brittany was only playing.

"So Anita and Jess Capella?" She twirls a blonde curl around her fingers while still giving me an innocent look.

"We're not married." I chuckle but then swear loudly when rough arms circle my upper body in a crushing squeeze.

"That was fast, and you didn't even invite me." The pressure releases and I turn full circle to see Joaquin smirking. I turn to Brittany who is scowling.

"Uh….Joaquin, meet my girlfriend Jess. And Jess, this is Joaquin. He owns this place and is a good friend." Brittany's face relaxes as she extends a hand. He takes it and kisses it chivalrously.

"Hey, I may not be married to her but there are boundaries." I slap Joaquin on the shoulder. He waves me off like kissing the hands of other peoples girlfriends is just part of being amiable.

"There will be boundaries on your tab here too if you don't come over tonight. I'm gathering the boys, they've wanted to get together ever since they found out you came back." Joaquin wipes his brow and starts stacking the shot glasses on the shelf.

Victor comes out at the same time; Joaquin steals the tray from his hand and sets the food on the bars surface.

"Thanks Victor," I ignore Joaquin, and send the younger boy a smile that is quickly returned. He sets his hands busy with the glass towers.

"San," Brittany leans over to whisper, "Are you eating all of that?" She looks from the sandwich tray to me.

"I told you not to be surprised baby, I'm hungry and these sandwiches are awesome. Bite?" I don't give her much choice as I shove the ham and celery sandwich I'm holding towards her.

"It's good," Brittany says with her mouth full. I wipe some mayonnaise off the corner of her mouth and like my finger.

"Again, what I said." I take a bite of the sandwich now half eaten. Brittany's fries and dip come and I don't hesitate to snatch one before she gets a chance to try.

"The seafood dip is the best if you ask me." Brittany makes a fake angry face. "I didn't ask you, stop stealing my food."

"Come on, I let you have some of mine." I whine knowing full well both Victor and Joaquin are watching with interest. When I'm with Brittany I can't seem to help myself though, I just do what comes naturally. I'm _that_ type of girl when I'm in love, I almost don't believe it.

"Yeah, but you offered, I didn't, you just stole my fry." She does her pout and I know I've lost.

"Fine, you want me to apologize?"

"Nope, just tell everyone in the room you have the most awesome girlfriend in the world."

"Too easy. Yo listen up peoples…my girlfriend is more awesome than yours and any of your future ones. Better?"

Brittany kisses Santana's nose and pops a maple syrup dipped fry in her mouth. Santana continues to smile like an idiot while everyone else flushes at witnessing the two lovers flirt.

Joaquin shakes his head and leans on the counter right in front of the girls. "Jess, you have to come over tonight and tell me about this miracle you have done." A scowl immediately sketches on my face; the problem isn't sharing my friends with Brittany. I'm sure Brittany will win their hearts with one smile. The problem is sharing Brittany with them. I try to convince myself, but I know the real reason I'm tempted to jump on a plane and leave the country if only to avoid an evening with the boys is that introducing Brittany will make her even more permanent in my life and I'm scared. Sometimes when you put too much into one thing, when one person is your whole world and they share every part of your world, it can kill you when it's all ripped away. I don't fear Brittany will leave me, but what if something happens? There won't be a single place I can go that won't have her face etched into it.

"If Anita is ok with it, I'd love to come again this evening." Brittany nudges me. My throat is dry but I manage to say 'maybe.'

I park in front of Cuomo's Lucky Store. The whole way here Brittany's been bursting with how wonderful it will be to meet my friends. I can't give more than few nods as I focus on driving and trying to convince myself that it is a good idea.

I snap the seat belt off and step out into the hot parking lot. "Let's go Britt," I urge and put my hand up to cover my face from the strong light. Brittany closes the door and walks to my side; she instantly takes my limp hand into hers.

"Why are you not excited? Do you not want me to meet your friends?" She whispers near my ear. I keep walking, leading her to the huge store entrance. I don't want to come off as insecure but I don't want to lie to Brittany. "I never said that, let's just shop first ok?"

I'm glad Brittany decides to let it slide for the moment. She squeezes my hand gently as if to say 'I know you'll tell me when you're ready.'

"What's that Britt?"

The moment she drops my hand, she's digging in her purse and producing a folded up note paper.

"It's a list of all the new things we need and I also prepared reasons because, some things you might not want to change." She smiles sheepishly and I can't help but find her hesitation adorable.

"Try me"

We walk down an isle that has a 'towels' sign hanging low from the roof.

"Ok, bath curtain."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's black Santana! And it's a 'real' curtain. People don't use real curtains in the bathroom and especially not black ones."

"That's because my bathroom is emperor size and it's not separating the bath tub from the toilet area it's separating the 'bath' area from the rest of the bathroom."

"It's scary, sometimes when I walk in there I imagine what could be behind the curtain so I pull it real quick - like if I surprise it first then it won't be able to surprise me."

That leaves me kind of stumped.

"Ok, maybe we'll change that."

I watch Brittany put a grinning smiley next to it.

"What else is there? Napkins?" We've reached the napkin section that pretty much has every design under the sun.

"Right, at least we agree on the napkins."

Brittany starts looking at the higher shelves as I scan the lower ones.

"Britt, I'm going to look over there. I can only see old lady flower design ones." I walk to another section that display plain napkins in so many shades I can't even name them all. Another shelf catches my eye; the napkins are engraved with initials from 'A' to 'Z'. There's also a pack of brochures on the rack with the lame catch phrase "make dinner memorable", printed on the top.

Inside the brochure are some sample engravings. They have colors to choose from, gold, silver, maroon, aqua, florescent, and the list goes on.

"Hey, San." I look up to see Brittany standing in front of me rocking back and forth, heel, toe, heel, toe. She bites her lip and takes a deep breath. "Ok, so tell me which one." From behind her back she shows me five samples; it takes me five seconds to know I don't like any of them.

"Musical notes? That's uh…creative."

"San, you can tell me if you don't like them." Brittany drops her hands, the motion moves all the way to her shoulders.

I let out a sigh knowing it'll probably be easier to give in to Brittany's pout and drooped shoulders than convince her pink polka-dots and Tweety napkins will make dinner look so wrong.

"How about we get two sets Britt, one for dinner with other people and one for dinner that's just us?" I hope my compromise will be enough for Brittany, I just can't imagine having dinner with friends and picking up a yellow-bird printed napkin to wipe my mouth with.

"I like this one," she separates a napkin with a flamingo standing in purple grass from the others. It's a kid's napkin, I know, but it's not half bad – most of it is a creamy white and I can live with a little pink and purple at the bottom.

"Let's get it."

Brittany smiles in response and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before she runs off shouting, 'I'll help you find some other people napkins.'

I secretly like the idea of having engraved napkins even though it is cheesy. Gold letters on olive green would look nice. I walk to the shelf with all the shades and choose a green I like, holding the brochure up to compare the gold sample against the cloth color.

"I like it." Brittany whispers over my shoulder. She rests her chin there and extends her hand to touch the cloth. "It's smooth too, but I like that it's also a bit fuzzy and also soft."

"I was thinking about putting our initials on it in fancy gold lettering. What do you think?" I turn my head so I can see her work out the pro's and cons. Her eyes shift from the gold on the paper to the napkin in my hand.

"It's great San, but can the napkins be blue?"

"Blue with gun-metal gray engravings?"

"Perfect."

I like how we work together so well and I'm all the more convinced this is the person I'm supposed to discuss napkins, computers, conspiracy theories and everything else with.

Brittany's list is inexhaustible. And by the end I'm completely worn out.

Bed-spread

"Guns and roses"

"Birds and Bees"

"Paper, scissor, rocks"

"I win"

"Britt, anything but birds, please?"

Bath-robes

"We have towels Britt"

"But in China they had silk robes that are super comfortable, and like, they slip off super easy too"

"You have a Chinese concubine kink? Really Britt?"

"They can be pajamas too for when we get lazy to change –that's practical right?"

Door handles

"I feel like I have to pray before I turn the ones you have now, they look so weird and sacred"

"You can't be serious, they came with the house and I never thought that"

"Who knows? They probably attract ghosts or maybe the ancestors of the people who used to live here now live in those door handles"

"Is that actually possible?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Vases

"I'm allergic to flowers"

"That's a lie San"

"But vases are so homey; it's like what my grandmother's home would have. All the flowers would die anyways due to my intentional neglect and your forgetfulness"

"Remind me to get plastic plants on our way out then"

"Now that's just pathetic. Plastic plants are for people who can't carry out the simple responsibility of having real ones"

"You just described us San"

"Fine, we get vases and real flowers"

Sausage pillow

"Is that your way of saying you don't want to snuggle with me, a perfectly soft, warm human being?"

"No, it's for sex. You know when we have it or when I give it to you – I think leverage is the right word to explain when you…"

"Got it Britt"

"And maybe a little cuddling"

"If that thing starts replacing me, I'm kicking it out. Or if you know, we're being wild in bed; it might end up on the floor too"

"I'm fine with that as long as you don't be mean on purpose and kick it out for no reason"

"Britt, it's a pillow"

"It still has feelings"

"No it doesn't"

"Ever heard of pillow talk? If they can talk they have feelings"

"Have it your way"

We've been shopping for three hours. It feels like that day I took Brittany shopping in the market and covered way more area than was necessary, except today there was still more to go.

"How much more to go? I need some coffee." I lean my head against a shelf and watch strand of something dangle in front of my eyes.

"We can have a break after we get this partition, it'll be faster if you help me choose." Brittany points to two that she likes, "Shells or Disco balls?"

"Indian beads,"

"Fine, you are so unoriginal" Brittany has a helper wrap one up.

"I know, but one of us has to keep our house from turning into a 'strange artifacts' museum"

"And that's why I love you"

Brittany steals a kiss then grabs my hand, pulling me along the isle towards the cashier.

I have my eyes set on the Starbucks the minute the bar codes start getting scanned.

* * *

><p><strong>More fluff to come. They deserve it after all the drama<strong>

**R & R**


	22. The Bar

Chapter 21

One has to wonder how someone as fit and capable as I am is failing at shopping. I didn't do it much was my excuse, but I need a new one. Brittany's running laps around me, my legs are already giving way after the coffee break we had. I just hate shopping.

"Britt, can we get bagels? I'm hungry again." I stop pushing the cart, leaving it motionless in the center of the isle. There's no one else looking at ironing boards right now besides the two of us, well, Brittany is I'm just keeping up.

"You have to help me with this San! I don't which size to get. Like, is this one too tall for you?" I want to say I don't care but that would hurt Brittany's feelings, she's trying so hard. The two ironing boards she's presenting like surfboards look practically the same in design and size. How Brittany even knows there's a difference surprises me.

"The left," I say, choosing the board that is slightly smaller. I may have the ability but I'm too lazy to pull out something hefty, so the smaller the better. "Why do we even need one? I have dry cleaning service. I can't even remember the last time I ironed something."

The look on Brittany's face is stern as she puts the bigger board back and puts the smaller one in our now overflowing cart. It'll be a miracle if it still rolls.

"San, what home doesn't have an ironing board? Wait, do you even have an iron?"

I think really hard, I had one once but I'm not sure where it is.

"You don't, do you."

I smile sheepishly and look at Brittany. I just know what's next on the list.

By the time we get home I'm completely worn out. Brittany seems hardly affected by the long hours of walking up and down the aisle. She was even the one to haul everything into the cart and out of the car. The stuff lay piled in the living room as I plop onto the couch, my eyes heavy. I was going to run, after having three cups of coffee and a dozen bagels I really should but sleep and aching feet were winning the battle.

"Awww, look at you. All tired from a shopping trip. Don't worry San; I'll take care of the stuff. You just rest."

"Thanks," I reply, grateful Brittany isn't asking me to pitch in. If she did I know I'd be on my feet in an instant.

I woke up to the clattering of something. It was dark, I wondered how many hours I'd slept. Another noise from upstairs jolted me to action. Where was Brittany? What was happening?

My feet dragged up the stairs in automatic motion, everything was dark, and the sun had set so I couldn't see anything anyways.

"Britt? Are you up here?"

"Bathroom," I heard her voice echo. There were three bathrooms upstairs but it sounded like it was coming from mine, well, ours now. Brittany had stopped sleeping in the guest room altogether and I wasn't complaining. I liked to feel her warmth pressed against my back at night, erasing the memories of empty cold sheets.

The lights weren't so bright in my room. My eyes adjusted easily and my gaze moved upward to the lights Brittany had replaced. Right, we had bought 'bedroom' lights as Brittany had said, they gave the room a sexy feel or so I thought until I looked at my bed that was perfectly made. There was an extra bulge in the center of the insect patterned bedding. It should have made my insides queasy but the fact that it looked so homey…so, Brittany, made my stomach flutter instead.

"Hey babe, did I wake you up? I accidently dropped the shower rod, then I slipped on the plastic packaging and it fell again, sort of on me too the second time." Brittany huffs, obviously spent from improving my…no…our home.

"I'm sorry baby; I wish I had helped you. You should have waited or you could have woken me up, I feel bad for sleeping for so long and letting you do all the work." Brittany's eyes shine through her tiredness, she wipes her brow and tucks some strands of blond hair behind her ear, "I wanted to do it for you because you bought all this stuff and I know you don't even like half of it."

"That's not true," I chuckle, "I just like to be stubborn."

"Well, that is true." Brittany agrees. I nod, completely owning up to the character flaw. "I'm hungry." She says as she washes her hands clean. "What do you want to order?" I say while admiring how the new beaded partition gives the bathroom a more natural and spacious look. I run my fingers through the beads to see how easily they part, then check out how much you can see through to the other side while the beads still.

"Did you say something?" I ask, remembering that Brittany hadn't answered my question or I was too enthralled by the colors of the new partition that I totally missed her response.

"I was just thinking, and I'm not pressuring you or anything but uhhh…." Brittany always gets like this when she's about to say something I won't like or won't agree to without her pulling a pout or giving me a long winded convincing speech. I cock my eyebrow, waiting for her come out with it.

"You know, your friends would probably love it if you spent the evening with them and I kind of want to meet them too." She says shyly, avoiding eye contact only to steal small glimpses at my reaction.

"You want to eat at the bar?"

"If it's ok with you of course. As I said, no pressure I just think it's a good idea. I'll even be the designated driver."

That last part was pretty convincing, I hadn't drunk since that night Brittany came back and I did miss my friends. The problem was I knew in the back of my mind that something would happen tonight and not necessarily something I liked. I don't like things I can't control and my friends were the type of wild crowd no one could hold even with a leash.

"Ok, let's do this." I hope I don't regret tonight, maybe I won't remember it if I get enough alcohol in my system.

"Yes!" Brittany hops up and down then dashes out of the bathroom to find something to wear. "You can test out the new shower curtain first," I hear her say; her voice is muffled probably because she's head deep between the rack of clothes in the closet.

I finish showering and walk out with my towel wrapped around my midsection. The new partition worked splendidly, the warm beads felt nice against my wet skin and it caused a tingling sensation every time it brushed a new spot of damp flesh.

Brittany doesn't say a word as she walks past me into the bathroom. She leaves the door open. I can the water hitting the bottom of the tub as I dry myself and find a comfortable shirt to wear with a pair of corduroy pants. I throw a jacket on for good measure knowing the temperature will drop in a few minutes. I glance at Brittany's outfit laid out on the bed and try to imagine her in the plaid shirt and jeans ripped at the knees, maybe she wants to fit in more, be one of the guys tonight. Whatever her motives, I'm sure she'll get along; I don't doubt it one bit.

When the shower turns off I head towards the dresser on the other side of the room to apply some light blush and lip-gloss, also so it doesn't look like I was waiting for Brittany to come out and watch her get dressed. I try my best not to look at her through the reflection in the mirror. It's not that hard because she gets dressed pretty quickly and does her hair up in a simple bun letting some stray hairs grace the sides of her face.

"You ready?" she asks and I nod, take her hand and lead her out.

The bar seems extra packed tonight. A host of motorbikes park in neat rows in front of the bar. I can tell by the extra work done on them that these aren't ordinary visitors or even tourists, it's like the gang brought their extended acquaintances' to some event. What event? Me? I was hardly anything exciting, maybe it was Brittany. It has to be, they're all excited to finally meet the girl about whom I'd drunkenly talked about, whined about and pined for.

"You're going to be a celebrity when you walk through those revolving doors Britt." I hold her hand and squeeze it more for my sake than hers. She doesn't look one bit nervous as she beams a genuine smile at me. All the nerves are on me tonight.

"I think they're just waiting for the return of their star," Brittany replies and gives me a peck on the cheek. I close my eyes for a split second then push through the doors.

I hear the squeak of the un-oiled hinges, then I hear the low mutter of small talk coming from the tables, then closer to the bar I hear the clinking of glasses and an order for 'another.'

I hear all these things separately. It's like nothing I've experienced before. The only that is constant is the grip on my hand so that I don't float away.

"You came! The boys won't be disappointed tonight and I think someone just won 200 Euro's." Joaquin pulls me into a hug and gives me a broad smile. "Come on, let's get you started." He hands me two shots and watches me throw them back. The sting in my throat feels good and familiar; it usually marks the start of a good evening. He greets Brittany with equal enthusiasm and hands her two cups identical to mine. She throws them back like a pro and Joaquin lets out a hearty laugh. "You'll fit in perfectly," He says, "Now get on over to the table, you've got some catching up to do, I think Lenny is already wasted."

'The table' is a line of six tables smashed together at the heads. It's able to seat about forty men. From the looks of it tonight, it's already full and overflowing.

"If it isn't the Anita Cappella back from dungeon of dragons," An unshaven man with a raised beer mug hollers over the noise of conversation. Lenny is most definitely already drunk.

The rest of the table's attention shifts to her and the girl she has in tow. Her grip on Brittany's hand grows tighter.

"It hasn't been that long now has it?" She greets 'the gang'. Two of the guys get up from their seats and making an inviting motion for the two girls to sit down. Two beers are promptly placed in front of them.

"Long enough for us to ride around the peninsula," says one friend, Timothy, nick-named Timo.

"Long enough for you to pick up this hot chick," says Mathius, a brilliant engineer who could upgrade any automobile or bike with the trashiest parts, but not brilliant enough to keep a savings account and keep out of debt.

All eyes go to Brittany who just took a swig of beer and opens her eyes in wonder; she wipes her mouth and trails her fingers down her neck to make sure she's not dripping or anything.

I feel introductions are in order, "Everyone, this is Jess, you know _the girl_."

A series of "oh's" and "the girl" erupt along the table.

Brittany leans into me a bit as I recite the menu. "What are they talking about? Are they talking about me?"

"Yeah," I reply and throw daggers at every single guy with a grin on his face. Most of them are staring at Brittany, not in the lustful way just in the 'putting a face to the person' sort of way.

"We've heard lots about you," Timo leans over Brittany's shoulder from behind. He takes another swig of beer. You're her taser."

"Taser?" Brittany looks across the table at the smirking men, then up and down. They all seem to know what Timo is talking about. She turns to me and I feel my face heat up even more then what the beer has done.

"You don't know what a Taser is?" Mathius asks as he hustles the serving boy through the wall of backs and shoulders. He arranges the food in front of Santana and Brittany one plate at a time, introducing them as if they were delicacies. Brittany has to agree though, any food said in Italian tongue sounds appealing.

"I know what a taser is but I don't know what you mean." Her eyes shine innocent and inquisitive. Not wanting to answer, I begin scooping up the hot mushroom soup. In my haste I scald my tongue.

Anthony, the good looking player constantly picking girls up for a one night fantasy and disappearing as such speaks up when no one else is interested in enlightening her. "You're her taser, meaning you're both good and bad for her. It stings and leaves you shocked but it can protect a person and give them a feeling of safety. That's what you do. Don't worry, everyone's got their taser and I'm glad to have met Anita's." He sends Santana a smile and a wink. "I think you could be many peoples taser."

"Enough already," I slam my open palm onto the table, it resonates a loud smack. "Guy's let me introduce to you, properly, Jess….Jess. My girlfriend.

Clapping begins and someone hollers for more beer, "We need to celebrate! Mission accomplished!" A few rowdy guys give me heavy pats on the shoulders that feel more like they're using me to support their drunken frames.

Brittany begins digging into her roast chicken wing while listening to the boys tell story after story about "Anita." She knows though that everything they say is referring to me – her Santana. Brittany steals constant glances at me, she makes me feel like I am much more than a capable agent. The stories jab at my pride, sure, but I take it all in stride – not once did I get mad. These people matter to me, they've been my family when I had none and now Brittany is here and it's perfect. The most important person, piece of the puzzle, my taser and my heart is by my side, drunk with me and my family of misfit men – it's just so perfect.

Brittany looks at me like she's never been prouder and has never admired me more than in this moment. She whispers a soft I love you.

By this time we were well into their fourth bottles and had a few celebration shots.

The guys had certainly warmed up to Brittany. She had a circle of men dancing around her while the local radio station played the top forty singles in America.

I felt the light sting of jealousy when Brittany would take turns dancing with each man. The way she held their hands or spun into them wasn't sexual or misleading at all, they were just having fun. I realized that I was never going to like anyone else touching her.

"Parties up people," I make my way towards the dance floor, head weighty and managing only to put one foot in front of the other unsteadily. I search for Brittany's hand and when I'm sure I've got the right one I drag her back to the table. She decides to sit on my lap even though there are perfectly good chairs.

"You're warm and comfy," she whispers in my ear and lets her tongue wind in and out my ear. There is no way we aren't going home tonight and fucking, the things she does to me. The way she pants besides me has me imagining her under me as I show her who she really belongs to. I shouldn't be having these thoughts in the middle of dinner with friends.

"Anita, you haven't told us your story!" Joaquin chimes as he sits down tired from working. The bar has slowly emptied out as the hours became later and later.

Things had calmed down, there were a few people passed out in various places. The couches made good beds for drunken men. Victor behind the bar, cleaning up, looked towards the table every now and then but especially now that Joaquin had brought up the untold story.

"Is it the one about the snake San….ita?" Brittany fakes a hiccup and checks to see if anyone caught on to her slip up. They mostly have blank faces and are looking at each other figuring out if they had heard the same thing.

I clear my throat to break the silence, "they mean our story Jess."

"We have lots of stories; oh let me tell the one where the lawnmower almost ate you and I saved you from it."

"They meant the story of how we met."

Timo shouts, "Let's hear the lawnmow'n one first." The others encourage Brittany and all I can do is hide my face in her hair.

"It's not that bad really," Brittany begins in such a cliché fashion, "she tried her best, she just couldn't out run it." She begins giggling to herself, no doubt picturing me running for my life. I remember it too; it was one of the worst memories I've ever had. To this day I make sure I'm locked in the safety of my room with the windows locked when the gardeners come over, I mean, who knows if those things can fly these days?

"I should start at the beginning though," Brittany regains her focus after seeing the still clueless faces surrounding her.

"See, Anita was never a really good girl at school. I mean she's good _at school_ cus' she's really smart but she wasn't good at school. If something bad happened, the first person to get the blame was always Tata."

I cringe at the nickname; Brittany is really drunk out of her mind and so am I otherwise this shame fest wouldn't be happening.

"One day they found the boys locker full of whipped crème, seriously it was everywhere. In the showers, in the lockers, on the workout equipment, in the shoes – I thought Willy Wonka was making a new whipped crème factory in there. Anyways, the …uh…Principle had everyone questioned and the school committee decided it could only be two people, Tata and another friend…enemy…well she was my friend but her enemy so I don't know what to call her. I'll just call her N for nameless."

Brittany looks around to make sure they're following. I've been watching all along how she's got their attention, most don't even dare to blink. I wonder how tonight became 'humiliate Lopez night'.

"N got some people to testify she was sick when it happened so Tata was blamed. I know you didn't do it…and I told… I really did but no one believed me." She turns to me wearing an apologetic face.

"It's fine," I say and give a small kiss to her shoulder then nod for her to continue. The sooner it's over the better.

"Ok, so her punishment was to mow the whole football field. I offered to help push because you know it's kind of like plowing a field but with a mower instead of a buffalo. She didn't want me to help of course so then I offered to do cheerleading practice for her, but she said that'd distract her and she'd never get it done. So I had nothing to do but watch. I actually wish I had my video camera on me because it was really funny, it would have made top video in youtube's 'funniest video' competition."

A few snickers go round the tables but I keep focusing on Brittany's hands patting and stroking mine.

"She started the lawnmower alright but it was really loud and that's when it got funny. Even on the bleachers I covered my ears so it must have sounded like a bomb had gone off down there, I saw her cover her ears and that's when it took off…in her direction. I don't know why, but this one had the switch in the front so it charged right at her. Now Tata is a fast runner, almost as fast as me but it got the upper-hand you know, cus Tata didn't know it was coming till it was on her heel. It got her shoelace, she tried to pull it out while keeping ahead of it but it kept eating and eating till the shoelace was almost gone. Then she got smart and took off her sneaker but then her skirt got caught while she bent down and well, after that it just looked like she was riding an angry red monster. She was screaming the whole time, and I was screaming whole the time."

"You were laughing and not being any help." I say like I always do when she tells this story hoping after long enough she'll feel some sort of guilt but Brittany just slaps her hand on the table along with Timo, both red in the face.

"I did help! When I came to, I flew down the stands and ran for her. I jumped and grabbed her off the mower like we had practiced, remember?"

A few eyebrows shoot up and I cock my head to let Brittany know that usually cheerleaders don't go pouncing at people on moving contraptions.

"We were practicing to be second string on the football team?" She scans the faces for understanding but they remain as confused as ever. "Well anyways, we tumbled around the grass and finally stopped. She was on top of me still screaming my name, not the way you all think. That comes way later and not in this story."

There were laughs all around. Leave it to Brittany to say something suggestive without intending to.

"Lots of people came out to see what happened and they totally thought we were getting it on because she was on top of me, screaming, and wearing no skirt."

I could feel my face heat up as I buried my face further into Brittany's neck.

Brittany was having a blast with her story telling, especially when her audience was so receptive and responsive.

"I bet she had a nice ass. Still does actually, if only she was interested in us men-folk." Mathius spoke up and slammed another shot glass on the table.

I gave him a pointed stare and said, "gross."

"Actually someone did say that, and Tata got real mad. She totally was going to kick the guy in the balls for leering cus she hates that, not the guys, the leering – back then she liked guys. You're kind of too late Mathius."

"I'm always too late," he says, miserable at the bad luck.

"Yeah, so she marched right up to him and more people started to laugh. Like instead of cheering the stadium was bursting with giggles. She _was_bottomless after all but she had on her sexy underwear. I didn't laugh, I thought she looked super fine. Anyways that guy got kicked in the balls."

I smirk at the memory of kneeing Puck in goons. "And that's the end of the story," I say.

"No it's not." Brittany whines.

"You don't have to tell the rest."

"See there's more cus you said _the rest_"

"Please?"

"Ok, I'll just say it really quick." Brittany takes a noticeably large breath and before I can stop her she's telling the last bit of the tale. I just cover my eyes and pray tomorrow no one remembers.

"She got him in the goons and then realized she didn't have anything covering her bottom and that's why everyone was laughing at her. She then stomped down to the lawnmower and ripped her shredded skirt from its bare teeth and gave it a kick which happened to turn it in her direction again and the chase continued. Of course she was more prepared this time so she climbed up onto the stands in time to escape its evil jaws. By then everyone was laughing again but she was such a champ. She told them all to shut the fuck up because she actually had a good looking ass and that she wouldn't have been able to stand seeing the stretch-mark bearing butts of anyone else at school if they had their clothes eaten by the evil lawnmower. The end."

"Yep, and we're going home now, thanks for the beer." I announce and try to stand up but Brittany's weight on my lap keeps me seated.

"Now you have to tell a story Anita," Brittany says and everyone else chants. She really knows how to get a crowd going, one of her many talents.

"Fine," I say and try to think how to best tell such an epic story. "Jess and I we met at school, and we became friends – best friends."

"We were also roommates; she actually didn't like me at first."

"That's not true"

"You liked to roll your eyes at me."

"That's cus I roll my eyes at everybody."

"Are you two going to tell the story?" Joaquin says with a hint of laughter in his voice and in his eyes. He's probably never seen me like this before. If it were someone else I would have already told them to shut up so I could continue.

"Yeah, so we were roommates and I did like her, I just thought she was weird. I was the supreme ruler of that place and may have used some people to get to the top but who doesn't do that right? Jess, she was always there for me, she had my back and I think I underappreciated her a lot back then." I share a meaningful look with Brittany before continuing. Her eyes have gone soft and a smile is forming on her left cheek. "I honestly don't know when it happened but I fell in love with her. It's hard to tell when you fall for your best friends, you don't know when friendship love changes into the soul-mate love ; it just hits you one day out of nowhere. That's what it felt like."

I look around at my audience, captivated by my words. "We never talked about it, our friendship turned into a very different relationship that I can't label. We were just afraid to say what we both already knew, and maybe then it was enough…you know, just to have the knowledge." In the corner of my eye I see Victor staring at Brittany and me like we stepped out of a storybook of epic love. It is epic to say the least; it'd be story worth writing.

"That lasted until the day we graduated," I remember everything so clearly. The last night together and the missed opportunity were molded into my brain. It was the thing keeping me going for all those years till the day I found Brittany again. "And then I didn't see her for years, ten years to be exact. But I found her again. I never stopped loving her. All those years, the other people – they did nothing to put out the desire to find her again. I had to because I couldn't die without telling her how I felt. And I found her. End of story."

Some people were clearly moved to tears, others had stiff faces not knowing how to react. I took a shot and winced when it slid down my throat. I left out the unhappy parts of the story, the crying, the hate missions, the nights of drinking, and all the self-harm. I hadn't even told Brittany those parts.

"Jess, were you looking for Anita too?" Victor says with steel in his eyes. I know it stems from his inability to see me hurt; he's seen me so many times on my not so best nights here at Bar Ercolano.

"She doesn't have to answer that." I quickly say, feeling the tension in the room increase by the second. They'd heard so much about my feelings for Brittany and my fears of losing her, my unfounded fears of Brittany never loving me again.

"No, I can answer," Brittany returns with a strong voice and unwavering eyes. "I was doing my best but I was in a bad situation."

"She was fucking sick," I raise my voice, angry at them for judging Brittany. My reasoning told me they were just looking out for me but I couldn't stand them looking at Brittany like that, blaming her for the nights I drank till I passed out and they had to haul me to the back bedroom. "She still is but she's getting better. Cut her some slack." This time I shove till Brittany stands up and I stand along with her. "We're going home."

Joaquin swiftly intervenes, "no you can't; I won't let you go home like this. Sleep in the back room tonight. Please."

Since Brittany was our designated driver and she's as drunk as I am, I take the offer and without another word drag Brittany to the back room.

"Well, you boys really did it." I can hear Joaquin scold the gang. He tells them the party is over before we even got to celebrate and that they should all get their drunken asses home. Whoever is found here unwanted tomorrow will be dumped out on the front street to awaken from the sound of tires burning on the road.

"San, don't be mad at them." Brittany whispers in an attempt to calm me down. I can feel the beginning of a headache, "They didn't know." Without attempting to answer, I stop and open the right door.

My feet keep walking until they hit the made bed in the spare room. I flop down tired and feel Brittany land on the bed beside me. Warm hands wrap around my stomach as she curls into my arms.

"Britt," I whisper into the darkness, eyes about to close. "If you weren't sick, would you have…," the words die on my lips.


	23. What we want

**I know, I made everyone wait super long again. So sorry about that. **

**Last week I was traveling and then I got sick. This week I'm on holiday with my family so I'll try to write quicker.**

**Thank you for your continuous support, whether it be reviews, alerts, or favorites. You are awesome.**

**Also thank you Nikki2213, my beta**

* * *

><p>Chapter 22<p>

I don't think my head can hurt more than it does now. I grip both sides of my head in an attempt to get the pain to stop, but it's inside eating my brain like a virus and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Britt, get up, I can't move." I say, shoving her aside and sitting up. I swear this is the last time I'm getting wasted.

"Morning," Victor greets, his eyes lingering a little too long.

"Get me some Advil," I snap, "And water or juice, anything that's not alcohol."

He runs off to do as I say. After he's gone, I look down at my boy-shorts and wife-beater that I was wearing under my street clothes. They are rather revealing I admit but I don't feel like apologizing for my mood.

Brittany follows out dressed in the same manner. "My head hurts San," she murmured and laidher head on my shoulder.

When Victor comes out to lay my order down, he sees Brittany in the same state and silently asks if he should bring more water and Advil. "What are you waiting for?" I saidimpatiently and gulped down the pill.

"San," Brittany warns but I just shrug her off my shoulder.

"Not in the mood."

I get dressed quickly and grab the keys to my car. "You coming baby?" I call out.

Brittany is laughing with Joaquin behind the counter and learning how to mix a fruity concoction. It's as if she hadn't been drinking at all last night.

"When are you going to be done?" I ask

"Sorry Joaquin, the Missus wants to go home now." Brittany apologizes and follows me out the door.

"Really, Brittany?" I put on my seatbelt. "You can stay if you want. "

Brittany straps in and asks if I want her to drive. I'm too lazy to move out of my seat.

"I was joking San," Brittany touches my arm and moves up to my hair. She tries to talk to me the whole fifteen minutes home but her voice makes my head hurt more.

In the house I throw my keys in the bowl then walk straight to the kitchen to get more Advil and water. Last night was really bad.

"San, why aren't you talking to me?" Brittany marches in behind me and spins me around, pressing me to the counter.

My head burns and my eyes sting. The small force of my back hitting the edge causes me to reel.

"What's your problem Brittany? Not everyone wakes bright and cheery like you." I shout knowing I shouldn't have, but the only thing I can focus on is not fainting.

After a few moments I get a grip on the situation and even though my head hurts I can think better. The Advil really kicked in.

I feel Brittany's grip on me slack. There's a shift in my vision and Brittany is gone.

Making my way upstairs, there is no sign of Brittany. I blink and see the bland walls. Again and thousand dollar paintings welcome me home. The last time I close my eyes they don't see anything as I let my body drop onto the bed.

There's something moving across my forehead, cold and soothing with just enough pressure to soak up the sweat and heat. Of course it's Brittany, why would I think otherwise? Maybe because I was dreaming about a time she wasn't with me, when I looked after myself.

I let out a soft moan and a breath, my body rests completely knowing Brittany is by my side. "Where did you go?" I ask her while still focusing on keeping my breathing pace.

"I went for a walk, and to get you soup." She holds up a bowl and mixes its content to cool it.

"Thank you," I say, "but don't leave me like that again. Please?"

"I won't."

It's a new experience being spoon fed like a helpless baby but I don't mind when it's Brittany. She just wants to do her best, and that's always been one of her best qualities. Also she has a heart of gold. I take the final bite and she smiles with pride. With each spoonful her face lightened with hope that I was getting better. I do feel a lot better now.

"What did I do to receive such special treatment?" I hold her hand as she sits beside me in a cushioned chair. We haven't talked much since I woke up.

"For being you," she squeezes my hand.

"I wasn't mad at you, you know?"

"I know. I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion."

"Actually," I say and take a deep breath, "I thought you were mad at me. One minute we were in the kitchen and the next you were gone. I tried to find you on my way to bed but you were nowhere. I thought I had a memory lapse because everywhere I looked reminded me of a time you weren't here. I don't want that Brittany . I can't live like that again."

Brittany strokes my hair and weaves her fingers through my locks. "I'm here now, and I'm not leaving." She says. I know this, but I hate the memories of before that can spring up anytime. It scared me to not see one thing that reminded me of Brittany , I felt lost.

"I think we need to do more shopping." Brittany looks at me inquisitively. "I want everything in this house to remind me of you."

For the next three days Brittany takes care of me. Mike comes over with a small stack of work that I can do in bed to Brittany's disapproval.

Mike and Brittany hit it off right away. The day he came they talked for a long time; she heard her say good bye to him when I woke up from my nap. They both enjoyed things like Michael Jackson and that new dance thingy called C-walking.

Brittany also faithfully stayed by my bedside. She wouldn't let me get out of bed unless it was for a shower, or to use the toilet. While I worked she'd read and timed how long I'd been working, every half an hour she'd make me stop.

When I was on my break, she'd take my glasses off and bring me juice. As entertainment, she'd tell me funny stories of her travels, things I'd never heard before. The more she told me the more I realized how lucky I was to have her. She made sure to tell me only the funny stories; the ones that made me laugh or smile. I wanted to hear the other stories too. I knew life hadn't always been easy; it never is for an agent. The missions were always 50-50 life and death.

I was fine again after being pampered for half a week and really felt like getting back to work. The office is busy as usual but there isn't much for me to do.

Most days I work in the morning and spend the afternoons shopping with Brittany.

Everything we touch becomes ours. I think that's the most exciting thing about changing our house. It won't remind me of the old lady I'd bought it from years ago, or the time before Brittany.

I don't care that some things might not match or that I can't imagine how it will look like in our house, as long as it is ours.

Saturday comes and I don't have to go to work, it doesn't mean I'm not busy. The last thing I remember from the night before is drinking some wine coolers with Brittany; she's also the first person I wake up to at nine in the morning.

It's too early but Brittany insists it's not. She's been up for an hour already and has even brought me breakfast in bed.

The pancakes with maple syrup works, getting me to sit up and take a shower.

Brittany is one step ahead as usual; I can hear some boxes and things being shuffled about downstairs.

I get dressed in comfortable jean shorts and a T-shirt, torn at the sleeves and with the words rebellion spray-painted in multiple colors. Those were the days I'd just gotten out of Millenicon and was on my hate streak. I don't have many remains from that time.

After three hours half the things are in there proper places. Brittany tells me to stay off my feet and relax while she makes tuna sandwiches. But when do I ever listen? Lately she's been such a good housewife, not that I asked her to but she's been trying to do everything she can while we wait to get her official papers.

Working with Brittany is fun. She hooks up her music player to the sound system and we dance around putting things where they belong. Brittany tells me music inspires creativity, it's hard for me to agree but I have faith in Brittany's words and the music does make the time go faster. Besides, it brings out Brittany's fun-loving side, I could watch her do her thing for days. Home Decorating became a dance to her and I was a spectator, appreciating her grace and poise as she moved around a box or side-stepped a vase with a one-two twirl.

The next day I get some guys at the office to help assemble and move some of the bigger pieces of furniture. Mike and his team of body-building boys get everything done by lunch which doesn't surprise me since Brittany's been in command mode while still being the perfect host. Those boys wouldn't be smiling and having a good time if I was in charge, there are just some things better left to your other half.

By Sunday night the house looks transformed. The old furniture and decorations have been placed in the garage, waiting to be sold.

Now when I walk through the house all I can think about is how much fun it was to recreate it. I think of Brittany telling me where things should go with very logical reasons even though to me art is subjective. But Brittany's got a good eye so I let her decide.

We decorated the spare rooms too, at first I thought we could leave them alone because no one would be using them but then Brittany brought up the topic of 'one day.'

She had said one day when we have little monsters the rooms had to be changed anyways so we might as well make it kid friendly now. I was kind of shocked at how far she was projecting but I didn't have the power to say no.

Now when I look in those rooms I think about what she said. The rooms aren't decorated like they were made for children per-say but they did look a bit more modern, soft patterns covered the bed-spreads, the bed, desk and cupboard looked much more homey and well, I could imagine Beth living in a room like this. All that was missing was the toys and other things that accompanied children.

Lying in bed with Brittany is my favorite time of the day. We don't have to do anything; I usually read a magazine and arrange my schedule for the next day now that more of Rachel Berry's work has found its way to my desk – something about clients getting heart palpitations when in her presence. I'm not surprised, for all her enthusiasm and desire to reach out she is not a people person.

Brittany on the other hand watches the late night shows. Or sometimes if the guest isn't interesting she watches animal planet and tells me how much information I could get from watching it instead of reading about the latest nuclear negotiations between China and Russia .

Right now I catch her smiling to herself when she sees an owner and his cute puppy playing in a ball pool and I think maybe she wants a dog or a cat, something to keep her company now that I stay at the office longer.

"Do you want one?" I ask and it takes her by surprise. I take my glasses off and put them down on the side table along with my journal.

"You mean a puppy? I don't know, we won't have time to take care of it."

"But you're home all the time," I argue.

"Not for long. When I get my ID I'm going to be working remember?"

I hadn't thought of that. The appointment with Carl, my connection, is actually tomorrow; I haven't told Brittany yet.

"But I'd love to one day," Brittany says as she looks at me with all the hope in the world for the future. And she's at it again with 'one day'.

It's been bugging me for a few days now and I really need to talk about it. Brittany looks at me strangely when I abruptly turn off the television.

"What do you mean by one day Britt?" I begin my approach wary that this conversation could be uncomfortable and could go completely wrong. "You keep saying it and I'm not sure I understand. Sometimes I think you mean these things are going to happen just around the corner and it's exciting and scary…a little bit."

"It can be as soon as we're ready San," Brittany snuggles into my chest, having her close to me always makes me more relaxed.

"I just don't want to assume things. We haven't talked about this much, I understand we've only reestablished our relationship but when you say things like one day we're going to have kids, or one day you'll make a great mom. I don't know if you really mean these things and I don't know if I should be preparing for something to happen, if they are going to happen. It's just a something that's important to me and I don't want to get my hopes up that's all."

Brittany listens quietly to me till I'm done. I'm scared I'm making a bigger deal about the future than I should be. "Ok, how about this." She finally says, "Close your eyes and tell me what you see happening to us."

I look at her for confirmation that she really wants me to do this, imagining a future with someone is a big step.

She smiles warmly, encouraging me to close my eyes.

"Well, ideally when the time is right, we'll get married. I'll propose of course because it feels right."

I crack an eye open to see Brittany's reaction, she's closing her eyes too and smiling. It's almost a smirk as if she's thinking about beating me to asking for her hand in marriage.

"I'll have worked long enough at the IA to get promoted to a top spot so we'll have tons of money and security. I'll be able to make my own schedules and you just know they'll be flexible because I'll always be available for you."

"Then we'd have lots of time for dates and things. We could fly out to romantic places and spend the night, go shopping, get our nails done, eat at the best places and do anything you want to do."

Brittany interrupts, "And what do I do? Stay at home and cook for you? I don't think you'll like micro waved food for dinner all the time."

"Of course not baby. You'll be doing whatever you love, I can't really say for sure but I'm thinking selling stuff online and making a fortune. Maybe selling information that you're not supposed to, that's naughty and sort of hot; also super secretive so you wouldn't ever have to be in real danger again."

Brittany chuckles. She probably thinks I'm being silly.

"Maybe after a while we could try to have a kid. I'm sure there's technology somewhere in this day and age that can help us procreate. Either you'd carry or I'd carry but I'm thinking you would be better because we…I wouldn't want our kid to turn out like me."

"Don't say that," Brittany responds quietly, "if our kid turned out like you, that'd be the best thing in the world."

Those simple words take my breath away. How can Brittany see so much in me when I hardly see anything in myself?

"Keep going San, its turning out really good." Brittany brings me back.

"Right, so it won't matter who carries only that when we have our kid he or she is going to be perfect because he or she will be ours. I don't know yet which gender, but any is fine I guess."

"Or we could just have two kids," Brittany says simply, problem solved.

"I didn't think…"

"That I'd want two kids?"

"Yeah."

"San, I want as many kids with you as we can handle."

"So, you're not even like having second thoughts? You actually want this?" I don't mean to cry but the tears begin crawling down my cheeks. It doesn't seem real because all my life I've just wanted a family. Having my family torn apart during my teen years left me bitter and angry with the world.

I only ever wanted to be loved. I know my parents loved me even if they didn't show it all the time, I remember all the times we spent together as a family. They were my best memories and also the most painful. Never did I think it'd be possible for me to have that same type of love again. But Brittany made it sound so easy, like it was actually possible.

"Hey, Baby don't cry," Brittany smoothes over my eyes with her thumb to clean off the tears. "We're just getting to the good part where we start a family. I love how you have such an open heart. It's so big you're able to not only fit me, and your billion friends but also some mini you and me's. So are you going to tell me the rest?"

It takes me a few seconds to calm down and continue. "We'll have one boy and one girl. He'll be a big brother to her and make sure she never gets hurt when we're not watching. But that won't happen often because you and I will take super good care of them and we'll both be fun moms'. The family vacations will be epic and super tiring but at the end of the day when we all crash I'll take a picture of my family so I'll remember it always."

"And we'll frame it," Brittany chimes in. It's been her thing lately, replacing the old paintings in the house with ones of us, not that there are many. I can see our house full of pictures, all the kids' firsts, family outings, you and me growing old together, our kids becoming teenagers and all the holidays.

"Our kids would be geniuses because hello, genes. I can just imagine how happy it'll be for us to live a normal life. We'll finally put this hunting game to rest and we'll be able to be us, no fake names, or hiding in secret."

"One day we'll have that," Brittany whispers.

It's the last thing I hear as I get lost in the images of a different life that may or may not happen one day. It's not the same as having my parents returned to me but I'm older now and it's not them I need in the physical, but I need something to give me a sense of belonging. The mere possibility of having a family once more gives me strength to keep dreaming and hoping.

The next day Brittany comes running with me like she has for the past week.

It's our new routine; we do a few miles on the beach while having our iPods in sync. This way we can share our latest music interests and talk about them to each other. Most of my music and hers don't mesh but it's ok because I love her explanations on different artist's history. She's amazingly accurate with details and has a good memory. Brittany also likes to make fun of my music because it's so opposite to her happy, beat pumping dance music.

She says my songs make her depressed and want to drown in the ocean. One time she acted that out and I got so scared she'd actually do that I dove in after her to save her only to be laughed at and called silly.

It's a good routine which enables me to spend time with her before I go to work. It also puts me in a better mood for the day when I'm in the office.

Today though, I cancelled at the office. I told Mike I had some important paperwork to do but that he could drop off any important files at my house in the evening. He seemed happy about the arrangement, which also meant he'd get the chance to talk with Brittany again. Those two hit it off from the first day they met.

"So, this is the place?"

"The place for this time." I reply as I watch Brittany step out onto the street dressed in a large, thick coat that covers all the way to her knees and is met there by tall leather boots. She wears dark sunglasses over her eyes.

I step in front of her dressed in similar attire and lead the way through the hotel doors.

As a rule Carl and I never meet at the same place. Most times it's behind an alley or somewhere in conspicuous but today it's not business as usual. Brittany is meeting Carl for the first time so I want it to be someplace nice.

At the counter I pick up the key for room 707 and ignore the receptionists well wishing 'have a nice stay'. I get into the elevator followed by Brittany and press the close button immediately so we are the only ones inside. She likes to get giddy when meeting new people, not because she thinks they won't like her but she's anticipating the good time she'll have making friends with them. I shake my head; really we couldn't be more different.

The door opens to the seventh floor. With so much eagerness Brittany finds the room before I do and stands in front waiting impatiently for me to unlock it.

"San, come on." She hollers that's when the door opens and Brittany's pouncing on the person inside. I hope she was at the right door because explaining Brittany's behavior to a random person would be difficult.

I have nothing to worry about. The moment I step into the room I see Brittany shaking hands with Carl enthusiastically.

"This is a pleasant surprise," He directs towards me with a nod of his head. We stopped shaking hands a long time ago. "It's been a long time since I've met a happy client."

"I'm always happy to see you Carl," I reply taking my sunglasses off and putting them on the table where I know my stuff is.

"No, you're just happy to see the stuff I get you."

"You're right so let's not take any longer than necessary. Carl this is.."

"I know already," Brittany interrupts, "He's Carl and I'm Brittany , we already met. Carl thought he was hearing voices in the hallway so he opened the door. I knew he was the guy the minute I saw him. He looks like a Carl."

My face flushes and I wonder how to explain Brittany to Carl. He doesn't seem bothered in the slightest; on the contrary he's hiding a smile even I have never had the chance to see.

"Now that we all know each other, here's your stuff." He points to the pile of envelops on the table I had been looking at. "There are three sets of ID, I didn't have any with the name Jessica or anything starting with Jess like you requested. Sorry."

I dump the contents of each envelop on the bed and look at the pictures of each woman. They are all tall, blond with blue eyes aged 28 and are Italian citizens.

"That one kind of looks like me," Brittany points to 'Rosa J. Olivier'

"Where do you get such weird names?" I ask Carl while shaking my head. "You don't make any Jessica's but you have Brianna's and Margalina's?"

"You said you needed it ASAP so this is what I brought you. Why are you so picky anyways?" He argues back.

"Maybe because I told everyone that her name is Jess?" I give him a long stare that he returns.

Brittany breaks the tension. "Hey guess, her name is Rosa J. so you know J is for Jess but also Jesus but they don't need to know that. I can still be Jess and also be Rosa if you know what I mean."

"See," Carl points his finger in my face which I swat away. It's the way we work; it's the only way I know how to have any sort of relationship with him that doesn't involve sending him to the other side.

"She's being smart and solving problems not whining like you."

"Oh, come off it. Not like you would have figured that out in two light-years."

"So you want it or not?"

I hand over the money I owe him and stuff the papers for Rosa J. Olivier back into the envelope. In the corner of my eye I can see him counting the money and storing it in his pocket when he's satisfied I've brought the correct amount.

"Till next time," I say and head for the door with the ID safe in my bag. Brittany takes a longer time to say goodbye, she says something about having dinner sometimes which makes me laugh. It's not happening in a million years.

"I feel really good about this," Brittany says excitedly as we walk back to my car. "Now I can do so many things without worrying 'they' will find me."

I know the feeling; it's like starting life with a clean slate. "Welcome back from the underground Rosa J." I laugh while beginning the drive home, still not over the horrible name.

"You can always call me Jess since you like that name so much."

"Nah, now you look like a Rosa ."

"Do not, that name is too pretty. It'd actually suit you better."

"Britt, you are the prettiest girl I've ever met. You're prettier than a Rosa ."

"Well, are we going to agree on something?" Brittany asks exasperated.

"Fine, we'll go with Jess. OK?"

"Ok, great."

"But I'm going to tease the hell out of Rosa when I feel like it." I say with finality. It earns me a hard slap on the arm which is totally worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>Just wanted to know if you think the story is going too slow. I'm not trying to draw it out but I try to make it as detailed as possible without the story being boring. Tell me your thoughts xoxo<strong>


	24. Rachel

**Update y'all! Faster than usual (of late) even though its a little shorter. **

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews and for sticking with the story this far. 22 Chapters and only halfway!**

**Enjoy**

* * *

><p>Chapter 23<p>

"Hey Mike, can I have the file on Zolar?"

"On it," Mike retracts his head poking through the door.

Work has been pretty awesome lately. It feels good to back in my grove. Part of the reason for that is being able to get along with Rachel.

It was at Brittany's insistence that I try and at least be friendly at work after she got text messages from Rachel asking her to tame the monster.

"Here," Mike places the thickening folder on my desk. Mike and I have been doing backup checks on Zolar for a week now. There's something not quite right about a one man business having too much rapid growth without breaking some law – Zolar isn't exactly Apple.

"Thanks," I reply, "I think we should also do a quick check of the Chinese company Zolar dealt with last year. It seems to be significant to the huge growth spurt."

"Sure," Mike jots down my instructions into his i-pad, "Anything else?"

I shake my head.

"Ok, well don't forget you have lunch with Barbra Streep today." I sigh as I watch him leave.

For our weekly lunches, Rachel and I go to the vegan restaurant two blocks from work. I thought I'd hate it at first because who likes vegan food? But it turned out to have some nice dishes. Mostly I stick to salads and a fruit juice, just enough to sustain me for a few hours before I'm off duty and can eat actual food.

"Hey Santana," Rachel grins widely as I take my seat opposite to her. It's a little strange that there's already a plate of food sitting on the plate mat.

"Hi Rachel, where's the menu?" I look around, not seeing one I call over a waiter.

"Wait, I already ordered for you!" She points to the plate of what looks like eggplant mush on top of crisp fried noodles. "This is their new special, it's glorious. Taste it!"

There's no way I'm eating what resembles baby food. "Hi," I say to the waiter when he arrives. Can I get a seafood salad please? And I'd like a kiwi shake."

He takes the order and leaves.

"You know I don't understand this place and its weird specials. This food looks fit for a beggar."

Rachel frowns and I know she wants to cross her arms and be all dramatic about how appearances can be fooling.

"Besides, what restaurant has seafood salad without any actual seafood in it? It's a good thing I can handle the artificial crab sticks." Rachel becomes more and more irritated. She can't burst out in public and she can't exactly express her opinions without bursting, her face is a cross between a squished tomato and an angry bird.

She leans in and whispers in a low threatening voice, "If you can't appreciate my generosity, a simple no thank you will do. It seems as our outings have only made you worse at keeping your comments to yourself. Familiarity is dangerous I hear, especially when you're in a high position. How do I know you won't try to poison me one day?"

I laugh at Rachel's ridiculous fears.

When the waiter comes I shove the cold food in front of me towards Rachel and set about eating my salad.

"You know it's very possible I'll poison your food one day just to get you to shut up."

She stops all motion, her hands lose grip of her eating utensils as they clatter noisily against her plate. "Would you? You can't hate me that much?…You need me."

I smile and take a sip of juice. There is no telling how satisfying it is to see Rachel so frightened. Maybe I don't have to poison her to shut up when an empty threat does the trick.

"I've been tempted to," I take another leafy green and chew it down while keeping her eyes locked with mine. She swallows, her fingers quiver even more. "But I probably won't unless you give me trouble or don't cooperate. It's totally true though that I need you. I need someone to do whatever I want them to do, so as long as you're still needed, you're safe."

"I think I lost my appetite." Rachel shoves her plate slightly to the side and wipes her mouth.

"Are you going to have them put the food in a box for you to take home? Wouldn't want to waste the special since, you know, you got two of them."

She contemplates it for a second but shrugs indifferently. "Are we ever going to be friends Santana?" Her voice is small and defeated. I know she's trying and it's been fun shooting down her efforts, but I could be a little nicer. That's what Brittany always tells me.

"Look Berry, you just annoy by breathing and existing so there's not much you can do there. But I'm doing lunch with you aren't I? I say hello in the morning and accept your cup of coffee with a smile even if I give it to my assistant Mike two minutes after. I don't barge rudely into your office anymore if I need something, I send my lovely, calm assistant to do that for me. I haven't said a bad word about you _yet_ to anyone in the office or the higher-ups. I don't tell you how unattractive you look in your ten-years-ago sweaters, I mean you know now, but I never said in front of everyone. In my opinion _we_ are doing pretty good."

I wipe my mouth with the napkin and fold my hands, the perfect end to my speech.

"I guess things could be worse," Rachel stutters. Her positivity annoys me to no end but at the same time I appreciate it.

"Now that we're all clear about the nada _us_ in our relationship, let's get down to business. Do you have the report?"

Ever since I put Rachel in her place, she reports to me once a week about anything I ask her to find out about. At first I looked at it like outsourcing, having another person to do research for me, but she soon proved to be terrible at spotting relevant information. Why in the world a top secret government agency would use her to track down their top wanted targets is beyond me. I stopped using her after I got a ten page report on how the horses in New York were being mistreated when she was supposed to look into the shady deals of one NYPD officer.

"What's the latest scoop on Millenicon?" I fold my arms over my chest instead of flipping through the stack of pages presented to me so she takes them back on starts giving me the brief. I love being Rachel's boss. Technically, she's in a higher position than me but that's just a title.

"I got the orders to do a search on people European governments have been favoring, they think ex-Millenicon agents may be working for other governments in exchange for protection."

I nod. Britt, Quinn, Beth and I are still pretty safe. "Do they have other people looking for this information too?"

"Two other people," Rachel replies, "One in the states and one in the Pacific."

"Great," I sigh, "But are you going to be in danger if you don't find any dirt?"

Rachel smiles a sinister smile that gives me the creeps, "That's what the random suspects are for. If you took a moment to look at the file I've created you'd see my extraordinary Photoshop skills. They did come in handy for more than merging my face with Barbra Streisand's face. I keep the file so I don't lose track of the people I'm supposed to be looking into and add information every now and then. It's quite entertaining. Here, I made one of Quinn coming out of a mall I googled located in Bath. Doesn't it look like her? And isn't it awesome how I made it a little blurry to add mystery, like it could be but maybe it isn't?"

It is a pretty good fake I have to admit. "Rachel, have you been watching too much NCIS, I know that Pablo girl is kind of hot but I wouldn't watch more than an episode even for that? Wait; or are you on some Nancy Drew crack? That's like a downgrade from Barbra to Bieber."

"You do not name that karaoke machine in the same breath as Barbra ever Santana," Rachel shouts. I didn't think she'd be that offended about the least offending part.

"Calm down," I pull her down into her seat and stare the onlookers back to their meals.

"And I'm not stupid Santana, you may think I am but I'm doing this for you, Brittany, Quinn…I'm doing my best to throw them off your tracks. Can't you for once say something nice or say thank you? You are a bitch just like when we were teens, some things don't change or mature." She gets up, throws down enough cash for her food and marches out as if she's leaving a cliff-hanging stage scene.

I have the urge to shout back, 'the same goes for you and your diva tantrums.' But it probably isn't the best place or time.

When I get back to the office I contemplate apologizing to Rachel but I have an important appointment with my girlfriend.

She's sitting there minding her business like one of those fashion models people feast their eyes on. I wonder if I would look as good as Brittany if I wore a white suit.

Mike stands by the door opening it with one hand and balancing a glass of water in the other. He keeps the door open for me with a grin. "Jess is here to see you." I pluck the glass from his hand and wink, "I know."

"Hey Britt," I give her the cup and round my desk to plop into my leather chair. "So, tell me everything! I got your text and I've been excited all morning. "

Brittany had been looking for a job from practically the first day she got her ID. The excitement brims from her eyes unlike I've seen before.

"You are now looking at the new official news anchor for _TG5 local news_." Her smile grows impossibly wide hearing herself say that. I know how much this means for her, not only having her first legal job but also working in a reporting and journalism. It was her dream once, well that dream was to have her own TV show but this is a step in the right direction and I couldn't be more proud of her.

"That's amazing baby, how did you do it? I mean they'd be crazy not to hire the most attractive woman in the country but wow, I heard the competition is tough."

"San, it's not a beauty contest." She slaps my hand resting on the glass table. "I don't know, I saw a flyer posted on their office. You know it's not really big because it's just local news. I walked in and asked if I could try for the position. I didn't even know what to do San."

"Then what?" I hold her hand because I love to and because in this moment I can't really express how proud I am of her.

"They took me to this bright room, seriously it's brighter than the TV screen and it's so much messier. They had this little boxed in area with two chairs facing each other, the lady that brought me in told me to sit in one. I was thinking maybe it was a bad idea, like maybe I should come back another day when I was more prepared."

"Wearing a full on suit looks pretty ready baby," I comment, still not over how hot she looks.

"That was probably why they hired me."

"Shut up."

"No but really, another guy came and sat down on the other chair. His hair was super white so I asked him if he bleached it cus he didn't look that old. Then I felt silly for asking when he started to laugh. You know how I get when I'm nervous, I ramble a lot and I think I did that for the whole interview. But the guy was smiling the whole time, maybe he likes that I can keep talking even when I don't know what I'm saying so much. After that I totally expected him to say the whole 'we'll call you when we have an answer' thing and never call but he just told me straight out that I was hired. He said I was perfect for the entertainment news segment which is kind of true since I watch lots of Lettermen and Jimmy Fallon also I have a super good fashion sense."

"Totally," I nod in agreement, "I remember in disguise class you always had the best outfits, even that time you got the garbage bags was super classy."

"So, I start work in two weeks but I have a meeting with my news editor who I haven't met yet."

"right."

Brittany has that wavering look in her eyes, the kind she gets when she's thinking if she should say something.

"What is it Britt?" I ask.

"Well, you know I'll be _Rosa_ and…being on TV will mean I'll also have to be undercover which means…I have to not look like _Brittany._"

I shake my head, not quite understanding.

"To keep my real identity hidden I'm going to change the way I look. I'm worried you won't like it."

I know there's no way I could find Brittany ugly no matter what she did but I was a bit curious about what she was thinking of. "So like, you're going to dye your hair red?" I joke.

"Black actually, and cut it short." She lifts her eyes to mine, gauging my reaction. "Also get a tan. Say something?"

I didn't realize Brittany was waiting for an answer, I was sort of imagining what Brittany would look like. "I could be down with that could actually be hot."

She lets out a visible sigh of relief.

"Britt," I want her to know I'm totally behind her whatever she wants to do, "I'm still going to love you with short hair, it's super trendy too and I think it's actually good for your position but most importantly, you're doing it to keep yourself safe there's no way I'm arguing with that."

She smiles the smile I would die to see every day as she rolls her chair to my side of the desk and lays her head on my shoulder. She wraps her arms around me and I hold them there.

"Thanks for understanding San. I thought really hard about it before telling you and I'll probably miss my long hair but it's for the best."

"I know," I whisper into her hair.

The moment is broken when the door of my office flies open, it's too late to push Brittany's and my chair apart so we stay there kind of locked in an awkward hug.

"Oh my god," Mike huffs and looks like a fish out of water, floundering about thinking if he should run out with his tail between his legs or try to give an explanation. "I'm so sorry. I should have knocked."

"Come off it Mike," I laugh to ease the mood. I retract my hands as does Brittany, "It's not like we were half naked having sex on the table."

"Right," He replies looking no better, he's actually redder in the face. "Well I was just going to tell you some good news I got but it can wait, sorry again." He turns to leave but I tell him to stay.

"What's the big news?" It seems like I've been getting big news all day today.

"Oh, umm." He comes nearer with all the awkwardness of a lizard trying to stand on its back legs. "You know how I told you about my girlfriend?"

"The air-hostess, yes." I reply.

"She's finally having a few days off and I wanted to ask you if…"

"You want a few days off." I finish his sentence.

He smiles gingerly.

"We could have dinner one day, all of us." He gives Brittany an acknowledging smile.

"Sure, I'd like to meet this girlfriend of yours that has you in the clouds most days. Don't think I'm oblivious to the phone calls Mike."

He gulps. Taking personal calls during work hours isn't prohibited but Mike knows I like him to be available at all times.

"Don't worry; I'm fine with it as long as you get your work done. You can have Thursday and Friday off. Spend a long weekend with your girl." I can sense Brittany smiling at me like I've done the most heroic thing in the world. She always encourages the nice side of me especially with people we know.

"Thanks so much Anita," I can barely see his eyes through his happiness,

"Will Friday night be ok for a double date?"

I don't have anything planned so I agree. He bounces out like one of those Chinese dragons.

It's a little harder working without Mike to run here and there for me. I keep forgetting to put my pumps back on when I'm going to get a file from someone's desk; I've had enough.

"Rachel!"

In a matter of seconds she's bursting through the doors, determination etched onto her face like she's going for first prize in a marathon to the top of the Empire state building.

"Did something happen are you hurt? What do you need, TELL ME!" She's the one that looks like she needs an oxygen line by the way she pants and how her nose expands times twenty.

"No Rachel," I say calmly hoping she'll realize that I am in fact okay, "I told you on the phone that I needed your assistance not this hysterical blubbering mess that you are."

"There's no emergency?" Rachel's face turns inquisitive.

"Oh, there is - just not the kind you think. See I let my assistant have a few days off and you know I really can't work without one. Consider this an upgrade from your boring desk job."

She comes dangerously close to my face as she pulls my chair towards her. "Santana, next time you need me you had better explain what you want. Assistance is a very ambiguous word."

"Then let me very clear with you," I push her away uncomfortable with the closeness. "You're going to be running around doing things for me while Mike is off dallying with his girlfriend."

"What if I say no?" Rachel crosses her arms.

"Seriously? Berry, I will make your life here hell."

She sits down in the chair across the desk, her eyes fixing on mine. "I don't know what this is Santana. Why can't you just be civil? Why…"

I sense where this is going and it's not where I want it to. I don't hate Rachel, not at all. It's just that she's a semi-attractive girl that really does annoy the hell out of me. I can't be nice to her; that would let loose a whole ton of things I don't want to deal with like feelings. I'd actually have to say nice things to her and think before I comment on how grating her voice is, I'd have to feel like _not_ doing those things. Impossible.

"Berry I don't have all day, I just need a few files from bloc 34, 65, and 54. Just go up to them, they already have it ready."

"That's like three different floors." Her eyes bulge. It's not like I asked her to take the stairs.

"We have lightning fast elevators, if you didn't waste so much time complaining you'd be done already. Look, I'm not going to ask you that often."

I wait for an answer as I prepare a new spread sheet on my computer.

"Fine, but no more insults. I don't know if anyone has told you but you have terrible manners." She gets up and points a finger at me for emphasis, "You can't even ask nicely, I'm not your slave."

And once again she marches off.

* * *

><p><strong>Lots still to happen, big things for Britt and errr shit hits Santana:)<strong>

**reviews are love**


End file.
